I Don't Want to Talk About It
By: Apolla
Disclaimer:None of the Harry Potter characters belong to me, I only play with their love lives
Timeline: OotP-ish…not really canon
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"What the hell is your problem?" Nymphadora Tonks asked as she loudly barged into Remus Lupin's bedroom, leaving the door wide open behind her.
It was almost one in the morning. Tonks had arrived at Grimmauld Place for an Order meeting, and had gone over to chat with Remus beforehand. She had been basically living at Grimmauld Place the past few months, but she had ended up spending the last couple of nights at her own apartment attempting to clean up her kitchen, which she had left as a mess and had somehow, over the past few months, started growing things.
However, Remus had acted distant and strangely polite. Tonks had brushed it off, but then he hadn't sat next to her at the meeting. He didn't look at her like he usually did during one of Moody's long-winded talks about vigilance or Snape's condescending reports and roll his eyes or make some sort of face that would always make Tonks smile happily, because it was a secret the two of them shared.
And after the meeting, Tonks had gone up to talk to him but he had practically run away from her, muttering something about needing to talk to Dumbledore. This had turned out to be a load of bollocks, however, because he proceeded to spend the next hour standing in the corner and talking to Molly Weasley.
Finally, everyone besides Tonks, Remus, and Sirius had left, and Remus had quickly gone up to his room. "What's the matter with him?" Tonks had wondered out loud.
Sirius, who had been standing behind her, answered. "I have no idea," he said.
Tonks turned around. "He's been acting strangely for the past few days," Sirius explained.
Suddenly he looked at Tonks consideringly. "Did you two get in a fight or something?"
"No!" Tonks said huffily. "Why would you think that?"
"Well, he's been in a bad mood, you haven't been staying here…"
"My neighbor owled me and told me the whole building smelled because of my apartment, so I was taking care of that."
Sirius frowned. "Oh. Then I don't know what his problem is."
Tonks stayed in the kitchen and chatted with Sirius a bit longer before going up to bed. She changed into a long t-shirt and crawled into bed, but she couldn't fall asleep. The more she had thought about Remus' behavior, the angrier she became. What was the matter with him, anyway? And why was he taking it out on her and Sirius?
Now thoroughly annoyed, Tonks had decided to find out. She had stomped up the stairs to Remus' room and had thrown open the door, demanding to know what was going on. "What are you talking about?" Remus asked, turning around.
He had been working at his desk, his back to the door. He was now facing her, but he wouldn't look at her. His tone was pleasant, but Tonks could hear the strain beneath it. Tonks crossed her arms, suddenly realizing she was standing in there in just a t-shirt. "You heard me," Tonks said. "And don't bother trying to deny it. Sirius picked up on your shitty mood as well, so I know I'm not imagining things."
"I don't know what to tell you, Tonks," Remus said, carefully enunciating each word and still looking at the wall next to her head.
Tonks narrowed her eyes at him. He never called her Tonks when it was just the two of them; he always called her Nymphadora. It always annoyed her, obviously, but it was still disconcerting to hear him call her by her last name. "Quit using that polite tone with me, Remus," she snapped at him. "I find it annoying."
He finally looked at her, his eyes skimming over her body so quickly she thought she imagined it, before looking at her face. Tonks frowned at his emotionless expression. "I'm sorry the sound of my voice annoys you," he replied blandly.
Tonks literally stomped her foot in frustration. "You know that's not what I mean."
She tried a more rational approach, moving closer to Remus as she spoke. "Are you mad at me or something? Because I don't know why you would be, we haven't argued, and I haven't even seen you for a few days now."
"I know."
He took a step back from her, but something flickered in his eyes – anger? hurt? disappointment? – before he turned away. Tonks felt her anger building. "Remus, what the bloody hell – "
"I know," he repeated, interrupting and turning back to face her.
She could definitely make out the anger in his eyes now. "I know that you went out with Charlie Weasley Tuesday evening. And I know that since Tuesday night, you haven't been spending your nights here."
Tonks stared at him. "What?" she finally managed to croak out. "You – you think that I would – after one date – "
Her indignant spluttering was interrupted by Remus very obviously looking her up and down. "You're the one standing in my room at one in the morning half-dressed," he pointed out.
Tonks flushed, pulling down the hem of her shirt self-consciously, before anger set in. Before either of them knew what was happening, Tonks slapped him across the face. Someone approaching interrupted them as they stared at each other. "What are you two on about – "
Sirius stopped talking. He had heard shouting and come to the top of the stairs to find a slightly-disheveled Tonks wearing only an oversized t-shirt and standing in Remus' room, while Remus had a red handprint on his left cheek. "What the hell is going on?" Sirius asked, standing in the doorway to Remus' room.
"Nothing," Tonks said, tears in her eyes, as she pushed past Sirius and went to her own room, slamming the door.
Sirius looked to Remus, but Remus closed his door in Sirius' face.
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Remus had trouble sleeping that night. Then again, he hadn't been able to get much sleep for the past couple of nights. He had overheard Molly and Sirius gossiping about Tonks and Charlie's date on Tuesday, and tonight had been the first time Tonks had returned to Grimmauld Place since. Remus knew he shouldn't have implied that Tonks was easy – he had seen her tears before she had left the room because of his words – but he couldn't help it.
A few weeks before she had claimed to have feelings for him, but he had of course pointed out that it could never work. Between the age difference, the werewolf problem, the fact that she deserved someone fun and outgoing like herself – it just wouldn't have worked out. Tonks had told him she would change his mind, that she wouldn't give up on him. Remus had told her not to bother, but a secret part of him had wanted to believe her.
He scowled. Then she had gone out with Charlie Weasley. What was worse was that Remus liked Charlie Weasley. He and Tonks would be very happy together. And obviously Tonks had realized Charlie would be much better for her than an unemployed professor who turned into a monster once a month; after one date with the second-oldest Weasley, she hadn't returned to her own bed.
He rubbed his reddened cheek absently. He thought of Tonks' fiery eyes when she had first come into his room and her tear-filled ones when she left.
Then, torturing himself, he thought of the body that one thin t-shirt didn't do much to hide.
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"Tonks? What's going on?" Kingsley Shacklebolt asked her later the next day.
Tonks had been acting distracted all day in the office. "Nothing," Tonks said, her voice unconvincing.
Kingsley leaned against the partition to of her cubicle. "Come on, Tonks, you can tell me," he cajoled her.
Tonks looked at him for a moment. He was probably her closest friend, after all.
"It's really nothing," she said. "I just got in a fight with Remus last night."
"Remus?" Kingsley repeated, looking surprised.
His expression cleared. "Well, I'm sure you'll work it out," he said confidently.
Tonks shook her head. "I don't think so. He insulted me, and I hit him."
Kingsley looked at her in shock. "You hit Remus Lupin? Tonks!" he admonished her.
"I can't believe you're taking his side!" Tonks cried, incensed. "He implied that I was a slut!"
Kingsley's eyes practically bugged out of his head. If Tonks hadn't been so upset, she would have laughed at the great, always levelheaded Auror being so astonished by common gossip. "Lupin said that?" he asked disbelievingly. "Lupin?"
"What, you don't believe me?" Tonks snapped.
"Of course I believe you," Kingsley hurried to reassure her. "It's just – why would he – Lupin?"
Tonks turned away from her friend. "I don't want to talk about it."
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"I don't want to talk about it," Remus said to Sirius that night.
Sirius had been pestering Remus all day about what had happened between him and Tonks. "Moony, she slapped you," he said. "It may be gone now, but I saw her handprint on your face last night."
He narrowed his eyes at his friend. "What was my little cousin doing in your room half-naked, anyway?"
"She barged into my room," Remus said defensively.
The conversation was interrupted by the apparition of Molly, Arthur, Bill, and Kingsley. "I thought I'd make dinner for you boys," Molly said brightly as everyone exchanged greetings.
"Where's Tonks?" Sirius asked Kingsley as Molly started cooking and Arthur and Bill sat down at the table, talking about their day at the Ministry.
"Finishing up some paperwork," Kingsley replied.
He looked at Remus. "I don't know if she's going to stop by, though."
Remus ignored the twisting in his stomach at Kingsley's words. At least last night, he had known that Tonks wasn't in someone else's bed. When had he turned into this jealous, territorial creature, anyway?
"Why not?" Molly asked, interrupting Remus' thoughts.
Kingsley shrugged, but his glare at Remus let Remus know that Kingsley knew exactly what had occurred. Sirius was looking between Kingsley and Remus with interest. Suddenly Sirius stood. "Kingsley, let me talk to you in the hall for a moment."
Remus felt dread as Sirius and Kingsley disappeared. When they came back, Sirius was scowling. "You are such an idiot," he hissed at Remus under his breath. "We are going to talk later."
To the collective surprise of Remus, Sirius, and Kingsley, Tonks then showed upr, along with Moody. "Heard you were cooking, Molly," Tonks said in a falsely cheery tone.
"You're just in time, dear," Molly said. "Dinner's ready."
The eight Order members sat down to enjoy Molly's dinner. Sirius, Molly, Arthur, Moody, and Kingsley were talking about the Ministry, and Remus and Tonks were both silent. "So," Bill finally said to Tonks quietly. "How was your date with Charlie?"
Apparently he hadn't asked her quietly enough. Kingsley started choking on his food at Bill's words, and Sirius flicked a glance at Remus, who was steadfastly looking down at his plate. Tonks forced a smile to her face, resisting the urge to look at Remus. "It was fun," she answered. "We – "
Her words were cut off by Remus abruptly standing. "If you'll excuse me," he said stiffly to Molly, who nodded at him, confused.
Something softened in Tonks' eyes. "I'll be right back," she said, also getting to her feet.
"What's going on?" Arthur asked, puzzled, as Tonks left the room.
Sirius and Kingsley exchanged a look, but neither one of them said anything.
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Tonks hurried out of the room and found Remus sitting on the stairs. "I didn't think you'd insult me," she said quietly.
Remus looked up at her as she came to a stop at the bottom of the stairs. "Excuse me?"
"When you found out about my date," Tonks expounded.
Remus just looked at her. "Well, you didn't come back here," he finally said. "What was I supposed to think? You'd been living here for months."
Tonks sat down on the stair next to him. "I was at my apartment. Fungus problem."
Remus felt stupid, and a little embarrassed. "Oh. I'm sorry I – "
"You told me to, you know," Tonks interrupted his apology.
"What?" Remus asked, confused.
"You told me to go out with someone my own age. Don't you remember?"
"I remember," Remus said grimly.
He looked at her. "Why are you telling me this?"
To his surprise, she smiled sadly at him. "It was part of my plan."
"Your plan," he repeated, nonplussed.
She nodded. "I figured I'd take your advice, and then you'd realize how stupid it was. You'd get jealous and realize you wanted to be with me, and forget all your stupid reasons as to why we shouldn't be together."
"I'm not jealous," Remus said quickly.
But Tonks didn't look like she believed him. "Really," she said, leaning into him and lowering her voice.
Remus did his best to ignore her proximity. "All right then," she continued. "Do you want to hear about how our date went?"
"No," Remus bit out.
Tonks bit back a smile. Maybe her plan had worked after all. "He was really quite the gentleman, Remus," she said innocently.
She paused. "Well, except for when – "
Her words were cut off when Remus suddenly leaned forward and kissed her. Tonks responded eagerly. The kiss hadn't been what she would have expected from Remus; it was forceful, demanding. His hand came to the back of his head, and she could feel his anger and frustration. "Except for nothing, Remus," she said softly once they broke apart.
"What?" he asked, his breathing heavy.
She brought a hand to his cheek, looking into his eyes. "Absolutely nothing happened with Charlie."
"Good, Nymphadora."
He brought her mouth to his again.