was just an easy away mission: visit the Murin people and talk about the Federation and make nice with the leaders. It was all going well until Jim Kirk happened to stand next to his communications officer under some sort of tree/vine thingy that turned out to be sacred and also symbolized marriage. The aliens squealed and started dancing around the two of them, blatantly ignoring Spock, who was just behind them.

"What are they doing?" Kirk hissed under his breath. "I thought we were following protocol!"

Evidently whatever it was, it was embarrassing, because Uhura had a look of epic mortification on her face.

"They're celebrating our unification, Captain," she whispered tensely. "This Tree thing has some sort of symbolic...marriage association."

These poor aliens, if they only knew how dreadful Uhura viewed such a prospect, they'd know it was nonsense, thought Jim grimly.

"What? Is there a way we can indicate it's Spock you're with and make the fake wedding less awkward?" Kirk asked urgently.

She said something to the native leader who chattered away rapidly.

"He says when two walk side by side underneath the tree of unity, they declare intention to be united. Spock can be the witness though. Ugh."

She wrinkled her nose at the thought of even being fake married to her annoying captain.

In the end, Spock agreed that they should go through the ritual, since it wouldn't be legal and he wanted to keep on the Murin's good side for discussions later.

So, they stood in the center of a circle of chanting Murins, while silver ceremonial collars were affixed and an elderly native recited a blessing.

Jim wondered what he said, but Uhura refused to tell him and he guessed it probably had something to do with marital bliss, which made him chuckle inwardly, before she glared at him.

Spock didn't seem too put out by the whole thing, being too busy learning a new cultural tradition. That fact only miffed Uhura more.

By the time they'd finished negotiations and beamed back to the ship, she was ready to break her collar off herself.

Jim caught her before they went out and apologized for inadvertently causing the awkward events, but Bones taunted him for weeks about it.

next incident involving Kirk, Uhura, and a fake marriage, only happened because Spock was too ill to be on the away team and be the "husband." But under the circumstances, Jim thought his first officer got off easy.

The matriarchal society of Elgith was appalled that a male was allowed out unattended to make contact with their leaders.

Jim was tied hand and foot while Uhura explained they hadn't known the strict policies and tried to worm their way out of the dilemma.

The answer involved him being forced to literally kiss her feet and kneel beside them the whole time she was meeting with the women of the Elgith council.

It was mortifying, but, Jim reflected, Uhura randomly petting him like he was her favorite dog wasn't the worst thing in the world and they'd seen way too many planets where the situation was reversed. At least as a guest he was allowed to keep his clothes on. Some of the men kneeling beside their mates wore almost nothing.

At the end of the talks, it was clear that Elgith was not likely to join the Federation, but they parted ways on good terms with Uhura, complimenting her on her fine leadership skills and handsome mate.

"They were kind of jealous of me," Uhura teased him when they had returned to the ship. "No one else had a mate with such pretty eyes. They offered to trade me one of their men for you."

Kirk choked back laughter. "I'm assuming you were tempted?"

"A little," she teased, "but I turned them down. Spock really doesn't want to be Captain, after all."

for Uhura, the next awkward encounter was on one of those rigidly male dominated misogynistic societies. She had to be on the away team to translate, but the Jixtha would not talk at all, so Kirk broke out the Universal Translator to figure out what they were saying.

"You allow a woman to speak for you? That is against all our laws."

Kirk spoke as politely as he could under the circumstances.

"Yes, your eminence, in our culture women have the same rights as men."

The alien turned a blotchy orange color and started ranting a bunch of rules they would have to follow if they wanted to negotiate. The translator couldn't catch it all, but enough for Jim to know that that they would not need to waste time with this planet. They were not good candidates for membership.

"You think Spock will understand?" Kirk asked on the trip back to the ship, having narrowly escaped from Uhura being thrown into prison.

"He was very insistent that this planet would be an asset to the Federation."

"If he doesn't, we've got serious problems," Uhura said shortly, still steaming about the terrible conditions she'd seen the females in. "I'll back you up on this. No one needs this planet with its anachronistic, oppressive, sexist society. They won't even let the females go outside alone! They're basically prisoners!"

"It's vile, Lieutenant," Kirk agreed firmly, clenching his jaw at the memory. "I'm not budging on this one. They're not ready to be a part of our Federation and that's that."

fourth awkward experience happened when they were being mind controlled by ridiculously sadistic aliens who took delight in toying with the away team, making them dance bizarrely, act like animals, and generally humiliate themselves. Spock and Uhura had ended things last month and Jim sensed she'd needed some time to clear her head, so he'd put her on the away team and asked Spock to take the chair while he was gone, not expecting the crazy scenario they ended up in.

Things spun out of control in a hurry when they attempted to befriend the natives and found that their bodies weren't obeying their brains very well.

Jim found himself approaching his lieutenant with the strange urge to kiss her senseless, which was not something he could let happen.

Sure, he thought she was gorgeous and amazing, but also way out of his league. They'd started to really click as friends and there was no way he wanted to ruin that now by such an impulsive act. His body, though, kept moving against his will and strangely, she was making a beeline for him.

Soon they were standing almost chest to chest staring at each other, both fighting the sudden need that had taken over their minds.

She had such beautiful eyes, Jim thought wildly as his arms moved to wrap around her.

"Captain, we have to stop this!" She hissed. Her own arms had seemingly disobeyed her, however, as they had returned the embrace and wandered up and down Jim's back.

"I'm trying," he gritted out with great effort. "Whatever they're doing has almost complete control, now.

It was physically painful to say anything of his own free will and he winced at the throbbing in his head. Out of the corner of his eye, several red shirts were turning cartwheels, and the hosts were roaring with laughter at their expense.

Finally Uhura muttered "Oh what the heck" and planted her lips on his.

Mind-controlled or not, it was one of the best kisses Jim ever had, and left him feeling guilty over how much he'd enjoyed it.

Uhura kissed how she lived: fierce, hot and strong and Jim was the one left dazed and gasping when it ended, although he did his best to give as good as he got.

They didn't speak a word until back on the ship when Scotty got the transporters working again. Uhura broke the silence with a chuckle.

"Pretty impressive, Captain," she said playfully. "Can you kiss that well under your own free will?"

Jim grinned slyly.

"I guess you'll never know, Lieutenant," he replied smugly. "Like me with your first name."

"Well played, Jim." She responded good-naturedly as they silently promised to never speak of it again.

mission itself wasn't awkward, but what happened afterward made Jim beet red every time he remembered it.

He, Spock, and Uhura were transporting back to the ship after a very successful mission to Sirius V when something very...unfortunate occurred. Jim felt suddenly extremely cold upon arriving on the transporter pad and looked down to find all his outer clothes had disappeared, leaving him in nothing but his underwear.

Jim groaned. Not again. Last week it had done the same thing to Bones and himself, which resulted in a furious, red-faced doctor ranting and raving about incompetent engineers and treacherous transporters as well as a highly amused and slightly less embarrassed Captain.

He looked over at Spock, who was equally unclothed, but unbothered except for a tinge of green around his ears. Who would have thought Vulcans had so much chest hair?

"Scotty, I thought you said you'd fixed this thing!" Jim called to the flustered engineer, who was staring angrily at the controls.

"I thought I did, Captain! It's completely baffling to me!" Scotty protested.

Jim sighed and crossed his arms over his extremely bare, decidedly unhairy chest.

"The least you can do is find some kind of cover up for the Commander and Lieutenant and I. We're not going anywhere like this."

"Aye, Captain."

Despite the temptation of his baser instincts, He steadfastly refused to look to his left at Uhura. For one, He rather valued his manhood, and for another, he wasn't THAT guy anymore and he wanted to keep her trust and respect that had been so hard to earn. He even closed his eyes to be absolutely sure he couldn't see anything he shouldn't and was stunned when her smooth voice said with a touch of humor, "Not bad, Captain: both the biceps and the self-control."

Jim blushed to the roots of his hair.

He opened his eyes again as someone thrust a blanket into his hands. Spock was staring at him oddly and a bit suspiciously.

Let him wonder, Jim thought, following his blanket draped lieutenant out of the transporter room. There technically wasn't anything to wonder about-yet.

+1. Being kidnapped and handcuffed to Uhura in the bowels of a Romulan vessel was not how Jim imagined he'd end up confessing his feelings, but really considering the circumstances and how bleak things looked for the two of them, he figured he didn't have anything to lose.

They'd fallen into a sinister trap on a supposedly humanitarian mission and ended up captured by a secret sect that admired Nero.

Their captors used Kirk for a punching bag for a few minutes, then spat something in Romulan at Uhura and left with mocking laughter.

"What did they say?" asked Jim, trying to wipe the blood off his mouth and nose.

"They were telling me in graphic detail how they are going to torture you to death while I'm forced to watch," she choked out. "I refuse to say what that is, so don't ask. Let's just say it will be torture itself to watch it."

A sick feeling churned in Jim's stomach. Now he was no coward, but Romulan torture was legendary in all the worst ways and their ships were well cloaked and shielded.

It would take a miracle to save them now. Who knew what their plans were for Uhura? He clenched his fists at the thought of them hurting or assaulting her while he lay helpless.

"Well, unless Spock pulls off the heist of The Century, this is probably it for us. It's been good serving with you, Uhura."

"James T. Kirk, Mr. No no-win scenario is giving up? I find that hard to believe," Uhura said trying for skepticism, but a slight shake in her voice gave her away.

"Shocking isn't it?" Jim said with a twisted half smile. "For once I can't see the way out of this. These cuffs are more like manacles."

He looked down despondently at his hand attached to hers securely by the high tech cuffs. Their ankles were both chained to the floor with heavy iron Shackles.

"Just a few years ago if we'd been trapped like this, we'd be clawing each other's eyes out," Jim observed.

"You'd probably have made a million crude jokes and tried to hit on me," his lieutenant replied. "It's nice to see you've matured."

Jim smiled sheepishly and picked at his uniform with his free hand.

"I've also come to understand the value of actual relationships, shocking as that is. There's someone I'd very much like a second chance with before I die."

"And you regret not telling that person?"

"Yeah," Jim admitted nervously.

"The chances of her responding positively are pretty low, but I'd tell her how I've loved her for years and say I was sorry for the crap I put her through. Then I'd tell her what a great officer and person she is, followed by a short diatribe on her stunning beauty."

The captain was blushing hotly as he admitted this, wondering if she'd guessed he was talking about her.

Oh, well. What was the worst that could happen? He was going to die, anyway.

He felt a tug on the cuff on his left hand as Uhura suddenly grabbed it in hers.

"Jim, look at me."

He'd been staring at the floor determinedly the whole time, but his attention was grabbed by the use of his first name.

He slowly raised his eyes to look at her, wondering what kind of reaction his confession would have.

"You're really adorable when you're blushing, you know that? Also, very transparent. Are you telling me you've got genuine feelings for me?"

"Yes," he gulped, hoping she wasn't upset at him for even saying it. "Don't be mad. It won't be a problem much longer."

She choked back a hysterical sound.

"James Tiberius Kirk, you precious idiot you! You're that clueless about what I've been trying to communicate? I guess I overdid the subtlety, then."

Jim blinked, not comprehending that she could possibly be welcoming his interest for once.

"You mean, you-you're willing to give me a chance if we get out of this?"

"Mmmm-hmmm," she confirmed with a smile. "Which is why you need to quit that defeatist attitude right now and remember you're a Kirk!"

This snapped Kirk out of his slump. He sat up straighter and squeezed back, hope and joy flooding through him and he began to inspect every inch of the space they were held with the eyes of a captain and strategist.

When the Romulans came back to grab them, Kirk and Uhura were ready for them.

Kirk fought like a man possessed, distracting them enough for Uhura to disable a key power source for the ship, leaving it hobbled.

He was eventually overpowered and dragged over to a platform that looked eerily similar to the one Pike had been held on.

Somehow, he didn't know how, she managed to get hold of a phaser before they'd got far into the torture and zip! zap! zip! Three Romulans lay stunned.

The one holding the whip turned and ZAP! went down hard after he'd struck Jim only five times.

Uhura freed Jim and checked the bloody stripes down his chest with a frown.

"Let's get out of here before they decide to upgrade to the spiked version," Jim said with a shudder, pointing at a nasty looking weapon in the hand of of one of their unconscious captors.

His shirts were unwearable, having been literally ripped off his body, so Jim made his escape without half his clothing, which didn't phase him, being a frequent occurrence.

With some wild scrambling, hacking, and help from Scotty and Spock, the two were beamed back to the Enterprise, little worse for wear.

Uhura grabbed her captain and hugged him tightly, snuggling as close as she could

"Jim, we made it."

"Yes, we did," he acknowledged happily, returning the embrace freely. "So does that mean you'll go out with me?"

She smiled up at him and kissed his bruised jaw.

"Yes, as long as you go see Dr. McCoy without fussing."

He made a face and dramatically sighed.

"You drive a hard bargain, but I'll do it because you're worth all the hyposprays and insults he throws at me. Thanks for saving me from being flayed alive, by the way. That was actually really hot the way you handled those brutes."

"You think I'll ever want to watch you die again?" She whispered, brown eyes serious as she traced one of the red lash marks with a finger. "Not gonna happen on my watch, James T. Kirk, so get used to it."

They grinned at each other again and headed for the turbolift shamelessly holding hands.

Spock and Bones were amazed at how docile the captain was: he sat still meekly while being patched up and gave Spock the mission report without quibbling and procrastinating.

Jim and Nyota, as he now called her off-duty, did enjoy their date and many more after that.