Author's Note: Un-betaed humour about Trunks and Goten (my favourite pair), wrote this when I got bored with studying :-) Any comments/reviews appreciated.

Very slight AU, you'll see in later chapters. In the story, Goten is 18.

Disclaimer: I do not own Dragonball Z, unfortunately.

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Ch1 Goten's little problem

'Trunks, I need your help.' Goten rolled over on Trunks' large double bed, his muffled voice came out through the pillows, probably not intending his best friend to hear.

'What's wrong, Goten?' Switching off the TV, the lavender haired-teen turned towards the source of the noise, but only saw Goten's pineapple-styled hair sticking out from a pile of fluffy pillows. Trunks signed. Goten was rarely this shy when asking for help from him unless it was a big favour, and Trunks just had this weak spot of not able to turn his best friend down. Trunks suddenly had a bad feeling about this.

'I broke up with my girlfriend yesterday.'

Trunks waited, but no more was coming.

'Oh, well, sorry to hear that.' Trunks said flatly, while not sounding sorry at all. One can hardly blame him. When the first time this happened, Trunks was a very supportive friend. When it came to the third time, Trunks ran out of comforting words. And when the recurrence ran into double digits, Trunks just couldn't care less about his best friend's chores.

Goten mumbled something into the pillow.

'Goten, if you do want to whine and get some sympathy or a break-up therapy, you'd better tell me what happened. The thing you are talking to now is a pillow, in case you didn't notice.'

Goten groaned then turned to face Trunks, but deliberately avoided Trunks' eyes.

This isn't going anywhere , and why does Goten have that little flush on his cheeks? Trunks signed with a note of irritation, 'So what did you do this time? Dumped her on the first date, broke her heart by refusing to spend the night over at her flat, or ran away screaming when she told you she was pregnant with…'

'Stop it, Trunks.' Goten snapped weakly, while flushed even more, 'you know that's not what happened last time. I never slept with that girl, then one day she just told me she was pregnant!'

'Yeah, that's exactly my point, pregnant with someone else's child. You should at least let me finish my sentence.' The black-haired teen swore under his breath. Trunks smirked and felt much better. 'So why did you and your girl break up?' Trunks asked again, this time with genuine curiosity. Simply because, knowing all of Goten's past drama, Trunks couldn't think of any other reason to break up with a girl.

To Trunks' surprise, Goten flushed into a deeper shade of red. 'You promise you won't laugh at me… and will keep this a secret?'

'Yeah, of course, you know I always do.' Trunks lied without blinking. Ten seconds passed, Trunks raised an eyebrow, 'Spill it out, Goten.'

'Ican'tgetitup.' Goten murmured, suddenly seemed to be very interested in a piece of loose string on the bed sheet.

'What? Oh...' If I heard what I think I heard… Trunks let out a giggle, then a very long string of laughter. Goten's head snapped up. He stared at his offending and now seriously out-of-breath friend, then kicked Trunks straight off the bed. So Trunks just continued rolling on the floor with laughter, while looking up at his friend now and then during breath breaks. God, I wonder how many shades of red Goten can turn, he looked so cute while he's fuming.

'Shut up!' Several pillows flew at Trunks at lightning speed, Goten turned from embarrassed to livid.

'Sorry.' Trunks said quickly, schooling his features into those of a concerned and caring friend. With the intelligence inherited from his mother and the cunning from his father, Trunks knew exactly when to stop pushing someone over the edge. 'You couldn't get it up while you and your girl were at it, so she broke up with you?'

Goten nodded, apparently calmed down by his friend's soft and soothing voice. 'Do you think there's something wrong with me?' Goten started to sound a little worried.

'Well, dear friend, let's not jump to conclusions. However, we do need to take this seriously. I believe we can investigate your problem using a scientific approach.' Trunks' eyes suddenly flushed with glee, he jumped up from the floor and walked over to the southern wall (which was covered with books up to the ceiling) of his bedroom. He picked up a very thick book, and turned the pages in a flourish move, too fast for Goten to read the title of the book.

'There's a book on… this kind of problem?' Goten asked in disbelief.

'Oh, trust me, there's a book on every kind of problem.' Trunks smirked, sat down at the desk and set the book on his knees. 'I've got the Philology, the Sex Manual for Teens, the Hunter and the Prey…'

'Alright, I got your point. So what does it say?' Goten couldn't see the content of the book, but the thickness made him feel better.

'Well, it says… in order to solve your problem, we can use a three-step model: identify the problem, develop the solution, and monitor the experience. To identify the problem, we need a vertical historic comparison and a horizontal cross-sectional comparison. So, for the vertical historic comparison, tell me, when did your problem get started? With what percentage of your girlfriends did you experience this problem? Did your problem show an increasing trend over time?'

Goten looked really confused.

Trunks smiled at his friend encouragingly.

Goten remained silent.

Trunks raised an eye-brow.

Goten scratched his head, 'Sorry, can you make it one short question a time?'

Trunks shrugged, 'Is she the only one you can't get hard on?'

'No. I had this problem with, er, all of them…' As soon as the words left his mouth, Goten knew it was not a good idea.

'Noted…hmph…WHAT?' Trunks looked at Goten with round eyes, 'you had kami-knows-how-many girlfriends, and you were not able to get hard on any of them! And that can only mean, oh, kami, you are still a virgin!'

There isn't even a question mark after that sentence! Goten groaned, now flushed into a deep shade of purple. 'SO WHAT!' Goten finally retorted

'I'm just surprised.' Pleasantly surprise, actually. A small voice added in Trunk's head. Aware of the flaring of Goten's Ki, Trunks decided against telling Goten how cute he looked with that rosy flush on his cheeks.

He's definitely enjoying himself too much! Goten launched towards Trunks, trying to land a solid punch on his friend. Trunks sprang out of range, but the book on his knees landed on the ground with a big thud. The title read 'Assets and Liability Valuation'.

'WHAT! YOU USED YOUR DAMN STUPID INVESTMENT TEXT BOOK TO SOLVE MY IMPOTENT PROBLEM!! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!'

'Calm down your Ki, Goten, you don't want my dad running up here thinking we are at each other's throat.' Trunks frowned at his friend's temper. 'I bet your dad will like that.' Goten obviously didn't buy this.

'Alright, I'm sorry, Goten. I didn't mean to laugh at you.' Seeing that threat didn't work, Trunks switched to his most apologetic look, 'Maybe you just didn't meet your type of girl.' Goten kept on seething.

OK apology is not working either, now try sincerity. 'Look, Goten, you are my best friend, I will do anything in my power to help you with your problem.' Trunks whispered, looking straight into Goten's eyes.

Goten's Ki started to calm down, Trunks applauded for himself -- until he saw Goten suddenly give him a huge bright grinned. 'Hmph?' Trunks eyed Goten alarmingly.

'You said anything, Trunks?' Goten didn't wait for a response. He jumped at Trunks from the bed, locked his unprepared friend on the floor in a fluid motion, then shot out a hand to pull down Trunks' pants. 'What the hell?' Trunks claimed, wrestling Goten off completely out of reflex. Goten's head hit the bedboard with a big 'bang'. 'That hurts!' Goten groaned, one hand went to rub the newly formed lump, while the other kept its iron grab on Trunks' belt. 'What do you think you are doing!' Trunks shouted.

'Take them off, let me have a look.' Goten's eyes locked on Turnks' crotch, 'I want to compare yours to mine. You never know, there may be something physically wrong with me.'

'WHAT?!' Trunks obviously could not follow the logic of his best friend. 'No! I will not allow you to see mine!' But Trunks realised that if he struggled more, his pants were going to be torn into pieces. Plus Goten's glare fixing on his lower body seemed to have drawn all of his blood to a very inappropriate body part, making the said part trying to stand up for even more attention. Too bad. Trunks sat still, using both hands to keep Goten in place, 'Release your hand, NOW!'

'Only if you take it off yourself.' Goten looked at Trunks unyieldingly, 'You said you will do ANYTHING to help me, and I'm sure looking at it is not going to hurt!'

'No!' Trunks was going mad. He could not let his best friend see his current state-- aroused is to put it mildly, thanks for the intimate interactions they just went through. 'If you really want to compare, you can show me yours, and I will tell you if there is anything wrong with it.'

'No, that's embarrassing. Let me see yours.' Goten went on tugging down Trunks' pants while Trunks desperately trying to hold it in place. The feeble material is no match for two saiya strength, so it predictably broke.

'Goten, you just tore my pants! That's it! I will knock some sense into your head!' Trunks screamed.

'No, just let me do it and I promise it's not going to hurt.' Goten looked very determined, now moving onto Trunks' underwear.

'Get off! Or I will blast you off!' trunks started to power up.

--

'WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING!' The locked door of Trunks' bedroom was suddenly blasted open, revealing two pure blood Saiyas, one looking very angry, the other very confused.

'Oh, shit.' Both teens jumped apart like deer caught in headlight. They eyed the window- their escape route- in sync.

'Dad, it's not what you think! Let me explain! … Please.' Knowing exactly what this looked like, Trunks pleaded his father with a most tearful look which he knew Vegeta always had trouble to resist. Goten was now coated in cold sweat, looking from Vegeta to his father Goku, 'Dad, Vegeta-san…We are, we are just…' He stuttered.

'… studying together.' Trunks took over Goten's sentence, gesturing the book on the floor. Goten nodded immediately. Vegeta gave the thick book a suspicious look, but the title, though incomprehensible, looked innocent enough to him.

The small Saiya frowned, his eyes narrowed on Trunks' torn pants. Turnks quickly pulled down the bed sheet to hide the mess, 'Er… Dad, we were sitting on the floor studying… Then I felt something crawling up my leg, Goten wanted to help me catch it. But when I saw that thing I panicked, so my Ki shot up and we tore my pants.' Trunks smiled timidly at his father, who seemed unimpressed, so Trunks added for effect, 'You see, Dad, it was a thick worm, really wet, slimy, slippery …'

'DON'T DESCRIBE IT TO ME!' Vegeta growled and shuddered at the image that his son was putting into his head. Goku looked at both of them, then smiled his trade-mark smile and patted Vegeta on the shoulder, 'I don't think our boys are up to anything bad. Let's go back to our sparing.' Vegeta seemed to want to protest, maybe just for the sake of disagreeing with Kakarotte.

'Oh, Dad, we lost the worm while Goten and I were struggling. I think that thing is still somewhere in this room.' Trunks deliberately looked toward the floor where his dad was standing.

Vegeta visibly went green. In the next second, he disappeared with Goku after barking out something like, 'If I catch you two next time…'

--

'Ephew, that was a good lie, Trunks.' Goten let out a long-held breath.

Trunks growled at Goten, 'My dad wouldn't be shouting at us if you didn't come up with that ridiculous idea.'

'Well, if you just let me see it… And if you haven't raised your Ki, they wouldn't be here…Er?' Goten suddenly got distracted… 'Yeah, Trunks, I think it's working! I can't believe this! IT'S UP!' Goten grinned from ear to ear.

Trunks spotted a tent-shape in Goten's pants. Trunks was just happy that the bed sheet was hiding his erection.

'Let's do it! I can't let this go wasted.' Goten chirped cheerfully.

'What?' Trunks looked both shocked and thoughtful, his best friend never ceased to surprise him, 'Are you sure? You want to do this with me? Now?'

'Yeah, who else? You are my best friend, and you know the clubs in this area in-side-out. I don't think my mum will allow me to spend nights out when the new semester starts. Let's just go to a club now and get laid!'

Trunks froze, watching Goten grinning like an idiot. Indeed, his best friend never ceased to surprise him. So because he can't get it up when he's supposed to have sex with a girl, he will just have sex with a girl while it's up. OK, that makes perfect sense—for an idiot like Goten. And he wants me to take him to a club to check up the girls. No, I am not the least bit disappointed,. Trunks told himself. 'Fine, we will go after everyone is asleep.'

End of Ch 1