A KISS TO REMEMBER

by Donna McIntosh

Agent? Traitor? Resistance worker? Murderer? Will the real Alex Krycek please stand up.

Title: A KISS TO REMEMBER

Author: X-Files

Pairing: Skinner/Krycek

Genre: Slash

Rating: FRAO NC-17

Warning: M/M sex scene

Beta: Many thanks to Ursula!

Disclaimer: These characters belong to Chris Carter. I just let them have a little more fun than he did.

Summary: Agent? Traitor? Resistance worker? Will the real Alex Krycek please stand up!

A KISS TO REMEMBER

He heard the sounds from far away as if in a dream; the rumbling of thunder, things falling, voices calling out. Two nearby were arguing.

"Come on. We've got to go!"

"I can't leave him."

"He's a goner and we will be too if we don't get out of here."

"Help me then; help me carry him."

"We'll never make it carrying him."

"I'm NOT leaving him."

"He's dead already!"

"Go on then. I'm staying with him."

"Strict orders; you are not to be left behind under any circumstances."

"Help me then. Give me your jacket. We'll rig a sling to carry him."

The argument seemed to be over. He tried to open his eyes but couldn't. The noise was louder now. He could hear wood splintering; things falling.

"Jesus Christ! Let's get out of here!"

"Grab on. Wait for the next explosion then we go."

He was aware of movement then, but only because he had been able to crack one eyelid halfway open. Things all around him seemed to be moving; going by him in spurts and stops.

"Over there! By that wall."

"He'll never make it! And he's killing any chance of US making it!"

"Go ahead then. Leave!"

"Shit! What is this guy to you anyway?"

"He's important and I'm not leaving him here."

Another explosion shook the ground but he didn't feel it or the dirt and debris that fell across him. He closed his eye against the burning smoke. The noises continued with lessening volume until they were but a rumble in the distance. He chanced the opening of his eye again but saw only a bright white light; then nothing.

He drew a deep breath filling his lungs with oxygen. He listened for sound but there was none. He worked hard at it and finally got his eyes to open. Getting them to focus was something else again. He had no other awareness except for what he could see and hear and right now that was not much.

After several moments blinking he managed to clear his focus enough to see he was in a small room; grey-green walls and indirect lighting coming from somewhere beyond his sight range. He heard voices again but they were far away. Everything was calm so he closed his eyes again and drifted off to welcome sleep.

The next time he woke he felt movement around him. He was being moved onto a gurney and rolling down a long hall. He tried to make his lips move; tried to form words but nothing came out. The two pushing the gurney were speaking but in a language he didn't know; and didn't recognize.

Another joined them when the movement stopped. He knew this one; recognized the voice. He couldn't see him but he knew that voice. It was Alex Krycek.

"Thank you; thank you," he was saying. Another joined them and it took him a few minutes listening to the voices before he recognized him. Jeremiah Smith. Krycek stepped closer and he could see him now; the light shining off the leather jacket. He was clasping Smith's hand; shaking it.

"I knew you could do it! I knew it! Krycek was saying.

Smith smiled back and warned, "He's not out of the woods yet but he'll live. It'll be up to him how much use he gets back out of his body. I wish we could stay longer but we're needed in 3rd Quadrant."

"I understand. I heard things are getting pretty dicey over there."

"He's going to need constant care. Have you got someone to look after him?"

"Yes; it's all set. I've got Dr. Simmons and Nurse Kelly for the next two weeks. By then he should be able to move around and just need some physical therapy and I've arranged to take several weeks off. I told the old man that I needed further surgery on the arm and some time to recuperate after that."

"Ok then; he's all yours. I'll check back if I can."

"Thanks, Smith. I owe you."

There was movement then into another smaller room.

"Just keep up the good work. I'll be in touch."

Krycek was standing closer now beside the gurney looking down at him.

"Hey, you're awake? Good. You ready to go for a little ride? It's like a long elevator ride – going down; only a little faster."

He felt nothing but a slight lightheadedness and then rain was spattering on his face.

Krycek let out a soft curse and leaned over him shielding him from the rain.

"Damn! Over here. Hurry!"

An ambulance backed up to them and two got out and loaded the gurney. Krycek climbed into the back with them. They drove in silence for a time; the vibration of the road lulled him back to sleep.

He came awake when the vehicle stopped with a jerk. He opened his eyes to darkness.

"It's all right. We're here now. You'll be inside all nice and warm in just a few minutes." He heard Krycek's voice but couldn't see him in the darkness.

He heard the sound of a large metal gate swinging open; the ambulance drove through and the squeak and groan as the gate closed behind them. A short drive and they stopped; got out and hustled him inside. He couldn't make out much but the building was large with long corridors and an elevator.

The next several days blurred into one another. People came in and out of his room, tending to him. He slept mostly. He was warm and comfortable, with thoughts just skittering around the edges of his consciousness now and then; none too deep. He did begin to wonder where he was and why these people were hovering around him.

He had no idea how long he'd been there when he saw Krycek again. He tried to speak to him but no words came out.

"How are you feeling, Skinner?" Krycek was smiling down at him. It gave him an uneasy feeling seeing Krycek standing over him but he was unable to make his mouth work to ask any questions.

"He's awake; why can't he talk?" Krycek asked over his shoulder to the doctor standing near by.

"It's the medication. It keeps him completely immobile. Nothing moves, including lips and vocal cords."

"Can't you lessen it just enough so that he can at least speak?" Krycek asked.

"I could but it would also lessen his comfort level."

Krycek cut his eyes back to Skinner. He could tell by Skinner's frantic eye movements that he understood.

"Do it," Krycek said then added, "And if he becomes too uncomfortable we can always up it again."

"There's one more thing to consider," the doctor added. "He has at least another week of total immobility. If we lessen his medication, he'll be trying to move."

"What about restraints? Wouldn't that work?" Krycek offered.

"It would have to be total."

"That would be acceptable." He glanced at Skinner and felt like he saw approval in his rapidly blinking eyes.

The doctor and nurse conferred and she left the room returning a few minutes later with a full set of restraints. She set about hooking them up to the bed, across Skinner's legs, hips, chest, shoulders and wrists. Then a head restraint was added on either side of Skinner's head with straps across his forehead and chin. The doctor then made an adjustment on the valve on the IV tubing.

"How long will it take?" Krycek asked the doctor.

"It should take about half an hour," the doctor answered.

Krycek looked down at Skinner. "I'm going to go grab something to eat. I haven't eaten since yesterday. I'll be back shortly and we'll talk." He put a hand on Skinner's shoulder then added, "For God's sake, whatever you do, DON'T try to move!"

A slight dip in Skinner's eyes seemed to signify agreement.

Twenty minutes later Krycek turned into the hall outside Skinner's room and saw the nurse standing there, wringing her hands.

"What's wrong?" he asked, worried that something had happened.

"Oh, I'm so glad you're back, Mr. Krycek. He's talking and talking and I can't understand a word he's saying!"

"OK, ok. I'll take care of it. Why don't you go on break now? I'll call you if I need you." He could hear a muffled slurring stream of 'words' coming from Skinner.

He closed the door behind her, twisted the lock, and pulled a stool up next to the bed and sat down.

"Hold on now, Skinner; hold on. Listen to me a minute."

Skinner quieted.

"First of all; you are still heavily medicated and you're slurring your words. I can't understand a thing you're saying. You need to speak slowly, think about forming your words carefully. I'll stay here and answer all your questions but you need to take it slowly. You got that?"

Skinner grunted.

"Think about it and then form the word you want to say."

"Y E S," Skinner struggled to get out.

"Good. I understood that."

"Where am I? What happened?" Skinner managed to ask slowly; concentrating on each word.

"You are in the infirmary at Sisters of Charity Home for Boys in Springfield, Ohio. You were in an explosion."

"Sisters…why? Explosion?"

"You're here at Sisters of Charity because it's the safest place for you right now. You entered a building seconds before it blew and collapsed on you."

"How serious?"

"Serious." Krycek answered.

"How bad?"

"The most important thing here is that you're going to recover, as long as you follow doctor's orders, you should have a full recovery."

"What injuries?"

"A lot."

"Back? Neck?"

"Both."

"Both? Fractures?"

"Uh huh."

"Which?"

"Both."

"Broken neck, back? Chances slim to none."

"Under normal circumstances you would be right; but these were not normal circumstances."

Skinner squeezed his eyes shut refusing to allow the frightening thoughts to enter.

"Circumstances?" He asked, his voice barely a hoarse whisper.

"Yeah; Jeremiah Smith."

"Smith?" The memory of Smith's voice came back to him with a trickle of hope.

"Yeah. He was there."

"I have a chance then?"

"Yeah. You'll be fine as long as you follow doctor's orders." He gave Skinner what he hoped was a reassuring grin.

Skinner stared at him but said nothing. Dread and fear enveloped him. He was completely vulnerable and in the hands of someone he had known to be his enemy. He had to wonder why Krycek was helping him now.

"You think you can do that? Follow doctor's orders?"

"Not much choice. Don't remember explosion. What happened? Anyone else hurt?"

"No one else was hurt. I don't know how or why you showed up there but I was taking out a complex about 30 miles south of Chicago. I had it all wired, the entire complex, all the buildings and tunnels underneath. We made a sweep of the place to make sure it was empty; even the guards were gone."

"What kind of complex?" Words were coming easier to him now but he still spoke slowly.

"Scientific experiments – alien/human hybrids."

"Why was I there?"

"I don't know. I had just set the whole thing off when I saw out of the corner of my eye, someone enter one of the buildings. I called out but you didn't hear me. Then everything started to blow. I didn't know it was you until we dug you out."

"Didn't know Smith was blowing buildings."

"He's not. It was just me and two other resistance workers. Smith picked us up afterwards."

"Why would he do that?" Skinner asked.

"We were working together on this one. I was in Florida with the old man. He was attending some meeting; I drove him there. Smith picked me up, brought me where I needed to be, I blew the complex, and he returned me to Florida before the meeting ended and I was waiting in the car to pick the old man up when it was over. He never knew I was gone and he's my alibi if anyone starts asking questions."

"So why a boy's home?"

"This is where I grew up."

"Here?"

"Uh huh. It's a great place really. The people are wonderful."

Skinner stared at him a few minutes then asked, "What else?"

"What else? What do you mean?"

"There's more you're not telling me. What else is wrong?"

"You sustained more injuries than neck and back."

"I knew there was more." He stared off in the distance and steeled himself to meet Krycek's eyes again. "I want it all."

"And you'll get it all; every bit of information on your condition; what happened, what Smith did for you and what is going to be done in the coming weeks to get you totally back to normal." He stopped for a breath and to see how Skinner was reacting.

"Go on; condition first, then Smith, then the rest." He seemed a little more alert now, like he'd gotten a second breath.

"You don't want to hear the really good news that I have first?" Krycek teased.

"Condition first. Don't leave anything out." He tried his best AD glare.

"OK. Prepare yourself," he paused for a heartbeat then continued, "You broke just about every bone in your body as well as extensive internal damage."

The shock in the dark eyes came across as a grimace. "That's impossible. No one could live through all that."

"You're right. No one could have unless Jeremiah Smith and his group were there to take over within minutes of the injuries.

They were both silent for a moment. Then Skinner asked, "He put me all back together? Fixed everything?"

"Yes. All internal organs were repaired/regenerated and all broken bones fused back together, good as new."

"Then why am I flat on my back, unable to move?"

"Even miracles take a little time, Walter. Nerve damage takes a little longer to repair."

"Nerve damage?"

"Neck and spinal cord injuries need more time to regenerate. Smith says 6 weeks minimum."

Skinner did some figuring in his head. "I've been here about a week; you said I had another week to go; so where was I the four weeks before you brought me here? The explosion was five weeks ago?"

"I see your mind is functioning properly." Krycek teased.

"You were with Smith and his group. He had to leave the area so he got in touch with me and I took over your care."

"Yeah, I remember; 3rd quadrant. I heard that. What the hell is 3rd quadrant anyway?"

"It's just the 3rd section of an area they are watching."

Skinner thought about that for a while then asked, "So in another week I can just get up and walk away from all this?"

"Not exactly."

"I knew there was a catch! What is it? I'm going to be a cripple; wheelchair bound for the rest of my life?" Horror etched deep lines in his face.

"No; not at all. It's just that after 6 weeks of immobility, your muscles are going to protest when you start using them again."

"I remember in 8th grade I fell off the bleachers at school and broke my leg. I was in a cast for 6 weeks. When I got the cast off, the leg hurt like hell to walk on it."

"That's about it. Now multiply that over your entire body and you'll have a pretty good idea what you'll be facing."

"SHIT!"

"Yeah; shit; but it sure beats the alternative and it's something you can get through. With regular massages and exercises you'll be back to your old self before you know it."

"If I remember correctly, it took me a couple of months to get back to normal."

"I'm not saying it's going to be easy but it won't take that long if you follow doctor's orders; massages and exercises three times a day. And Smith left some pain pills for when you first get started."

"I won't need them. I'm not in any pain."

"You will be when you start moving around. That's not something we have to worry about right now."

"What is?" A trickle of fear and suspicion seeped through him.

"Nothing. All you have to concentrate on right now is not moving and getting through the next week."

"Why aren't I in a regular hospital?"

"They would need to know the extent of your injuries, where you were treated, who your doctor was – all questions that we can't answer."

"So I'm in a boy's home." Skinner was silent for a time; digesting all the information.

"So are you ready to hear the good news now?" Krycek asked with a grin.

"I thought that was the good news – that I wouldn't end up in a wheelchair?"

"Well that IS good news but there's more; really GREAT news!"

"I could use some great news about now. Let's hear it."

"That complex we took out? It turns out it wasn't just another experimental complex; it was their main headquarters."

"That IS good."

"Good? It's great! What it means is this particular war with these aliens is over and WE won!"

"What makes you think they won't come back? You said no one was in the complex at the time. They might just start up again elsewhere."

"From the information we were to gather and decode; this group was controlled by a central 'brain', taking in information and giving out instructions. Without constant contact with the 'brain', the individuals become confused and within 72 hours cease to exist."

"And this 'brain' was destroyed? This happened…5 weeks ago; they should all be – gone?"

"That's about it. They have been dropping like flies; disappearing all over the place."

"It's over then? No more aliens?"

"None from this particular race; not in our lifetime anyway. They were the biggest threat to humanity though with their plans for colonization and experiments with cross-species hybridization. The other alien races are all being monitored and pose no immediate threat."

"That's comforting," Skinner said with just a bit of sarcasm.

"That's enough for today. You need to rest; sleep." Krycek stood to leave the room.

"No, wait! I have more questions."

"Later. I'll be back. You need to rest now."

"What about the bureau? Where do they think I am?"

"Personal leave. Family emergency."

"I don't have a family."

"You have a brother and sister in law in Seattle; two nephews and a niece."

"How the hell do you know all that?"

"I know a lot of things about a lot of people. It's my job."

"Your job sucks!"

"Now THERE we agree completely!" Krycek chuckled as he stood and fiddled with the IV.

"What are you doing?" Skinner asked.

"Upping your meds again so you can sleep."

"NO! I don't want to sleep!" Skinner protested.

"You need to. Doctor's orders."

"How do you know you can trust this doctor?"

"He's part of Smith's group; so's the nurse."

"I don't like them."

"It's either them or me. Who do you trust more?"

"Neither. What are you doing?" His speech was becoming slurred again.

"Taking off your restraints. You won't need them while you're sleeping. Doctor says they shouldn't be used more than an hour at a time. Sleep now. When you wake up I'll be here and we can talk some more."

"Notsleepy," he slurred as his eyes drifted closed.

By the time Krycek removed the head restraints Skinner was sound asleep.

Six hours later Krycek again lowered the medication on Skinner's IV and began replacing the restraints. Dark eyes flickered open; some garbled words were slurred.

"Wait a minute or two; speak slowly so I can understand you."

"Told you I wasn't sleepy."

"You slept six hours." Krycek assured him.

"Six?" Skinner thought about that for a minute. "Thought you changed your mind and came back?"

"Nope. Now you see why it's so important to keep you medicated. And I promise you, these meds are safe and non-addictive."

"Good! When do I get off of them?"

"One more week. Then we change to a different med. It will be mainly muscle relaxants and pain pills."

"No pain pills." Skinner insisted.

"Skinner, you've got to do this my way. You go without the pain pills and it'll take you a lot longer to get back on your feet. Is that what you want? You want your recovery to drag out over a period of months? Or would you rather get it over with in a few weeks?"

"Don't like pain pills. They make me sleepy and dizzy."

"Not these. These are some of Smith's; guaranteed no side effects. There will still be some discomfort but not enough to keep you from doing the necessary exercises. I'll be here with you to help you with those and the massages."

"No choice then?" Skinner resigned himself to losing another argument.

"None. We are going to follow Smith's orders to the letter. It's the quickest and safest way to get you back on your feet. That's the important thing here; isn't it?"

Skinner didn't answer and that in itself was his consent.

"I have questions."

"OK. I'll answer what I can."

"How long have you been working for the resistance and does the old man know?"

"I have been working with them from the beginning. I helped set it up. No, the old man doesn't know and I plan to keep it that way."

"What happens if he finds out?"

Krycek couldn't stop the little shudder that passed through his body. "Let's just say that if that happened; there would be nothing that Smith could do to save me."

Skinner stared at him for several seconds before asking, "Why do you do it then?"

"It needs doing. I don't exactly see a long line of volunteers here."

"So what happens now; now that the aliens are out of business? Does the resistance just fade away?"

"I wish! It would be great if they weren't needed any longer; but they are. They will continue monitoring all alien activity to make sure that all the hot spots are covered and that nothing like this last race gets a foothold here on earth again."

"And you're part of that?"

"Uh huh. I'm available to them whenever I'm needed; for whatever they need."

"That doesn't sound like the Alex Krycek that I know."

"That's the Alex Krycek that you were meant to know."

"I don't understand."

"I have many jobs, Skinner. One was FBI agent; bright-eyed, eager and naïve. Another was deserter, assassin and traitor. Another is doing the work that Smith and his group need done. I am all of those things. I do them all."

"So which one is the real Alex Krycek?"

"They all are. It's all me. I do what needs doing. A lot of the time my job sucks! Every once in a while, I get to do something I like; then it doesn't."

A small knock on the door interrupted their conversation. Alex stood to answer and said, "I almost forgot. I have someone who wants to meet you. She runs this place, so be nice!" He grinned over his shoulder as he clicked the door unlocked and opened it.

A woman, 50ish, stood there; plain clothed, dark hair streaked with grey, pulled back with a rubber band at the back of her neck. Her most outstanding feature was her great smile that struck her face with an inner beauty that was stunning. This woman would stand out in any crowd; grace, stamina and forthrightness personified.

"Sister Mary Louise. Please come in." Alex pulled the door back and she entered the room; walking directly to Skinner.

"Thank you, Alexander," she said looking down at Skinner. "I'm Sister Mary Louise; how are you feeling? I understand you can talk now?"

"Skinner, this is Sister Mary Louise." Krycek interjected.

"Nice to meet you. I'm feeling fine, thank you."

"Good! Alexander is taking good care of you then?" She patted the back of his hand laying limply on the bed at his side.

"Yes. Yes he is." Skinner cut is eyes to Krycek then back.

"I knew he would. Alexander has always been a good boy. Do you need anything? Anything at all that I can do for you?"

"No, nothing, thank you."

"What about you, Alexander? Are you eating? You look way to thin for my liking."

"EVERYONE is too thin for your liking, Sister." Krycek chuckled.

"Well, you need to eat. They tell me in the cafeteria that you only come in once or twice a day to eat. You need at least three meals, Alexander. Three healthy meals. I know you have time restraints on your activities but you need to take the time to eat right; it's important."

She turned back to Skinner. "I'm very happy that I got to meet you and I praise God that your health is returning."

"I should be out of here before long." Skinner assured her.

"Now don't you worry about that. You're welcome to stay here as long as you like. It's a true gift to all of us here when Alexander comes and stays with us a while. He doesn't come visit us nearly as often as he should!" She sent Krycek a scathing look softened with adoration then added, "I'll take my leave now and get back to my duties. You rest well," she patted Skinner's leg and she headed for the door. "And you," she nodded to Krycek, "We could stand to see more of you in chapel!" She pointed a finger at him and left the room.

Krycek locked the door behind her, took a deep breath and turned back to Skinner with a grin. "She's something else; isn't she?"

"She is that. You come here often?" Skinner chuckled to himself, realizing it sounded like a pick up line.

"As she said; not as often as I should." He resumed his seat on the stool beside the bed.

"You've known her a long time?"

"Since I was 8. My first day here was her first day here. We sorta bonded, I guess. Now she's running the place."

"And you're stopping by now and then with broken bodies that need healing?"

"Only occasionally. I do try and get out here when I can. I have to be careful though. I don't want the old man to come here looking for me."

"She always call you Alexander?"

"Except when I was in trouble; then it was Mr. Krycek." He winced at the memory.

"You in trouble? Why do I find that hard to believe?" Skinner grinned at the thought and wondered just what trouble an 8 year old Krycek had gotten into.

"Yeah, I know it's hard to believe as I'm so mild mannered now a days." He grinned.

"She have a ruler? I understand all these sisters carry rulers and use them when needed."

"She didn't need one. She'd grab me by the ear and twist and send me to chapel to pray."

"Ouch." Skinner grinned at the thought of a small boy kneeling at prayer; tears streaming down his cheeks, one ear red from pinching."

"I never would have made it without her. She got me through some tough times."

"I'll bet she could." Skinner agreed thinking that Sister Mary Louise reminded him of his own mother. He wondered what Krycek's mother was like and if he remembered her.

"She kind of took over where my mother left off." Krycek said as if reading Skinner's thoughts.

"What happened to your folks? How'd you end up here?"

"They died when I was 8. There were no other living relatives." That seemed to be all the answer he wanted to give so Skinner didn't press. He made a mental note to look up the cause of their deaths once he got back to work.

The next several days were filled with sleep interrupted by hour long conversations with Skinner strapped into restraints. He didn't complain though; at least not too much. He spent most of his waking hours trying to think of questions he wanted to ask Krycek. Some he got answers to; others just got avoided; talked around; some were met with a "I can't answer that. Next question?"

Krycek talked about his childhood at the home and Skinner offered up his experiences growing up on a farm. They pretty much stayed away from their current work experiences.

Before he realized it, his last day in restraints was there. The doctor had a long talk with him, described all the exercises and massages and outlined the entire program for him. He was going to stay long enough to demonstrate the techniques then he would be on his way and the rest of the hard work would be up to the two of them.

The eager excitement when the last restraint was removed was quickly overcome by a flash of pain consuming his entire body as he tried to move for the first time. It was only at that moment that he actually faced the fact that he had broken nearly every bone in his body. Everything hurt with a pain that astonished him.

He tried to move; his hands and arms first and could barely manage a tremble; his shoulders next, and then a stretch of the legs. Every movement was met with fiery pain.

He had moved only a fraction of an inch when he gave up, exhausted and breathing heavy from exertion. He laid there a picture of defeat and frustration.

The doctor began the massages which seemed to only aggravate his discomfort. He gritted his teeth and hissed out a breath as the doctor raised his arm and began working the muscles.

Wordlessly the doctor reached over and adjusted the valve on the IV tubing. "We're going to keep you on these meds, minimal dosage, for a few days. I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but each day you will get stronger." He crossed around to the other side of the bed and massaged the other arm; then kneaded the shoulder muscles, down the chest, sides and hips; then on to the legs.

Krycek came up to the bed and took Skinner's hand; Skinner held on for dear life; grimacing in pain.

"Just hold on, Skinner. You can do this."

"Help me roll him over." The doctor asked after he finished with the legs. He pulled the hospital gown down off the shoulders and arms and began working on the back muscles.

Skinner groaned though he tried as hard as he could, not to.

Krycek stood by still gripping Skinner's hand and said, "Almost finished, Skinner. Keep in mind, that this is the worst it will be. Each session will be a little bit easier from now on."

"Let's move him back now." The doctor said after finishing up. They rolled him over and he was gasping with pain and sweating profusely from exhaustion. The doctor went on, "I know you're in pain now but you'll feel better after a clean up. I'll send Nurse Kelly in to bathe you; or if you prefer, Mr. Krycek can help you?"

Skinner rolled his eyes up to meet Krycek's.

"I can do it, Skinner," Krycek assured him.

"Krycek," Skinner said closing his eyes and still trying to catch his breath.

"OK then; I'll go get things ready and be right back," Krycek said as he left the room.

"You're in good hands with Mr. Krycek. I've seen him work before and he knows what he's doing. You just follow his lead and you'll be back on your feet in no time." A pat on Skinner's leg and the doctor was gone.

Skinner lay there alone in the room; gingerly trying to move fingers and toes. The slightest movements of hands and arms brought the pain back so he laid still and tried to catch his breath and assess the situation.

Krycek came back in and set about bathing him. Skinner said not a word; just stared at the ceiling. When finished, Krycek pulled the blankets up around Skinner, patted his shoulder and said, "You can get through this, I promise," and left the room.

Tears rolled down his cheeks and he managed with great difficulty to turn his head enough to wipe them on his pillow. His last thoughts before he fell asleep were of disappointment, resentment and frustration. He had been so sure that once the restraints were removed that he would be able to move; to do for himself. Feelings of helplessness overwhelmed him as he dozed off.

The next week was filled with painful exercises; massages before and after and lots of cursing. Krycek was a hard task-master and forced Skinner to continue over and over again when he was ready to quit. During quiet times, they talked. Skinner talked about retiring and getting a place out in the country away from city noises and smells and traffic. He was going to plant a vegetable garden and maybe a few rose bushes around the place. His mother had loved roses and he told of digging the holes for all the bushes she planted along their driveway. She had alternated red and white roses the entire length and was rightfully proud of the display throughout Spring and Summer. He wasn't sure he wanted to plant that many but he thought it would be nice to have a few bushes around.

Krycek also talked of retiring one day. If he came to a time where his services were no longer needed, he would go to Smith and have his arm restored and then disappear somewhere where no one would ever find him. That was his dream; to be as far away from the action as possible; someplace to rest and relax and maybe make a life for himself. He hadn't decided where that would be yet; whether it would be up in the mountains in the cool fresh air or on the beach somewhere he could swim every day, or maybe a penthouse apartment with room service. He was sure of one thing though; he was going to have a dog. He had always wanted one and that was going to be his retirement gift to himself.

By the end of the first week, Skinner was able to move his arms and legs without too much discomfort and was finally beginning to see some improvement in his condition which helped his disposition considerably. He was now co-operative with the exercises though he was still in pain but able to grit his teeth and get through it with little or no cursing at all. Krycek kept him on a tight schedule every eight hours, round the clock; massage, exercise, massage, clean up and nap. Small soft meals were added to provide nourishment and strength. He kept it all going with promises of 'real food' as soon as Skinner could get up and walk to the connecting bathroom. That was 'carrot' enough to dangle in front of him as he was starving! He couldn't remember when or what his last 'real' meal was and he was getting darn tired of: broth, jello, applesauce, juice etc.

By the end of the second week he was able to use the control on the side of the bed to raise himself up to a sitting position, swing his legs over the side and help with his own personal care. He waited anxiously for Krycek to show up for his next session as he had promised they would try letting him stand.

Krycek came in leading the gardener. "Good morning," he said cheerfully. "This is my friend Marty. He's the grounds keeper here." And to Marty he said, "Marty, this is the friend I was telling you about."

"Hi! You're Alexander's friend? So am I!" The 40ish man in grimy overalls, grinned at Skinner. "My shoes are dirty but Alexander says it's ok. I'm just gonna help you if you fall down. I fall down sometimes but I can get back up by myself," he said proudly.

"Marty has been here since before I came. We used to play baseball together right out there in that field." Krycek pointed to the window by Skinner's bed.

"Are your parents in heaven too?" Marty asked Skinner.

"Yes they are, Marty. I appreciate you coming in here to help out." Skinner answered.

"I like to help people." Marty grinned.

"Well let's get to it then, shall we?" Krycek said smiling at seeing Skinner sitting on the side of the bed and ready for whatever the day might bring. "Marty, you come over here and stand on this side of him." Marty did as he was told. "Put your left arm around his waist and your right hand under his elbow, like this." Krycek mirrored the movements on the other side of Skinner. "You ready?" He asked Skinner.

"Yes!" Skinner answered with a little more assurance than he felt. He eased himself off the edge of the bed, being supported on either side by strong arms. He was un-prepared for the jolt of pain that shot up through the bottoms of his feet, burned its way up the back of both legs and up his spine.

A grunt escaped his lips and he held on to the two men for dear life; his legs like fiery rubber refusing to hold him. He sat back down quickly; very disappointed.

"That was great! You stood for almost a minute!" Krycek praised him.

Skinner gasped for air and cringed at the compliment.

"Rest a minute then we'll try again." Krycek offered.

All Skinner wanted to do was to lie back down and forget all about walking. He didn't need this, he wasn't ready, it hurt too much; he told himself a lot of things but when Krycek reached out for him and said, "Ready?" he slid off the bed again.

A million fiery needles jabbed at his muscles; his feet hurt, his knees hurt and his hips were screaming at him. He stood there, wobbly as he was and straightened up; grinning at Krycek face to face.

"I knew you could do it!" Krycek grinned and helped him sit back down. "Marty, that's all the help we need for right now. We might try it again later; OK?"

"OK. I helped; didn't I?" Marty asked proudly.

"You sure did, Marty." Krycek said patting him on the back as he walked him to the door.

"Thanks, Marty. I couldn't have done it without your help." Skinner said to the smiling man leaving the room.

"You did good, Skinner." Krycek smiled at him after closing and locking the door.

"Oh yeah, I did good all right. I stood for one minute!" His legs, hips and back still tingled painfully from the exertion.

"How good could you have done last week at this time?" Krycek asked as he approached the bed.

Skinner thought about it a minute, remembering the previous week. "I couldn't even have gotten my legs over the side." He answered truthfully.

"That's right. And yet today, you stood!"

"I get your message. I'm just anxious." Skinner leaned back against the pillows.

"That's certainly understandable. But I'm excited about your progress even if you are not!"

Skinner managed a grin and stared at the bathroom doorway.

"You'll get there; by the end of this week; I promise."

"Never thought I'd see the day where I'd be yearning just to go sit on a toilet!"

Krycek chuckled, "When that day comes, we can get rid of all these tubes. Then we can start getting some good food in you and you'll get your strength back in a matter of days."

"I'll have to take your word for that," Skinner answered skeptically.

"I've been right about everything else; haven't I?"

"Yeah; and that in itself is a little scary." Skinner admitted.

"You'll do fine. We've got three more weeks and we're right on schedule. As long as we keep after it, we'll make it."

"You really think so?" Skinner's fatigue made him doubtful.

"I know so; from personal experience."

Skinner's eyes snapped up to Krycek's. "You've had the same injuries?"

"Almost identical. Mine wasn't an explosion though. It was a cave in; a tunnel collapsed on me. I was actually dead for several minutes they tell me." He couldn't help but shudder at the memory.

"So you do know what I'm going through."

"I do. Exactly. And I know you're going to make it because we won't have it any other way!"

The improvements the next week were rapid. He was now able to feed himself, shave himself and help even more with his daily clean-ups. By the end of the week he was taking steps with Krycek walking backwards in front of him and his hands resting on Krycek's shoulders for support. On Friday he achieved his goal and made it the dozen or so steps to the bathroom. They cheered as he sat down on the toilet to rest for a minute before heading back to his bed.

"I did it! I made it!" He was breathing heavily by the time he made it back to his bed but that didn't' dampen his feelings of accomplishment.

"You sure did! I think that deserves lunch! I mean a real lunch. What do you say?"

"Real food? Bring it on! As long as it's something that I can chew I'll be happy."

"That's what I was thinking. I'll find out what they're serving. If none of it sounds interesting to you I can order something brought in."

"Anything they're serving will be all right." Skinner eagerly agreed.

"OK. I'll see that we get some lunch served in here." Krycek pulled out his cell phone and called to the cafeteria and ordered two lunches brought in. "Salisbury steak, macaroni and cheese, green beans and peach pie; how does that sound?"

"Like heaven!"

"It isn't exactly Cordon Bleu but its food."

"I can hardly wait." Skinner leaned back in his bed with a smile on his face, eagerly awaiting the taste of real food again.

"You think you'll be able to make it back and forth to the bathroom now?"

"Oh, hell yes! That's right! Now I can get this tube out, right?"

"That's what I was thinking. I was also thinking that tomorrow you could take a real bath if you want. There's a nice big old cast iron tub in there. A good hot soak will do wonders for you."

"A bath! That sounds wonderful. Can we do it today?"

"Tomorrow would be better. That will give you some more practice at walking and another day's strength."

"OK; tomorrow. I can live with that." Skinner agreed.

His last day there came and he sat anxiously on the side of is bed waiting for Krycek to come for him. He watched the kids outside his window playing baseball a short distance away. Boys of all ages from about 5 to 15 or so were out there screaming and yelling and having a great time. One small boy of about 6 or 7 sat in his wheel-chair watching the game cheering like mad.

He saw Krycek then, walking out on the field. He crouched by the boy in the wheel-chair for a few minutes then picked him up and carried him up to the batter's box. He conversed a few minutes with the other kids then stood the boy, legs in braces, at home plate, bent over him and helped him hold the bat. It took two swings before the two of them managed to connect with the ball and sent it in a long low line drive out between second and third bases. Krycek picked the boy up, placed him on his shoulders and trotted around the bases; the boy squealing and cheering all the way, pumping his little fists in the air.

This was not the Alex Krycek that he knew. Not this smiling, laughing man; playing with the kids, tousling their hair and chatting with them. A lump rose in his throat as he watched them; thinking how at home Krycek seemed here and how beloved he was by all. Krycek waved good-bye to the boys and started inside when he was stopped by Marty. They talked for a minute then Krycek walked with Marty over to where he was planting some yellow flowers beside the driveway. Krycek admired them, chatted a few minutes, patted Marty on the shoulder then headed on inside.

A short rap on his door and he called, "Come in."

Sister Mary Louise walked in, her hands folded in front of her; her face radiant in smile.

"Alexander tells me you're leaving this evening?"

"That's right. I don't know how I'll ever be able to thank you for letting me stay here."

"A simple thank you will suffice. All I ask in return is that you take good care of yourself now and if you get the chance; maybe you could look out after Alexander too."

"Did I hear my name mentioned?" Krycek walked into the room.

"She was telling me what a brat you were as a kid." Walter greeted him with a smile.

"I certainly was not!" Sister Mary Louise stamped her foot.

"I'm sure she has some stories she could tell!" Krycek put his arm around her in a half hug.

"I do indeed but I keep them right here in my heart and they are not to be shared nor trifled with!" She pushed him away good naturedly after returning the hug.

"Are you ready to go home?" Krycek asked Skinner.

"Yes!" Skinner answered and slipped into the windbreaker that Krycek had brought him along with a set of clothes.

"You sure you can walk that far?" Krycek asked.

"If he can't walk that far, he has no business leaving!" Sister Mary Louise offered.

"I can walk. Just not all that fast." Skinner answered.

"Ok. We'll take it slow." Krycek said and reached for a real hug this time from Sister Mary Louise. "Thank you again, Sweetie Pie."

"That's Sister to you, Mr. Krycek!" She hugged him back. "Don't wait so long for your next visit, Alexander. The holidays are coming up. Are you going to come play Santa again for us?" They walked down the corridor to the elevator.

"I don't know, Honey. If I can, I will. You could always get Marty to play Santa." He offered as they all got into the elevator.

"We did use him that one year, but he wanted to play with all the toys; he didn't want to give them to the kids!" She laughed. "Oh, and if you think about it; that electric train you got him last year? He broke the transformer."

The elevator doors opened and they headed out the front door.

"I'll get him a new set for Christmas and I'll send along a spare transformer. You can stash it somewhere for him."

"Thank you, Alexander. I'll do that. You're such a good boy!" She patted his cheek.

Krycek heaved an embarrassed sigh as he caught the mirth in Skinner's eye.

"Thank you again, Sister; for everything." Skinner held out his hand and she took it in both of hers and squeezed.

"You are most welcome. You will remember what we talked about?"

"Yeah, I remember. You were telling me what a brat Alexander was." He grinned.

"I most certainly did not!" She shook a finger at him.

"I'll remember; I promise." He assured her and climbed into the car.

"I thought you said you'd never tell!" Krycek teased her.

"Oh you're just awful! You both need to go spend a little time in chapel!" She laughed back at him as he crossed over and got into the car.

"I don't think any amount of time in chapel is going to help me; do you?" Krycek asked Skinner as they drove away.

"Probably not either of us." Skinner answered.

They drove for nearly an hour before Skinner questioned their destination. "So where are we headed? Is there an air port out here?" He glanced around at the farms along the mostly deserted highway, their car having long ago left the busy city streets.

"No. Not any of the kind you're used to. I don't want anyone to be able to trace you back here to Springfield. This will be a lot faster and a lot more comfortable for you. You can even lie down and rest if you want."

Skinner stared at him, not knowing what his next question should be. Krycek pulled off the main road onto a side road and drove for a few miles off into the woods. A short time on a dirt road took them deep into a forested area where he stopped the car.

A flicker of fear leapt through Skinner; was he being led into a trap? After all that time taking care of him, would Krycek lead him out here just to finish him off? He was immediately ashamed of himself when he saw Jeremiah Smith walking towards them out of the trees. They got out of the car.

"Well, you're looking a lot better than the last time I saw you!" He said reaching for Skinner's hand.

"I understand that I have you to thank for that." Skinner shook his hand.

Smith and Krycek exchanged a brief hug and the three of them headed off in the direction that Smith came from.

"So, how's 3rd quadrant? You need me over there?" Krycek asked as they walked.

"No, it's pretty much settled down now though we do have another favor or two to ask of you."

"Whatever I can do; you know that," Krycek assured him.

They walked out into the middle of a small clearing and stopped. "Ready?" Smith asked.

"For what?" Skinner asked before he was blinded by a bright white light. He raised his arm to shield his eyes and tried to look away. He felt a moment of disorientation then he was standing on a platform in a small room. He looked from Smith to Krycek in stunned silence as they headed for the doorway out of the room.

"Hey, you coming?" Krycek asked over his shoulder.

"Where the hell are we! What just happened?" Skinner followed in a daze.

"You need to sit down? Lie down?" Krycek asked as they walked.

"Where are we going?"

"Just down here a ways to Medical. It's not far." Smith answered as they turned into another room.

"He just wants to check you out. So he can brag about his good work." Krycek teased.

"Do you mind?" Smith asked and motioned Skinner over to the examining table.

"Of course not," Skinner agreed and got up on the table.

Smith flipped on a few switches and looked into a screen recessed into a desk top.

"You've been doing your exercises; I can tell." Smith said.

"I have."

"Good job. Just let me do one more little thing here." He walked over to the table and placed a hand on Skinner's chest and another on his head. He stood like that in silence for a few minutes. Skinner thought at first like he was being prayed over but then he felt a warmth spread throughout his body; an easing of the stiffness; and a feeling of well-being.

Smith stood back and reached a hand to help Skinner sit up. "I've done all I can. Now it's up to you to stay out of buildings that are in the process of being blown up." He smiled.

Skinner got down off the table; still holding Smith's hand. "I want to say thank you but it seems so insignificant compared to what you did for me."

"You're quite welcome, Mr. Skinner." He patted Skinner on the shoulder and left the room.

"You ready to go home?" Krycek asked.

"Yes. I feel really good. Most of the stiffness is gone. I'm looking forward to the drive."

They went back down the corridor to the first room and stood next to each other in the center. The light flashed and they were standing in a forest clearing again.

"What the hell was that? Where are we?" Skinner asked looking all around for some logical explanation for what he had just experienced. They were in a clearing again, but it wasn't the same one.

"It's called a descent. Pretty cool, huh?"

They followed a path that led to a road where a car stood waiting. They got in and Krycek drove off.

"And where are we?" Skinner asked not sure he wanted to hear the answer.

"About 30 miles west of DC. I'll have you home in less than an hour."

"Less than an hour? But…how can that be?"

"Smith has a unique mode of transportation." Was all Krycek had to say.

"Unique?" Skinner asked.

"Uh huh."

They drove on in silence. Before long Skinner was recognizing different landmarks and soon they were on the main highway. Krycek was taking the Crystal City turn off when Skinner asked, "Was I on some sort of…air craft?"

"You could call it that, I guess."

"Shit. For real?"

"For real."

"And you ride around on that thing all the time?"

"I ride around on that thing once in a while."

"I never felt any movement; nothing."

"I know. It's great."

"I don't understand why 'people' like Smith don't share their technology. Just think of all the good that could be accomplished."

"Maybe that good was meant to be accomplished another way."

"I don't understand any of this; but I'm grateful for it."

"Me too."

They drove on in silence and before long they pulled into an alleyway in downtown Crystal City and stopped.

"This is as far as I can take you. I can't afford to be seen near your place. You can drive the rest of the way yourself; it's only a couple miles. I've made arrangements for this car to be picked up and returned. Just leave the keys in the ignition and leave it unlocked."

They both got out of the car and walked around the side.

The two of them stood facing one another half way down the alley; lit only by far off street lights at both ends and an occasional dim security light from the backs of buildings along either side.

They stood staring at one another.

"I don't know how to thank you. Words seem so inadequate right now." Skinner said.

"It's all right," Krycek shook his head in understanding as he stood with both hands jammed into the pockets of his leather jacket.

A dog pattered by them stopping to sniff. Skinner held out the back of his hand to it; it sniffed then ambled on over to a nearby cluster of garbage cans.

"Just take care of yourself. There's no need for you to jump right back into your 16 hour a day work schedule."

Skinner grinned, "You know me so well."

"Just take it easy for a while, is all I'm saying."

"Or you'll report me to Sister Mary Louise?"

A grin split Krycek's face and a small chuckle accompanied it. "She'd show up in your office and send you straight to chapel!"

Skinner laughed and stuck his right hand out. Krycek took it, squeezed and held on.

"Seriously, Walter, take care of yourself."

Skinner swallowed the lump in his throat, shook his head and mumbled, "You too."

In an instant, arms were around each other; temples pressed together, hands were clutching shoulders and backs. Their mouths brushed together briefly. Krycek was pushed backwards a few steps and Skinner had him pressed up against the brick wall; mouths and bodies ground together; Skinner in charge for the first time in weeks. His tongue demanded and was granted entry; probing and sucking; his hands slid up to clasp Krycek's head on either side. They broke for a breath of air and Skinner stepped back.

"I see everything is in working order again." Krycek smiled.

Skinner swallowed hard, enjoying the taste of Alex Krycek on his mouth. A car stopped at the end of the alley and honked; they both looked up.

"I never really knew you at all; did I?" Skinner asked.

Krycek shook his head, no and said, "It's probably better that way." He reached out and squeezed Skinner's arm. "Take care," and then he took off down the alley at a trot towards the waiting car.

"Watch your back!" Skinner called to him and took the few steps back over to the rental car. He turned to look back; Krycek opened the door of the car waiting for him then stopped and looked back. Skinner held up his hand, palm out, fingers splayed. Krycek mirrored the movement, climbed into the car and was whisked away into the city traffic. Skinner stood a moment longer then got in the car and drove home.

It felt weird entering his apartment after so many weeks. He took a quick shower, donned his favorite sweat pants and climbed into bed. He lay there staring at the ceiling and going over the last several weeks. It seemed like a dream and might have been dismissed as one if it wasn't for the dull ache over his entire body. His last thoughts before falling asleep were of Alex Krycek's hard body in his arms, clutching at him, holding him close. Alex Krycek kissing him back in a kiss like none he had ever experienced; definitely a kiss to remember.

The next morning he sat at his desk fending off all the inquiries and trying to get on with all the backed up work his secretary had piled high on his desk. Mulder ambled in and dropped a 302 on his desk. "You OK? You look tired."

Skinner pulled his glasses off and rubbed his eyes; put them back on again and signed the paperwork after scanning it briefly. "You know how many times I've heard that this morning?" He handed the 302 back to Mulder.

"That's it? No questions? You're just going to sign it?" Mulder tried to get him going.

"If I don't OK this; you'll go to Denver anyway; right?"

"Uh huh," Mulder answered truthfully. "Everything points to Denver." He stood to leave then stopped. "Sir? Are you OK?"

"Yeah, I'm fine; just tired; first day back and all." Skinner answered with a swipe of his hand over his bare scalp.

"Your secretary said you had a family emergency. I didn't know you had any family?"

"I have a brother and his family." Skinner drummed his fingers on the desk top.

"One of them was ill? Or were you?"

"Mulder, I'm not comfortable discussing my family with you or anyone else. Everyone is fine now and I'm just tired. You've got your 302 signed. Please – just try and work this one by the book; as a favor to me."

"Sure thing. No problem." Mulder agreed heading for the door then turned back and added, "You've lost some weight. You on a diet?"

"Mulder, are you trying to be more annoying than usual?"

"No, Sir. Uh---why don't you call Scully; have lunch with her. I know she'd love to see you."

"MULDER!"

"OK. I'm out of here. I had to try." He closed the door behind him and Skinner heaved a sigh of relief.

Skinner sat staring at the phone wondering how long it would take before Scully called.

He looked at his watch as the phone rang; five minutes. He picked up the receiver getting set in his mind what to tell her. "Good morning, Scully; I'm fine."

"Good morning, Sir. I heard you were back and I was wondering if you had any plans for lunch?"

"Scully, I'm fine. Whatever Mulder told you; forget it. Yes, I'm a little tired my first day back after several weeks off; who wouldn't be?"

"Mulder said you've lost weight?"

"A few pounds maybe; I had the flu while I was gone but I'm fine now."

"Well how about lunch then? There's this new place over on 123rd street I've been wanting to try out." Scully didn't give up easily.

"I'm planning on eating at my desk today. I've already ordered in. I just need to get caught up on some of this back-log of work and get some rest."

"OK, if you're sure. If you need anything later, call me. I could drop by for a visit?"

"I plan on working here until about 8 then going home and going to bed. You needn't worry about me, Scully. Mulder was just in a state of shock because I signed his 302 without argument."

"You did? Well that's a first! I could see why he would over-react then. OK; I'll let you go. Mulder sounded worried so I thought I'd check up on you."

"Thanks, Scully. I appreciate the concern but nothing is wrong with me that a few good nights sleep in my own bed won't cure."

"I know what you mean. Well don't over do it now. Let at least half of that paper work wait. It's waited this long, a few more days won't hurt."

"Now that I'll give some serious thought to!" Skinner smiled.

"OK. See you."

"Yeah; and thanks, Scully." He placed the phone down with a sigh then picked it up again and ordered some lunch.

Skinner fell back into his normal routine, long work hours, workouts at the gym and long lonely weekends. He tried to keep busy but as the days shortened and winter came on a restlessness grew in him that he had never experienced before. He had not heard anything from or about Krycek and found himself alone Christmas Eve wondering if he was in Springfield playing Santa at the boy's home. He thought about Sister Mary Louise and Marty and the boys. The thought of Krycek in a Santa suit made him smile. And when did Krycek start grinning like that? He couldn't remember Krycek ever even smiling before. He tried to imagine Krycek as a boy there growing up and it did strange things to him. It gave him an insight to this man, made him more real somehow; and all this business with the Resistance; could it all be true? And that kiss? What was that all about? How could he have kissed Krycek like that and was it really returned as fervently as he remembered? He had a lot to think about.

The thought kept haunting him that he should have taken off and gone to Springfield; maybe he could have seen Krycek again. The thought shocked him. Why did he want to see Krycek so badly? Yes, Krycek saved his life; yes, he helped him through his rigorous rehabilitation; yes, he got him safely back home but he had already thanked him for all that. What was this desperate need to see him again? Where was it coming from and what did it all mean?

He poured himself another drink and raised his glass, "Merry Christmas, Krycek. I hope you're in Springfield with the boys and Sister Mary Louise looking after you." He drained his glass and went up stairs to bed.

December 31st, New Year's Eve

Skinner watched the ball drop on TV then turned it off and went up stairs to bed. He lay there listening to the party revelers in the next apartment. Horns blowing, noise makers, everybody was celebrating; everybody but Walter Skinner.

The phone ringing startled him. He grabbed it thinking it was someone from the bureau.

"Skinner," he answered reaching for his glasses and turning the light on.

"Happy New Year, Walter." A slightly inebriated Alex Krycek was on the line.

"Hey, same to you! Are you in town?"

"Nah, hours and hours away." He slurred his words just a little.

"You sound like you've been celebrating."

"Yep. Shouldn't have but I get so damn tired of being alone."

"I know the feeling. You going to be back here soon? Can I meet you somewhere?"

"Nah. Not safe."

"What about this call?"

"Got the bouncer on."

"Bouncer?"

"Uh huh. Bounces the signal all over hell. Anyone trying to trace the call will get signals from all over the world."

"Nice little toys you have."

"Yeah. Nice."

"Did you go play Santa?"

"As a matter of fact, I did. Had a great time!"

"Did you remember to get Marty another transformer?"

"Shit, yeah! I got him a whole new set up. He loved it. We had a great time playing with it."

"I'll bet you did."

"What did you do on Christmas?"

"Same thing you did tonight. Got drunk."

"I'm not drunk."

"Yes you are. You're slurring your words. Shit! I just thought. You're not with Smith and his bunch are you? You're not on some of his meds?"

"No. I'm fine. I just needed somebody to talk to."

"I'm glad you called."

"How come you're not out celebrating? I'm sure the bureau must have something going on."

"They do and that's the last place I'd want to be."

"Where would you like to be?"

Without even thinking he answered, "Back in that alley with you in my arms." He was shocked that he had said the words and more than a little disappointed when Krycek remained silent.

"I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. I've been thinking a lot about that myself."

"You have?"

"Uh huh."

"I need to see you." Skinner decided to go with the truth.

"Not a good idea. Too dangerous."

"I don't give a damn. I want to see you."

"Better to leave well enough alone."

"Why did you call me then?"

"To wish you a Happy New Year."

"How many others have you called to wish a Happy New Year?"

He was silent. He hadn't called anyone else and he knew that Skinner knew it.

"I'd better go."

"Alex, please. I need to see you. We need to talk."

"Not a good idea; maybe sometime in the future; when things are…better."

"Is that going to be sometime soon?"

"Probably not."

"I guess I'll just have to wait then. You don't much like giving me choices, do you?"

"I shouldn't have called."

"I'm glad you did. It means you've been thinking about me."

"I've been thinking about you for years and years, Walter."

"Then meet me somewhere; anywhere. You name it. I'll get on a plane and be there."

"NO! I won't risk your life. You need to stay safe."

"Why? Are you some place safe?"

"That's beside the point."

"No it's not. Why don't you quit? Let them get someone else to take over. You've done more than your share."

"And do what? Go where? I'd still be alone."

"Not if you didn't want to be."

"Walter, we're getting into deep waters here and I've had too much to drink to have this conversation."

"That's why we need to meet somewhere; to talk."

"Can't do it. I got a lot on my plate for the next couple of months."

"With Smith?"

"Yeah. He's got something…Oh shit! The old man's calling me. I gotta go."

"Alex wait! Call me again?"

"Happy New Year, Walter." He hung up the phone.

Walter returned the phone to the night stand and lay back down; wide awake now. Alex had called him! Alex was OK and he was thinking about him. Alex was still in the thick of things; in danger. Alex. Alex. When had he become 'Alex' instead of 'Krycek'?

He couldn't really say when the idea first hit him; maybe it was New Year's Eve; he didn't know and didn't really care. He just knew it was what he wanted to do so he did it. The Real Estate lady showed him several different places. They were all nice and within his price range but there was nothing special about any of them. Then he saw it. The place he knew was going to be his new home. He was going to live here for the rest of his life.

It was picture perfect. He looked at it amid a snow storm and saw in his heart a Thomas Kinkade painting. He knew it was his before he ever went inside. A two-story Victorian, out in the country, rolling hills and woods all around and 100 acres of it belonged to him. He was a homeowner now with all the chores and pleasures and expenses that came along with it. He loved every thing about it.

He chopped wood, he repaired the back porch so it could hold all the firewood, and he made plans for a Spring garden as soon as the snow melted. He worked hard on the inside of his house. The previous owners had up-dated it a lot with new wiring and plumbing so he had little to do except to move in. He could make changes and furnish the place as he went along.

At first he commuted back and forth staying the week in his condo and spending weekends at the new place. Then one day he got caught up in traffic again and sat there for an hour while cars around him honked in frustration. He pulled out his paint chips and started looking at them trying to decide what colors to paint the hallway. First chance he had, he pulled off the highway and headed back to the Hoover.

"Meeting over already?" his secretary greeted him.

"I missed it. They can have their meeting without me. He went into his office, sat down at his desk, pulled out paper and pen and wrote out his request for retirement; effective immediately. He dropped it on his secretary's desk along with his bureau ID and gun and told her to hand deliver it to Cassidy. She was shocked and choked up a bit but did as she was told. He left the Hoover then with a smile on his face, knowing he would never go back there again. He was going home.

He drove straight to his condo; explained to management that he was leaving and to put his unit up for sale. Within an hour the phone started ringing. Thank God for caller ID so he could just ignore the calls. He called and had some packing boxes delivered and began his packing. After a few hours he decided to take a break and went out and bought himself a pickup. Another few hours and several more unanswered calls, and his truck was packed and he was on the road.

Mulder called for the 7th time so he finally answered. "What is it, Mulder?"

"I just heard you retired today. What's up?"

"That's it. I retired."

"Why now?"

"I've done my time, Mulder. It's time to let someone else carry the load."

"Did my screwing up in Denver have anything to do with this? I swear it wasn't my fault!"

"You screwed up in Denver? I hadn't heard. Well, that's someone else's problem now. I'm out of it."

"I'll probably never get another 302 signed." Mulder pouted.

"You could if you'd just follow the rules for a change."

"I do try."

"I know, Mulder. I know. I have 8 nearly 9 years of knowing how hard you try. Now you can tell your fairy tales to some other poor AD who gets stuck with you."

"That's not very nice."

"I know. I should be sent to chapel."

"Huh?"

"Oh nothing. Just something I was thinking about. You're just going to have to try a little harder to get along, Mulder. You probably could if you tried."

"Yeah, but they'd just saddle me with another 'partner' again." He said it like 'partner' was a dirty word.

"That's the safest way to work and you know it. You told me yourself you didn't want Scully when she was first assigned to you. That association turned out OK; didn't it?"

"Yeah, well that was different. That was Scully."

"There are other good people in the world besides Scully. Who knows; you might even find someone you like better."

"Not a chance."

"Well, that's too bad but I'm out of it now, Mulder. It's up to you to get along or not. We each make our own lives."

"Is that what you're doing? Making your own life?"

"I'm trying to. You might give a little thought to that yourself."

"What; retiring?"

"To making a life for yourself. Give yourself something to think and care about besides the X-Files. Doggett is doing well there and they're never going to give them back to you."

"By doing well you mean he's kissing ass and staying out of trouble? But how many cases has he solved? Huh? His solve rate as good as mine? Better?"

"He goes by the book, Mulder. He doesn't make it a goal in life to piss off as many people as possible."

"Ok; so he's the fair haired boy for now but with all that's going on; they need me there!"

"This is something you need to hash out with your new AD. I have no say in the matter."

"Shit! Why'd you have to pick now to retire? I've got some great leads. The Gunmen have come up with some remarkable tapes and…"

"Mulder, save it. I told you, I'm out of it. I don't want to hear about any new leads or whatever the Gunmen come up with."

"OK. I just thought you might be interested."

"I'm not. The only thing I'm interested in now is selling my condo. You know anybody who wants to buy a condo?"

"No. So you're moving? When? When you sell the place?"

"I'm moving tonight. Management will handle the sale. I'm selling it furnished and I've already got everything out of there that I want."

"You already got a place? Where?"

"Yes and for right now, I'd rather not say where it is if you don't mind."

"You don't want me showing up on your doorstep?"

"Not right now. I want to get settled; get my new life sorted out."

"I can take a hint."

"It wasn't a hint, Mulder. It's just the way things are. I have things I need to do and I need to do them alone. I need to get my head around something besides meetings, and stacks of files, and writing reports."

"So what are you going to be doing? You got another job?"

"Nope. I'm retiring. I'm out of the job market."

"You just gonna sit around? Watch Jeopardy?"

"Don't worry about me; I've got plenty lined up to do to keep me busy."

"I can't imagine you not working."

"You can't imagine anyone not wanting to chase off after wild swamp monsters and side show freaks either."

"It's what I do."

"It's not what I do. Not what I want."

"What do you want?"

"I want to get both hands back on the steering wheel. I'm getting into some traffic here and I need to be paying attention to what I'm doing."

"You're driving?"

"Uh huh. I'm going to hang up now, Mulder. You take care of yourself and try to get along with people. You'll find out you'll get a lot farther in life if you do."

"You going to keep I touch?"

"After a while. Not right away."

"What should I tell Scully?"

"Tell her I retired and I'm very happy about it."

"Can I call you sometime?"

"Sure, Mulder. Can you give me a couple of months though? I need to be concentrating on what I'm doing and not trying to figure a way to get your ass out of trouble."

"OK. You sure you don't need any help? I meaning moving furniture and stuff?"

"No thanks. I've got it covered."

"OK. I guess I'll be talking to you then – in a couple of months."

"Yeah, Mulder; a couple of months."

"Bye then."

"Yeah; bye."

He drove the rest of the way in blessed silence. He was free now. Free to let his mind wander; to create any fantasies that interested him. He smiled as he drove and marveled at how every fantasy seemed to involve Alex Krycek. He rolled the window down and let the fresh blast of cold air revitalize him. He drove that way until he was thoroughly chilled and rolled the window back up and turned the heater on. It worked great. He was very happy with his new truck. It would be much more practical in his new life than his SUV.

It was after 10pm when he pulled up to his new place. He got out and opened the gate; making a mental note to do some work on the gate and get a new lock for it. He drove on up to the house and sat for a few minutes just gazing at it. He loved it the first minute he laid eyes on it and became overwhelmed again and again each time he drove up the driveway. This was home! He hadn't felt that way about any place he had lived since moving out of his parent's house when he joined the Marines at 18. None of the places he had lived in with Sharon had seemed 'homey' to him; they had all been picked out and decorated by Sharon and her decorators. He had little if any input in their design or décor. But this place; this was his!

The first thing he did the next morning was drive the 30 miles into town and have breakfast. He made a grocery list on his paper napkin and headed out after finishing his meal.

The morning was gray and cold with a few inches of snow on the ground. There was a lot more to come according to the local news reports so he stocked up at the grocery store as he saw many other shoppers doing. By the time he had returned home it was snowing heavily as he unloaded the truck. He was glad he had cut plenty of firewood and after stowing the groceries lit a fire in the fireplace and sat back on the couch. He pulled the lever that lifted the foot rest and settled in with a cup of hot coffee.

He thought of DC and wondered what everyone would be doing. It was mid morning and they were probably all off to meetings. He grinned into his swirling coffee cup, leaned back and relaxed. He was really going to enjoy this retirement thing!

The snow storm lasted three days before it howled itself out and dumped at least three feet of snow over everything. Skinner had spent the time making list after list of all he wanted to get done and made a graph of when each thing should be done, how long it would take and when it would be finished. It was hard at the moment to separate the business man from the retired man but he was enjoying himself and as each thing was done he felt a great sense of accomplishment.

By the time the last snow had fallen his new tractor arrived and he was enjoying trying out all its many features. After a week of sunny days the ground had thawed enough for him to try it out. He started by clearing a pasture back behind the house where horses had been kept at one time. He cleared all the weeds and smoothed out this perfectly flat area, deciding it would be best for his garden. The tractor worked like a dream and he set out clearing his huge front yard. He plowed under all the weeds and smoothed out all the ruts. He turned all the soil then set about spreading the top soil he had ordered brought in and dumped. Then came the hard part of laying the new sod he had brought in, in huge rolls. He watered it all in good and in a few weeks his front lawn looked like a golf course.

It was finally time to plant, according to the Farmer's almanac. He had prepared his soil properly; installed a water line out to the garden for watering; and bought all the seed and seedlings that he had planned. The actual planting was a lot more tiring than he had remembered from back on the old family farm but that was long ago and that was his parent's farm. This was his; his place, his garden. He planted only the vegetables that he liked; he planted them exactly the correct distance apart, using a ruler to make sure; and he weeded daily once they began to sprout.

His garden was coming along fine, his house remodeling was coming along fine, he enjoyed notliving in a big city and not having to spend endless days at the bureau; but something was missing. He was lonely. He liked his privacy, he liked working alone, he liked the silence but there were times when he just needed someone; someone to talk to; someone to wake up next to.

As the months passed, he thought often of Alex Krycek and wondered if was still working with Jeremiah Smith. Now there was an unlikely duo that he never expected to see. He also thought about Mulder and his plaintive calls; talking on and on endlessly about nothing. He was lonely too and had sent off more than a few signals that he would be interested in joining Skinner in his self-exile from the world. Krycek and Mulder couldn't be more un-alike yet they both held a strange fascination for him.

Mulder with that puppy dog look he gets sometimes when he's being chewed out and Krycek with that hard edge of a criminal who enjoys playing Santa for the kids.

Two remarkable men; each in their own way and his feelings for both of them scared him to death!

Mulder could probably be his and his alone for a time; up until some fascinating new thing appeared on the horizon and he'd be gone for God knows how long. He knew there was a relationship between Mulder and Scully; he just wasn't sure how involved that relationship was and he sure didn't want to get in the middle of anything and he definitely wasn't into sharing.

And then there's Krycek; Krycek would never belong to anyone but himself. He lived his life in the edge and it was only a matter of time before he would just disappear from the face of the earth. He was living on borrowed time as it was. He was sexy as hell and would be a real challenge but it was beginning to look like he wasn't going to have the chance to find out. It had been months since he'd seen him. He could already be dead. But still… He couldn't forget that kiss or the smiles, or the sweet way he had about him dealing with Sister Mary Louise and the boys. Which was the real Alex Krycek? He wondered. Was it the menacing, evil traitor, Consortium operative, murderer? Or was it that sweet caring man he came to know those weeks in Springfield; the man who massaged him daily and bullied him into doing his exercises? He couldn't explain it even to himself but there was just something about Krycek; something he couldn't deny. The guy just did it for him. It was utterly ridiculous, he knew, but he couldn't stop hoping Krycek would show up one of these days.

It looked like he was destined to spend the rest of his life alone with just occasional trips into town on 'business'. He always managed to come up with some reason that he had to go back to DC and he did so about once a month. While there, he'd call his favorite Madam and arrange a few hours companionship. It wasn't much of a life; but it was his life and to an extent, he was satisfied with it. He did sometimes, when he was alone in bed at night, think what it might be like to have someone there with him; someone who would love this place as much as he had grown to; someone to love and be loved by.

He cleaned up, caught a plane to DC, checked into his regular hotel and made his phone call. All was set.

He straightened his tie one last time and picked up the red carnation he had purchased on the way to the hotel. He despised the whole 'red carnation in the lapel' bit but it worked and in this part downtown DC it was not an uncommon site to see a man with a flower in his lapel heading off to some function or other. He would go to the assigned bar/club, be able to check out who he was set up with and if he didn't want to make the hookup; he didn't have to. He had never done that though. This particular Madam had a long detailed list of likes and dislikes that he had filled out and he had always been pleasantly surprised with her choices.

He both hated and loved these hookups. Hated them that they were always so awkward – that first face to face meeting. He never knew what to say. What do you say to someone who knows you don't want anything but a few hours of their time; next to no talking as he had specified in his request form and lots of sex? Awkward was an understatement. He did love the excitement of it all though; meeting someone new who wanted the exact same thing he did; sex with no hint of a relationship involved. It wasn't a perfect system but it worked for him.

He took out his pocket knife and cut the stem of the carnation so that it would fit comfortably in his lapel. A quick check of his watch showed it was time to leave. He checked to make sure he had condoms and lube then headed out the door. In the elevator he let his mind wander back to the last time he had been through this routine. Same hotel, same club for the meeting within walking distance in a busy downtown area. That guy had called himself 'Blondie' and he was; all over; a real California beach boy type; all suntanned and golden and absolutely delicious.

He walked out into the night air and remembered that night. Blondie had been a real Energizer bunny and didn't leave the hotel until the next morning; late the next morning.

Skinner hoped he would have the same luck tonight but for some reason he was a bit apprehensive about meeting this 'Green eyes'.

Skinner walked through the door of the bar and glanced around; a nice crowd for a Wednesday night. He soaked up the atmosphere as he passed the bar; enjoying the sights and sounds of a DC evening; the clinking of ice in glasses, friendly conversations going on all around, the smell of liquor and leather and after shave. The old tingle of anticipation stirred him as he looked around for another red carnation. He saw some with white roses but decided they were with a wedding party at one side of the room. Then he noticed a man sitting alone at a booth in the back; red carnation in his lapel. He appeared to be in his 30s, dark hair. His head was down and he was rubbing his forehead. He must be apprehensive too, Skinner decided as he walked over to him.

The man looked up at Skinner's approach and there he was; Green Eyes; Alex Krycek.

A moment of shock passed between them then they both broke out laughing. The tension was too much to handle any other way.

"Sit down." Krycek said nodding to the other side of the booth.

"Shit! If I hadn't seen the look of shock on your face, I'd ask if you had arranged this."

"No, I didn't but now that you mention it, I wish I had." Alex grinned at him.

A waiter stopped at their table and took Skinner's order then left.

"So I take it, you're 'Green eyes'?" Skinner asked removing the flower from his jacket and tossing it on the table.

"That I am, 'Big and Bald," Krycek answered.

Skinner cringed at the nickname that seemed so foolish now but at the time, seemed quite appropriate.

"So how have you been? Staying out of harms way I hope." Skinner tried to sound casual but couldn't help the flutter inside him that kept yelling at him 'Alex Krycek! Alex Krycek!'

"I do what I can to stay out of trouble. I hear you've retired. Good for you. Are you enjoying yourself?"

"As much as anyone can all alone and miles and miles out in the country." That came out a lot more cynical than he meant it.

"You're looking good. What ever you're doing agrees with you."

"I was about to say the same thing about you." He reached over and touched the back of Krycek's left hand; flesh and bone. "You've been to see Smith?"

"Yeah. I thought it was about time. The Consortium is now defunct; the old man is next to powerless and on his last legs and being watched closely. Things are well in hand."

"Good. That is good to hear."

They were silent for a few moments; an awkward silence.

"How's everything in Springfield?" Skinner finally asked.

"Oh they are all great! I was there last week."

"What did Sister Mary Louise say about your arm? How did you explain it?"

"I explained it to her briefly saying it was an experimental procedure. She didn't ask many questions about it; just hugged me and said a prayer of thanks."

"I really liked her."

"She's a doll all right."

"She'd have you by the ear if she heard you call her that!" Skinner teased.

"She would for a fact." Krycek laughed.

Everything welled up inside of him then and Skinner had the greatest need to hug this man; to say things to him that couldn't or shouldn't be said under these circumstances.

"What do you say, we get out of here?" Skinner asked in a husky voice.

"Good idea. Where you staying? I heard you sold your condo." They stood to leave and each laid down some money on the table to cover their tab.

"I've got a hotel room about three blocks from here." He answered as they exited the bar.

"Perfect. Nice evening for a walk." Krycek agreed falling into step beside him.

"It is. So tell me what you're up to now? Are you retired? Doing some other kind of work? What are you doing in DC?"

"Actually I just finished up my physical therapy with Smith and his gang. I have officially retired as much as possible."

"As much as possible?" Skinner asked as they crossed a street.

"Smith has dismissed me. He says he will not be calling on me again unless it's absolutely necessary."

"I see what you mean."

"I haven't decided yet what I want to do. I just knew I wanted to pay a visit to Madam's and that meant coming to DC. I guess I just wanted to walk around the city a little and see what it was like not having to hide in the alleys and travel over roof tops."

"I can certainly see how that would get old."

"So how is Mulder; the two of you keeping in touch?"

"A few phone calls now and then; that's about it."

"Really? I figured there'd be more; now that you're retired, I mean."

"Between Mulder and me?" Skinner asked as they walked into the hotel and waited for the elevator. "I can't say the thought has never crossed my mind. I like Mulder. He's a good man. He's just not what I'm looking for."

As the elevator doors closed behind them, Krycek asked, "What are you looking for?"

Skinner grabbed him then; pulled him close and kissed him. The kiss was returned with even more fervor than he had remembered from their one kiss in the alley. They were unaware when the elevator stopped and the door opened. They did turn loose and look around when an astonished young man in horned rimmed glasses stood staring at them and said, "Aah Excuse me. I'll take the next car."

Skinner reached over and pressed the close door button and the elevator took off. In moments they were inside the room with the door locked behind them. Krycek was pressed up against the wall and Skinner was doing his best to swallow him whole; tongue first. They didn't break for air until their slacks and tightie whities hit the floor and they were tearing at each others neckties and shirts. Buttons popped and scattered across the floor and in a heartbeat they were naked and rolling on the bed. Mouths devoured one another; hands slid down over backs and back up again over broad shoulders; nipples teased erect and hips glued together in rhythmic motion. Naked bottoms were caressed and held tightly together; first one on top then the other. Frantic groans released them from their frenzy and they lay spent and exhausted; still clinging to one another.

"You OK?" Walter managed to croak out after clearing his throat.

"Yeah, I think so. Is the top of my head still on?" Alex leaned his head over against Walter's shoulder.

Walter chuckled, "Don't know. Have to wait until I regain my eyesight; then I'll look."

"I think we should send Madam a special thank you card with a bonus in it." Alex said pressing a kiss against the damp shoulder.

"She really hit the jack pot this time!" Walter agreed.

"I need a shower." Alex said sitting up but still holding on to Walter. "Wanna join me?"

"I like the way you think! Yes; I would," he said sitting up and heading for the shower with Alex.

"So, tell me, Alex; what have you got planned for the rest of your life?"

"Nothing definite yet. Been looking for a place; someplace out in the country away from all the traffic and city noise.

They stepped into the shower and Walter asked, "How do you feel about Thomas Kinkade?"

"The guy who paints all those beautiful old Victorian houses? I love his work."

"Good. Have I got a place to show you!"

The End