By Moonlight

Sitting against the wall, I wondered how I ended up here.

I blame Misato. Really. I wouldn't be doing any of this otherwise. I have better things to do than watch this idiot snore the night away.

"He sleeps like an angel," she had said just like that!

We were discussing the merits of having Shinji live in the same apartment as us and then out of the blue she says something like that. Can you believe it? This is Misato we're talking about. A serious comment from her is as common as an angel with a white flag.

But she had this sort of 'look' on her face as she said it that really caught my attention, more than the words themselves. I couldn't really describe it at the time, I had laughed it off then.

"Ohh, Misato and her precious 'Shin-chan' ha! You sound you like you want to marry him or something. What's wrong? No one else who'd take you?" I knew it was a sore spot for her, her reaction confirmed it. She had gone red, out of anger or embarrassment I don't know, though I should've seen what was coming next…

"Oh, I would… but he has his eyes on someone else I think." She winked and before the words and the meaning behind them had sunk in, an apron clad Shinji entered the kitchen. Misato pressed on…

"Isn't that right Shinji?" Shinji had no idea what we had been talking about of course. I could see his eyes widen as he wondered what the correct response would be, Misato's knowing grin and my own stricken expression most likely didn't help him.

"…er..yes...?" Misato had slapped the table, laughing, before taking another large swig of beer. I chose to retreat to my room at that time rather than suffer more of Misato's crude jokes, at least before Shinji figured out he was the topic of conversation. Misato would have a field day if he got involved.

She had always been closer to him.

She didn't bring it up again and Shinji, the idiot, clueless as ever, went about his business like he usually does.

Except this time, I watched him. While we walked to school, as he made dinner...

I didn't let him see me doing this, of course. Can't let him get the wrong idea. Who knows what that warped mind of his would tell him? He'd over-complicate it, when really it was such a small, small, simple thing. Hardly worth the effort to think about. No concern of his.

I hoped.

So I decided, a few days later, a few days ago now, to see if I could disprove Misato's take on him. Which meant I had to observe him, after he had fallen asleep.

It wasn't really spying or invading his privacy.

Well… ok, maybe a little. But what he doesn't know won't hurt him.

Heh, it had been so easy. Shinji was so predictable, like clockwork.

Each night before he went to sleep he would shower and then lie down on his bed listening to that SDAT of his. Even now, it lies there next to him, playing some random piece of music.

Just what does he listen to? He's never mentioned it and so I've never asked. I don't understand why he's kept such an outdated model. Maybe I'll buy him a new one for his birthday.

Wait… I'm thinking of buying gifts? For Shinji?!

I looked away from his sleeping form for a few moments and went over that last thought.

Sure, I've been nicer to him. No matter what geek boy and the ape may think I'm not the demon they portray me to be. They deserve what they get! After all, my infinite patience doesn't extend to them.

But Shinji... I can't really find too much to fault in him. He cooks, he cleans, he doesn't gloat whenever he improves his synch score. I'm still the best obviously, but he is getting closer.

And yet he's still the same old Shinji, though more settled maybe. With no Angel attacks for the last few months things had become routine. School and synch tests. How boring.

It's strange, he hasn't woken up once while I've been here. Sometimes I sit against the wall, other times sitting in his desk chair. My heart raced every time he stirred and I was ready to bolt out the door before he could completely wake up…

But he hasn't.

He just twisted and turned over, this way and that, nuzzling his face into his pillow in the most adorable --

Argh! Dammit Asuka! Get a grip! This is Shinji Ikari! Spineless, perverted, weak, quiet, shy, loveable, kissable Shin--

Ugh! Doing it again!

I shook my head, hoping to clear such foreign thoughts, and tried the rational approach.

Too much weekly soap operas. And with Shinji the only constant male presence in my life, it was a subconscious thing.

Yeah, perfectly normal for a girl… right? I struggled to keep the cry of frustration in. The excuse sounded feeble, even to me.

Now… now it's his fault! And I resumed my vigil, eyes narrowed. He hadn't moved for a while, arms askew, mouth slightly open, breathing slowly. The pale moonlight coming in from the window fell across the floor and the edge of his bed, just enough to give a slight sheen to his face. His hair tousled and falling across his face.

Look at him! Sleeping as if there's nothing wrong with the world!

And here I am, agonising over him!

Doesn't he care?!

But, my brain interjected, he doesn't know. It's the middle of the night. Misato's probably drunk out of her head and I'm sitting here… looking at him.

I have no time for rationality.

…I have to agree with Misato. Reluctantly, I might add. But there is no denying it. Shinji, as he lay there, is cute.

No guarded expression. No eyes darting furtively to meet my own only to look away, blushing. He's so annoying, so…unsure of himself I swear I could strangle him sometimes.

Shinji… what am I going to do with you?

My adolescent mind conjured up several somewhat appealing images and my face began to heat up. Eyes wide, looking at Shinji, I imagined…

No! Bad Asuka!

Again I lay blame on Misato. Her shamelessness must be rubbing off on me. Really, throwing herself at Kaji like that! Sometimes even at Shinji if she's drunk enough! Hmph, and what does he do? He just stands there, stiff as a bone, not knowing what to do, face as red as my Unit-02.

Once again, thoughts unbidden, placed me in Misato's position, making the whole room feel warm and stuffy even with my loose top and cut offs. I gulped, quietly, and looked at Shinji, grateful for the fact that he hasn't woken up, if only he could see me now.

I wonder if he knows…

Probably not.

I yawned and decided to leave the room, it was getting late. Same as yesterday.

But before that, I walked over to his bed and leaned in close, my face inches from his. I could smell the shampoo on Shinji's hair, his breath on my lips (or am I imagining that?). Making sure not to let my hair fall on his face, I took in every detail, eyes closed, lashes resting almost peacefully on his cheeks, dreaming I assume.

Of what? Of me? 'Yes' the answer is obvious.

Wait… this is Shinji, the pervert probably includes Misato and Rei too. Hmph, as if he can't get enough of me during the day. I find myself smiling at him anyway, something he doesn't see too often while awake I realise.

Perhaps I need to see a doctor. Ugh…not Ritsuko. I shake my head to get rid of the thought, my hair brushing gently against his chest and shoulders.

Sighing, almost in disappointment, I step away from Shinji and made for the door. Reaching it, letting the light in from the hallway, I took one last look at him at his most vulnerable, the side that he showed to no one.

And with a final word I leave.

"Goodnight."

Author's Note:

First attempt at AxS waffy fic. Toughest part was trying to make it AxS without having Asuka go too OOC. Also writing it in first person, I've never been good with past/present tenses so apologies for any glaring mistakes there, I just kinda start writing and stick with whatever sounds good. I'll just say one thing, writing Eva battles with angels, explosions, debris, sounds, shockwaves and all that kinda stuff is easy compared to writing out the thoughts of one character. But hell, it was fun. :)

Most likely there'll be a second chapter from Shinji's POV set the morning after with some interaction between the two. Was meant to be a oneshot but meh, (can a oneshot have two chapters? :P) I'll do that as soon as I've uploaded A Fool's War chapter 11.

Thanks to Hidari for pre-reading and giving me some good insights and tips. Much appreciated. Thank you for reading, constructive criticism is, as always, welcome and appreciated.

Until the next chapter…