He'd had better days, Ozpin reflected idly. Earlier today, he'd had to finish the rosters for the second semester, and now…he had expected Port to tell him that he'd gotten no news, that the rest of the world was still covered in Grimm, with only the known strongholds of humanity standing out. Instead, he'd sent a rather…bewildering report, and was now standing in his office accompanied by a tall, older man with a clipped beard in a massive trench coat, with khaki pants and a light shirt.

Ozpin glanced over his spectacles at Port, before sighing and picking up his coffee. "You're absolutely certain?"

"Yes." The professor rumbled. "This island was completely free of Grimm. They had their own school, dedicated to training their own hunters. In fact, they believed that the rest of the world had been overwhelmed themselves."

"That part I can understand…." Ozpin sighed. "This part about their…Semblances having evolved?"

"That's what the professor I asked to come with me said." Port shrugged. "That the Semblance was a stepping stone towards the real power of Aura…a reflection of the user's own soul."

That was when the second man stepped forward, grinning genially and extending his hand. "Ozpin, was it?"

"You are correct." The headmaster said, taking the man's hand in his own and wincing. That was a significantly stronger grip than he'd anticipated. "Tell me, professor…Joestar, was it?"

The man's grin somehow grew wider as he nodded. "Joseph Joestar, yes."

"Of course." Ozpin said absent-mindedly. "Tell me…why did you come?"

"Well." Joseph shrugged, grin fading. "I understand your students and even your professors are expected to fight Grimm using only their Semblance?"

"Along with their extensive weapon training and physical abilities." Ozpin said, slightly defensively. He didn't like the suggestion that he was endangering his students. Joseph shrugged.

"Sorry if I offended you. I brought one of my school's teams – four of our best and brightest – here in an exchange program, to better integrate with the newly discovered world!" Joseph grinned. "Why, my own grandson is on it!"

"We're grateful that you're taking this revelation so well." Ozpin agreed. "However, you said that you were here to teach as well?"

"I have to teach you how to defend yourselves. All of you." Joseph shrugged. "I'll teach you how to evolve your power…"

Ozpin carefully put his coffee down and glanced at him. "Yes, this evolved Semblance that Port mentioned. What did you call it?"

"It's called a Stand." Joseph said, extending his hand. "Hermit Purple!"

A chain of purple, thorny vines snapped out of his sleeve and wrapped around Ozpin's cup, yanking it into Joseph's hand. The older man kept a perfect grin on his face as he slowly drank the coffee, making an appreciative sound.

"That's good coffee." He admitted, putting it down again. Ozpin's eye twitched slightly in annoyance. "Now, you're going to say…'when do you start?'"

"When do you-" How on earth did he do that? "…is that another power of your Stand?"

"Oh, no, I just do that." Joseph chuckled. "Still, this semester, hopefully. Sorry if it's hard to fit into your schedule!"

With that, Joseph turned to leave, clapping Port on the shoulder and leaving them to it. Port shook his head.

"He's a friendly sort, but a bit overwhelming." He admitted. Ozpin nodded in quiet agreement, glancing down at the four young men on the helipad, waiting for their teacher's return.

"Tell me…what do you know about this team?"

"They're the best that their academy had raised." Port shrugged. "I saw their leader in action myself, the one in the long coat. He took out a Death Stalker in mere moments with his Stand, I've never seen anything like it."

"…if we can teach our students to unlock these Stands…" Ozpin said slowly. "…we may just get an advantage. Thank you, Port. I need to make a personal call."

Qrow would want to hear about this, as would James. Port nodded and left the room, leaving Ozpin to stare at the roster for the submitted team.

"Team JOJO…" He muttered. It was strange, how their nation didn't follow their regular colour naming patterns, although he supposed it made sense. "Jotaro Kujo, Giorno Giovanna, Josuke Higashitaka and Guido Mista…interesting."

He'd have to check the files on their abilities later. Right now, all it mentioned was the name of their 'stands'. Star Platinum, Gold Experience, Crazy Diamond and Sex Pistols…there was something strange happening here.

Some powerful new players had been added onto the side of the angels…but things didn't just get better without cause. Ozpin suddenly felt very, very certain that in order for this to happen, the side of the demons must have had some kind of boost.

He didn't know how right he was. Hundreds of miles away, in a base filled with White Fang terrorists, Roman Torchwick found an old, rotting casket floating through an underground river. The only word on it?

DIO.

RWBY'S BIZARRE ADVENTURE

CHAPTER ONE: OPEN THE GAME

Jotaro Kujo was not having a good day.

First, he'd been reluctantly separated from his own friends - no matter how little he outwardly seemed to care for them - and sent on a plane with a group of people he hardly knew (and, in one case, had a rather strained personal relationship with - Josuke wastechnically his half-uncle), but now he was trying to eat, in a cafeteria full of people staring at them, whispering about their purpose here.

Why couldn't they have waited until after the assembly to try and eat?

"I can't eat this!" Guido whined, pushing his food away. His odd manner of clothing, skullcap with blue arrow especially, had drawn him all sorts of looks - as had the fact that he was the only one of the four apparently armed, a revolver hanging at his waist. "There's four things on it! What, does the cook want me to die or something?"

"Nobody wants you to die, Guido." Giorno sighed. His purple suit was fairly normal, by their standards - except for the heart-shaped hollow above his zipper. His blonde hair had been braided, with three rolls at the front standing out. Of everyone at this table, Giorno was the one that made Jotaro nervous the most. He wasn't sure if he could take him in a fight, and everyone knew who HIS ancestor had been. Although at the very least, he was the least likely to draw attention to them right now, so that earned him a few good points.

Josuke's purple pompadour bobbed next to them. "Yeah! If you don't want it, I'll have one part! Then you'll only have three to choose from!"

Guido thought about this for a few seconds, then nodded in agreement. Josuke, grinning, impaled his steak on his fork and dropped it on his own plate, leaving Mista with broccoli, potatoes and carrots.

"HEY! What are you trying to pull!"

"You said I could take one part, right?" Josuke grinned, cutting into the steak. Mista opened and closed his mouth a few times, before sighing in defeat and slumping back in his chair, Giorno patting his back comfortingly.

"It's alright, Guido. Next time just don't ask for any carrots."

The gunslinger let out a low whine as Jotaro shook his head and returned to his own meal. As far as school fare went, it was rather good, but he supposed that when you were training what were for all intents and purposes soldiers you'd need proper nutrition.

This was their introduction to the school at large, and as far as they go, it was fairly normal – even if most of the others were ignoring them. Well, up until Cardin decided to vent some of his frustrated curiosity (an attempt to intimidate Jotaro had gone horribly wrong, when it turned out the new student had at least five inches on him and was almost half as wide again as the Winchester) on Velvet, yanking at her ears again and claiming that she'd been laughing at his humiliation, despite the fact that she hadn't arrived until significantly after the incident had passed. Coco saw this and stalked towards him, but one other person - who was closer - stood up, and proceeded to make everything worse.

"Please let her go." Josuke said politely. Cardin glanced at him.

"Hey, pal. You're new around here, so let me give you some advice - you take your stupid haircut somewhere else, and I'll do what I want, got it?"

The temperature in the room seemed to drop several degrees, and as one the rest of Team JOJO winced.

"Shit." Guido muttered. Josuke's eye twitched.

"I'm sorry...what did you just say about my hair?"

Cardin, despite his faults, was not a completecoward. "I said it was stupid! You got a problem with tha-"

"CRAZY DIAMOND!"

"Oh, hell." Jotaro cursed under his breath as Josuke's Stand manifested. A powerfully built humanoid, in fragmented light blue armour over pink muscles with a tall, flat-topped helmet rose up next to him. Cardin had a moment to blink in surprise before the first - and last - punch was thrown.

"DOOOOORA!"

Cardin Winchester was a first-year student, with fairly high combat grades. Josuke Higashitaka was one of the best students that the Joestar Academy had ever produced, and was master of a particularly powerful Stand. Beacon Academy's walls were designed to withstand most impacts from training.

The walls did not withstand the Cardin-shaped impact. Josuke smirked. "Don't come back! Asshole..."

The room stared at them in shock, and Jotaro took off his hat to run a hand through his hair. "Yare, yare daze..."

An ordinary introduction completely ruined. Well, this was off to a good start.

Stand Name – Crazy Diamond

User – Josuke Higashitaka

Destructive Power – A

Speed – A

Range – D

Durability – B

Precision – B

Developmental Potential – C

Other abilities: Restoration. Crazy Diamond can restore or revert objects or organisms to any previous state in their history, repairing damage, healing injury and reverting chemical changes to their raw components. It runs the chance of its target being improperly warped should Josuke be in a foul mood. It cannot revive the dead or heal Josuke himself.

Ruby Rose was awoken by a sharp, pointed elbow jamming into her ribs. Groaning, she glanced at the culprit's face.

Weiss Schnee was not impressed.

"Will you pay attention?" She hissed. Down on the platform, Ozpin – who hadn't even paused in his speech – seemed to give them an amused glance. How on earth did he always know it was them? "This is important!"

"Now, while the discovery of another civilized location is one to rejoice over, the most interesting news is what they have revealed about the nature of Semblance." He said steadily, sipping from his coffee. "I'm sure most of you have at least heard about one of the new transfer's recent outburst at the expense of Mister Cardin, who is expected to make a full recovery."

That brought the usual discouraged cheering such announcements of a bully getting his comeuppance brought, and Ozpin's lips twitched slightly.

"The ability will be explained by the transferring professor, Joseph Joestar of the Joestar Academy." Ozpin nodded politely at the older man, who stood up from his chair with a grin.

"Hermit Purple!"

The thorny purple vines wrapped around the screens of the assembly hall, which until previously had been showing the banner of the Joestar Academy – a simple star on a black-and-white background, checkered with diamonds – next to Beacon's. Now, a vision took its place on its screen, of students standing in a circle around a fountain somewhere else. In front of them, a pair of old men – one with a severe scar on his face and a trailing mullet, the other with a bandanna wrapped around his head – stood forward and bowed slightly.

"We're going to assume that Joseph has managed to use his stand by now." The man with the bandanna said dryly. "My name is Caesar Zeppeli."

"Mine is Robert Edward O. Speedwagon." The scarred man said, shooting his companion a glare. "I am the Dean of Joestar Academy. The ability allowing you to see us is called a Stand – a reflection of the user's soul. Joseph's allows him to project images onto a screen, no matter the distance or location, as long as he knows what he is looking for. What this says for him, is probably not worth considering."

The students took an almost immediate liking to Speedwagon, just like Joseph anticipated they would. Was there anyone that didn't like the man? Well, other than various terrorist organizations who were convinced that the man's ability to stay alive without a Stand or any other kind of power was some sort of supernatural ability of its own sort.

Caesar shook his head in disapproval before continuing. "What you call Semblance is, in fact, a young and unevolved Stand." He said, rubbing his hands together and smiling as bubbles seemed to trace around his fingers. "Everyone's Stand is different, and is awoken either by intense training or a moment of emotional upheaval. Using the Stand, we have managed to protect our island from the predations of the Grimm, even those you refer to as 'Goliaths'."

This brought some disbelieving murmurs from the crowd. Ruby's eyes widened in surprise – she'd only ever read about the Goliaths – forcibly, at that – but the idea of one Huntress being able to defeat them without help, using only their Semblance? That was incredible.

If this was true…she needed her Stand. Immediately. She hoped it was cool

"In the interests of good faith, we have sent Professor Joestar, one of our most experienced instructors, and a team of our finest first-year students to train you in Stand usage. All we ask in return is that you make sure the students we have sent continue their education properly." Speedwagon explained, tipping his bowler hat.

At this, Josuke let out a moan and slammed his head off the table. Joseph grinned at his expense, chuckling to himself.

"Our time runs short." Caesar sighed, turning to the students. "Joseph, cut the feed."

They didn't have any way of knowing if he had or not, so in the interest of fun, Joseph decided to keep it rolling. Caesar's next comment was, by consequence, overheard by everyone.

"Did you seriously just call Joseph our best instructor?" He complained to Speedwagon. "I thought you wanted to make a bond with these people, not drive them completely insa-"

Disappointed, and not willing to ruin his reputation any more than he already had, Joseph cut the feed. Thousands of miles away, Caesar grinned.

"You said that because you knew he'd still be watching, didn't you?" One of the students asked. Caesar nodded cheerfully. It felt good to get one over Joseph on occasion.

Back at Beacon, Joseph coughed. "I know that seems hard to believe, so allow us to demonstrate. Team JOJO, come forward and introduce yourselves!"

Glancing at each other, the transfers stood up from behind their table and walked onto the centre of the stage.

"My name is Jotaro Kujo." Jotaro grunted, leaving it at that. Joseph gave him a glare, so Jotaro sighed and raised his head. "My Stand's name is Star Platinum."

With that, a muscular man with blue skin rose up from behind Jotaro, letting out a cry. In the stands, Yang's eyes narrowed.

"Oh, this is going to be fun." She grinned, cracking her knuckles. That was a fight she was looking forward to.

"Giorno Giovanna." Giorno said politely, raising his fist to the edge of his heart-shaped collar. "My stand…Gold Experience!"

"Are they all going to pose?" Blake said incredulously. In front of them, Phyrra shrugged, instead staring at the thin, dome-headed golden man wrapping his arms around Giorno's shoulder.

"Do you think he's implying something with that?" She said dryly, even though her hands were quivering. For some reason, that man felt…dangerous. They all did, but Giorno positively radiated danger. Like there was something off about him.

"Josuke Higashitaka." Josuke introduced himself, snapping his fingers. "As for my Stand, although you've already seen it…Crazy Diamond!"

As yesterday, the armoured man rose up next to Josuke, letting out its own cry – much louder than Star Platinum's, as if it was challenging him. In the hospital wing, Cardin let out a small whimper. Pyrra let out a sigh of relief, as if Gold Experience's threat was somehow cancelled out by Crazy Diamond's appearance.

Finally, the final member of their team stood forward, smiling. "The name's Guido Mista, and this is my Stand, Sex Pistols!"

He snapped out his hand, the revolver clasped in it, as six imps flashed into existence and started swooping through the room, hollering.

"Pass pass pass!"

"Pass pass pass!"

One flew up to Weiss and grinned, settling on her screen. A number 7 glinted on his forehead. "Heeeey there-"

Weiss let out an irritated grunt and flicked him, sending him spiralling back down the steps. Grumbling, she shook her head. "Well, they're real."

"They're actually all posing." Blake said in disbelief. Ruby's eyes were practically shining.

"Guys. We need to figure out posing too."

The rest of the team turned to give her incredulous looks, except her sister, who just sighed.

"Why?!" Blake said in confusion, scratching her head. "Why would we need to pose?"

"Well…" Ruby began, frowning. "I mean, if they're all doing it, it has to be linked to the Stands somehow, right?"

"The sad part is, at this point, I'd believe that." Weiss grumbled. This day had officially gotten Too Weird.

"Thank you, all of you." Ozpin said politely, as soon as Sex Pistols were back to rotating around Guido's gun hand. "We'll make sure you settle in here at Beacon as well as we can. Now, everyone is dismissed. Team RWBY, would you mind showing Team JOJO around the campus?"

As Weiss stared in disbelief, one thought crossed her mind. Why was it always us?!

"So, what're your names?" Josuke asked cheerfuly, resting his hands behind his neck and glancing at them with an appreciative smile. Weiss rolled her eyes and snorted, letting the rest of her team do the talking. This clearly wasn't going the way she wanted.

"Well, I'm Ruby!" Ruby said cheerfully. "That's my sister Yang, and our teammates Blake and Weiss! She's mean."

"I am not!" Weiss protested, getting a few chuckles from Giorno.

"Cool. So, where's your fifth member?" Guido asked. The rest of team JOJO winced.

"…fifth? We always operate in teams of four." Blake said, confused.

"Yeah, teams of four, plus a teacher assigned to each team. That's what Professor Joestar told me!" Guido continued, a hint of desperation entering his voice. Jotaro groaned and adjusted his hat.

"Yare, yare daze…"

Guido froze. "…oh dear god, we're a team of four too, aren't we."

"What is wrong with y-" Weiss started, before Guido screamed and ran back towards the helipad, the plane already taking off.

"PLEASE! TAKE ME AWAY FROM HERE! DON'T LEAVE ME, WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!"

"He's got a complex." Giorno explained, giving them an apologetic look before running after him. "Guido! Calm down! They'll stop being teams of four when they get their Stands!"

"That's not helping!"

"Guido, shut up and behave or I swear I will tell Bruno and Narancia about this!"

The two's bickering faded into the distance, Josuke grinning and Jotaro still groaning into his hand. This wasn't the kind of day he'd wanted to experience.

"Sooooo…" Ruby said after a few seconds. "...want to see the dorms?"

"Please." Jotaro grumbled. He'd send the room number to Giorno after he'd finished chasing down Guido. He could already tell this was a bad idea.

"You don't talk much." Yang raised an eyebrow, elbowing him. "Strong silent type, huh?"

Jotaro rolled his eyes and, with years of practice with his various fangirls, tuned her out. Yang let out an irritated noise, but let him be anyway. She'd get a rise out of him eventually.

"Awkwarrrd." Ruby muttered, getting a chuckle from Josuke. This meeting wasn't going as well as some people could have hoped.

They'd said their goodbyes to Jotaro and Josuke, who claimed they had jet lag – for some reason Jotaro was muttering about how "it was amazing we didn't crash" – and clocked out for the day. "They seemed nice." Ruby said, dangling upside-down from her bunk. Weiss groaned, shaking her head.

"They seemed crazy."

"Maybe they are." Blake shrugged. "They're strong, but they've been isolated for so long. Who knows how small that community was?"

"Either way, I think it'll work out pretty well." Yang grinned viciously. "What do you think our Stands would be like?"

"Who knows." Weiss snorted. "I hope it won't be like that Guido's and his stupid imps. Those things were annoying."

Blake tuned the rest of her teammates out as a thought occurred to her. If everyone from that island was so strong, how come they hadn't expanded? What else must they have been fighting all this time, other than Grimm?

"It is good you did not open it yet." The hunched man drawled, his companion's cowboy boots clicking obnoxiously as they walked into the room, the two – admittedly expendable – White Fang guards having slumped to the ground with smoking bullet holes in their foreheads. Roman exchanged looks with Neo, before sighing.

"Oh, and why is that, stranger?" He asked casually, shifting over

"If it contains what I think it does, you would gain a powerful ally…but at the expense of your free will." The man walked around the ultraviolet floodlights glaring at the coffin, staring thoughtfully at the insignia.

DIO.

"My boss has decided that you would make a valuable business partner." He continued, filing the coffin away under 'interesting' for now. "Passione is an organization much like your White Fang, but rather than Faunus equality we specialize in…redistributing wealth."

Roman chuckled, lighting a cigar and extending a hand. "I'll have to check with my boss, but I have to say, you're the first man talking sense I've met in a long time. When can I meet yours?"

"The boss doesn't like people to know who he is." The man said blandly, extending his left hand to shake Roman's – and drawing evident amusement from his shudder when he realized it looked like a right. "I understand you've been kept up to speed with the new developments?"

"These Stands…interesting." Roman rolled the cigar in his fingers, frowning. "Hunters give us enough problems as it is. I assume the main benefit we would get from allying with your Passione is a way of dealing with them?"

"Exactly." The man bowed his head. "I'm merely the first one sent as an offering to do so. Would you care for a demonstration?"

"Oh, go ahead." Roman waved his arm around. The man nodded politely and turned to his own minion – to Roman's disappointment, not the cowboy – who paled and backed away.

"No! Ple-"

The minion made to run, but the shrouded man's hands raised and pointed at the glinting reflection of the minion in the roughshod metal wall. "Hanged Man…"

To Roman's shock, what looked like a mummy rose behind the minion in the mirror, long knives extending from under his arms. The minion faced his reflection, his scream of fear cut short as the mummy seemed to move to cut the throat of the reflection, before his throat was slashed open in the real world by an unseen source and blood sprayed over the wall. A moment later, two more wounds opened up on the minion's body, jagged stabs in his chest, and he dropped to the floor with a dying gurgle.

"Is that an apt demonstration?" The man asked Roman politely. The dandy's mind raced with the implications – a completely untraceable assassin? If they didn't see the reflection, there was no way of knowing who or what killed the target. Oh, yes, this would do nicely.

"It's absolutely perfect. When do the rest of you get here?"

"The remainder of Passione's first wave of assassins will be here soon." The man promised, his eyes trailing across Neo's body with a twisted look in them. Roman nodded, satisfied, shifting in front of his assistant protectively.

"Good, good…what's your name again?"

"Call me J Geil, Mister Torchwick. My partner is Hol Horse." Geil grinned. "Now, then…shall I meet your employer?"

A/N: Rewritten slightly, edited slightly, compressed. It actually looks like a story, now, instead of a jumbled mix of drabbles. Next chapter should be mostly new content, with the Sheer Heart Attack fight being replaced due to dropping Kira as the entrance JoJo villain to something a bit more manageable in terms of power level, along with DIO's appearance being shunted to later in the plot. Schedule being firmly set (starting next month) to 10,000 words a month, either in multiple chapters or a single one, it doesn't matter.

EDIT 01: hates my pagebreaks for some reason. Put them back in.