Disclaimer 1: Star Trek Voyager and its characters are the property of Paramount Pictures. I'm just taking them for a ride because I like things that can go really fast. No bodily harm was inflicted to Chakotay upon the writing of this story. Well, not much...

Disclaimer 2: The Phantom of the Opera along with its characters and lyrics belong to Andrew Lloyd Webber and probably some other people, but sadly, I'm not one of them. If I was, I'd be rich.

Rating: R for the series

Spoilers: Heavy Endgame spoilers

Author's Notes 1: I want to take a moment to thank my beta Chandi, who despite various problems with her comp managed to break the warp 10 barrier as she beta'ed this fic.

Author's Notes 2: Blame, and thanks, also goes out to three others (you know who you are!) who not only managed to keep a straight face when I asked the most important questions, like 'what color goes good... I mean - well, with green?' but actually give several answers and visuals to get me writing again.

Light blue eyes blinked into the darkness as the woman looked up at the ceiling above her bed. "Computer, time?"

"The time is 0512 hours." Sighing deeply, Captain Kathryn Janeway sat up, throwing the covers off her body and stretching. Tonight was the third consecutive night she had not been able to sleep for more then two hours, and it was starting to take its toll on her. She felt herself becoming more and more short-tempered, irritable, and rash. Maybe I should head to sickbay. I've never suffered from insomnia this badly before. Standing up and rolling her shoulders only to hear a telltale 'pop', she made up her mind – after the shift. It was less then 20 minutes later that she stepped into the mess hall, her command mask firmly in place as she greeted the staff members that looked up to catch her eye with a nod.

They had been in the Delta Quadrant for over half a decade now, and the people knew the character that was their captain well, and in this case she was glad for it: she could get her cup of coffee in peace.

"Good morning, Captain!" Neelix beamed a smile at her from where he stood across the counter. She gave him a pointed stare, the tiredness shining through her eyes taking most of the edge off. "You look like you haven't slept in days."

"Thank you, Neelix; you really know how to flatter a girl." He gave her a small smile.

"How about I whip you up some pancakes? I got a recipe from Ensign Green, and I've been waiting for a reason to try it for days." It was all the Captain could do to keep herself from shuddering.

"Thank you, Neelix, but I think I'll just stick with coffee right now. Maybe tomorrow."

"Are you sure?"

"I am. Thank you." She turned her eyes back to her cup hoping for a little time to let the brew kick in and up the dangerously low levels of caffeine in her system. It took her a couple of minutes to realize that her hopes wouldn't be fulfilled anytime soon. The Captain sighed deeply before placing her empty mug back on the counter and leaving the mess hall to head to the bridge for the beginning of her duty shift. The hallways leading to the bridge were relatively empty for this time of morning, for that Captain Janeway was happy: the less she had to interact with people today, the better. Hopefully there wouldn't be any requests for crew rotations so she could shut herself in the ready room for most of the shift. Unless they encounter an extremely hostile race. That would be just my luck...

"Captain on the bridge!" said a couple of young ensigns, happy to be leaving their shift soon.

"Morning, everyone." She smiled through her mask. "Report."

"All seems to be fine, Captain." Chakotay, her second in command, stood up from his chair and took a few steps so that he could stand closer to the woman. "Engines and Shields are at optimum efficiency, and scanners indicate a small class M plant not too far, though we still can't be sure in regards to the population."

"Can't be sure?" she inquired, slipping into her chair and crossing her arms in front of her as she leaned slightly back and crossed her legs at the knees.

"Yes. The planet seems... empty. There are no masses of civilization, no outgoing transmissions; it's as though the planet has not yet reached the evolutionary levels that earth had reached in 1000AD."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Captain." The voice answering her inquiry wasn't that of Chakotay, but higher and feminine. If it wasn't for the low levels of energy currently occupied solely by the tasks of keeping her body upright in a sitting position and her eyelids from drooping, she was sure she would have jumped to her feet, startled by the voice coming from her immediate right. Looking up to meet the blue eyes of her Astrometrics Officer, she made a small gesture for the former Borg drone to continue. "I have run scans of the planet's surface on both the short and long range scanners and so far I am unable to locate any masses of population, large or small."

As she looked at the woman, she couldn't help but see the transformation that had occurred since they had severed the statuesque blue-eyed blonde from the Borg collective just a few years ago. In that time, she had seen the younger woman flourish from the Borg drone who wanted noting but to return to the comfort of the collective, the only kind of family she knew, even going so far as to try and take over the ship and hurt its Captain in attempt to free herself. But as the Borg collective was all Seven knew at the time, the attempt wasn't taken all that seriously by the older woman, especially since it failed so miserably.

"There are no signals emitted from the planet, no satellites, nothing?" Chakotay shook his head.

"None, Captain, not even radio signals." She frowned.

"All right. Maintain course and keep scanning. If there is intelligent life down there, I don't want to interfere with them, even if they are in biblical times. The last thing we need is to start a new religion."

"Why not?" her first officer shot her an amused smirk. "Didn't you ever want to play god?" The only response he got was an exasperated look from the sitting woman and a raised eyebrow from the other.

"I was unaware that one could 'play god'. How does one..." She stopped at a small wave of the Captain's hand as the older woman rose to her feet.

"It's a figure of speech, Seven. It means someone who controls and manipulates people's fates on a whim." She could almost see the nanobots scurrying around in the younger woman's head as she filed the information for future use.

"The same way you do on this ship?" All activity in the bridge stopped as heads were turned in direction of the pair, wondering how their captain will answer. For her part, the auburn haired captain was trying not to let her jaw hit the floor in shock and hurt. Why hurt? Is that... This is Seven asking for information. Don't read anymore then there is into this, Kathryn.

"I am the ship's Captain, I am responsible for what the vessel does as a whole and hence - to the productivity and welfare of its occupants. But I don't decide on matters based on my personal wills and desires alone. I do what is best for the ship and the people in it."

"I see." Kathryn sighed before turning back to Chakotay.

"You have the bridge, Commander; I'll be in my ready room." As she turned on her heel and started to leave, she added quietly, intending her words for the tall woman alone: "When said to someone, the phrase is usually an insult, Seven." The ready room doors closed behind her before she could get a response. Sitting down at her chair, she mentally counted back, expecting the door to chime. But when she had reached zero for the second time and was still left in silence, she smiled sadly and rose to her feet, getting a cup of coffee before sitting down again to work through the PADD's waiting her attention.

The next time she raised her head slightly to ask the computer for the time, it was nearly the end of her shift. And after having been alone in her ready room almost all day and never once hearing from Seven, she decided to head to Astrometrics. Maybe this way she could at least find out if the scans on the planet have revealed anything new. She took the long way to the lab, walking by a couple of hallways which held windows facing the planet and stopping to look at the sight.

They weren't as close as to allow her to see more then a small half-marble painted in blue and white, but the vision was breathtaking. It looked almost like Earth, and for the life of her she wasn't sure if that was a good or a bad thing. On the one hand - it was hope. But on the other hand, that resemblance only served as a reminder of the place they had lost. Of the people left behind, the families parted without knowledge of when and if they would ever return. It was an image representing her failure. She turned away from the windowed halls and headed deeper into the ship, closing her eyes for a moment before once again squaring her shoulders and moving in purpose-filled strides. Her crew could not see her like this. They could not see their captain when she's doubting, hurting, and weak.

It took less then five minutes to find herself in front of the doors that would lead her to Seven, and after running her fingers once through her hair, she moved to a spot where the doors would open for her and she could enter.

The tall woman turned to face her as the doors closed her face and eyes a blank. "Good... afternoon Captain," Seven said after calculating the appropriate phrasing of her greeting. I thought I was getting better at reading her.

"Good afternoon, Seven," she replied as she stepped closer to the work console, leaning against it in what she hoped looked more like nonchalance then fatigue. "Is there anything new in regards to the planet?"

"No, Captain. I have run scans at one hour intervals since the planet was first sighted. At the speed that Voyager is traveling, scanning at shorter intervals would not be as efficient." Kathryn nodded.

"If we maintain course and speed, we should arrive within beaming distance to the planet in about three days. When we do, I plan to set up a few away teams that will go down to the planet and collect any materials that could replenish our supplies. Would you like to join one of the teams?"

"I believe I would."

"Good. In that case..." the Captain gently pushed herself away from the console and to a more upright stance only to have the room spin round her for a moment. She closed her eyes, willing the room to stop before attempting to reopen them, only to find the other woman standing closer to her, her eyes showing her concern.

"Are you... all right Captain?"

"I'm fine Seven." the shorter woman replied quickly, hoping to delay any other questions and suggestions. "I'm just tired. I think I'll call it a night early today." An eyebrow arched. "It means - go to bed."

"I see."

I know this place... this meadow... Those mountains! I'm home! The captain of the U.S.S. Voyager looked around, her joy swelling in her chest as she started up the near by hill, knowing that behind it she will finally be able to see the place she had missed all these long years: her mother's farmhouse. Her smile and stride grew with each step she took until she was running, 'captain decorum' be damned.

She reached the top of the hill with her eyes closed tightly, wanting to experience the full force of the vision awaiting her. The gentle breeze pushed her hair back behind her shoulders as she stopped to catch her breath. She realized then that that soft wind in the trees was all she heard: there were no voices, no birds, no machinery, nothing. It was just her breath and the wind.

Twin blue eyes shot open and the woman fell to her knees in the grass as the view struck her like a physical blow. There was no farmhouse, no barn, and no trees. Nothing but grassland. Above her, a second yellow sun joined the first in the sky as if taunting her. Laughing at the notion that caught her in its grip, all she could do was scream out her pain. She didn't, she couldn't, stop the tears as she sobbed for the home she lost, the family she missed, a whole planet left behind. Lowering her shoulders, she bent almost painfully low, burying her face in her hands and her shoulder in the tall grass as she wept.

She only rose slightly when she felt a presence behind her. Strong, yet comforting and soft. She wouldn't turn around. She can't let this person see her like this. Not when she could at least maintain some of her dignity. But the presence showed no need for that and just stood behind her, allowing her to absorb the sense of peace and comfort it emitted.

After a few moments, she could feel it moving, and a soft weight was placed against her shoulders and back, the feeling of company and comfort now radiating from there. Raising her head and daring to look, she was that the stranger? had placed a soft, woolen fabric on her shoulders and let it hang from her back. The color was a mixture of white and light browns and by the shape of the garment she wasn't sure if it was a blanket or a cloak. But it didn't matter, she was no longer alone.

Captain Kathryn Janeway sat at her ready room desk, a cup of hot coffee at hand as she ran the events of last night's dream through her mind for a second time that morning. These dreams had started two days ago and were now a reoccurring fixture in her sleepless nights. It was the same every night for nearly a week now - she would go to bed, sleep for less then two hours and wake up with a new dream fresh in her mind. In her dreams, she was as alone as she felt in her waking hours, but then that presence would come and she would be safe and warm. They never spoke in her dreams, nor did she ever see the figure which stood so close to her. But the presence alone was enough to calm her.

After the first night, she woke up feeling rested. But the feeling fled her body as soon as she sat up. It has been so for three nights now, and by the end of today - they would reach the planet, and maybe a night on the surface with an away team would be the cure for her insomnia.

The chime to her door sounded, startling her out of her reverie and she straightened as she called the person on the outside of her door to enter. The doors swished open and she smiled to see Chakotay motioning for Seven to enter before him, and immediately had to suppress a frown as she watched him look at the woman walk.

"Report."

"We have reached orbit, Captain, and are ready to begin site to site transport of the away teams," stated her second. She nodded.

"Do you have anything to add, Seven?"

"No, Captain. However I wish to inquire as to the possibility of..." she paused, "exploring the planet's surface with one of the away teams leaving today." Janeway sighed as she placed her mug down on the table, then stood up and headed to the windows, looking out at the azure orb dotted with white. When they were in viewing distance of the planet, people rushed to available windows, hoping to see a semblance to the planet they left behind. She was glad that they didn't. The geography of the orb made that distinction very prominent, very soon, as the two masses of land that covered about a sixth of the surface looked too different and shape and color than they ere supposed to. The red soil served as a reminder that they were still strangers here, that they still had a way to go. Not that I could ever forget.

"I would rather you didn't go this early in the exploration Seven. There are still matters that need your attention on deck. But you will be on surface tomorrow."

"Captain..."

"No, Seven." Her voice was cold and firm, much more than she thought it would be, and the Captain tried not to wince at its harshness as she cut the woman off. "You are needed here. You will leave tomorrow. Dismissed, both of you."

"Yes, Captain."

"Understood." Unlike Seven, who turned on her heel and left, Chakotay took a moment to look at her before he left, and for the life of her she didn't know which had hurt more, or why she was so hard on the young woman. There was no reason. I will go after her and apologize.

Raising herself from the couch, the woman was able to take two steps before collapsing on the floor.

After the second time he chimed and got no permission to enter, Tom Paris decided he would wait no longer and enter anyway, knowing that there was no way that the Captain hadn't heard the chime. He wasn't completely through the door when he dropped the PADD he was carrying and ran to his captain, turning her over so that he had easier access to her pulse point. "Computer, site to site transport, two to beam directly to sickbay."

"Please state the nature of the medical emergency." The doctor appeared stating the old customary greeting before grinning to himself and looking about to see Tom in the same position he had taken in the ready room: kneeling with the captain in his arms. "Oh my goodness! Quickly Tom, get her on the biobed."

Word was quickly out to Chakotay, and from him to all the senior staff regarding the captain's incapacitation, and it was not long before Tom, B'Elanna, Tuvok, Harry Kim and Seven joined him in an out of the way conference room.

"Tom, since you were with the Doctor, you give the update." Five sets of eyes turned to the man and he leaned forward in his seat, entwining his fingers as he placed his elbows on the table top.

"Captain Janeway is in sickbay. I found her lying on the floor of her ready room and took her the Doctor almost an hour ago. He says this is exhaustion, so we have nothing to fear, but he injected her with enough drugs go get a horse to sleep for a week." Chakotay took lead of the conversation from there.

"This means I will be taking command of Voyager, which will leave me unable to lead the Alpha team. I know that all of you have a lot of work that needs to be done, but I would greatly appreciate it if one of you took my place. I would rather a senior officer lead them." He turned to the blonde woman staring at the tabletop, "Seven, how about you?" Blue eyes slowly rose to meet his own.

"I don't that's wise, Chakotay," a second female voice interjected. "No offense, Seven, but the Alpha team needs to be led by someone who knows how to command, and Seven is more of a loner than a leader."

"Well, there isn't an abundance of commanders on this ship."

"No, but there are department heads."

"I concur. While we can not question the capability of Seven, we can not let the de-facto leader of all the teams be an inexperienced one." B'Elanna nodded.

"I say let Tuvok do it. He has the experience, and the people will take him replacing you better than..." She cringed slightly. "I'm sorry, Seven, I didn't mean for it to sound like that. What I meant was..."

"Lieutenant Torres," the cool voice cut her off. "I have comprehended your meaning and do not find it hurtful. You may continue."

"That was my whole point actually. What do you think Tuvok?"

"That would be the most logical course of action," he agreed.

"All right, in that case: Tuvok, come with me and we'll let the other team leaders know of the change. The reason for it does not, however, leave this room. Dismissed." Seven only noticed her surroundings again when she stepped through the doors to sickbay. She hadn't noticed walking this way, or telling the turbo lift to take her where she needed to go, but she was here nonetheless and the Doctor was headed her way.

"Good morning Seven!" he beamed at her. "What can I do for you this morning?"

"I am here to see the Captain."

"The Captain?" he looked perplexed. "She isn't here Seven." Her brow furrowed in confusion.

"The Commander had stated that..."

"Shh!" He took her by the arm to his office and stood facing the doorway. "The Commander and I have agreed to keep the matter of the Captain's... condition on a need to know basis so that it doesn't affect moral. People on ships tend to be a superstitious lot at times." He chuckled softly. Seven's pointed stare made sure he soon picked up this line of thought. "Anyway, since there was no danger, and what the Captain needed most is rest, then I have moved her to her quarters." When the woman looked as though she was ready to protest, he raised his hand indicating that he was not yet finished. "I was, however, hoping that I could be allowed to share this "secret" with another individual that will be willing to look after her: watch her to see that her condition is not deteriorating, that my diagnostic was indeed correct. Not that I doubt that in the least, but it never hurts to make sure."

"I will do it."

"Seven, you don't have to do this. I'm sure I can find some crew member that will be..."

"Your protests are futile. You have stated that the Captain's condition will be divulged only to those who need to know it. I already know and it will hence be more efficient to let me look after her instead of informing another crewmember and hoping that this person will not speak of the matter, even after we break orbit and continue our journey home."

After a short moment to think over her words, the Doctor agreed and handed her a tricorder. "I would suggest you take several PADDs with you. It will probably be hours before she wakes."