BPOV
I have a boyfriend that grew up with me. His name is Edward Cullen. I always thought of him as a friend until last year, when we went to a trip from a club called 'Volterra'. I found out that after all these years, I had fallen in love with him. So, before that trip was over, I took a step and confessed my love for him.
And soon, we became a pair of lovers, but we loved each other in different ways. I was always concentrated on him only, but by his side, there were so many other girls. To me, he was the only one I see, but to him, maybe I was just another girl.
"Edward, do you want to go watch a movie?" I asked.
"I can't", he answered quickly.
I whimpered. "Why? You need to study at home?" I felt disappointment bubble up inside me.
"No, Bella. I am going to meet… a friend."
He was always like that. He makes up sick excuses and met girls in front of me, like it was nothing. To him, I was just a girlfriend. The word 'love' only came out from my mouth. Since the moment that we became an item, I had never heard him say 'I love you' until present.
To us, there weren't any anniversaries at all. He didn't say anything from the first day and it continued till 100 days passed and then 200days passed and that went on every day. But before we say goodbye, he would just hand me a doll, everyday, without any fail. And I have no idea why.
Then it happened.
"Um Edward, I…"
"What? Don't drag. Just say it, Bella." Edward said encouragingly.
I took a quick intake of breath, "I love you."
Edward's eyes widened. "W-what? Y-you? Uh? Just take this doll and go home, Bella. Y-you're just tired. Get a grip and rest."
That was how he ignored my 'three words' and handed me the doll. Then he disappeared, like he was running away. The dolls I received from him every day filled my room, one by one. And its number started growing.
Then one day came, my 17th birthday. When I got up in the morning, I pictured a party with him in it and I did have a party with my friends and family but he never came. After the party was over I still waited and stranded myself in my room, waiting for his call or presence. But time passed and soon the sky was very dark and he still didn't call or show up.
It was already tiring to look at my phone anymore. And then around 2am in the morning, he suddenly called me and woke me from my sleep. He told me to come out of the house. Even though I was still pissed at him, I ran out happily.
I smiled at him and caressed his face with my hand, "Edward."
He just smiled a little and said, "Here, Bella. Take this."
I became curious but then again, he handed me a doll.
I stared at him, coldly. "What's this?"
He just shrugged, "I didn't give it to you yesterday, so I am giving it to you now. I'm going home now, Bella. Goodbye!"
He started turning away but I jogged after him, "Wait, wait! Do you know what today is?"
He just stared at me, confused, although his confusion didn't reach his eyes.
"Today, Bella? What are you talking about?"
I felt so sad. I thought he would remember my birthday. He turned around once again and walked away like nothing had happened .Then I shouted again.
"Wait!"
Edward turned around again. "Do you have something to say?"
I reached for his face as I held them carefully.
"Edward, please. Tell me. Please tell me that you love me." I literally begged.
Edward removed my hands from his face but they only landed on his chest and he stared at me like I just told him the most ridiculous thing in the world, "W-what?"
I sobbed as I clutched onto his shirt tightly, "P-please E-Edward. Tell me."
I put my pathetic self behind and clung on to him tighter. But he just said simple cold words.
He just shook his head and looked up at me, his eyes holding no emotion, "I don't want to say that I love someone so easily, if you are desperate to hear it, and then find someone else. I am not the one you need."
That was what he said. Then he ran off. My legs felt numb and I collapsed as my legs met the ground. He didn't want to say it easily. How could he? I felt as if he wasn't the right guy for me.
After that day, I locked myself at home crying, just crying. He didn't call me, although I was waiting. He just continued leaving little dolls every morning outside my house. That's how those dolls piled up in my room the more.
After a month, I got myself together and went back to school. But what made the pain resurface was that I saw him on a street with another girl. He had this smile on his face, one that he never showed me.
I ran straight back home and looked at the dolls in my room, and tears fell shortly after.
Why did he give these to me?
Those dolls were probably picked out by some other girls. In a fit of anger, I threw those pathetic dolls around.
Again, I locked myself up and after a week my phone suddenly rang. It was him. He told me to come out to the bus stop outside my house.
I tried to calm myself down and walked to the bus stop. I kept reminding myself that I am going to break up with him and forget him that I am going to end this pain. This is how we're going to end. He came into my sight, holding a big doll.
Edward smiled widely as I approached him, "Bella, I thought you were still pissed at me because of the other day, but you really came?" He said as he pulled me in for a hug and a kiss on my forehead and on my lips.
I couldn't help hating him, acting as if nothing happened that hurt me and then kissing me for what, the first time again after a month or so. I just groaned as he soon he held out another doll, as usual.
I sighed, "I don't need another one of that, Edward." I said, flatly.
Edward just looked at me, sadness and hurt visible in his features.
"W-why, Bella? I-I..." he stammered as I grabbed the doll from his hands and threw it on the road.
I crossed my arms and screamed at him, "I don't need this doll, I don't need it anymore! I am sick of your pathetic dolls, Edward! I don't even know why you always give me one of those. And I don't want to see a person like you again!"
I spat out all the words that were inside me. And I felt relieved the moment it was already out and I turned to look at Edward, expecting to see him calm. But I was wrong. His eyes were fixed on the road: the exact spot where the doll is, although, unlike any other day, his frame was shaking.
I gasped softly as I saw a tear run down his cheek, "I-I'm sorry, Bella. I really am." He apologized in a soft, audible voice. He then walked over the road to pick up the doll.
I started making signs for him to come back here with me by the bus stop, "Edward! Are you insane? Why are you picking up that stupid doll? Just throw it away! Please, come back here. Edward! Listen to me!"
I tried my best to make him come back but he just ignored me and went to pick the doll up.
HONK! HONK! HONK!
With loud honks, a big truck was heading towards him.
My gaze was only fixed on him as I urged him to move away, "Edward! Move! Move away!" I shouted. But he didn't hear me and squatted down and picked up the doll.
"Edward, please. Move away!"
CRASH!
It was the most terrifying sound that I had ever heard.
Edward was hit by the truck and he flew away. A loud thud rang through my ears as he hit the ground on the other end of the street. I sobbed as I quickly shuffled my pocket for my phone and speed dialed for an ambulance. I told them where we were and hung up and went for him.
"Edward!" I cried as I heard the faint sound of the siren as people passing by started surrounding us.
Edward's eyes were drooping and he was losing blood at a fast rate, "B-Bella, I-I'm s-sorry." He said as he managed to bring his hand up to my cheeks, wiping at my tears. "I-I…the d-doll B-Bella. G-Good… g-goodbye. I-I lo-"he quietly choked and his hand fell from my cheeks.
That's how he went away from me. And even until his last breath, he didn't forget to remember his dolls. He lied dead on the ground with the doll in his arms.
Soon, the case was pronounced as a 'Hit and Run'. It was pretty obvious since we were alone and the car was speeding away. I didn't have time to get the plate number since my gaze was only fixed on him. Nothing but him.
After that day, I had to go through every day with guiltiness and the sadness of losing him. I didn't have any idea that he will be taken away from me like that. How I wished I didn't throw that stupid doll on the road and that I didn't put up a fight with him, with myself.
Two months passed I always stayed at home spending my time thinking about Edward; all the memories we shared even though there weren't many.
Soon, after getting lost in thought, I took out the dolls.
Those were the only gifts he left me since the day we started going out. I recalled all the days I spent with him and started to count the days when we were 'in love'.
"One…two… three…" that was how I started to count the dolls he had given me.
"Four hundred and eighty four… Four hundred and eighty five…" it all ended with 485 dolls.
I then started to cry again, with all those tiny dolls in my arms. I hugged them tightly telling myself that I was hugging Edward. And then suddenly:
"I love you, Bella. I love you." I dropped all the dolls, shocked.
My eyes widened as I whispered, "I-I…love…you?" I picked up a doll and pressed its stomach.
"I love you, Bella. I love you." I gasped. It can't be! I pressed each dolls' stomach as I placed each one on the side, piling them up.
I love you, Bella.
I love you.
I love you, Bella.
I love you.
Those words came out non-stop. 'I love you'. My legs started to shake and I soon found myself on the floor, sobbing. Why didn't I realize that, that his heart was always by my side, protecting me. Why didn't I realize that he loved me this much?
I stared at the floor for a second and took out the long forgotten doll under the bed and pressed its stomach that was the last doll, the one that he had in his arms when he died. It had his blood stain on it.
A familiar voice came out, like the other dolls had. It was the one that I had been missing so much. It was Edward's.
"Bella, do you know what today is? Well if you forgot, we've been loving each other for 486 days, already. Do you know what 486 is? I-I'm sorry, Bella. All these time, I couldn't say I love you to you since, well, um… since I was too shy to say it. If you forgive me and take this doll, I will say that I love you every day, Bella. I promise; until the day I die. Bella, I love you so much. Always remember that. I love you. "
I could literally hear him smiling through his voice. I heard the affection and the love behind it. Soon, the tears came flowing down as I hugged the doll.
Why, why?
Every now and then, I always asked God why this happened. Why do I only know about all this now? Why He had let this all happen to us? Why?
But I didn't regret God's love for me and I told myself that this was for the better. I realized that he can't be by my side now, but he loved me until his last minute, until his last breath and he spent it with me.
Now I know that it is really for the better because that gave me a reason to make me stand up again and have courage; to move on and live a beautiful life.
The End
Hey guys! lovabletwilighter17 here. :)) So, I noticed that a lot of you had been adding this story to your favorites but some don't leave me a review. :( And it makes me sad because I don't have any idea of what you thought when you finished reading this at all. :(( So please, if you don't mind, PLEASE REVIEW! :-bd Okay? Thaaaaaanks! ;)
