Disclaimer: Prince of Tennis (Tenisu no Ojisama) does not belong to me, sadly.

Pairing: Oshitari x Atobe, Tezuka x Atobe (One-sided), Tezuka x Fuji

Genre: Angst/Romance/Slash

Rating: R

Summary:

Atobe loves Tezuka but Tezuka loves Fuji. Feeling frustrated and blinded by fury, Atobe seeks Oshitari as a substitute. Not that Oshitari minds.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Substitute

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How dare he reject me!? Does he know who am I? I'm the Atobe Keigo! The captain of a two hundred member tennis club! The best player in the whole of Hyotei! And if I want, I could have asked father to buy the whole Seigaku! How dare he reject me! Doesn't he know he made a mistake by choosing him over me?!

"I'm sorry Atobe. I only love two things – tennis and Fuji."

 

Does he even know he just rejected one of the world's best creations on earth! I'm an Atobe and being an Atobe means I get my hands on whatever ever I want. I never felt so humiliated before in my life! First time, in my life, I actually experience the taste of being pathetic and not on the winning side. This is ridiculous.

Ah… it is raining, perhaps, it is crying for me as well. Or perhaps it is telling me that I can't have Tezuka forever. Or perhaps it is mocking me, laughing at me for being so foolishly in love with someone who doesn't even care whether I'm dead or alive.

I detest the word "love".

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ah. Atobe-sama, you're back," my butler greeted me as he held out a towel for me. Sometimes it amazes me greatly how he knew such things. Then again, it was his responsibility to serve me 24/7. Taking the towel, I threw it over my head and headed upstairs to my room. I was in no mood for conversations. "Oshitari-san is upstairs waiting for you," he continued as he followed behind me. I absent-minded nodded and waved my hand as an indication that he (my butler) was free to do anything he wants till I requested for his service later.

I opened the door, scanning for Oshitari. Oshitari had been a good friend of mine since he joined the regulars, and often visited me, knowing every single detail of this castle of mine. In fact, he knew it better than me. It was no surprise that he decided to drop in out of the blue. Perhaps it would be good to have his company today.

"Oshitari?" I called out, while throwing the towel to the chair nearby. Apparently he wasn't in the room. Looking at where my cellphones were, I decided to check them. Perhaps that bastard decided to change his mind. Nope, he didn't call. Not even a single message. In sheer frustration, I threw the phone I was holding, down to the carpeted ground, where it broke into three pieces. I felt like that phone, broken and fallen apart.

"Atobe," Oshitari called from behind. He walked towards me, and for a brief moment, I thought I saw Tezuka.

Sometimes I wonder if I actually allowed Oshitari to stay close to me in Hyotei was because he has this slight resemblance to Tezuka. There were times when I insisted that he tied his hair, so that I could pretend that he was Tezuka. Of course, I never told him this.

But that moment, behind those eyes of fear and worry, I saw Tezuka. Perhaps I was blinded by fury and frustration. I pulled Oshitari towards me and kissed him, hard, bruised and hurting. He was shocked, I could tell by the sudden stiffness in his body. Releasing his already swollen lips, I held his wrist and dragged him towards the bed. Pushing him down the soft-silken-bedsheet mattress, I climbed on top of him, kissing his earlobe. Nibbling on it and licking it. His body relaxed, and his arms encircled around my waist, pulling me close to him. I traveled down his neck, and bit down hard till it left a mark. He gasped, not in pain, but a mixture of pain and sexual pleasure. He slid his hands under my wet shirt and tried to remove the clothing, however it seems to have stuck on me. I detached myself from him and removed the offending clothing and at the same time, removed his, off him. I placed my hand on his spectacles, wondering if I should remove it. Before I could decide, he held my hand, and moved it from his specs to his lips. "Leave it," he whispered and began kissing my palm. Kissing my palm to my wrist to my arm, he skillfully flipped us around. Now he was on top, while I was below.

He smiled and planted gentle kisses on my eyes. "Just close your eyes," he whispered again. I obeyed him, pretending that the person I'm making love to now was him. His lips sucking on my earlobe. His tongue leaving a wet trail down my neck. His hands roaming around stomach. His fingers dancing across my chest.  My hands moved towards his hair, toying with it. Every time he teased me, I would grab and tug his hair and moaned out loud. That was how good he was in my mind.

He then detached his hands and mouth from my body. I was tempted to open my eyes, but they were covered by one of his hands. With the other hand, he slid off my pants. I closed my eyes to enjoy the sensation that was going through my mind. He removed his hand and placed both palms on my hips. I could sense that he was down there; despite the fact my eyes were still closed. I could feel his breath through the silk boxers of mine.

Suddenly, I felt a certain wetness and coldness through my boxers. I gave a sharp inhale by the shock of his tongue playing with my aroused length through my boxers. It sent shivers up my spine. Instinctively, I thrust my hips; however his strong hands held me down. I did this several times, especially when he gave a small nibble at the tip. I made a muffled cry, telling him not to tease me anymore. He released his hands and began to play the with elastic band of my boxers, lifting my lower back up anxiously, he slid the garment off me, and went back to where he was just now.

He was breathing hard and fast. I could hear and feel it. With one hand on my hip, the other playing with my length, he blew the tip of my length as he began stroking it gently, up and down. I didn't know how loud my moan was, but it was definitely not very soft. He then wrapped his long slender fingers around it, moving them up and down, licking the tip. My breath became hard and erratic, grasping for air. Then he let go. Keeping my eyes close so as not to ruin the dream, I whimpered, waiting more. He cannot leave me so unsatisfied, and he certainly will not. He did not disappoint me as I felt his mouth engulfing my whole length. His mouth was warm and moist, and his tongue would do things that never in my mind would have thought of it. My hips started to have a life of its own as it began thrusting in his mouth, and my eyes were seeing beautiful stars of ecstasy. He was trying his best to hold me down, to ensure that he does not get choked.

Suddenly, it felt cold again. He removed his mouth and placed them beside my ears, "don't open your eyes yet." Rampaging of the night drawer next to my bed, he found something useful, I suppose. He noisily and hastily removed his pants and boxers and sat between my legs again. He lifted them up over his shoulder and began kissing my inner thighs. He then slid one finger in my entrance, causing me to jerk from where I lay. It hurt, damn it! Yet wherever his finger met, it was obviously wonderful, for I was in ecstasy again. His coated his fingers with something cold and slippery for easier entrance I suppose. I don't think I want to imagine how it feels without it. He slid his finger out and with the previous finger, he slid another one in. It hurt a lot, yet it was so wonderfully amazing. He repeated the cycle until three of his fingers were in. Sliding in and out of me. He was kissing my inner thighs and occasionally licking and sucking. He then removed his fingers, causing a slight emptiness in me.

I didn't know why, but I opened my eyes. I looked down at him. His expression was sad and forlorn, yet there was this aura of tiny happiness. It was then reality hit me. It wasn't Tezuka, it was Oshitari. Sensing it, he avoided my gaze and closed his eyes, kissing my thighs as he whispered in the empty room, "you can call his name if you want to. I don't mind. Really..."

"I…," I didn't know how to reply. He then moved up above me again. I was staring in his piercing blue eyes. It was filled with sadness, yet he was smiling. He kissed my eyelids again, making sure I close them before whispering again, "don't open them yet. Continue the dream." And with that, he slid himself in me, sliding in and out. Something in me was hurting. It was either because my entrance was being stretched, or my heart was tearing into pieces. The feeling of him hitting the spot that drove me insane was driving me nuts. It was amazing. I could feel myself, wanting to explode into pieces. In my mind was his face. "Ah… ah! Tezuka!" I screamed. The harder and faster he thrust himself in me, the more I cried his name. I could feel myself coming, waiting for the right moment for it. He hit the spot hard. I screamed his name and came between his stomach and me. I could feel myself tightening around him, and he came in me as well. He didn't scream, but gave a muffled cry in my hair, with his head in the crook of my neck.

Both of us were panting hard, breathing in as much oxygen as possible. He then slid out of me, and rolling off to the left side of the bed. I could feel the coolness of the room after he rolled off me. The dampness of our perspiration and mess made it a lot colder than normal. I opened my eyes and turned to see the person I just made love with. His back was facing me, but I could see him breathing hard, trying to catch his breath. His hair was in a shade of dark indigo blue. It was long, just reaching his shoulder. He wasn't Tezuka. He was Oshitari Yuushi. My face started to feel damp and wet. I was crying. Out of sorrow, out of guilt, I do not know. All I know my heart ached and I couldn't stop the tears from coming. The tears began to blur my vision and I couldn't see Oshitari anymore. Bring my hands to my face, I buried my face in my palms and started crying out loud. It just hurt so badly as if someone was stabbing my heart with a dagger and twisting it. Suddenly, I felt strong arms around me. Oshitari pulled me into his chest and began stroking my head. He gave gentle tiny kisses to my forehead and hushed me.

"Shh… don't cry, don't cry," he said. "It's alright now. Everything's fine now." He then tilted my face towards his and kissed my tears away.

"But…but…," was all I can say.

"It's okay. I don't mind. As long I can be with you, I don't mind at all. I know I will never have a place in your heart, but as long I can be with you, never away from you, I don't mind," he said so lovingly that I could not bear to meet his eyes. I buried my face in his chest as he held me closer. "As long, I can love you… I don't mind. I don't mind if I'm your substitute for Tezuka. As long as … as long as I can stay beside you, I'm fine with it."

I was stunned at Oshitari's words. How can one person love someone so deeply till he is willing to sacrifice so much? Perhaps, one day I would understand and would be able to reciprocate his love for me. I will love him for him and not as someone else.

We laid there, me in his arms, till the evening fell upon us.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Author's Notes:

=_________= Atobe sounds so OOC. I'M SO SORRY I TRASHED THEM. :'( And I'm so sorry for torturing them. *sigh* I don't feel very good even after writing this angsty piece. My heart was practically aching while writing it. *sigh* And I think the ending's crap. Oh well.

Edit (12th Feb 2004):

Added some grammatical errors =_____= mengo mengo!