Disclaimer: The characters and situations belong to L.J. Smith and other respective copyright holders.
Warning: Spoilers for Isobel. Kind of. E/S, E/D.
Loyalty
A little while before Founder's Day, Elena has a contemplative moment.
She loves him.
Of course Elena Gilbert loves Stefan Salvatore. The question of 'if not' has never crossed her mind. And there is no question of degree either. She loves him wholly, completely. She loves him so much; it sometimes hurts to think about it, thinking him gone, thinking herself dead. Because it will happen one day. Death.
Elena's thought more and more about it lately, dying.
Walking through the corridors of the house, it's impossible to not notice some things haven't changed. The carvings on the mantelpiece, the dusty books on the shelves. That picture of Katherine. Katherine, who hasn't changed a bit either. Katherine, who is still seventeen and beautiful, who will be for eternity. Katherine, who is likely living it up somewhere (too close by) in the arms of some lush, rich, gullible human.
Katherine hasn't forgotten the Salvatore brothers.
Do you enjoy both of them, like Katherine did?
Elena's afraid. She's heard the tales. She's seen the worst and best of Stefan Salvatore. And she's definitely seen something close to the worst of Damon Salvatore. She remembers Damon that night he learned of Katherine's betrayal, how the knowledge broke him. He became very different after that, a little more vulnerable, a little more human. Much more dangerous.
It's not a game anymore. Elena knew when she was a pawn in 'How Can I Piss Off Stefan?' Sometimes, she wishes she still is. It was easier knowing when to run away, when Damon was the Big Bad Wolf. He would always have his game face on: the lowered lids, the barely-there smile. The combination of predator and seduction was unnervingly irresistible. And still is. H looks at all girls that way, but not Elena. Not anymore.
And it… hurts.
She can't think about it.
But, so, she's tempted. Who wouldn't be tempted by Damon Salvatore? Perhaps Stefan's more handsome. No, Stefan is definitely more handsome. More rugged, more manly. Better. Better for her. Elena sees other girls looking at Stefan covetously. Stefan doesn't notice. Damon, on the other hand, basks in the attention like a sunlight-starved sunflower, like the blood-starved vampire he is, as though by merely letting others look, he can bleed their adoration dry.
Damon is brutal.
Stefan is vulnerable.
Damon is self-assured
Stefan is too, but…
Damon wants her.
Stefan needs her.
And Elena loves Stefan. She knew it the very first time she lay her eyes on him. She knows this, and she will not waver. She loves Stefan, his strength, his morality. She loves his smiles, his kisses, and his ruffled hair. She loves the way he talks. She loves the way he looks at her, and she loves looking at him. She loves knowing he's the one.
But sometimes she's tempted.
Always, she knows.
If she breaks his heart, the guilt will break her mind.
Elena Gilbert is not Katherine Pierce.