Banner's Banner

by Old Emerald Eye

Where Darcy's learning how to deal with Tony, Pepper just wants everyone to go to sleep, everyone else is out getting shawarma, and Tony has the alcohol content of a small country. Dialogue only oneshot.

"What is that?"

"'Tis a banner. A banner for Banner."

"It's a green sheet, Tony."

"Banner's banner."

"Tony, you're drunk. Go home."

"This is home."

"Stop using logic, please."

"But – logic."

"Logic is for sober Tony. This Tony …"

"Banner like Banner's banner?"

"Banner no here -what am I saying -"

"No, you're doing fine."

"But – but – Science!"

"No, Tony. Bed."

"But -"

"Don't make me get Pepper."

...

"...Pepper?"

"Yes?"

"You just threatened to call yourself to deal with him."

"It worked, didn't it?"

"Yeah, that's the bit that worries me. What was he drinking again? Cause if I could get my hands on some of that -"

"Azgardian moonshine."

"Definitely black-market material then."

"Darcy? Sleep. Now. Don't make me call Pepper."