Xanatos glanced up from where he was talking with other Padawans. He avoided the eyes of Tel; his rival. They were arranging an impromptu sparring tournament. Xanatos had to beat Tel; he just had to.
"Get out of there," he called to a nosy group of younglings poking around near their things. After a second the group scattered.
Xanatos wandered over to pick up his training saber. He and Tel found a corner of the gym to spar in. They bowed to each other.
The dueling began.
OOOOO
"Come here," Xanatos hissed at a bush. "I know you're there. You better come out."
No answer came from the bush; not a rustle or whimper. There was no yelp of terror as Xanatos pushed away flat green leaves. There was no squeak of pain as he found his target and dragged him out by his Padawan braid, delivering a kick to his side as he did so.
A youngling around eight years old, with blue eyes that quivered as he fought back tears, was sprawled out in front of him. He was trying to be brave; to face the trouble he was in head on.
"Crybaby!" Xanatos taunted, his foot hovering an inch from the boy's nose. "Apologize!"
"I'm… I'm sorry," This time, the Youngling really was crying.
"I'm sorry what?" Xanatos demanded, his foot hovering an inch from the boy's nose.
"For breaking your training saber!" It came out as a wail.
"Sabotaging," Xanatos seethed. "For sabotaging it." The boot came down on his nose.
Through a mouthful of salty blood, the boy moaned, "I'm sorry for sabotaging your training saber."
"You're right," Xanatos threatened. He held up his bandaged right hand. "You wanted me to lose, you little coward! You wanted Tel to win, you wimp! You think you can-"
"-Xani," There was a hushed whisper behind the 14 year old. Xanatos ceased his barrage to slowly turn around. Tahl stood behind him, slack jawed, her eyes round with shock. "You did this?" she asked, hoping the answer was no. Qui-Gon Jinn's Padawan would never do such a thing. Not Qui-Gon's.
"No," Xanatos said flatly. "No."
Tahl's horrified gaze slowly transformed to one of disgust. "Don't lie to me, Xanatos. I know your Master better than anyone else."
"Then you know I didn't do it," Xanatos said with a threateningly calm voice. Tahl was unphased. "I know you've been prone to angry outbursts." As she spoke she moved forward to examine the young victim. "Does anything else hurt?" She asked gently, slowly lifting his head up off the ground.
The youngling was too scared of Xanatos's revenge and the punishment he would get if they found out he had deliberately messed with a training saber. He meekly answered, "No."
Tahl produced a cloth for him to hold against his nose. "What's your name, sweetie?"
"Dole."
"Dole. Your nose isn't broken, but you still need to see the Healers." Tahl paused, contemplating leaving Xanatos to escort the boy or letting him go on his own.
"I know the way," the boy offered, his voice muffled by the cloth. It was clearly increasingly nervous under Xanatos's glare. "May I please go?"
"You may. Be careful," Tahl said anxiously as she watched the boy stagger to his feet. Before she could change her mind the boy was charging away. She returned her focus to Xanatos, reaching for her com.
"Wait," Xanatos exclaimed hurriedly, stepping forward instinctively to stop Tahl. Tahl jerked away distrustfully. "Wait," he urged. "You can't tell Qui-Gon."
"This is your second fight. That was a child. You almost broke his nose-"
"-I'm sorry it happened, alright?" Xanatos snapped. "Search my feelings; you know I am."
"It isn't how Jedi act," Tahl said curtly.
"Do you think I would have taken it any farther?" Xanatos's gaze was hard, and he looked ready to explode under Tahl's disapproving frown.
"You could have seriously injured him. Qui-Gon will be ashamed."
"Which is why you can't tell him. It'll break his heart," Xanatos said, desperation and panic filling him as he thought of the man he looked up to as a father. "Then I'll never be a Jedi. I'll be his failure. He'll lose his rank and reputation."
Tahl didn't reply. Unfortunately, all the things Xanatos said were true. If she told Qui-Gon… he would be heartbroken. Her dear friend; he would feel as if there was nothing to live for. A Padawan that shamed him was all he had. A failure. A scar on his career and his heart, hiding his goodness and bringing out his flaws.
"He'll never be the same. We'll never be the same," Xanatos dared to hoarsely add.
"You don't deserve to be his Padawan," Tahl said with vile.
She thought about all the strides he took; the bending of rules. He wouldn't stop. He was going to take Xanatos on as his Padawan, with or without The Council's success. It was a struggle to simply get permission to train the boy. She had admired Qui-Gon's stubborn persistence. She was proud he had endeavored and supported his triumph. Now she was beginning to wish she had sided with The Council from the start.
Qui-Gon had broken the rules for him. He was bent on training him; so sure he would become a Knight to be proud of. Would he even believe her? Then he would be choosing between her and him. There was a good chance he would choose Xanatos. He would be too shocked and angered by her report. He would be disheartened and torn, but would always choose Xanatos. Would she lose him?
She swallowed the revulsion building up in her throat. "Don't ever let me catch you harming anyone again."
Xanatos exhaled slowly. He was safe. "You won't," he pledged.
OOOOO
Xanatos sat on the edge of his sleepcouch with his head in his hands. Now that he had calmed down, now that the day had passed, he doubted his rage would ever cool enough for him to become a proper Jedi.
You've got Master Jinn.
But Master Jinn doesn't know.
But you're a hypocrite.
OOOOO
Many years had passed since the incident. Xanatos had finally done it; he had gone to the Dark Side. Now he was a weak Dark Jedi. Now he had broken Qui-Gon's heart.
Tahl sat on the edge of her sleepcouch with her head in her hands. She could have stopped this before it started, but she had to be selfish. She had to take the violent Padawan's trust.
It's better that Jinn never knows.
It still makes you a hypocrite.