Disclaimer: Supernatural belongs to someone who is not me. :(

She thinks maybe he could love her.

She thinks she could win him over with soap operas and sex and laundry. But he acts unavailable, like he has something he has to do. But then he says never mind, he can stay a while longer.

She doesn't know what to make of this man. His face is young and boyish, but his eyes have answers. She doesn't know the questions, even if she feels dangerously close to finding out.

They spend the day together.

Now he's smiling at her, and she knows it must have been the shameless admission of freakish courage that did him in. She could tell that about him, that he's brave and strong and wants someone who can keep up. A month ago, she would have doubted herself. Today, after her ex-boyfriend and being mugged and everything, she thinks she could fit into this man's world. She can feel power pulsing inside of her and she thinks, finally, I'm doing what feels right.

She falls asleep with romance on her mind.

Then she wakes up and she's hurting and confused and so, so scared. He's got her tied to a chair and she's sure she's going to die. He looks straight at her, speaks of monsters and murders, but he still looks like the guy with secrets and kindness in his eyes. She doesn't know what to do, so she lets the fear take over.

She pleads and bargains, even when a vague sense of understanding reels in her mind, and then he is threatening her. He threatens her and promises her and wants to protect her. It is too much, but she wants to believe he isn't bad.

Suddenly it's a rush of truth and discovery and violence and horror. He isn't bad, but she's a monster. She's killed without a single memory of it and the proof is in Sam's face, right above his cheek, from when she was a mindless thing and instinct made her hurt him.

And she feels her heart buckle under the knowledge that she is becoming something she's not. And she wants to cry and scream and die, but Sam promises a cure. She doesn't believe him, but she allows herself to hope and she waits for him.

When he comes back to her, he says it's all over. She is saved and she won't ever become that thing again. And he acts like a stranger, like a bad memory, and she falls for him. She leans forward and kisses him and then they are in each other's arms, pressing against each other.

The monster comes back and she knows it's all over.

She thought they could fall in love, but now she's praying that he didn't. It's too late for her, in life and romance and goodness, but she thinks to herself that he has a full life to live. She will not drag him down.

But then she has to ask him to rip out a piece of his soul because she is not as brave as she thought she was. She gives him the gun, saying here, kill me and be forever broken because I know you will never forget how it feels to look me straight in the eye and shoot me dead.

And he says yes, because I love you.

She watches him as steady hands take aim and tears are running down his face. And then a shot goes off and her heart stops.