That night when you died

That's when I went insane

All my life trying to play nice like they wanted me to and

There we were

Them trying to kill us

Because we were dangerous

Half human Half Enderman

They said we were mobs who needed to die

They said we had no feelings

Now I wish I didn't

It hurts all the time

I can't forget

I can't stop remembering

I wish I had no feelings because then I wouldn't feel the pain

Not the physical injuries

Those faded long ago

Although I get more every night

The pain of watching them kill you

That's what hurts the most

You were six

I was ten

How was that a fair fight?

I fought as hard as I could but they still did it

They thought I was dead so they left me

Neither of us could respawn because we're not all human

But I didn't die

Grief and anger and feelings so inhuman they don't have names

That's what kept me alive

I'm an animal now

The hostile mob they think I am

Anyone who comes into my forest dies

Painfully

And I have yet to repay the pain that I am still feeling

Kurt Hunter sighed, letting the quill and book fall to the floor. He massaged his right hand, his muscles screaming with the pain. It had been four years since he'd tried to write, and he almost couldn't remember how. It had been four years since he'd left human civilization behind; he hadn't needed to write.

But now, he had arbitrarily decided to write things down. It hurt, not just making his hand go through the unfamiliar movements, but also the putting it down on paper. Bringing everything to the forefront of his mind.

He picked up the book and quill again, turning to the first page. He'd torn out all the previous written-on pages -the book had belonged to someone who had been caught in his forest- and tried to write down something that summed up his life. His writing was blocky and childish, as if he was just learning his letters, and words were misspelled, punctuation left out entirely.

He took a deep breath and curled his fingers around the quill.

Day 1

I don't know why I'm doing this

Maybe because I'm finally going crazy

Or maybe because I want to become sane again

Am I tired of this life?

I don't know

When I think of what Esi would think

I feel sick and guilty

But when I think of what they did to her

The anger blocks everything out

Sometimes I wonder if there's anyone who doesn't hate me

Mom maybe

I had a cousin who left a year before it happened

It was his brother who did it

My cousin Kave killed my little sister

My other cousin's name was Kimon

I wonder if he would understand

I remember a girl when I was little

She didn't mind me being weird

Or how my eyes glowed purple when I was angry

I can't remember her name

I don't care whether people hate me or not

I am apart from all of them

They killed Esi

They deserve the same fate

I know I'm crazy

And I don't care