Murphy's Law

A/N: Okeydoke people. The "Personality" fic that y'all thought was sooo funny took about 20 minutes to write, so, methinks that if I can do something funny like that in 20 minutes think of what I could do if I actually tried! This is purty hard thinkin' for me, so, I thought it was brilliant. Blame it on the blondes So I hope you laugh so hard you cry, but c'est la vie if you don't. To tell you the truth, I haven't the faintest idea of how I'm going to make this funny, or even the plotline, but I'll figger it out, won't I?

I'd also like to thank the following people who are absolutely WONDERFUL in the wide world of fanfiction and press me to be the best I can And everything else listed.

Kristiana:

Where have ya been lately? Oh well. You're the best strike of luck I've ever gotten! Lol, and to think it all started with, "Is your fanfiction.net working today?" Lol, thanks for giving me ideas and listening while I ramble. I'm rambling now, but y'all know how it is!

Jane:

Dang Hun! You keep my sense of humor high, and everything else just is in a whole new light! (D.U.M.B., D.O.R.K., yeah keep reading) The ARFA wouldn't be around without ya!!! I'm so happy you're my friend, and thanx for persuading me to post that 'un. You know what it was!

Sorry 'bout that!!! Had to do it. NOW FOR THE FANFICTION!!!

Hermione started the dreary Tuesday by accidentally making her clock blow up by trying to turn off the alarm.

Hmm! She thought. Proves what happens when something comes in contact with

"SUPER NINJA HERMIONE! HIYA!" She yelled out loud accidentally and did a kick in the air. Covering her mouth, embarrassed, she hoped no one heard her, even though the entire common room was giving her a funny look. A cross between "She's insane!" and "Dude! She can kick!"

She laughed uneasily. Picking up a book that dropped of the floor after her karate move, everyone was still silent and their eyes followed her every move.

"What's going on? What's everyone looking at? The blonde is lost!" Lavender yelled, swimming through the crowded people everywhere, and falling over sideways as a cause of 3" platform shoes.

After that moment, everyone exhaled in unison, and resumed to their own lives.

"Oh Lavender, Lavender! Hi! I almost lost you!" Ginger squealed. To no surprise to anyone, she was wearing almost identical outfits to the "Goddess Lavender".

"Um, hi. We have to leave now!" Lavender said irritated, grabbing Hermione by the wrist and pulling her out of the common room.

"RONSIE BABY!" A high pitched voice rang through the hallway. The man in front of the two girls broke into a flat run.

"Ron! Where are you going? Ron, aww! You look so cute! Wait up!" Parvati squealed, shuffling through surprisingly fast for shoes with toothpick size high heels.

"No No Must go faster" Ron muttered to himself, running as fast as he could.

"I FOUND YOU!" Parvati jumped on his back, tackling him to the ground, 135 pounds and all.

"Oof!" Ron fell to the stone floor with a thud. Parvati made a seat out of his back, and sat cross-legged on his spine.

She flicked one of his ears. "You are so cute when you try to run away from me! I think it's so DARLING when you let me catch you! You know you like me!" She squealed in a pitch so high, it could break a glass from 200 yards away.

"Parvati, I know he must be ecstatic to see you, but he'd like you a tad more if you didn't tackle him every day!" Lavender said loudly, shuffling to Ron's aide.

"Plus." Ron said, trying to roll Parvati off his back. "I do NOT like you! NOT ONE BIT! How many times do I have to tell you" He began to speed-walk away.

"You know he loves me. I think it's so cute when he tries to hide it!" Parvati said to herself, chasing after him.

"She needs a new vocabulary! 'Cute' this, 'cute' that It's quite annoying!" Hermione said irritated.

"Think how Ron feels! I don't blame him for hating her." Lavender pointed out.

"Yeah, I s'pose so. Let's go to lunch." Hermione said, shaking her head.

"Wait up!" Harry yelled.

Hermione turned around to see a smiling face. "Hello you! We were just talking"

"About Parvati and Ron. I heard Parvati about a mile away, and what else to you talk about after an attack like that?" Harry finished, raising an eyebrow.

"Correct. Ding ding ding! Next on Jeopardy, where should we be going?" Lavender interrupted.

"Forward?" Harry asked. Everyone laughed.

***

"Here are your exams. It counts as 50 percent of your grade." Snape said coldly, a glint in his eyes unmistakable for evil and glee.

Hermione picked up her paper nonchalantly, knowing what she got in advance. She had checked the things she wasn't sure of after they took it, and she had gotten everything right. Flipping it to the front page, she stared at the top right hand corner where the "A" was supposed to be.

"WHAT?" She screeched. Everyone's attention turned to her for the second time that day. "Professor Snape, this cannot be! These answers are correct!" She pleaded, storming to the front.

"What's wrong? Not always perfect?" He snatched her test, managing to take it so her grade showed to the entire class. A big, fat, "D-".

"But-" Hermione said.

"No "ands", "ifs", or "buts" young lady. I graded this test correctly and you just can't grasp that you aren't the best at everything. Admit it." Snape glared into his eyes, and she glared right back. "Class dismissed."

Hermione screamed from pure annoyance and raced outside the dungeon. Leaning her head against the wall, she refused to let him drill into her head that she was wrong. She was right! She was right! She was-

"I guess I'll get into the exchange program, eh Granger?" Helena Fulgam said in pseudo-sadness, with a tinge of mockery.

"Whatever you want to believe, Helena. You know I'm right." Hermione said, her tongue forming words so cold, they were frozen.

"Ha! Tell it to the school board I think I'll go to that one in Australia I hear it's quite nice Or how about the one in California." Helena snapped.

The boy and girl with the best grades in the 6th year gets to participate in an exchange program in which, over the summer, you take courses from other schools. It's a once in a lifetime experience, and it looks great on a record.

Hermione Granger was in first place, but Helena was only behind by one point. Helena was a Ravenclaw, and she knew that she would never get to go if Hermione was going full-steam But she wouldn't cheat. Not in her lifetime, no. Or did she?

"YOU LITTLE-" Hermione lunged for Helena's neck. The California program was the best of the best, and had the spotlight of Hermione's eye. Helena knew she wanted it.

"Hey, hey Hermione dear, try not to stoop to her level. It's not worth it. After all, what worth does she have compared to you?" Lavender said, breaking the two up. Helena had two bleeding indents in her neck where nails pierced through, and Hermione had a bloody nose.

"A lot more than that MUDBLOOD!" Helena retorted.

"WHAT- did you say?" Lavender asked, wondering if her ears were playing tricks on her.

"You heard me. I'm worth a hell of a lot more than that mudblood, the sickening race." Helena spat.

"Why you little" Hermione started, but was cut off.

"AAAAAHHH!" Lavender came at a running speed, tackling Helena to the ground, beating her fists to whatever she came in contact with.

"Get her, Lavender!" Ginger said, giving Lavender thumbs up, even though she wasn't paying attention.

"Hey!" Hermione tried to pull the two apart, but accidentally came in contact with Helena's fist.

"THAT'S IT!" Hermione dived, head first, into the whirl that was the two other girls.

"ENOUGH." McGonagall's voice rang through the corridor.

"WHAT is going on here?" Her lips pursed together so hard, they were past white. Her entire head shook with rage as she oversaw what had happened. All three had torn robes; Hermione had a seriously bloody nose, with several scratches along her arms and neck. Lavender was bleeding from a deep cut in her arm, and was dizzy from being knocked VERY hard in the head. Helena "got away" with a black eye, bleeding neck, and bruises by the hundreds.

"Go to Dumbledore." McGonagall said, overcome by anger. Thee of her best students had just beat each other up. What was that about?

It was truly a sight. Hermione and Helena, the two smartest people in the school, and Lavender, who cared more about her looks than anyone in creation, were all bedraggled and beat up to the bone.

Dumbledore couldn't help but smile. "Why can't everyone just trust the cornish pixies?" He said, shaking his head.

The three girls didn't give him the time of day. They all looked ready to pass out, hardly acknowledging Dumbledore's presence.

"Huh?" Hermione choked out, realizing the craziness of his statement.

"No matter. I'll see you when you wake up, okay?" He smiled, a twinkle in his eye. At that moment, all went black for the three

***

"And after all of what they did, you want to see them?" McGonagall was talking to someone. Hermione sat up, groggily. Everything had fuzzy lines around them, and was spinning in circles.

"Hermione!" Harry and Ron said in unison, rushing to her bedside.

She blinked. "Hey." She said, shortly.

"Listen, we heard what happened." Ron started.

"And we know what we should do!" Harry said, excited. He turned around to make sure no one was awake or listening, and sure enough, McGonagall had left then alone.

"We're going to have a little talk with Snape. Just to scare him a bit Nothing major." Ron said, rubbing his hands together.

"We could get in MAJOR trouble, though!" Hermione objected, back to her senses.

"But isn't California worth it?"

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and Co. belong to J. K. Rowling and Bloomsbury Press. Don't sue! Thanx!

A/N II: So this isn't turning out to be humor *yet* ::Grins evilly::. It will be, don't worry. One false move hehe! R/R SI'L VOUS PLAIT!