J.M.J.
Blood on the Wall
(Sequel to Silver Tears)
Chapter 1
Rejection, Dejection
It was two days after Draco had found himself and no one else knew the change that had taken place. It was settle, but defying and a hell of a change. Draco roamed the halls alone, his two bodyguards not around to make a barrier. He was always closed up, but now it was more noticeable.
Every time Hermione saw Draco walking to class or the library her heart pounded hard, she couldn't forget that moment that they had together. That night was magical and all she had of him; the good side. The kiss that they had that cold night was a reminder of whom Draco hid from view. That's who Hermione fell in love with. What he had did to her in the halls the other day was the original Draco that she knew, but not who he was.
When Draco caught the glimpse of Hermione all he wanted to do was disappear. He knew her heart, she couldn't hide it, but he also knew himself. 'Every action has a consequence', that's what Duncan had learned so late in life and had taught Draco early. Draco took this lesson to heart and knew that if his action were to show how he felt for Hermione things would fall. The world that he had built up around him would fall. Draco had had a taste of how it felt to be friends with Harry and Ron and also dating Hermione and he knew how he liked some things and hated others.
*I don't want her to know about me* he would think.
*I just want to know all about him* was going through Hermione's mind.
It was a duel of two hearts that no one could see. Draco's mother had brought out the best in him, and also the worst. She had started a fight with his identity of who he was. She had made him question it all a thousand times over. He already knew he would never follow in his father's footsteps, yes, Draco had a dark side that took over him a long time ago, but at least it wasn't as deep as his father's. He wanted to have a life and to live it, that's what he always wanted. His father had always drawn him back and now his mother was making him question, even though she wasn't there. His mother wasn't even alive and she hurt him somehow. When his mother was there she was who he loved, the only person he loved, and now he had disgust for her.
*There she is... I wonder how's she's doing* Draco thought. He was just leaving the library as Hermione was walking in. The thoughts that were running through Hermione's mind were hidden. He wanted to know so badly of her thoughts, what she thought of him. The first thing he wanted was for her to know was the real him, but when she had just gotten a glimpse, he had to leave her and put his wall back up to hide. He learned they couldn't be together and he understood and let it go. Hermione had no idea what had happened, she halfway didn't want to know.
The winds were changing and summer was coming. Draco was going to go home. He feared being alone with his father. The funeral was going to be the day he got home. He was nervous for the first time, he was scared. He had never been scared of his father, he had just hated him, but now there was a darkness that overwhelmed his soul. It wasn't a hate, it was fear that built up so tall around him, it was a fear of how it was going to be like without his mother around. From his father's hand had produced death, Draco's thoughts were, *What else can they produce? Will the lead me to a life that I don't want?*
Draco kept thinking as the days ended, when he arrived back home his father would force him to join the Dark Lord, since his mother wasn't there to voice him. He feared caving at the might of his father's inhuman blow. All things pointed to fear and hatred when he thought of his father, and a sick feeling arose in the pit of his stomach when he thought of different synereos in which he would go about being with his father.
Draco barely paid attention in classes anymore, but the teachers were lenient, for they knew his predicament. Even though his mind was always traveling in classes and tears would well up when he remembers what his life could have been like, his heart was still in one place and that was a place of torment and grief. He felt like his would jump out of his body and rip him to shreds it hurt so bad. He was so confused now of who he was, but at least he was alive.
"Mr. Malfoy," Professor McGonagal called on him in Transfiguration classes one evening.
He quickly snapped back from the scene of Hermione jumping on his father's back and beating him with a stick, "Yes, ma'am?"
"Please turn your quail into a pen... and remember right twirl, swish, and zap while saying, 'Capternat'."
He did as he was told and the quail turned into a beautiful golden pen, "Lovely," Professor McGonagal congratulated, "10 points to Slytherin."
After classes Draco walked the halls slowly, trying not to run into anyone, but that was impossible due to the whole school now knowing about his mother's death. All that Draco knew was what life would have been like if he'd made the right choices, and that's all he thought about. But eventually he had to face the truth, and that was: he hadn't made the right choices, this was his life, and he had to live it best he could. It was hard admitting that to himself, and he didn't do so just yet.
In the meantime a crowd of people of all houses rushed passed him and he tried not to touch them. They all looked at him with pity in their eyes, but then someone finally had run into him.
"Sorry," the girl whispered.
"You should have done it harder," he said rubbing his shoulder.
"Oh, the blonde boy does talk," Draco then looked up at the voice that was talking to him.
"I should of known, Granger."
"I do have a name. You used to know it," Hermione was about to walk off until Draco said,
"Wait."
"No," she started to run, "I'm not letting you walk off this time. I'm leaving first."
"What?" Draco started to chase after her down the halls, "I just want to talk to you."
"You had your chance," she yelled behind her.
"Wait... Hermione," he called, not caring about everyone watching.
She stopped mid sprint and turned around, "What do you want to say to me?"
He paused as he looked her up and down and remember her warm body, "I love you," he said aloud when he found his voice and then left her standing there in awe.
A week passed after that encounter and it would be another four days until they leave. Their O.W.L. scores would be coming in momentarily and all they had to do was wait. Draco had made sure not to come even 5 miles close to Hermione, he just walked around from classroom to classroom, library to dorm, having no contact with anyone. He just had to wait to go home.
He still stayed up every night, for the fear of what his dreams might behold. He kept replaying what would have happened if he would of stayed in that 'better life'.
One night Draco was sweaty from perspiration, his eyes were puffy from crying, and his lungs hurt when he breathed. He snuck outside for fresh air and beautiful light. He sat on the warm grass and breathed refreshing night air to fill his feeble body. His O.W.L.'s would be coming in tomorrow and then the next day they would be going home. The four days that they had had come and gone so quickly, but Draco liked it, he didn't want to be there anymore, in that school that took pity on him, a boy who lost his mother. But then again, he didn't want to go home either; he didn't want to be alone in a big house with his father. While he sat under the big lantern they called moon he thought, as usual, and he thought hard.
"I shouldn't have told that to Hermione," he spoke to the darkness, "Every action has a consequence. What consequence will I get from that?"
He feared what was going to happen after he admitted himself to Hermione, that's why the avoidance was so drawn out.
"People judge too fast," he said aloud again, "See, they know me as the 'bad boy', the 'mean Slytherin', and that's what I wanted. That's who I am! And at home I'd be my other side, but now I don't know who I am. Well, now that I told Hermione how I feel people are looking at me as the 'hidden sweet guy'. I don't want that! I want them to know me! The... who I was."
Draco's confusion filled his head until it hurt. Rain started to pour down on him, but he didn't care, he just sat there as if not feeling the cold drops hit him all around.
"What are you doing out here?" someone screamed through the loud thumps that the raindrops made.
"Well, what are you doing out her?" Draco yelled back. He couldn't see who it was, but he had an inkling of who it might be.
"Coming out here to think of you," yup, Draco knew who it was now.
"Really? I was out here to think of me, too," he laughed. Draco hadn't laughed in a while, it felt good. Hermione giggled a little too.
"Well, what did you figure out?" she yelled as she took a step closer.
"That I don't know who the bloody hell I am, what the bloody hell I feel, nor why I think I love you."
"I'm sorry, what was that?" she questioned as the rain got harder.
"I said..."
"I mean the last part."
Draco stood up and walked over to her. he put his hands on her waist and hugged her, "I can't love you and you can't love me."
"Then why do I? Draco," the rain got harder and harder, louder and louder, making them yell at each other, "Draco, who I saw that night? That was you! That was who you really are!"
"No, that's not! That's who I am towards my mother! Now that she's not here I don't know who that person is."
"Yes you do! You hide yourself as if it was something bad! Draco, who you are towards your mother... that's who you really are, you just don't know it. I can honestly say I hated you, but when I saw the sweet, compassionate boy that I saw that night I fell in love instantly."
"NO! that's not who I am! I'm this!" he then pushed her away and called a very naughty word as he was about to run, but she grabbed his arm and yelled,
"You know you didn't mean that! And if you did you don't want to know what I will call you!"
Draco kept a straight face and looked at the best he could, "I-I can't love you..."
"Why not!?"
"Because I can't bring you into my life."
"Again, why not!?"
"You don't know what..."
Hermione ignored what was coming out of Draco's mouth and just pulled him into a kiss, "I can't help it," she whispered as loud as she could and walked away leaving him there in the rain.
The next day wasn't rainy at all and everyone's O.W.L's been in. Draco had passed with flying colors AND to his father's pleasure had gotten ONE point higher than Hermione! When Draco had found this out his response what blank. He didn't seem appealed to anything as if it didn't mean anything. It didn't, technically! It just meant something to his father. Now Draco wished he had gotten a point lower than her just to tick his father's nerves.
That day went by fast and he, again, had avoided Hermione.
"The train is now boarding the 6th years," Professor McGonagal called down the hall. Every sixth year raced towards train trying to get a good compartment, "See you all next year," she called when the Train started to move.
Draco found a compartment that no one else was in. he picked up his luggage and locked his door to make sure no one bugged him. He patted his head on the window and remembers the night that had just passed.
"I can't keep falling in love with her," he kept telling himself. Suddenly there was a knock on his compartment door and Draco's heart jumped *It's her* he thought. He opened the door quickly, but it only revealed a hated enemy.
"What do you want, Potter," he said maliciously.
"To talk," he pushed his way in the compartment and shut the door behind him.
"You weren't invited in here!" Draco protested.
"So? I have to talk to you."
"Well, do it quickly before I decide to beat you now."
"You would do that."
"Fuck you! Yes I would!"
"Oh, shut up and sit down," Harry said as he pushed Draco on his seat.
"Hey!"
"I said shut up! Now! Tell me why you did that to Hermione!'
"What?" he said dumbfounded.
"Yea, she talks! She told us what happened. Believe me she told us what happened," he said rolling his eyes, "And I really don't like you! But I'm willing to do this for her. She obviously needs someone, and she... ew... chose you. So, start talking."
"I-I-I..."
"No-No-No," he mimicked, "Talk."
Draco sighed deep and for some odd reason a feeling of trust overcame him. He told Harry everything, about Duncan, about what could have been, about what would have been, and made Harry understand why he couldn't be with her. It was weird! Draco hated Harry, but for some reason he knew he could trust him. And when he was finished Harry looked at him surprised,
"O, okay," he muttered, a little shaken from the trust that he was being bestowed.
"You can't tell her that now can you!?"
"You're right. Well, I'll just tell her that you have a good reason and she just needs to understand?" he said more of asking permission.
Draco nodded and then kicked him out of the compartment.
A couple of hours later the train was stopped and he was outside waiting for his father.
"Draco," he heard whisper behind him, *Why do people keep doing that* he thought.
He turned around and saw his dad, he didn't speak but just followed him to the car. Lucious was hurt, but he understood, "The funeral's tomorrow," he whispered. Draco didn't respond though.
This was how it was going to be. Draco had his answer. Draco knew now what it was going to be like without his mother, there was going to be silence and tension. Fear and hate, nothing that they either liked. This was how his life was going to be.
A/N: You have to read Silver Tears to understand what's going on here that's why it's called a SEQUEL! This sequel was requested by GoldenLion and I'm accepting ( lol... Now, I prolly won't update anytime soon, it'll prolly take a while befo' the next chapter, but... YES! I will eventually lol..... HuGs2yA
Blood on the Wall
(Sequel to Silver Tears)
Chapter 1
Rejection, Dejection
It was two days after Draco had found himself and no one else knew the change that had taken place. It was settle, but defying and a hell of a change. Draco roamed the halls alone, his two bodyguards not around to make a barrier. He was always closed up, but now it was more noticeable.
Every time Hermione saw Draco walking to class or the library her heart pounded hard, she couldn't forget that moment that they had together. That night was magical and all she had of him; the good side. The kiss that they had that cold night was a reminder of whom Draco hid from view. That's who Hermione fell in love with. What he had did to her in the halls the other day was the original Draco that she knew, but not who he was.
When Draco caught the glimpse of Hermione all he wanted to do was disappear. He knew her heart, she couldn't hide it, but he also knew himself. 'Every action has a consequence', that's what Duncan had learned so late in life and had taught Draco early. Draco took this lesson to heart and knew that if his action were to show how he felt for Hermione things would fall. The world that he had built up around him would fall. Draco had had a taste of how it felt to be friends with Harry and Ron and also dating Hermione and he knew how he liked some things and hated others.
*I don't want her to know about me* he would think.
*I just want to know all about him* was going through Hermione's mind.
It was a duel of two hearts that no one could see. Draco's mother had brought out the best in him, and also the worst. She had started a fight with his identity of who he was. She had made him question it all a thousand times over. He already knew he would never follow in his father's footsteps, yes, Draco had a dark side that took over him a long time ago, but at least it wasn't as deep as his father's. He wanted to have a life and to live it, that's what he always wanted. His father had always drawn him back and now his mother was making him question, even though she wasn't there. His mother wasn't even alive and she hurt him somehow. When his mother was there she was who he loved, the only person he loved, and now he had disgust for her.
*There she is... I wonder how's she's doing* Draco thought. He was just leaving the library as Hermione was walking in. The thoughts that were running through Hermione's mind were hidden. He wanted to know so badly of her thoughts, what she thought of him. The first thing he wanted was for her to know was the real him, but when she had just gotten a glimpse, he had to leave her and put his wall back up to hide. He learned they couldn't be together and he understood and let it go. Hermione had no idea what had happened, she halfway didn't want to know.
The winds were changing and summer was coming. Draco was going to go home. He feared being alone with his father. The funeral was going to be the day he got home. He was nervous for the first time, he was scared. He had never been scared of his father, he had just hated him, but now there was a darkness that overwhelmed his soul. It wasn't a hate, it was fear that built up so tall around him, it was a fear of how it was going to be like without his mother around. From his father's hand had produced death, Draco's thoughts were, *What else can they produce? Will the lead me to a life that I don't want?*
Draco kept thinking as the days ended, when he arrived back home his father would force him to join the Dark Lord, since his mother wasn't there to voice him. He feared caving at the might of his father's inhuman blow. All things pointed to fear and hatred when he thought of his father, and a sick feeling arose in the pit of his stomach when he thought of different synereos in which he would go about being with his father.
Draco barely paid attention in classes anymore, but the teachers were lenient, for they knew his predicament. Even though his mind was always traveling in classes and tears would well up when he remembers what his life could have been like, his heart was still in one place and that was a place of torment and grief. He felt like his would jump out of his body and rip him to shreds it hurt so bad. He was so confused now of who he was, but at least he was alive.
"Mr. Malfoy," Professor McGonagal called on him in Transfiguration classes one evening.
He quickly snapped back from the scene of Hermione jumping on his father's back and beating him with a stick, "Yes, ma'am?"
"Please turn your quail into a pen... and remember right twirl, swish, and zap while saying, 'Capternat'."
He did as he was told and the quail turned into a beautiful golden pen, "Lovely," Professor McGonagal congratulated, "10 points to Slytherin."
After classes Draco walked the halls slowly, trying not to run into anyone, but that was impossible due to the whole school now knowing about his mother's death. All that Draco knew was what life would have been like if he'd made the right choices, and that's all he thought about. But eventually he had to face the truth, and that was: he hadn't made the right choices, this was his life, and he had to live it best he could. It was hard admitting that to himself, and he didn't do so just yet.
In the meantime a crowd of people of all houses rushed passed him and he tried not to touch them. They all looked at him with pity in their eyes, but then someone finally had run into him.
"Sorry," the girl whispered.
"You should have done it harder," he said rubbing his shoulder.
"Oh, the blonde boy does talk," Draco then looked up at the voice that was talking to him.
"I should of known, Granger."
"I do have a name. You used to know it," Hermione was about to walk off until Draco said,
"Wait."
"No," she started to run, "I'm not letting you walk off this time. I'm leaving first."
"What?" Draco started to chase after her down the halls, "I just want to talk to you."
"You had your chance," she yelled behind her.
"Wait... Hermione," he called, not caring about everyone watching.
She stopped mid sprint and turned around, "What do you want to say to me?"
He paused as he looked her up and down and remember her warm body, "I love you," he said aloud when he found his voice and then left her standing there in awe.
A week passed after that encounter and it would be another four days until they leave. Their O.W.L. scores would be coming in momentarily and all they had to do was wait. Draco had made sure not to come even 5 miles close to Hermione, he just walked around from classroom to classroom, library to dorm, having no contact with anyone. He just had to wait to go home.
He still stayed up every night, for the fear of what his dreams might behold. He kept replaying what would have happened if he would of stayed in that 'better life'.
One night Draco was sweaty from perspiration, his eyes were puffy from crying, and his lungs hurt when he breathed. He snuck outside for fresh air and beautiful light. He sat on the warm grass and breathed refreshing night air to fill his feeble body. His O.W.L.'s would be coming in tomorrow and then the next day they would be going home. The four days that they had had come and gone so quickly, but Draco liked it, he didn't want to be there anymore, in that school that took pity on him, a boy who lost his mother. But then again, he didn't want to go home either; he didn't want to be alone in a big house with his father. While he sat under the big lantern they called moon he thought, as usual, and he thought hard.
"I shouldn't have told that to Hermione," he spoke to the darkness, "Every action has a consequence. What consequence will I get from that?"
He feared what was going to happen after he admitted himself to Hermione, that's why the avoidance was so drawn out.
"People judge too fast," he said aloud again, "See, they know me as the 'bad boy', the 'mean Slytherin', and that's what I wanted. That's who I am! And at home I'd be my other side, but now I don't know who I am. Well, now that I told Hermione how I feel people are looking at me as the 'hidden sweet guy'. I don't want that! I want them to know me! The... who I was."
Draco's confusion filled his head until it hurt. Rain started to pour down on him, but he didn't care, he just sat there as if not feeling the cold drops hit him all around.
"What are you doing out here?" someone screamed through the loud thumps that the raindrops made.
"Well, what are you doing out her?" Draco yelled back. He couldn't see who it was, but he had an inkling of who it might be.
"Coming out here to think of you," yup, Draco knew who it was now.
"Really? I was out here to think of me, too," he laughed. Draco hadn't laughed in a while, it felt good. Hermione giggled a little too.
"Well, what did you figure out?" she yelled as she took a step closer.
"That I don't know who the bloody hell I am, what the bloody hell I feel, nor why I think I love you."
"I'm sorry, what was that?" she questioned as the rain got harder.
"I said..."
"I mean the last part."
Draco stood up and walked over to her. he put his hands on her waist and hugged her, "I can't love you and you can't love me."
"Then why do I? Draco," the rain got harder and harder, louder and louder, making them yell at each other, "Draco, who I saw that night? That was you! That was who you really are!"
"No, that's not! That's who I am towards my mother! Now that she's not here I don't know who that person is."
"Yes you do! You hide yourself as if it was something bad! Draco, who you are towards your mother... that's who you really are, you just don't know it. I can honestly say I hated you, but when I saw the sweet, compassionate boy that I saw that night I fell in love instantly."
"NO! that's not who I am! I'm this!" he then pushed her away and called a very naughty word as he was about to run, but she grabbed his arm and yelled,
"You know you didn't mean that! And if you did you don't want to know what I will call you!"
Draco kept a straight face and looked at the best he could, "I-I can't love you..."
"Why not!?"
"Because I can't bring you into my life."
"Again, why not!?"
"You don't know what..."
Hermione ignored what was coming out of Draco's mouth and just pulled him into a kiss, "I can't help it," she whispered as loud as she could and walked away leaving him there in the rain.
The next day wasn't rainy at all and everyone's O.W.L's been in. Draco had passed with flying colors AND to his father's pleasure had gotten ONE point higher than Hermione! When Draco had found this out his response what blank. He didn't seem appealed to anything as if it didn't mean anything. It didn't, technically! It just meant something to his father. Now Draco wished he had gotten a point lower than her just to tick his father's nerves.
That day went by fast and he, again, had avoided Hermione.
"The train is now boarding the 6th years," Professor McGonagal called down the hall. Every sixth year raced towards train trying to get a good compartment, "See you all next year," she called when the Train started to move.
Draco found a compartment that no one else was in. he picked up his luggage and locked his door to make sure no one bugged him. He patted his head on the window and remembers the night that had just passed.
"I can't keep falling in love with her," he kept telling himself. Suddenly there was a knock on his compartment door and Draco's heart jumped *It's her* he thought. He opened the door quickly, but it only revealed a hated enemy.
"What do you want, Potter," he said maliciously.
"To talk," he pushed his way in the compartment and shut the door behind him.
"You weren't invited in here!" Draco protested.
"So? I have to talk to you."
"Well, do it quickly before I decide to beat you now."
"You would do that."
"Fuck you! Yes I would!"
"Oh, shut up and sit down," Harry said as he pushed Draco on his seat.
"Hey!"
"I said shut up! Now! Tell me why you did that to Hermione!'
"What?" he said dumbfounded.
"Yea, she talks! She told us what happened. Believe me she told us what happened," he said rolling his eyes, "And I really don't like you! But I'm willing to do this for her. She obviously needs someone, and she... ew... chose you. So, start talking."
"I-I-I..."
"No-No-No," he mimicked, "Talk."
Draco sighed deep and for some odd reason a feeling of trust overcame him. He told Harry everything, about Duncan, about what could have been, about what would have been, and made Harry understand why he couldn't be with her. It was weird! Draco hated Harry, but for some reason he knew he could trust him. And when he was finished Harry looked at him surprised,
"O, okay," he muttered, a little shaken from the trust that he was being bestowed.
"You can't tell her that now can you!?"
"You're right. Well, I'll just tell her that you have a good reason and she just needs to understand?" he said more of asking permission.
Draco nodded and then kicked him out of the compartment.
A couple of hours later the train was stopped and he was outside waiting for his father.
"Draco," he heard whisper behind him, *Why do people keep doing that* he thought.
He turned around and saw his dad, he didn't speak but just followed him to the car. Lucious was hurt, but he understood, "The funeral's tomorrow," he whispered. Draco didn't respond though.
This was how it was going to be. Draco had his answer. Draco knew now what it was going to be like without his mother, there was going to be silence and tension. Fear and hate, nothing that they either liked. This was how his life was going to be.
A/N: You have to read Silver Tears to understand what's going on here that's why it's called a SEQUEL! This sequel was requested by GoldenLion and I'm accepting ( lol... Now, I prolly won't update anytime soon, it'll prolly take a while befo' the next chapter, but... YES! I will eventually lol..... HuGs2yA