And yea... I totally own it, that's why I'm on FanfcitionNet...
Totally.
-sigh-.
Alrighty, Read on... AND REVIEW DAMN YOU!
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They never really knew me. Never really got to know me. And it was like a smack in the face when I had to wake up in his house ever morning. Knowing I could never go back to my drunken mother, Knowing how far away my father was. And they expected everything just to be ok, Sean is still pissing over what happened with Rick. I think me and him are...breaking up? Oh god please.
As I was walking outside he let out a blood-curtling cry. "What the fuck Sean! Your going to get us in...oh my god." I said as I saw him bleeding in the kitchen. "What the fuck happened?" I asked while wetting a nearby dirty washcloth.
"I was getting out the wine..." he said and I jumped in immediatly.
"Why in the hell were you drinking?"
" I wasn't, I mean I was...but" he said still blood coming out of his hand.
"But what Sean? Huh? Were you going to get drunk to wash all this Rick shit away? taking up your fucking drinking habit for something you should be happy your alive for?" He looked at me. It was a dirty look.He slammed down the bloody wash-cloth. "You want to talk about taking up habits again Ellie? Let me see your arm!"
I hesitated. While he continued. "SHOW ME YOUR GOD DAMN ARM ELLIE!"
I showed him, and I proved him wrong. Not a single new cut was there. He first frowned, then smiled. I didn't smile though. I hated showing my arm to any fucking body. Even if it was Sean.I grabbed my purse and walked out in my Pajamas. I didn't give a fuck if he was bleeding, my mother never made me even do shit like that.
I came back and Sean had left a note saying, 'Ellie, I had to get stiches, Craig is driving me. I'm sorry for the fight babe. Forgive me?' I didn't want to give in and forgive him. But I did anyways. The house was silent and it felt strange. My ferrot came up to me and gave me his hungry look.
"Fucking pig," I said while getting his food.
I love my ferrot but I was still steamed. I called the rehab center and asked to talk to my mom.
"Hey mom,"
"...Ellie...oh god, Ellie," she said sounding as if she had been crying.
"Mom, what's wrong?"
"Ellie, they found out that, I have third stage Lukimia..."
Everything grew silent. I felt something grow in my throat. But still it didn't seem like I cared. I didn't want to care. I didn't want to cry, I didn't want to give a damn.
"O-...Oh..." I said. THe tears building up. I can't let it come out don't let it come out. Not one little salty drop Ellie.
"M-...mom..There is a beep...I have...I got to go..." I said and hung up.
I went to the bathroom and looked at myself. So imperfect. Nothing seems like it will ever go right now... I filled the bathtub up with water. I went to my room and got my kit. I took out the razor that I had not used in 3 months. Stepped into the tub with all my clothes on and rolled up my sleeves. Things seemed alright again.
I let out a sigh.
"Things will get better."
But then again.
I knew I was just lying to myself...
But I always was...