Frequency of transgressions ~
Roxas woke up in a pure white room , his head spinning and aching . It took a while for his eyes to take in everything and nothing , for his throbbing mind to register the other pains . After staring at a white wall for a good half hour he finally gathered sense enough to peel his face off the ground. His head immediately double with pain , leaving him with nothing but a breathless wordless cry . A tear rolled down his face as he tried to reach for his head , but he realized he couldn't move his arms.
Another pain entered his mind as he tried to move his arms , a ache in both of his shoulders. He realized his hands were locked behind his back , and he couldn't move them.
"Dammit`" He whimpered under his breath .
He rolled his shoulders lightly then closed his eyes as he pulled his arms over his head. He bit down on his lip as his arms clicked into place.
"Double jointed." He sighed in relief , opening his eyes again.
He stared at his wrists , examining the metal cuffs . Whoever had put him in these didn't lock them to tight , so when his arms weren't pressed to his back they didn't hurt . But they were to tight to squeeze out of , much to strong to break , and very pretty. The metal was shiny and polished , with intricate patterns weaving over them like waves . And on one of the cuffs there were five words spelled out elegantly , the feelings of those words catching him a bit off guard , confusing him .
After thoroughly inspecting his wrist restraints he moved on to look at the newest recognized form of bondage , on his left ankle. There was more polished metal , more wave-like designs , and a thick chain connecting it to the floor . After that he decided to give himself a good once over , noticing that he was wearing very little compared to the last thing he remembered wearing.
He was clad only in a pure white button up long sleeve shirt and his white boxers. He didn't know why but the longer he was in this room the more violated he felt. White is for a virgin right ? Then why did it feel like someone was making a whore out of him ?
He decided it was about time to move , so he set his feet in front of him , his hands in back , and scooted until he felt his back press against the hard surface he'd been searching for. There he curled up to further evaluate himself and his situation. Aside from his aches and pains there was no real injury that needed any sort of attention , apparently his capture wasn't trying to inflict any real injury . Which gave him the slightest bit of hope , deadly hope , stupid hope . Hope was the last thing he needed , so he banished that feeling to the back of his mind . Aside from a god-awful migraine his head was reasonably clear , meaning he could function pretty well . But he couldn't remember anything before this room . He knew who he was and where he came from , his friends and his past . But he had no clue how he had ended up in this place , whatever the place was .
After searching through his thoughts and finding nothing to help him he decided that he wasn't getting anywhere and that he had no reason to fight off his fatigue . So he closed his eyes , laid down , and drifted into a restless kind of sleep .
Roxas woke only and few hours later feeling little less then rested and . . .Blind. His arms were refastened behind his back and he couldn't pull them back up , but more scary to him was the fact that he was wearing a blindfold . Actually , a mask . He felt it's smooth surface curve around the top his face , he felt the lace pressing against his ears . But he also felt vulnerable . All he could do was feed off of sound . What if they were very quite ? He wouldn't know if they were coming . And he wouldn't be able to look at the face of his capture. Why would they put him in a mask ? What were they planning on doing with him ? For the first time since this started he felt panic grip him , not a pleasant feeling at all.
"You awake ?"
Roxas quickly jumped into a sitting position , making himself dizzy enough to need to fall back on the wall for support. A melancholy laugh slipped though the lips of the man who had previously spoken . It would have been more interesting to Roxas in any other situation due to his inquisitive attitude , but in this situation any form of laughter from your host kinda sucked . Sucked in a genuinely creepy way.
"Urgh" Roxas could help the broken angry grumble that escaped his lips.
Another sad laugh .
"Where am I ?" Roxas asked , trying perhaps to regain some of his lost dignity in the least threatening and most expected way possible.
"A room . In at building . Somewhere ." The voice answer with infuriating vagueness .
"Wow , Thanks." Roxas mumbled quietly .
"Welcome." Roxas could hear a smile coming from the rooms other occupant .
"What do you want with me ?" The boy growled .
"I plead the fifth." The man said coolly , making Roxas grit his teeth.
"Why am I blindfolded ?"
"It's actually a mask-"
"I know it's a mask !" Roxas snapped , but rethought blowing up at the other person , lest they should rethink not harming him. "Why did you put it on me ?"
". . .I. . .I don't want to look at you. . ." The voice sounded hollow , Roxas could almost imagine the face that went with it . Blank , eyes lost in the memories that brought them to this point. But he still had no idea who he was dealing with.
And brilliant him , all he could think of you say was , "Why ? Why won't you look at me ?" For some reason hearing this voice say that hurt him . But he knew it was because of the voice the words were formed by , if it was another voice he wouldn't care. But this one. . .
"I can't. . .I can't. . .I-I . . .I can't . . ." He could imagine the man shaking his head trying to think of an explanation , but not coming up with anything.
Then he heard the sound of fabric brushing , and then the sound of footsteps.
"Where are you going ?" He whispered , just loud enough to be heard , he didn't trust his voice for much more then that .
"I'll be back ." The man replied , "Prepare yourself." He added coldly , leaving a trail of ice to harden down Roxas` spine.
The captive listened to the click of the door as it closed , though he never saw a door when he was looking around before . He curled up into a ball again and pressed his head to his knees , biting his lip while trying not to choke . He was scared , really scared . He didn't know what to expect . The man had only patently talked to him , but what he said when he left , how he said it , gave Roxas the chills. He was truly doomed . He was blind folded , his arms were locked behind his back , his ankle was chained to the floor , and his capture was angry.
"I don't want to die. . ." Roxas whispered , "I don't want to be hurt. . . What did I do to deserve this ? I can't believe this is happening to me !" He sobbed into his knees , fighting the tears that were quickly forming in his eyes .
'Why fight it ?' He questioned himself , 'Your wearing a mask , he'll never see you being weak. He WILL NOT see you give up. You can cry all you want , he'll never know.'
So he did , he cried . He let the tears fall from his eyes and paint trails down his cheeks . This wasn't him giving up , not giving in. But this was him allowing himself a moment of weakness . This moment to last until whatever was in store for him was through.
This soundless tears were interrupted a few hours later by the sound of a door opening and closing , then soft footsteps. Roxas` heart jumped into overtime , beating so hard he was sure the other could hear it . The footsteps stopped just in front of him and he could hear the man kneeling. So he sealed his lips and eyes , pushing his head against his knees even harder. A soft touch swept across his cheek -Because the mask only covered the upper half of his face - a lingering hand brushing his side , a soft whisper against his neck. His breath hitched audibly , causing the other to do the same. Roxas slowly lifted his head , though he could not see , he imagined.
He remembered , something clicked into place. The only person who would capture him. The only person who would want to treat him harshly , but would never let him be hurt. Just one person , one person who would ever want him in every way.
"Axel ?" He breathed , his voice shaking.
A sharp intake of breath let him know he was right . Truly he had known the whole time who it was , he just didn't want himself to be right. Subconsciously he had been chanting that name the whole time , but it wasn't until now he realized why. The voice , the laugh , the smiling undertone. He didn't want Axel to save him , he was telling himself that his capture WAS Axel.
He felt a hard yank on the chain that was around his ankle , pulling him forward until the back of his head hit the floor. He felt the man move to straddle his waist , making his heart sink. He didn't want this , not with Axel , not like this.
"Why-" Roxas choked , trying to steady his voice , though his shoulders and arms were killing him.
"Shut up. . ." Axel whispered , nuzzling the blond boys neck gently.
"Why. . .Won't you look at me ?" He whispered again , this time forming a complete question.
"I can't ." Axel breathed the same thing he had said before , this time saying it like it was the answer he was looking for.
Axel's hand ran over Roxas' clothed chest and down his stomach , till he reached the hem of his shirt. There he teased the small line of skin between the buttons. He then reached underneath gripping the pretty blonds ass , making the boy squirm.
"Nnnn !" Roxas bit down on his lip , though he was hurting a little bit everywhere the little sensations where getting to him.
"That's it Roxas , you know you like it. You always have ." Axel nearly growled .
The boy felt a wet tongue sliding over his clothed nipple , making him pant .
"Sss-Stop. . .Stop it. . Nnnn!" Roxas gasped out , squirming at the feeling of being fondled from above and behind.
"Don't fight me." The man spoke coldly , sending another jolt of fear to coil inside the blond's stomach.
Roxas rolled his shoulders , trying to ease off of them , though it's quite hard when there is someone on top of you.
"Does that hurt ?" Axel suddenly asked , sounding concerned.
"Your mood changes are hurting my brain much worse , but yes." Roxas said shakily , infusing it with some of the tone he used to use with Axel when he was making a jab at him.
The man chuckled lightly , though there was an edge to it. Like he wasn't sure if those familiar jokes meant anything. Roxas had always told Axel he had the strangest mood swings , told him that's what made him the least predictable member of the organization. Made him like fire. Yet. . .Axel somehow knew that Roxas had seen this coming. The day he left , he had spoken so coldly , so harshly , like he knew Axel would chase after him.
"You were right." Axel bit his lip , holding his voice back so it didn't tremble.
He quickly undid the hand cuffs and took them off. As soon as Roxas felt them pulled away he flattened his back against the ground , pushing his shoulders against the hard surface. A wet tongue slid up his neck until the hot mouth reached Roxas` ear , there he worried the boy's earlobe teasingly. Roxas bit his lip and arched off the ground , sliding his clothed body over Axel's. The man above him shivered , and broke off from messing with Roxas` ear to pant against his cheek. The blond didn't know why but to have those lips so close but not having them to himself made him angry.
Axel's hand suddenly slipped up his shirt , pulling to buttons apart to expose the pail white chest. Roxas growled low and deep , making Axel shudder. His lips and tongue licked and kissed their way down the boy's neck , when he reached his collar bone he nipped at the skin quickly , then sucked it until there was a nice make there. Happy with that he made his way down the exposed chest breathing against a soft pink nipple till it hardened. Roxas cursed his betraying body , as the pleasure from the nips and licks and kisses curled into lust in the pit of his stomach.
Axel's sinister tongue flicked out to quickly tease the hardened flesh , making Roxas gasp loudly and arch up once again. This time as their bodies met their groins rubbed roughly together , making them hiss in unison. Axel quickly gripped the boy's hip , pushing it down roughly as he tried to gain control of his mind. Roxas whimpered as he was prevented form moving by yet another restraint , though he didn't mind Axel's hand nearly as much as the handcuffs , or the mask for that matter.
"Calm down." Axel breathed against Roxas` neck , making the boy's body try to lift off the ground again.
"Nnnnnn!" Roxas bit his lip roughly , trying to control his urges to have Axel's sweet touches again.
Roxas panted with effort , his body had become sweaty , glistening brightly under the white lights. Axel returned to his ministrations , but this time held Roxas` body down. The boy wiggled under him , making his erection ache and his breath come in shallow pants.
The man slowly moved down the glistening body , tracing his tongue over the muscles of Roxas` taught stomach , and pausing quickly to lap at the boy's navel.
Suddenly Roxas remembered , it's was Axel. It always was. In the back of his mind , in the corner of his subcontinents , in the ring of his lonely steps. But this time in the shadow , emerging from shadow.
'I knew it !' That was what he had thought when he had seen him , 'I knew he'd come for me.' And then Axel attacked. 'I'm not scarred.' That's what he told himself , 'I don't need to fight back.' And then pain , everywhere , like fire spreading over his body. And strong arms around him , and darkness.
It was all there , he remembered it. Axel had come for him while he was taking a walk in the middle of the night. He hadn't fought back , he just let Axel knock him out. But what he hadn't thought was that everything he had said before would be burning inside Axel when they had met again. This wasn't what he had added into his calculations. He knew this would happen , but not like this. Both sides willing , happy to please the other. Axel was trying so hard not to show pain by being rough , but he didn't want Roxas to be in pain too.
This wasn't right.
No . . .
It's-
"Wrong."
"What ?" Roxas could fell Axel face pull away from his abdomen.
"This is wrong." He spoke in a whisper.
"Life isn't fair ." Axel growled.
"And Your Not Cruel !" Roxas shoutted back , "You want to lay out the facts ? Fine ! This isn't you !"
Roxas' voice broke into a sob , "This. . .Isn't what you want."
". . ." Axel remained silent.
"No , You were never like this. No one could turn you into this."
"You did."
"No." Roxas shook his head , the lace on the mask becoming lose ,"Not I didn't do this. You would never do this because of me."
". . .Fire is unpredictable." Axel whispered this time.
"Fire ? No , Fire is something wild that wishes to be tamed . . .With all it's heart."
"I'm not like you Roxas."
"No ," Roxas shook his head again , "Your so much better."
The mask slipped away , landing on the floor with a clang. The first thing seen by Roxas was Axel's broken face laden with sorrow and worry enough to last a lifetime. And what Axel saw was a tear streaked face , with shame and hurt shining in those beautiful blue eyes that haunted his dreams and nightmares.
Silently , without any spoken words or explanations , the two leaned together. Their lips met like they had dreamt of for so long. But fleetingly. Then it was over. It was all over.
When Roxas woke up he was curled up on his soft bed. His shoes in their normal places. One on his chair the other by his closet door. His shirt hanging from his bed post. His pants , a lump on the floor. He was wearing his white boxers that he always had on.
"It wasn't a dream." Roxas said , closing his eyes.
Images flashed through his mind. The white room , Axel's face , His eyes , His lips. The chains the cuffs. And five words , spelled out elegantly on polished metal.
'~ I'm sorry I love you ~'