Chapter one

Ayeeee I'm new to this and Disclaimer: I don't own any characters

I stare at the ceiling and listen to the steady breaths next to me. I look over and see the rare look of Magnus looking absolutely peaceful next to me, a sight curve in his lips indicating a smile. I sigh, feeling a headache coming and rub my fingers against my temples.

I hear Magnus stir beside me and glance over at his beautiful green eyes. No matter how many times I've looked at them, every single time they take my breath away. "Alec, what are you staring at?" Magnus says his voice clipped. I sense it again and see the flash of annoyance that graces over his features. My hearts plummets to the floor as I see agitation written all over his face. Each time I hope for it to be different, every time I think it might change but it never does, not anymore.

I remember when he used to look at me like I was the only thing that mattered, I remember how his eyes shown with love and affection every time he looked at me. But now it's gone, I'll I see when he looks at me is annoyance. I can't ever blame him though, it took him long enough to see the real Alec. I'm boring, plain, shy and insecure, how could anyone love me like that? Magnus was flawless he's: Beautiful, confident, sexy and just everything. I was nothing compared to him and he started realizing that a month ago. About a month ago I noticed his change, he started withdrawing from me and now he always looks at me with annoyance. I just hope our relationship lasts a little longer, because I'm definitely not ready now but I'm not sure if I ever will be.

(Line break)

After our lunch we go for a walk and a silence settles over us. Not the comfortable silence that makes u feel safe and happy, no, it's the awkward kind the one that seems to stretch on for forever. "I think we should head back," I finally say to break the silence. He doesn't even look at me when he answers and agrees. Once we are back without a second glance he's in our room with the door closed. I sit down on the couch and smile softly as Chairman jumps onto my lap. " You still love me, right Chairman Meow?" I say chuckling softly when he purrs as I scratch behind his ears.

An hour later with Chairman and my thoughts, I'm snapped back to reality when I hear the bedroom door being opened and closed. Magnus is descending the steps and my face brighten when I see his expression. His eyes are sparkling with happiness and amusement and his lips are curved into a smirk. I realize it's not directed at me when his eyes land on mine and he instantly frowns as if he forgets I'm here. I have to look away afraid that he'll see my heart breaking then. His phone buzzes and he grins when he reads it, me already forgotten.

I heave a sigh of relief when the home phone starts ringing and I carefully pad into the kitchen. I carefully bring it to my ear and listen. "Hey baby, you gonna come over tomorrow?" The caller says in a low seductive town. "Um do I know you?" I ask thoroughly confused. "Oh, is Magnus there?" I stand in the kitchen in silence. "Hello? Are u still there?" The caller asks sounding irritated. I suddenly feel a surge of anger, who was this person and how did they know Magnus? What gave them the right to be giving his Magnus nicknames? Without a twinge of guilt I hung up and glared at the phone.

I came back where Magnus was sitting and sat down still feeling the remaining anger starting to subside a little. A buzzing suddenly interrupted the silence and I jumped surprised. Magnus grabbed his phone and grinned as he answered it. He started frowning. "I'm sorry, my friend must've answered-no just a friend it's not important, and didn't I tell u I'm more likely to answer my personal one?" Magnus said amused. My heart plummeted, was he taking to the person I just hung up with? And did he say I was just a friend, I wasn't just a friend I should be special to him! I tuned out the rest of their conversation and focused on watching Magnus's expressions. I watched as he looked so happy and free talking to someone else. I've never seen him look that happy with me since a long time. I blinked back tears and hastily stood up darting into his bedroom. His. No, Ours?

I slammed the door harder then I intended to and sank down to the floor. I stared blankly ahead not wanting to feel anything. Some time later I managed to find the strength to walk over and collapse on the bed and I could feel the tears threatening to spill over. Why can't I be loved? I thought sadly. To be honest I can't blame Magnus for getting annoyed at my, I know he no longer loved me but I need to stay with him a little longer to at least pretend that I had someone. I'm lucky he didn't want to break my pathetic heart yet.

I wish I was someone better, I wish I could be care free like Magnus, not caring what the world thought of him. Or I wish I could be Jace, being the perfect son my parents always wanted me to be. My parents. The thought of them made my heart clench. My parents found out who I was and hated me, they couldn't stand to see me, couldn't stand the though of being related to me. Me a freak, a disappointment. It took long enough for Magnus to finally realize what a freak I am. He was blind trying to convince me and him that I was something special.

Maybe I could disappear, Magnus would be relieved I wouldn't be his burden anymore and my siblings would eventually get over it. After a month everyone would forget about me. And Alexander Lightwood would be long forgotten by everyone.

My first chapter of the story ^-^ plz review so I'll know whether or not to continue it!