Written for the Chocolate Frog Cards Challenge: Ethelred the Ever-Ready - Write about somebody taking offence.

Words: 678

A Brother's Guilt: It Started With A Girl

"Sirius, I have a question."

"Shoot." He took a long drag of his cigarette before looking at her, smiling. Through the moonlit darkness, he could see the furrowing of her brow and his smile quickly faded. The conversation had been lightheaded until now, but Sirius had a feeling it wasn't going to stay that way.

Up here, sat on the windowsill in a disused corridor at night, Sirius often felt like nothing could touch him, like all the bad things would stay away. He'd forgotten that, when he decided to bring Marlene with him, he invited them in.

"When you left home... when you were sorted into Gryffindor and got a second chance... did you just leave your brother behind? Did you just forget about him?"

He could feel her eyes boring into him, but he looked away. He took another long drag of his cigarette, letting the smoke burn its way down to his lungs, and looked down at the hard stone floor.

"It was complicated, Marlene."

"Then explain it to me."

"Why do you need to know?" he asked, finally turning to look at her.

She didn't miss a beat. "Because I'm still trying to work you out, Black. Because I need to know what kind of person you are. You want a relationship with me? Fine. But I need you to be honest."

Sirius almost laughed. If he'd have known what he was getting himself in for, he probably wouldn't have bothered. But no one ever did write a manual on women, and now he was certain he was in too deep. He sighed, throwing the burnt end of his cigarette out through the broken pane of glass beside him.

"I didn't leave him behind. I wrote to him a lot that first year, actually. I wanted to go home and tell him there was another way, that I'd found the key. I wanted both of us out," he admitted.

"So, what happened?"

"He never got my letters. He got our mother, instead. She filled his mind with hate. When I went back the next summer, he wasn't the same kid anymore. He'd stopped being my little brother. He was her son."

"And then?"

"And then what?"

"Well, what did you do? Did you try to talk to him?"

Sirius fixed her with a curious look. "Why would I? I'd lost him."

"It didn't even cross your mind to try, did it?" All of a sudden there was venom in Marlene's voice.

"Why would it? I was twelve years old, and I was happy. He seemed happy enough. Why get in the way of that and make a huge mess when it might not have even been what he wanted?" Sirius tried to argue, but he could tell already by the steel glaze in her eyes that it was pointless.

"Oh, he seemed happy. Well, that's alright then. It's not like you used the same trick a million times over. It's not like you couldn't have seen the signs if you'd have looked hard enough," she said, turning away from him.

"Marlene, I was a kid! You're actually taking offence at something I didn't do six years ago?" he asked, incredulous.

"Yeah, I am. Yes."

She began to stand up, wringing her hands around each other like they were covered in him, and she was washing him off.

"What? Why?" Sirius stood as well, holding his arms out as if it was some kind of sacrifice he was making.

"Because everyone deserves a chance, Sirius. You were his chance. Don't you see that? You were the one person in his life who saw a boy instead of some weapon or a card waiting to be played. And you... you didn't even try. You didn't even give him up as a lost cause, you just... didn't bother."

As Marlene walked away, Sirius wasn't even sure what had hit him. He thought about following her, but he knew it was no use. Instead, he sat back down, pulled a box from his pocket and lit another cigarette.