This is my first attempt to write a Hiiro no Kakera story. I'm not sure if I can do it, simply because I recently saw the anime and I love it, it became my favorite anime, it's just perfect… and how can I mess with perfection? Anyway don't be so strict with me and any comment/review/point out/advise will be very welcome! ^_^
Head-canon (somewhere at start of season 2 Dai Ni Shou)
Disclaimer: I don't own Hiiro no Kakera. I own the title and the plot of this story. Also I don't own the cover image; I found it on the Internet so the credit goes to the original artist! This is non-profit story and I'm not making any money from it.
With me
Tamaki's P.O.V.
"I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…"
It was the same voice I was hearing, the same one that started speaking to me the very day I stepped foot in Kifu Village. It echoed once more through my sleep, haunting my dreams.
I felt water building up in my eyes and before I could prevent it, teardrops rolled down my cheeks. Usually, around this part of the dream, I would feel myself getting up but this time, something...something was different. A bell rang in the back of my head as I was able to realize something, to recognize or to at least, remember.
"I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…"
No! This was wrong! I forced my will through my head like a mantra; I have to wake up...I have to wake up...I have to wake up now! I had no idea what was happening. I felt like I did know what was happening, but at the same time, I didn't. I understood what was happening, but I didn't understand. I saw, but I didn't see.
A form stirred, one that I couldn't recognize. It reminded me of a cloud that had started to fade...just like an old memory. It was like a blurry picture. The form turned towards me and I felt my heard sink into my chest. It felt like a large, invisible hand was grasping at it and squeezing it. Hard.
"How can I apologize…?"
I forced my new mantra through my head. I have to wake up! I just have to! At the same time, though, I knew that this was my chance to finally find out who this mysterious person was. I needed to figure out his name, at least. Who was this person to haunt my dreams every night? I wasn't able to hear my voice when I tried to ask, "Who are you?"
Blood roared through my ears as fear gripped my stomach. Something was wrong, totally wrong. I couldn't wake up.
"How I allowed any of this to happen?"
I felt a cold chill creep up my spine. I was lost. Lost into the vast realm of a memory, one that didn't even belong to me. A mighty wind ruffled my hair and caused the trees to sway forcefully. The red leaves started to fall like a light and colorful rain. My breath stopped before my lips as I looked up, breathless. I fell to my knees, lifting my hand in front of me as I wanted to...
Words could not express how I felt when the form had turned and I was able to see...No!
Desperately I clung to the memory with a vise-like grip. I know you! I've seen your face! And then, something hit me. Grabbed me, almost, and embraced me with a great force that pressed me to follow it. My vision turned black and my entire being jumped out of my sleep. I woke in cold sweat. I was still under pressure, breathing heavily and trying to calm my strong heartbeat.
"Tamaki? Tamaki!?" The voice reached my ears and I attempted to figure out the speaker.
"That voice…" I whispered holding my head. My sudden headache was killing me. I covered my eyes, trying to gain my self control.
"Tamaki, are you okay?"
The voice was filled with fear and was becoming louder by the second. As it went on, I realized that I wasn't only hearing that voice but I was also being shaken. Strong hands grasped my shoulders and were shaking me lightly. Ignoring my confusion and pain, I pressed myself back to reality. I blinked a couple of times. My vision cleared and I gasped. "T-Takuma…? W-what are you doing here?"
But as I looked around, where exactly was 'here'? A shiver swept through be as a sudden breeze blew by and instinctively, I rubbed my bare arms with my hands. Why wasn't I wearing a jacket or something?
Takuma started at me, absolutely puzzled, like he thought I wasn't in a right mind. For a split second, I thought that I had really lost my mind. I shook my head, taking a look around. My eyes widened in shock. I was in the middle of the forest! And the strangest part? I was lying on the cold earth, wearing nothing but a simple shirt and skirt. Feeling the cold penetrating me fully and the fact that I wasn't wearing a jacket was just a simple detail – I wasn't even wearing shoes!
"What happened?" I asked, feeling confused.
Takuma hesitated for a while. To me, he looked like he was about to say something, but kept on deciding against it. Finally, apparently he couldn't take it. "Tamaki… I was patrolling the shield when I heard a strange noise so I decided to come and make sure that everything is fine, when…" he bit his lips and glanced away.
"When, what?" I asked immediately. But something in the back of my mind was telling me that I knew the answer already and surprisingly, I felt heat across my face. I rushed to look down.
"When I saw you walking into the forest," Takuma replied only to make my blush harder. "I called you, but you didn't answer. You looked like you couldn't hear me. I came closer when you did something… strange."
"What I did?" Again I knew the answer as the images of my dream were still too clear.
"You were mumbling to yourself, things I wasn't able to catch. Then you knelt down, slowly. I came in front of you calling your name again and again but you were looked like under ecstasy or something. Then I realized that you were crying and you weren't even dressed to be outside. I worried and I tried to wake you up but you didn't react. I started shaking you when you lifted your hand, touching my face and you said…"
As Takuma was explaining, I held my breath. Now, hearing his last words I felt an untamed desire to jump to my feet and run away. I wasn't sure if I was dreaming anymore and I was sleepwalking. Sure this time there's no way to press him to tell me what I said; I know perfectly well and there's no need to hear it again.
"I-I was d-dreaming and…" I paused, suddenly unsure of myself.
This voice… the feeling that I finally realized… and here now, in the middle of the forest with Takuma holding me like I was made from glass. At the memory of the voice and hearing Takuma's words I was feeling extremely fragile myself, and my head was killing me once again.
I rubbed my arms again in an attempt to keep myself warm but it wasn't enough.
"What did you see, Tamaki?" Takuma inquired, dropping his voice into a whisper.
"Umm," I hummed still lost.
We stay like this, with him staring at me waiting, and I was staring… nowhere specific as my mind was elsewhere.
"Tamaki…?" Takuma asked softly, prompting me to talk, but I wasn't sure.
I took a deep breath, "I… was seeing things from my past …"
He lifted his eyebrows in wonder.
"…or my future," I ended up and the same moment I spelled out the last few words I felt like a heavy burden lifted off my shoulders and now I was ready to collapse again.
Takuma's hands momentarily squeezed my shoulders harder. "Don't worry, Tamaki," his voice sounded strong and determinate, but I sensed a light hint of anxiously. "I will protect you no matter what. I'm your guardian and I will always be by your side."
"B-but…" I was ready to cry again and I didn't know why. His words were so comforting, even his presence was making calmer, washing my stress away. So why I couldn't control myself anymore. "I'm the Tamayori-hime… I have to protect you all…"
Takuma cut me off gently. "Don't doing this to yourself, Tamaki," he pleaded me. "You don't have to worry so much about everything alone; because you are not alone. I'm with you…"
My eyes widened as I felt his fingers tighten on mine, gripping my hand securely in his. I didn't trust myself to look in his eyes at that moment, so I shifted to look at our linked hands instead. He came closer pressing his other hand around my shoulder, and gently he pushed me into his lap in a warm and protective embrace.
In his strong arms I felt I was bending under the weight of responsibility. I slowly wrapped my arms tightly around him as I leaned forward to hug him. "T-Takuma…"
Takuma bowed his head and I felt his hot breath caressing my ear. "It's ok, Tamaki. It's ok."
My heart bounced in my chest ready to jump out of my body. Takuma only hugged me tighter, closer to his body. "I promise that everything will be ok."
Tears rolled down my cheeks again but this time a shy smile appeared on my lips as I leaned my head against his chest. I closed my eyes, relaxing at his strong heartbeat. For an unknown reason I felt peace inside. A strange warmness that flew from my heart, and spreading all over my body, covering me fully. I didn't bother or waste time, trying to understand what this feel is about, and why my heart was beating faster in a different kind of beat, or even why I wanted to stay like this, –into his arms– until the end of the world.
'Takuma… as long as you are with me… I know that everything will be ok…'
FanFiction Trade with CrimsonSnowScarletFate. I really hope you like it and I can't wait to read your story to me ;)
Special thanks to my beta Stuffy Puppy!
Well, what you think guys… like it, hate it, love it… what? Please review and tell me! ^_^