A/N: First and foremost, this one shot is NSFW. Rated: Mature. You know where the exits are, please read responsibly. )

Next, I've not actually seen the last few episodes of season 4. I've seen screen shots, read spoilers, and pieced a concept/timeline together in my mind so if it turns out the order of events is inaccurate, you can understand why.

Finally, it is written as a follow up to Solace, to fulfill a prompt request received on , for a little Leorai smut. I don't know if you've read my smut scenes before but I like it to have purpose. It either moves the story forward or demonstrates a new level of connection between the characters. I write it awkward on purpose and don't think I've ever tried to write it in my prose style (it was HARD, no pun intended, okay pun totally intended). Plus, it's Leorai so you know they took over and well, it was their scene so I let them.

Playlist this fic: Stay, Rihanna; Hunger, Ross Copperman; I Don't Wanna Live Forever, Zayn & TSwift, Flashlight, Hailee Steinfeld; and Say You Won't Let Go, James Arthur

This f #$er took me two days to write and my betas are busy, so WTF really? If I reread this thing one more time I might sprout horns. So, here people have a fic.

Sanctuary

"You were a risk, a mystery, and the most certain thing I'd ever known." -Beau Taplin

Their loss was fresh enough for her physical wounds to heal but not enough that the ache didn't hang over them. It was in the breaths of silence, the closed doors at the far side of the dojo, the bonsai tree, and the photo… Ghosts of a lingering soul that would look upon them one last time, before completing its journey into the afterlife.

It was in that window the pain ran deep; emotions were hot then cold, and tepid in between. Nothing made sense and yet everything did, all at once. Or maybe it was just that what made sense were the little things she'd ignored far too long.

He'd brought her to Northampton, both of them searching for grounding but as the sun melted into the treetops, smoldering flames singeing the pines at their peaks, she wondered if they'd ever find it.

The moon rose, a pure, cool drink of water that washed the heat away. But as the day's warmth evaporated, the chill of night had her pressing herself tight to Leo. He planted his lips to her brow and rubbed her arms. "You're shivering."

"No- I'm- not." Her teeth were chattering and she ground them together, determined to make them stop.

Leo exhaled a faint breeze of warmth across her cheek as he shifted about. "Let's go inside. We can come back tomorrow; spend as much time as you need."

Her insides jerked. What? What did he think this was? It was him that had been mourning, withdrawing from his brother's and friends to meditate, taking long walks by himself and disappearing without telling anyone…

It had been her that found him, perched on the rooftop where they first met, a beautiful inhuman silhouette with sapphire bandana tails whipping about, tattered and torn. Like him.

She strode forward, her boots scraping the tar-coated rooftop. Frowning, she tucked a wisp of hair behind her ear as she sat on the ledge beside him. "Come home, Leo. Your brothers need you."

He gazed over the city, staring into the golden haze of lights, like blurry stars in the night air. The wind rushed by her ears, whipping across the roof, rough as it cut through her coat and hammered her chest. The ache was everywhere she went… and that same pain created the tired lines on Leo's young face.

He sighed and she felt the hurt beneath the faint sound. "I'll be there soon."

His voice had been strained, as though he were forcing sounds over a waterfall. She struggled with the urge to throw her arms around his neck, to hold him, to press the hurt from them both. But she didn't. That wasn't who she was. Or was it? There was a great swell in her chest, the twisted aching muscle that grieved their loss, seeking relief but not knowing how to find it. At least not yet.

It wasn't until he brought her to his grave that reality dealt her a blow nothing could have prepared her for. The world tipped and spun, her control was slipping, and everything she thought she understood meant nothing. There was only one terrible reality left.

Her only living parent was gone.

And she never really got to know him, to spend more than fleeting moments with him. She'd been too busy pushing forward, seeking an end to their tragic tale.

It hadn't gone the way she wanted.

It wasn't supposed to end like this.

She was supposed to be free; they were supposed to be a family. It would have always been incomplete without her mother, but at least she would have her father. It would finally be over.

That was how it should have been.

But that- that was not to be.

There were only the four Hamato's now. And the one brother that she adored and respected above all others, who'd fought for her, and with her, the one who believed in her even when she didn't believe in herself, he would become their anchor.

She glared at him, knew she was going to fight him every step of the way no matter what the issue. Though she couldn't say why. He tempted her, teased her, provoked her, and yet respected her. He was her best friend. Perhaps her first true friend. He'd come for her anywhere, to save her from their enemies, and sometimes, more than anyone should, he saved her from herself.

Everything she knew before him was constructed of lies, theft, manipulation and deceit. And everything he was came from some teenage version of honor, good intentions, confidence, a talent for strategy and some death wish that he'd attribute to the greater good.

Well he was a fool.

But then, she supposed, so was she.

No matter what he was made of, she wasn't about to let him put this visit entirely upon her. No sir.

"As much time as I need?" She echoed, getting to her feet. "As much time as I need? As opposed to what? As opposed to-" She waved her hands back and forth between them. "I don't know, you?"

Leo's eyes followed her as he stood, already shaking his head. "I didn't mean-"

Her jaw shifted as she thrust a finger into his plastron. How this boy could drive her mad! Did he think for one minute that he was going to make her out to be a victim? Sure, she had her moments of weakness, but so had he.

Maybe it was the mutual profession of love leaving her uneasy, but she wouldn't be confused for some crushed flower. She was resilient, strong and flexible. She could adapt. She would survive and while he set out to focus on her, she knew that in the end so would he.

His vibrant blues dropped to her hand and he reached up, enclosing her small pink palm in his thick, green one. Then they were both talking at the same time, their voices seeming to prompt the insects to sing their terrible songs even louder just to drown them out.

She leaned in, yanking her hand free to thump her index against the thick keratin that shielded him. "You don't get to treat me like I'm the fragile one! Like- like I'm the only reason we're here!"

His mask lifted and gathered between his eyes. "Aren't you though? I was here for his burial while you were laid up in a hospital bed after trying to get yourself-" He stopped short, his eyes darting between hers, but it was too late.

She felt the bite of his words and everything they implied. Maybe if she hadn't gone after Shredder the fight wouldn't have happened. Then Splinter would still be here. She struggled not to lash out, because some part of her had thought it too.

"I know that look. It's not what I meant." He reached out but she blocked him. The corners of his mouth drew back in a grimace. "You're taking this all wrong. I just meant we can-"

She swiped away his outstretched hands, turning to stomp her way back to the house.

She expected him to call after her.

She was sure he would argue with her.

Because that's what they did, that's how they kept going when everything was crumbling in on them.

There was always doubt, that one day there might not be a last minute save, some twist of luck that made it all work out. Part of her wondered if this loss wasn't everything she'd feared but kept to herself. Things weren't working the way she understood. Both of them kept getting emotional then falling apart, putting each other back together only to shatter a fragile wall before the cement could dry.

He did call for her.

But he didn't sound right.

It wasn't the confident tone, tinged with a sweet blend of affection and amusement, nor was it the playful banter laced with true irritation.

This sound stilled her feet, gripped her very being as though his fingers had reached in her chest and held her beating heart. "I don't want to fight. Not. Now. Please, Karai. Can we- just– not? I'm– I'm tired."

She looked over her shoulder; saw the frown, his plastron shudder as he forced a breath. His eyes drifted to the headstone then skimmed the ground beneath her feet.

They were exhausted, knew this was a short reprieve, a brief moment that would come and go before their next moves would be made. He would return home to lead his brothers. And thought she hadn't told him yet, she would be leaving them for a while; knowing this brought a fresh ache to her heart.

But they were together right then. They had now. And after all he'd done for her she would hold onto him, she wanted to do what the stubborn part of her wouldn't let her before. She needed his arms around her, to rest her head against the rough plates that made up his chest, to breathe in the unique scent that was Leonardo, to lose herself in him; if only for the little time they had.

She reached out and took his huge hand in hers, rubbing her thumb in small circles over his pebbled skin. "Come with me." She squeezed his fingers, tugging lightly as they walked back to the house.

He followed without argument or complaint and some part of her was bothered by this, yet understanding soon followed. There were no words to speak that would change what was. There was merely pain, the terrible loss that hung over them and hurt like they'd lost the war… and in a way they had.

Only the fading sound of insects could be heard as they climbed the porch steps, venturing inside the unlit house, the air laden with the scent of moth balls. They stopped upstairs in the room they were sharing and she released him, motioning to the twin beds bathed in faint strips of moonlight; both bearing patchwork quilts older than them. "Help me push them together."

He stiffened. "Why?"

Her teeth ground together at his questioning. But the way his words hung in the air, his voice raw and thready, the rare sound stripped away pieces of her, and she found it hard to be as sharp as she wanted. She still couldn't say why she felt that way at all.

There was only one thing that had pierced the blanket of grief enveloping them. It had been those few stolen kisses, the seconds her mouth met his that she'd felt any relief at all. She wanted that back, and if it kept them from shattering, if his touch mended the broken places in her and hopefully him, how could that be wrong? Her eyes pricked and she swallowed her spite, the biting words that tumbled from her even in the darkest of moments. Maybe it was how she coped, kept up the facade of cool when she was dying inside.

But all of that, her fight, their fight, the war, the battle, the game, all the lies, the struggle, and the devastating loss, it all stood still with the delicate brushing of skin, the heat in an exchange of breaths and shared tears.

She didn't answer him right away, considering her words carefully as she began moving the furniture. He didn't press, and soon the two twins were one large bed.

Her heart picked up a hard jerking beat as she set her gaze on him, moving so close her breasts mashed against his plastron. He was frozen stiff, eyes wide, as she ran her fingers along the frayed ends of his mask.

Her lips parted as he lifted his head toward her, but she couldn't quite figure out how to say what she wanted. Slowly, his arms snaked around her, pulling her against him. His eyes shone in the pale light from the window, that incredible blue that had captured her the night they met. His mouth hovered near hers, the very essence of him heating her lips. "What are you doing, Karai?"

She didn't know, and yet she did, but didn't. She was sure of one thing, but as she attempted to answer her voice came out small, and it hit her that the grief was overflowing from her too. "I- I'm-" Damn tears filled her eyes, clung to her lashes and slipped down her cheeks. When he leaned in to kiss them away she turned her head, capturing his mouth against hers. Her heart lifted and her stomach fluttered about like a bird in a cage. There, there was relief, a brief escape from the curtain of hurt. Together they could push it back. She reached for his mask, their mouths crashing together in growing frenzy. She made quick work of the knot, but couldn't bring herself to let it fall.

His hands rested awkwardly on her hips, then wrapped around her before dropping again. She bound the material around her wrist, tying it off and stepping back to look upon his bare face. His eyes were half closed, then he swallowed hard, his plastron lifting and dropping like his heart would burst free at any second. He opened his mouth to speak, his lips even moved but nothing came out. When he peered into her again she lost a breath at the smoky dark blue glistening with unshed tears.

She reached for an elbow pad, unfastening one before moving to another. He managed a choked, "Karai…" but made no move to stop her.

Her pulse was thrumming, a whooshing in her head that made everything beyond sound softer, farther away. She unbuckled his belt and shoulder strap, then moved around him in a circle, carefully lowering his scabbard to the floor.

He was trembling as she dropped to her knees in front of him, removing one knee pad then the other. He shifted, moving his feet apart then let out a soft groan, and she caught glimpse of his tail lowering between his thick muscled thighs. In the same second he grabbed her arms, jerking her up to look her in the eye. "W-w-what-" He was breathing hard, his voice shaky. He inhaled, squeezed her biceps and yanked her to him, kissing her hard.

Yes. This. Please. Make it all go away. Take me away. "Leo," she sighed, as he tore his mouth from hers, burying his face in her shoulder. Please don't stop. Please. I need this. I need you. It was difficult to breathe for the frantic beating of her heart.

He ran his lips along her collar bone, grazing her with his teeth, her blood jolting hot as his fingertips dug into her arms, his breath heating her flesh as he demanded, "What are you doing?"

Her chest clenched at the new tone, the deep voice with a bite to it. Yet he planted tiny kisses against her throat and her core grew slick. What were they doing? Chasing away the pain in some safe haven that existed purely between the two of them? Her throat ached as she reached around, gripping the ridge of his carapace. "I don't know," she managed.

He straightened, his grip loosening, and her heart jerked, her hands grasping at his broad shoulders. "No, Leo, what I mean is-" Their eyes met, his intense blue gaze conflicted and hers tear-filled. "All I know is this-" she tapped her heart, "This only stops hurting when I'm- close to you."

He stared at her, blinking, his fingertips hovering over her arms, searing her skin with his energy. Pressure built behind her eyes and her lip quivered. She bit it, struggling with the stone in her throat. Her cheeks were damp, her chest wet with the downpour she struggled to contain.

His eyes became glossy, his brow furrowing as he took a step toward her and nodded. As they reached for one another a faint whisper ghosted her ear. "Me too."

Fresh tears coated her lashes, his cool pebbled cheek brushing hers, the life of him breathing sweet relief into her. Fumbling hands reached for the hem of her shirt, worked it over her head, leaving her skin bare to the rough edges of his plastron. She traced the angled planes of his face, wiped his tears away and pulled him closer. Her lips thrummed with a pulse of their own as she tasted him, sweet but salty and yet warm and cool. Wherever he was she wanted to be, to stay, to hold on to the one who never gave up on her. And she hoped he never would.

His hands began to roam, trembling fingers over the back of her bra, fumbling with the clasp while moving her steadily toward the bed. She wrapped her arms around his neck, spreading her legs as he lowered them to a protesting mattress. He smiled against her cheek and she responded in kind. Here, with him, was her strength renewed, her foundation, her friend. And she loved him, long before this night, long before she'd admit it to him or herself. He tossed away the scrap of lace, his eyes darting to her face, checking for uncertainty. But he would find none here.

He settled his body against hers and she got her first real feel for the weight of him, for all the rough edges against her smooth. He lifted his torso, shifting his weight into one arm as he peered between them, his eyes shifting to her once more before settling on her breasts. She stroked his cheek, letting her fingers slide down around to his neck as he lowered his mouth over a pink crest. She gasped, her chest lifting to meet his lightly prodding tongue. Her body was an electric force, jolts of current firing from her heart to her dripping core.

He released her nipple, kissing the dip between her peaks. "You okay?"

Gods she couldn't form words, she could barely think for the beautiful face looking up at her. Why had she waited so long? She managed a nod and a soft smile played at the edges of his lips. She wanted to kiss him again, but he was switching sides and she was writhing, reaching down and pulling on his arms, desperate for more. He inched lower, kissing a path down to the waist of her pants. He ran a finger along the band, unbuttoning them. They slid easily over her ass, but stuck on her thighs for the knife strapped on her right. He actually chuckled as he made quick work of buckle, letting her weapon drop to the floor. Her heart leapt at the sweet sound of his laugh, one she hadn't heard since that fateful day. He was happy. This was easing his ache too. Her eyes pricked again and she smiled at him, wanting badly to hold him in her arms, to feel him against her, yet eager for what was yet to be.

He lowered his lips to the thin lace covering her sex, the heat of his breath sending tremors throughout. Her chest shuddered as she exhaled, her heart pounding against her ribs as he hooked a shaking finger over the material. "Karai," his lips were to her skin, and it was all she could do not to cry his name.

"Hmm?" she murmured. Her feet slid along the quilt as she resisted the urge to demand that he return to her, that he kiss and hold her because he was building her into some kind of frenzy that might just drive her mad.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" He kissed her lower, his breath igniting a spark at her sensitive nub. Oh, gods, what kind of torture was this? How could he waste time asking questions? She wouldn't have started this whole thing if she wasn't sure!

She reached down, tapping him on the shoulder. "Yes."

Still he hesitated, breathing over the fabric, heating the nest of curls just beneath. She wanted to scream when he kept talking. "I- I'm different. It won't be like it would with a human."

"No shit." What did he think; that she hadn't seen him?

She scoffed as he sighed.

Her teeth ground together as he exhaled over her again and she commanded her hips not to lift to his face. He needed reassurance of all people? His breaths teased her, little puffs of heat that had her soaked for want of him. "Gah," she snapped. "We have met, right? Me, half-snake girl, and you turtle boy. Nice to meet you, can you please stop torturing me and let's do this?"

His head snapped up, his eyes wide. "Torture?"

Oh, for fucks sake. Literally.

She glared at him. "You are breathing all over me down there and it is driving me nuts. Can we move to what happens next, or do I need to take over here?"

He searched her face, then his attention drifted lower, following his fingers as he inched her panties down, over her ass, flinging them aside. Strong hands reached for her thighs, gently urging her farther apart as he lowered himself between them. Her muscles began to tremble, her center surely a waterfall for all of his breathing on her. Just when she thought he'd worked her to a somewhat agitated yet euphoric state, a tentative tongue traced the edge of her folds. Her breath fled her as she grasped the quilt, bucking her hips as she unraveled. Or so she thought.

He let out a soft hum as he lapped at her core, sending tiny vibrations throughout. She gasped, her hand flying down to the crown of his head as she writhed beneath him. Encouraged, he dipped that sweet smooth tongue into her opening. Delightful tremors rolled through her, yet she ached deep inside. What heaven and hell was this? He lifted his face, turning his lips to her palm, kissing her as he moved his other hand to her center, pushing a thick fingertip against her.

Her entire body was a trembling, shaking mess, yet she wanted more. She needed more. He kissed her hand again then lowered the warm haven of his mouth over her nub, teasing her with his tongue while pushing a single finger farther inside her. Her heart was galloping as she stretched, the burn of his intrusion slight, yet she was slick and soon welcomed him. He exhaled a shuddering breath as her walls clung to his index and she struggled to comprehend this new feeling. Her eyelids fluttered, her chest pumping like they'd been sparring for hours. "Leo," she whimpered.

He pulled his hand from her, his wide, frightened eyes catching hers. "Did I hurt you?"

Well damn him for being close to perfect. Her heart swelled, moist heat burning her eyes as she beckoned him to her. "No." She cupped his cheek in her palm as she reached for him, tasted herself on his lips. Damn him for coming into her life, for turning it upside down and making her question everything. Damn him for bringing her the truth when the lies hurt less. Damn him for stripping her bare, for getting in, and for her wanting him there.

Her fingers left his face, sliding along his unyielding shoulder, dipping under his arm and causing him to wiggle. She snickered as her fingers continued their voyage, along his bridge, dipping inward to caress the tender flesh just beneath, greeted this time with a shiver. He held himself up on his forearms, his face buried in her hair, sucking and nibbling on her neck as she reached the inside of his thigh then bumped the wide thick muscle of his tail.

His breath hitched as she grasped the delicate skin, wider than her hand could encircle. His plastron began to rise and fall faster as she slid her palm down to the tapering end, then back up until she found a dip in the underside. She brought her other hand down, still holding him, aware that his entire body was shaking. He nipped her harder and she smiled, rubbing her cheek along his as she traced the dripping circle. Slowly, he emerged into her waiting hand. She felt about as he shifted his weight to send one hand flying up to the headboard. It creaked in protest and she bit her lip to keep from laughing. My how things were turned around now…

His length slid up between them, smooth, thick and hard. How long was he? She felt along his shaft, curling her fingers around his flared head, wide and shaped like an orchid. She paused, her mind whirring and slow to catch up to what her body was already telling her. He was wider than his finger.

"Karai." He ground her name out, the mattress groaning as he shifted, the tip of him growing wet as he thrust lightly in her hand. "I need you to do this, when you're ready. I don't want to hurt you."

He hissed between his teeth, his hips rocking forward again. She rushed hot, seeing him strain, feeling him throbbing in her hand. Putting her in control. He was yielding to her. He was hers. She grasped the end of him, spreading her legs wider beneath him as she guided him to her center. He lifted his head from her throat, bruised from his kisses, their eyes met and he made his first push against her then lowered his mouth to hers.

She burned, stretching to open, unbearably tight even with their combined juices. She let out a yelp as a sharp pain shot through her. She knew it would be uncomfortable, but this hurt! Her fingers left his member, grasping at his arms, then sliding over his carapace. "Ow! Shit, Leo!"

He froze, his eyes darting over her, searching her for injury. He shifted about, inadvertently pushing himself deeper and stretching her wider. "Ow! Shit! Stop moving, dammit!"

"I'm sorry!" He shifted again, ready to withdraw but this brought a new sharp pain through her.

She reached up, hooking two fingers under his jaw. "I. Said. Stop. Moving."

His head tipped to the pressure and she released it, ready to focus on her straining nether regions. Then he bobbed his head to agree with her and she felt the movement in her pelvis in little jerks and tugs.

"Leonardo! Stop. Moving. Just-" She forced a breath, trying to relax while her muscles gripped him in a panic.

"What do you want me to do?" he pleaded.

"Just- give me a second." As she closed her eyes, focusing on her breath, willing herself to accept him, his scent filled her head, warm and spicy and all Leo. Her Leonardo. Her friend. Her… lover. Her eyes pricked with tears, a great wave building in her chest as she looked at him, young, with the burden of the world on his shoulders, more seasoned than many a man, loyal and devoted, determined and steadfast.

And hers.

All hers.

"I don't want to hurt you." His lip trembled, his eyes welling.

Damn tears spilled over, his and hers. "Kiss me and it will be okay. I'm okay."

Doubt flickered over his boyish features, tenderness and vulnerability the leader seldom revealed. His lips met hers and she lifted her hips pushing him deeper. She took deep breaths, willing herself to open, because she was already exposed to him, her entire being, her very essence rising up to meet his, the two blurring together as he began to move inside her. They reached for one another, fingers intertwining, breath mingling, sweet pants and soft cries, tears of grief mingled with pure joy. Here was the shield she never asked for but desperately needed, a gift from the universe, her friend for this lifetime and hopefully every one after.

He was different.

They were changed.

Yet even as they grew, as life shaped them, they molded together. He took her in long smooth strokes, teasing her in all the right places as they found their way. She lifted her hips to greet his thrusts, dragged her tongue across his shoulder, tasting the salt of his sweat. He pressed himself closer, buried himself to the hilt inside her, rubbing her in tiny thrusts that sent jolts throughout her being. She clawed at the pillow, bit into his shoulder, and gods did she cry his name.

Their tongues were intertwining as they moved to a new rhythm, an intimate dance that balanced tenderness with passion rather than clashing steel in a match of skill. She began to build beneath him, the edge of his plastron teasing her, beckoning her to a finish she both wanted, yet didn't. He could love her like this, never stop and it still might not be enough.

Her eyes were wet as she ran her finger across his lip, dipping the end in just enough that he caught it lightly between his teeth, thrusting and rubbing inside her as he sucked the tip. He planted a kiss on her index then lowered his face to hers, his lips smooth, his tongue searching until he found her. This place where they were, nothing could touch them. He thrust again, reaching deep, their palms flush, his plastron rubbing her breasts tender as they sought to be as close as two beings could get. She held him to her as he came, spilling within her in a sweet release that sent her falling over the edge with him. Only she didn't care about the landing. Not here. In this place where there was only them and the world outside didn't exist. There was no grief here, in this, their sanctuary.