The Veriest Shrew of All

fluorescentpinkfairies

Rated: K
Warnings: Not really.
Spoilers: For Shakespeare's The Taming of the Shrew.
Disclaimer: Shakespeare. He owns it. Lucky dude.

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"Baptista: Now, in good sadness, son Petruchio, I think thou hast the veriest shrew of all."

All too true! Poor Petruchio to have Katherine for a wife! I find it hard to believe that it was I, rather than he, who was smashed over the head with the lute by that wretched woman! Even with the bribery of Baptista's fortune, I had thought that a close encounter with The Shrew would have changed hie mind. I can only imagine what that marriage will be like. I am surprised that they haven't yet tried to murder each other—or rather, she hasn't yet tried to murder him.

I find it rather hard to feel too sorry for old Petruchio, however. It could have been one of us (or rather, me) who was pushed and prodded into marrying Her. Imagine marrying Katherine! The very thought brings goosebumps to my arms. A terrible nightmare, indeed. I am rather frightened of my own wife, truth be told, and Katherine would simply be too much for my health to take.

What is this? Petruchio is betting the obedience of his wife against our wives? Hah! And for a hundred crowns? Double hah! Bianca will surely come. She is nothing like her sister, for she is most definitely a good wife. I did, after all, court her for a good while, and thus I know my judgement to be true.

This makes me suspicious, however. Why would Petruchio lay a hundred crowns on the line? This is a bet that he will not win—that he knows he cannot win. It makes no sense. I know this man is wise about his money and would not throw it away unless there was something going on beneath the surface. Has he been drinking too much wine? Though, I suppose that as this is an easy bet for either Lucentio or I to win, I will not complain.

What! Bianca will not come? Hmm. Perhaps it is her newly gained status that makes her so. A young wife, after all, may not be the most obedient at times. Naturally, I knew this, and therefore I married my widow, who is more experienced in the ways of governing a household and obeying her husband. She will most definitely come, even though Bianca will not.

What! I have crossed my fingers that she, the widow, would appear to us, and yet—nothing! How could she do this to me! I am her husband, and yet she disobeys? How could this be? My wife is not Katherine; she knows her place and status—beneath me! Is this a part of The Shrew's influence?

I will calm down. I will calm down. After all, it is not as though Katherine herself, The Shrew, will actually—

Gah! She—Katherine—what! Why! How could this have happened!

Wait. What? My widow is sitting by the fire, talking with Bianca? When she could have been winning me a hundred crowns!

This turn of events scares me. Yes, it scares me a lot.

Though I wonder, how is it that Petruchio was able to tame Katherine? And will he teach me the secret?

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Author's Space

Um, ha?

Well, I wrote this for Freshman Composition. My teacher liked it (gave me an A+) and I, being a bit thick, decided that I'd post it on fanfiction.

Ha.

Liked it, hated it, think Shakespeare amateurs like me should stay out of the damn archive, tell me so in a review. Or flame. Tell me.

And, if anyone decides that they want to put this in some kind of C2, just tell me before you do so or I WILL be angry when I find out.

Love,

bobby-girl fluorescent

(revamped 7/3/05)