I NOW WISH TO SOMEHOW TORTURE THE AKATSUKI...*GRINS EVILLY, CACKLING*
SASORI: DEIDARA?
DEIDARA: WHAT IS IT, YEAH?
SASORI: I'M SCARED....
AVATARGRL11: I DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER (HERMIONE ONLY), OR NARUTO! I GOT BORED, SO I JUST HAD TO ADD THE WHOLE UCHIHA SIBLING RIVALRY, AND WHAT BETTER WAY TO DO THAN...OH, I AM EVIL! I JUST THOUGHT OF A BETTER IDEA! MWA-HA-HA!
HERMIONE: WHY DO I HAVE A BAD FEELING THIS PLAN OF HERS INVOLVES ME...?
ITACHI: PROBABLY BECAUSE IT DOES.
KISAME: NO AMOUNT OF FISH IN THE WORLD IS WORTH THIS...
HERMIONE: UM, PROFESSOR UCHIHA...
ITACHI: WHAT IS IT, HERMIONE-SAN?
HERMIONE: DOES SHE ALWAYS ACT THIS WAY?
ITACHI: YEAH. MAINLY BECAUSE IN HER SICK AND TWISTED MIND, DEIDARA, SASORI, AND MYSELF ARE HER BITCHES, AND MUST DO WHATEVER SHE WRITES.
HERMIONE: WHAT ABOUT PROFESSOR HIDAN?
KISAME: *LAUGHING* HE'S SHIRA'S.
*THUD*
HIDAN: I DON'T FUCKING BELONG TO ANYONE!
SHIRA: HIDAN NO DANNA, DO I LOOK OK IN THIS?
*HIDAN GETS A NOSEBLEED AS HE SEES SHIRA IN A CATWOMAN OUTFIT*
*HERMIONE AND KONAN BEGIN LAUGHING*
KONAN: ALL RIGHT. ON WITH THE STORY.
HERMIONE: COMMENCING WITH 'MAN IN THE LONG BLACK CLOAK 4: DAWN OF A NEW DAY'
PROLOGUE: PEACE TALKS
Hermione looked up from her letter to Harry and Ron as Kisame came into the room. "You could knock." Kisame shrugged indifferently. "Didn't feel like it. What are you doing?"
"Writing to Harry and Ron. I'm just letting them know I'm okay, and not to worry. I didn't tell them anything else." Three months ago, Hermione had become Itachi Uchiha's apprentice, and still referred to him as 'Professor Uchiha'. What she hadn't expected was the fact that he had a shark as a partner. Hermione was terrified of sharks, and naturally, screamed when she saw Kisame, then fainted. Luckily, Itachi had moved forward just in time to catch her. Kisame and Hermione had come to a sort of truce, where she promised not to faint or scream if he didn't jump out and scare her. Kisame, however, couldn't resist. He jumped out from behind a pillar one time, and, as punishment, Hermione had turned him into a dog for twelve days. Crookshanks took to hissing whenever Kisame walked by, causing Kisame to run past the hideous cat. Kisame hated that fucking cat. It had taken a bite out of him when he'd frightened Hermione.
Kisame picked up the letter, reading it. 'Dear Harry and Ron, Everything's going great here. I'm learning how shoot at a faraway target, and how to tell apart different kinds of tracks, and how many people there are in a group if we're tracking someone, or hunting. Professor Uchiha is an amazing teacher, and a wonderful fighter. Shira says to say hello to you. I'm sorry I can't tell you everything, but I'd only be putting you in danger if you knew anything about this. I promise, one day, I'll tell you everything, but right now, I have to be careful about sending letters. We're being tracked by that boy from the raid, the one with the snake. I think he's with You-Know-Who, but Professor Uchiha's not telling me. Besides, he's too young to be a Death Eater. He's only 16, for heaven's sake! No, something else is going on here...' Kisame frowned. "You shouldn't have promised to tell them 'everything'."
Hermione seized the letter from him. "They have a right to know. And maybe they can help us fight that boy, and that 'Orochimaru' fellow." Kisame burst into hysterical laughter as they walked out of the room. "What? What'd I say?"
Hermione watched as the Akatsuki members filed into a large room. She made to follow Itachi, but he stopped her. "Wait here."
"But-"
"Wait here." Hermione gulped, nodding, then sat down on a nearby bench, waiting with Crookshanks and a book entitled 'Shinobi: A History of Ninja'.
"Hermione-nee-chan!" Hermione awoke to Shira standing over her, grinning. "What happened?"
"Suna and Kohona have agreed to peace treaty talks!" Hermione's jaw dropped, and the two girls began squealing in excitement. Hermione began chattering away about their outfits as she pulled Shira away.
As Shira threw her belongings into her bag, Konan watched silently. "Do you think I should take the blue outfit?"
"Shira-chan."
"I'm taking it anyway, just in-"
"Shira." The serious tone in Konan's voice made Shira pause, a shirt draped over her arms. "This isn't going to be the way you think it is. Sure, you'll see your friends again. But you don't know how they're going to react. Have you forgotten how much pain we caused them?" Shira looked at the floor. "Things are going to be different, Shira-chan. Some of them may not trust you, others will outright hate you. Don't forget that." Shira nodded, and Konan made to leave. "Konan-sama?"
"Yes?"
"Can I take my Akatsuki cloak, or..." Konan smiled. "Take it. But take your headband too."
Pain put his head in his hands. Konan hugged him from behind. "Having trouble agreeing on a spot for the peace talks, huh?" He nodded. "We can't have it in Sunagakure or Kohonagakure. We can't have it here. Where are we supposed to have it?!"
"Someplace not affected by the Akatsuki." Konan and Pain jumped as Hermione came out of the shadows. Then they looked at each other. Her idea made sense, but they couldn't think of a village unaffected by the Akatsuki that would welcome them. Finally, Hermione broke the silence. "You know, Dumbledore would certainly welcome you at Hogwarts, supposing you were there for peaceful reasons." Konan broke into a wide grin. "Hermione, you have just solved our problems." Hermione shrugged.
Two days later, at Hogwarts, Harry, Ron, Ginny, Neville, and Luna sat in Dumbledore's office, staring around them. They had been called here in the middle of classes, and nobody was even here. They heard voices outside the door, and Hagrid, Dumbledore and McGonagall came in. Hagrid was crying and smiling at the same time, Dumbledore was patting him on the shoulder and beaming, and McGonagall had an odd look on her face. Ginny finally broke the silence. "Erm, Professor Dumbledore, what-"
"Apparently, Miss Granger has decided to write a letter to you." Chaos broke out as the five students grabbed for the letter, and read it. 'Dear Harry, Ron, Ginny, Neville and Luna: Everything's going great here. I'm learning how shoot at a faraway target, and how to tell apart different kinds of tracks, and how many people there are in a group if we're tracking someone, or hunting. Professor Uchiha is an amazing teacher, and a wonderful fighter. Shira says to say hello to you. I'm sorry I can't tell you everything, but I'd only be putting you in danger if you knew anything about this. I promise, one day, I'll tell you everything, but right now, I have to be careful about sending letters. We're being tracked by that boy from the raid, the one with the snake. I think he's with You-Know-Who, but Professor Uchiha's not telling me. Besides, he's too young to be a Death Eater. He's only 16, for heaven's sake! No, something else is going on here...'
It broke off there, then resumed. 'Sorry about that. Kisame came in, and he and Professor Uchiha had to go to a meeting. I'm not allowed in yet, because I'm still a 'rookie'. On another note, I have some good news for you. Kohonagakure and Sunagakure have agreed to peace talks, and we'll be holding it at Hogwarts! By the time you get this letter, we should be about a few days away. See you then,
Hermione.' They stared down at the letter, and then Ginny and Luna started shrieking, and jumped up and down. "We have to go get changed! Who knows how many cute guys there may be!?"
"And there may be Nargles, too!" The two girls ran out of the office, quickly followed by Ron, Harry and Neville.
Half an hour later, the entire school was buzzing with the news that peace talks were being held at Hogwarts. Dumbledore had called off classes for the day, because nobody seemed able to focus. Instead, the students were helping the staff prepare the castle for visitors. As Harry wound streamers around the Great Hall, he glanced down at Neville. "You can open your eyes, Neville. I'm not that high up." Neville turned pale when he opened his eyes. Neville had been terrified of heights ever since that incident in his first year involving Malfoy, his Rememberall, and falling about fifty feet to the ground. He ended up breaking his wrist, and after that, he wouldn't get on a broom for any amount of money in the world. Harry landed beside him. "Erm, I think Ron's cleaning the dormitory. Maybe you can go help him." Looking extremely relieved, Neville nodded, and ran from the room.
Suddenly, Ron ran into the Great Hall, followed by Neville, Luna, and Ginny. "They're arriving!" They raced outside, and saw a group making their way through the courtyard. In the front was a redheaded boy with a large gourd on his back. Just behind him walked a sandy-haired girl with blue-green eyes and a large fan strapped to her back; a boy in purple makeup dressed entirely in black with a large bundle strapped to his back; a man with a cloth covering half his face; and a girl about the same age as Hermione with brown hair and black eyes. The girl with the fan sneered, "I don't see why we have to have the peace talks at this dump." The other girl sighed. "Temari-san, maybe you shouldn't judge it before you're even inside the doors."
"Oh, be quiet! If it wasn't for you being Gaara's assistant, you wouldn't even be here!" The boy with the makeup intervened. "Ladies, that's enough. Temari, she has a point. Ever heard the saying, 'You can't judge a book by it's cover'?" Harry laughed. That sounded like something Hermione would've said. Immediately, they all turned to look at him. The girl called Temari looked at him and sneered again. "What's so funny, you little twerp?"
"Nothing. It's just what he said reminded me of something a friend of mine would have said." Ron nodded. " 'Course, Hermione's in love with books, so...yeah." The boy with the make-up grinned as they walked into the Great Hall. "I'm Kankuro Subaku. The irritable blonde-"
"HEY!!!"
"-is my lovely sister, Temari. The brunette is Matsuri, that's Baki-" He pointed at the man. "And the tall, dark stranger is my kid brother, Gaara!" He slung an arm around Gaara's shoulder, grinning as Gaara gave him a deadly glare. "Only me, Temari and Matsuri are allowed to do that and live. So, who are you guys?"
"I'm Harry, that's Ron, Ginny, Neville, and Luna." Ginny blushed as Kankuro smiled at her. "Hey." Ron gave a warning growl as they sat down. Matsuri checked the clock on the wall. "Hmm...Tsunade-sama and her group should be here soon..." Matsuri had chosen a seat between Gaara and Harry. "Could you pass the potatoes, please?"
The next morning, the group from Kohonagakure arrived. They were a large group of 24. Their leader was an extremely large-breasted woman called Tsunade who immediately bet against Ron's winning a game of Wizard Chess against Harry, and racked up a debt of 600,000 Galleons. Her assistant was Shizune, who always carried Tonton, Tsunade's pet pig everywhere with her. Shizune often got frustrated with Tsunade for gambling and drinking, and had to hide all her money and alcohol, which Harry found hilarious. There were also representatives of various families from Kohonagakure.
Ron and Harry were making their way down to the dungeons when a very large spider skittered across Ron's foot. Ron froze in terror as it crawled up onto his head. At that moment, a boy came out of the shadows. He was probably about 17 or so, and was bundled up in a large coat, glasses hiding his eyes. "There you are, Clackers. Come along." He turned to Ron as the spider crawled onto the boy, clacking away happily. "Sorry about that. Clackers seems to like your hair color. Reminds her of blood." Ron turned green as the boy turned away. Harry called out. "Wait! What's your name?"
"Shino Aburame. I'm here with my father, Shibi Aburame, as the Aburame clan representatives. Who are you?" A shocked silence hung in the air. "I-I'm Harry Potter. That's Ron Weasley." Ron whimpered as Shino nodded at him. "Very well. I will see you both around. Clackers may want to speak with you again, Ron Weasley-san." He turned away, vanishing into the shadows. Ron finally regained his voice. "There are more of him!?"
When the lunch bell finally rang, everyone headed for the Great Hall. As they entered it, they saw a redheaded boy and redheaded man eating everything in sight as a blonde man, a scarred man, and a brunette woman looked disgusted. Shrugging, Harry went to sit down next to them at the Gryffindor table. "Hi. I'm Harry. This is Ron, Neville and Ginny." The redheaded man introduced them all. "I'm Choza Akimichi. That's my son, Choji. These are my teammates, Inoichi Yamanaka and Shikaku Nara. Together we make-" Suddenly, Choji groaned, "Dad! I'm eating!"
"THE FIRST INO-SHIKA-CHO TRIO!" Harry frowned. "You mean there's a second Ino-Shika-Cho Trio?" The woman nodded. "Yes. Shikamaru, Ino and Choji make the second Ino-Shika-Cho. I'm Yoshino Nara, Shikaku's wife." She suddenly slugged her husband. "STOP DRINKING! THIS IS A SCHOOL, NOT A BAR!" Two shadows fell over them, and they looked up. A bored looking 17-year-old boy and a really hot blonde stood over them. "Mom. You're scaring the students. Man, what a drag..." The girl smiled. "Hi! I'm Ino, and this is Shikamaru." She turned to Harry. "Hey, I heard you have a garden around here. Mind if you guys show us after lunch?" Ginny frowned. "Are you part veela?"
"Huh?"
"...Never mind."
As they headed down to the courtyard's gardens, Ino spotted a girl with pink hair and green eyes coming towards them. "HEY, FOREHEAD!" The girl looked up. "Hi, Ino-pig." She smiled at Harry. "Hi. I'm Sakura Haruno." Suddenly, two boys sprinted into the courtyard, followed by two men. "YOUTHFUL SAKURA-CHAN!"
"SAKURA-CHAN! BE MY GIRLFRIEND!" Sakura put her head in her hands, and Ino began shaking with silent laughter. "Naruto-kun, Lee-kun, I told you, I love Sasuke!" Naruto and Lee frowned. "WE WILL BE BACK!" Then they ran off. "Of course they will...Hi, Kakashi-sensei, Might Guy-sensei!" Might Guy did his 'Power of Youth' speech and raced after Lee, while Kakashi plopped under a tree and immediately turned the page of 'Icha Icha Paradise: Volume 25'. Sakura shook her head. "Wow."
"I know."
The next morning, they met various other people, such as Hinata and Neji Hyuuga, Tsume Inuzuka and Kuromaru, Kiba Inuzuka and Akamaru, Tenten, and Kurenai Yuhi. They were making their way off the Quidditch Pitch when Neville charged up. "HARRY! RON! GINNY!" They turned around. "What is it, Neville?"
"Hermione's arriving!" Harry, Ginny and Ron hopped on their brooms, heading for the main courtyard as Luna and Neville followed on foot. A large group had gathered in the courtyard, buzzing angrily as the Akatsuki entered the gates. Harry saw most of the Suna and Kohona groups glaring at the Akatsuki. Hinata pulled her little sister closer to her as they passed by. Harry's breath caught in his throat as he spotted Hermione. Beside him, Ron bit his lip. Hermione was wearing a blue cloak with white clouds on it, and she was staying close to Professor Uchiha and a sharklike creature, her eyes wide as the crowd glared at them.
"HERMIONE!" Hermione turned around, and was immediately tackled by Harry, Ron, Ginny, Neville and Luna. "Guys!" She hugged them, laughing. "How's it going?"
"Well, apparently, my internship will end soon, and I'll be issued a partner and a real Akatsuki cloak. So, how have you been?" Immediately, Harry and Ron began complaining about all the schoolwork. "-Three rolls of parchment!" Hermione burst into laughter. "What's so funny?"
"Nothing. I just missed this."
"So, who's Shark Man?" Hermione glared at Ron. "His name is Kisame Hoshigaki. He and Professor Uchiha are partners, and my teachers." She pointed out the other members they didn't know. "That's Leader, or Lord Pain, and his partner, Lady Konan. That's Zetsu, Tobi, and-" Here she made a face, "-Sasuke Uchiha. He's our newest member. Kind of annoying, really. Always watching us practice. He and Professor Uchiha hate each other." Shira came over. Shira stood there awkwardly shifting from foot to foot. "...Erm...So, Ginny Weasley-san, how's your arm healing?"
"Fine, thank you." They suddenly heard a shriek, and whirled around. All the color drained from Shira's face. Before them stood the Nara clan, the Akimichi clan, and the Yamanaka clan. Yoshino rushed foward, hugging Shira. After a few seconds, the others joined her in hugging Shira. They all stared. "Don't worry us like that again!"
"We thought-"
"Troublesome..." Shira suddenly hugged Shikamaru, and burst into tears. Immediately, Shikaku became the overprotective dad. "What'd they do to you!? I'll kill 'em! I'll-"
"It's not that, Dad. I just missed you." A shadow fell over them, and Shira froze. Immediately, the Nara clan, Yamanaka clan and Akimichi clan sank into protective battle stances. Shira gulped, "H-Hidan no danna! I-I didn't see you there!" He just glared down at her. Shira looked down at the floor. "Weed. Go unpack." Shira nodded, hurrying away. He turned to the shinobi, who were glaring at him. "Stay the hell away from my partner."
Shikamaru glared. "Stay away from my sister." Harry began choking on his drink. They ignored him. Hidan gripped his sword. "I'll say this once again. Stay the hell away from my partner."
"She's my sister, you bastard!" Hidan shrugged. "I don't give a damn if she's your flying pet monkey! Stay away from her!" Shikamaru's hand tightened into a fist as Hidan strode away.