She couldn't take her eyes off her. She was beautiful, even with dark shadows under her eyes and shaking hands- hand. Her eyes were a dull purple, and Blake didn't know whether or not to be pleased that Yang wasn't angry yet, but she couldn't stand the way she was looking at her. Tiredly. As if she was barely holding herself together and Blake's presence was just one more threat to her stability. She was supposed to have a plan. Things she wanted to say- but seeing her, her metal arm glinting in the sun, her starlight hair bright just the way she remembered- and suddenly she lost her will to speak. To do anything but stand and stare. It was sort of like seeing Adam again, disbelief flooding her system even though she knew they were bound to meet eventually- of course she wasn't so much afraid of Yang as she was afraid of hurting her, but her body could hardly tell the difference, freezing, tensely, waiting for an opportunity to run. Waiting for someone to hit her. Blake took a shaky breath, but said nothing. What could she say? That she was sorry? Sorry meant nothing when compared to what she did to Yang. Her arm was gone. She left her alone, just like Yang's father, and Summer, and Raven, like a coward. Is that what you've become my love? A cowar-
"What are you doing here." Yang's voice was cold, and Blake flinched instinctively at the callousness of the tone. Blake shuddered, panic crawling through her system. What was she supposed to say? What was the right answer here? Oh god she wanted to run so fucking badly. But she couldn't, she wouldn't, not again.
"T-the White Fang, they-" Yang cut her off with a pained growl, her eyes finally beginning to take on a crimson tone.
"The White Fang?! That's why you're here? So it wasn't y'know, your team that brought you here, just business? I should of fucking guessed. "Yang snapped her laugh bitter and hurt and barely a laugh at all. Blake squeezed her own arm harshly, letting the pain focus her.
"No! No, I'm, that was- I'm sorry that was a bad way to start- I-" Yang snorted disbelievingly, making a dismissive gesture with her remaining arm.
"What the fuck do you want Blake? Because if you came here looking forgiveness you came to the wrong –"
"What?! Of course I didn't come here for forgiveness! I would never presume- I know that's not possible, I'd have to be ten times more selfish than I am already to think I was worthy of anything like that after all I did- I just, I just…" Blake swallowed, her words losing their passion as she went on.
"I want to be here for you." She murmured, moving her head down so she couldn't see the disgust that was probably on her partners face. A moment of silence ensued before she finally looked up. Yang was looking at her, an emotion present on the blonde's face Blake couldn't quite place.
"It's a little late for that, don't you think? If you wanted to be here for me six months ago would have been a pretty great time to do so." Blake squeezed her arm harder, self-loathing bubbling through her stomach vengefully. She hates you and you deserve it you piece of fucking trash you're selfish and greedy and cowardly and scared and you deserve everything that hap-
"I know- I know, and I'm so sorry Yang, I should have at least told you that I was-" Yang exploded, her hair lighting up in a dangerous whirlwind of fire, an inferno of loss and pain and hurt reflected in her bloody eyes.
"You shouldn't of fucking left at all! I just lost my arm, for you! Ruby just watched all her fucking friends die, Weiss never even got to say goodbye- they needed you! -I needed you! " Yang practically screamed, tears spilling from her eyes angrily. For a moment everything was silent, and Blake felt her heart break at the sight of Yang brokenly sobbing.
"I needed you, Blake. And you left. Just like everyone always does." Blake stared, aching, at the girl she broke. Blake had hurt her, so much, over and over again. She couldn't hope to fix that- but Yang did, at least, deserve the truth.
"…Do you know who that man was?" Blake began, her own words coming out of her mouth tasting like ash- dry and cold and robotic. Yang blinked, apparently taken aback by her tone.
"Yeah…he was Adam Taurus right? Your…old partner?" Yang asked, her eyes fading back to lilac, her mouth twisted into a weary frown. Blake nodded slightly, unable to speak for a moment.
"He was my ex-partner from the White Fang, yes. But he was also…a good friend a long time ago. One of the only ones who managed to survive. He had my back, I had his. I would have died for him. At one point I may have even-"Blake stopped suddenly, her voice hitching. She couldn't- oh god, this was too hard. She just wanted to disappear. She just wanted this to be over. Yang now looked distinctly uncomfortable, a conflicted look entering her eyes.
"-Anyway. Those years in the White Fang changed him, they changed me too, but I was…I was able to hold onto sanity. It was a slow decent into madness, but by the end of things- by the end of things, he had become a monster. He killed with a sort of perverted pleasure, he acted with brutality and cruelty- and our 'relationship' was no different." Blake stopped, angrily wiping at her watery eyes.
"I was so…scared. I was terrified. I've never been afraid of someone more completely in my life. He made me-he molded me into someone small, and skittish and quiet. He didn't just ruin my life, he ruined me." Blake croaked, her throat closing up and her eyes blurring.
"When I ran from the White Fang- I was really running away from him. And that would never stand, Adam would never let me get away with- I should never have stayed at Beacon-but I loved you all too much- so when he came…when he said he would- when he p-promised he'd destroy e-everyone I loved….I…well that's when you came running in." Blake gave a weak watery laugh. Yang was coming closer now, her face oddly sympathetic.
"I should never have left the way I did-and I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry- B-but I couldn't let him k-kill-"Blake let out a gasp as she was suddenly surrounded by warmth and the smell of gun powder and citrus shampoo. Yang was hugging her. She was hugging her, despite everything; she was holding her tightly, her prosthetic rubbing soothing circles onto Blake's back. Blake let out a sob, clutching her partners back fiercely, burying her head into yang's golden locks. She heard Yang murmur small assurances, and vows of protection and words of hatred for Adam.
"As long as you stay- I'll be here for you. It'll be okay. Even if… things ….won't be alright between us for a while…it'll be okay. I promise." Blake closed her eyes, letting herself believe her, if only for a moment.