A/N: This is really fluffy! Though I'd better say up here that it does contain some language! Sorry for the rubbish title as well - I had no idea what to call this.
Hope you enjoy.
Brendan could tell Steven was upset as soon as he entered the flat after a long day of work at the club. It wasn't really hard to see. He knew Ste so well that he could recognise any change in his mood in an instant, however hard Ste tried to hide it.
Ste was curled up on the sofa, watching some game show with slightly glossy, glazed over eyes, which suggested that he wasn't really paying attention to it at all. He glanced up and smiled at Brendan as he entered the room, but the smile didn't quite reach his eyes.
"Hi! You alright?" he said in an overly bright voice, which didn't fool Brendan for a second.
Brendan nodded and sat down beside him. There was a note of caution in his voice as he asked Ste how his day had been.
"Oh, you know." Ste shrugged. "Same as usual." He kept his eyes fixed on the TV.
Brendan wracked his brains, trying to think of a single instance where he may have said or done something to upset him. But he couldn't think of anything. Ste had been fine this morning, and at lunchtime, when Brendan had visited the deli and had his lunch as usual. However, Ste's feelings didn't seem to be directed towards Brendan. It seemed as though, for once, somebody else was at fault.
Brendan had to fight the wave of anger and protectiveness which rose up inside him as he felt the urge to hunt down the person who had upset Ste and make them pay, whether they had intended to hurt him or not. Sometimes he wished that he could keep Ste by his side all the time – shield him from any hurtful comments which came his way, and keep him safe. He hated the thought of someone insulting Ste when he wasn't around, and getting away with it. He didn't say anything else to Ste, but he wrapped his arm around Ste's shoulders, as a silent show of affection, and allowed Ste to lean back against him and rest his head against his chest. He felt Ste inhale and exhale slowly as he lay against Brendan, and Brendan realised that, in some strange way, this gesture had comforted Ste. Ste needed this. And although Brendan had a mound of paperwork to get through and the beginnings of a headache was starting to form, he didn't leave Ste's side for the rest of the evening, as in some inexplicable way, his presence seemed to comfort Ste. And after all, Ste came first out of everything in Brendan's life, and, if he wasn't happy, then Brendan wasn't happy either. It was scary sometimes for Brendan when he acknowledged just how much he loved Ste, wanted him to be happy, needed him to be happy.
Ste remained rather quiet and distant for the rest of the evening, his mind obviously focused on something else. It wasn't until late at night, when they were lying in bed together, that he spoke.
"Brendan, what do you see when you look at me?"
Brendan sat up, wondering where this was going. "Well, urm, I see my boyfriend, I guess. I see the man I love - a good, kind man," he added, as Ste huffed slightly beside him, as though this wasn't the answer he had been looking for.
"Whatever," he muttered.
"Well, I don't know what you're expecting me to say!" Brendan protested. "What's brought this on, anyway?"
Ste was silent for a few seconds before he answered. "I don't know. Nothing in particular. I just wondered what people see when they look at me. I mean, do they just see some chav who probably spends their time vandalising stuff and getting drunk? Do they look down on me 'cos of the way I dress or act or 'cos of my accent?"
"Steven, you-" Brendan began, but Ste cut him off with another question.
"Bren, do you think I'm stupid?"
Brendan's frown deepened. "Stupid? Of course I don't; why?" Deep down, he already had an idea what the answer was going to be.
"Just something this bloke said to me today," said Ste, shrugging dismissively, although Brendan could barely see it in the darkness.
"What did he say?" Brendan asked quietly, the anger from earlier rearing its head once again. So he had been right: some tosser had said something to Ste to upset him.
Ste shook his head. "Don't matter. It were just some stupid customer. I'll probably never see him again."
"No. Tell me," Brendan insisted. "It will be better if you talk about it Steven, I promise."
Ste sighed. "If you say so. Well, he were standing in quite a long line in the deli, and started complaining to me about the wait once he got to the front of the queue. You know, just being impatient and that. I get a lot of people like that, so it didn't really bother me. I told him there was nothing we could do about it, and he just snorted and said, "well, I suppose I should have expected that an uneducated chav would have a poorly run business. By the sounds of it, you're bloody lucky to have a job at all. How old were you when you left school, twelve?""
Brendan felt his heart twist at the thought of some bastard daring to speak to Ste like that. No wonder Ste had been upset. He had probably been running those words through his head all day.
"Luckily, Mitzeee were standing behind him," said Ste, with the ghost of a smile. "She got rid of him at once. Thought she were gonna take his head off with her high heel at one point. Although, you know," he added hastily, "I'm not some pathetic princess from Disney, I can defend meself, I were just a bit, you know, upset and that."
"Can't blame you for that," said Brendan quietly, making a mental note to be extra nice to Mitzeee the next time he saw her. Of course, he wished that it could have been him there instead of Mitzeee, so he could have beaten the fucker to a bloody pulp, but even he could see that that would probably have made matters even worse.
"I were just, you know, thinking about it a bit this evening, that's all," said Ste, shrugging again. "But it don't matter now. I'm alright."
"No, you're not," said Brendan quietly. He knew when Ste was lying to him, and he knew how much Ste hated even the suggestion that he was stupid. That man had exploited one of Ste's biggest insecurities, and Brendan hated him for it.
"I am!" Ste insisted. "I wasn't, but I am now. I mean…people like that…they're just nutters, aren't they?"
"Course they are, but that doesn't mean that what they say doesn't hurt," Brendan murmured, pulling Ste closer to him. "Come here."
Ste relaxed into the embrace, wrapping his arms around Brendan's torso. Brendan pressed a kiss to the top of his head.
"Steven," he began quietly, "you are one of the most intelligent people I know."
"Doubt it," Ste replied, his voice slightly muffled seeing as his head was currently buried in Brendan's chest. "I'm rubbish at reading, and writing. The teachers always made me feel completely thick when I was at school, because I was thick - I were one of the thickest kids in my year."
"You know, people can be intelligent in other ways too," said Brendan. He shifted even closer to Ste, wanting to reassure him and make him feel good about himself. "You're attentive and kind. You're good at making me talk to you, tell you how I'm feeling, and I don't do that very often. You notice when something is wrong with me, and with other people, and you try to put it right. A lot of people don't notice things like that. You're intelligent enough to own a business and you're an amazing cook - I mean, compare your cooking skills to mine! You're intelligent enough to break away from the example your mum set and actually be a good parent to your kids, and get a job. You could have gone down a completely different path, but you didn't. You went down the right path, and you should be proud of yourself for doing that. I'm certainly proud of you. Steven, you're an intelligent person in so many ways, trust me."
The room was silent for a few seconds after Brendan stopped talking, and he felt himself flushing red with embarrassment as he realised what he had just said. He wasn't one for long, cheesy speeches, and it made him feel slightly uncomfortable. If he could have silenced Ste's worries with a kiss, he would have done so, however, Ste had had to hear this from someone, because every word Brendan had spoken had been true.
As Ste turned round and kissed him on the lips, most of the regret or embarrassment Brendan had felt at speaking to Ste so openly washed away. It was all worth it when he heard Ste say quietly, "Thank you, Brendan."
Brendan shrugged and said gruffly, "I was only speaking the truth."
And I'd say it all again if it puts a smile on your face, he added in his head.
"I suppose I can always rely on you to make me feel better about meself," said Ste, the faintest trace of a smile in his voice.
"What does it matter what people think of you anyway?" said Brendan, kissing him again. "People like that guy you told me about - they're not worth bothering about."
"Yeah but...you don't ever feel ashamed to be with me or anything, do you?" asked Ste suddenly, as though the idea had just struck him.
Brendan rolled his eyes. "Course I do." A look of hurt flashed across Ste's face. "But I suppose all the sex makes up for it," he added teasingly, squeezing Ste's hand to let him know that he was only joking, in case Ste hadn't cottoned on yet. After that honest, heartfelt little speech he had just given Ste, his skin was still prickling slightly with embarrassment and insecurity, and joking around with Ste now was almost like a defence mechanism for him.
Ste let out that graceless, honking laugh of his which always warmed Brendan's heart, however much he tried to hide it. "Idiot!" he said, punching Brendan lightly in the chest.
Brendan felt that rush of protectiveness again as Ste beamed up at him, his eyes bright through the darkness. "Well, maybe you're alright sometimes," he conceded.
Ste rolled his eyes. "I feel so honoured." He smiled at Brendan through the darkness. "Night, Bren."
Brendan pressed a soft kiss to Ste's lips. "Night."
A/N: Sorry if the ending was a bit rubbish. I'll really appreciate any reviews.