It doesn't matter that when he looks at her, he sees a fiery ball of red-hot crazy molded into a ridiculously small yet gorgeous body, because when she opens her mouth and sings, he forgets about all of that. And when her eyes lock onto his as they always do, when the words stream from her mouth, full and rich like molten chocolate, the world disappears, and all he can focus on is the magic streaming from her mouth.
Give me the song, and I'll sing it like I mean it,
Give me the words, and I'll say them like I mean it,
Because you've got my heart in a headlock,
You stopped the blood and made my head soft,
God knows, you've got me sewn.
God it was beautiful, And the fact that his favorite person was singing his favorite song made it even more special. Her eyes were boring into him as she sang, glittering with the sparkle of a thousand secrets, taking his soul and baring her own.
He could feel someone shift uncomfortably beside him, Quinn perhaps, but he barely notices: his full and undivided attention on Rachel, attempting to commit every single second of this performance to memory.
Danny boy, don't be afraid,
To shake that ass and misbehave,
Danny boy, I know you got time,
But what are you waiting for?
He's sitting there, mouthing the words as they pour from her mouth, filling him up with the confusing combination of joy and sadness, and all of a sudden, the music is empty, devoid of emotion, of feeling, of meaning. And the spell is broken and he is left feeling light-headed and off-balance, because although the piano keeps playing, the striking melody of Rachel's voice has disappeared.
The gentle sound of the piano slowly came to a stop, and everyone scrutinizing Rachel; she never stops in the middle of a song.
"Rachel? Is everything OK? Is it too low for you?" Mr Schue asks, concern showing on his face.
"Everything's fine, Mr Schue. It's just... I don't know this song so well, it's by a little-known artist, and as it has no contemporary pop nor Broadway Classic feel, it's a little out of my depth. As much as it pains me to say it, I think I need help with this one."
Finn could feel the sudden intake of air around him; Rachel had never asked for help before, she was always the one who knew what she was doing, the one who offered help to everyone else.
"Okay then. What do you want to do, Rach?" Mr Schue was hiding his surprise well. "Do you want to choose another song?"
"No, Mr Schue. I really like this song, it's very pretty and the lyrics are quite meaningful. I also find the simplicity of the piano and guitar accompaniment rather enchanting when paired up with the almost-spoken lyrics."
"Well, do you want someone to sing it with you?"
"Yes! This piece was originally by a male artist, and it is quite a low song. It seems very fitting to have a lower male voice to balance out this arrangement that I've selected for my vocal register. It would definitely enrich the performance."
"I'll do it." The words were out of his mouth before he even knew he'd said them. He could feel everyone's bemused stares on his face, but his eyes only saw Rachel. Her face lit up when he spoke as if she had been waiting for him to volunteer all this time, as if she had him in mind when she said she needed someone to sing with.
"Really, Finn? This song would probably be better suited to Puck, the original artist had a voice a lot like his, although maybe not as low..."
"I want to do it." Finn cut Mr Schue off, annoyed at the possibility that Puck could be singing this song with her. "I know this song, really well. I used to sing it for my mom all the time."
"Well then, do you want Brad to play your part for you, Finn?"
"I got it," he smiles and winks at Rachel who blushes and giggles.
"Give me the song, and I'll sing it like I mean it." Rachel starts with the music, turning to look at Finn, and it's like before, only a hundred times worse.
"Give me the words, and I'll say them like I mean it," Finn sings, hitting the notes with ease, staring right back at Rachel, marvelling at how they connect when singing together.
"Because you've got my heart in a headlock,"
"You stopped the blood and made my head soft,"
"God knows, you've got me sewn." And the two different melodies combine, the strands of music twisting like vines around each other, harmonizing in the most beautiful of ways.
"Danny boy, don't be afraid, to shake that ass and misbehave. Danny boy, I know you got time, but what are you waiting for?" She's looking at him straight in the eye, hers conveying an underlying meaning to her words, daring him to look beneath the surface.
"Anyway, the dust may just blow away, if you wait for a windy day. But you may find the chance has passed you by." And suddenly, he gets it. His eyes widen as it dawns on him, and he can see hers expand too, watching the relief pool in her eyes like tears, and all of a sudden he feels like crying himself.
"I can't do the walk, I can't do the talk. I can't be your friend, unless I pretend." But he can't cry now, he just has to do what Rachel does and channel all his emotions out through his words.
So he stares her straight in the eye and sings. "So give me the song and I'll sing it like I mean it. Give me the words and I'll say them like I mean it." He locks his eyes on to hers, and the rest of the world disappears, leaving them to say things that only music allows them to. This is their moment of truth. This is their opportunity to show exactly what is on their minds without hiding under half-truths and veils of anger.
"Because you've got my heart in a headlock, you stopped the blood and made my head soft. And God knows, you've got me sewn." And this time he's the one with his heart on the line, he's the one risking everything to show how he feels. And for perhaps the first time in her life, she's the one taking the back-seat, allowing someone else to take the risk for her as she harmonizes with him, echoing every word with the soft tone of agreement.
"Danny boy, don't be a fool. Take a punt, and break a rule. Danny boy, you're looking so low, you're looking like the dead grown old." And instead of seeing him reflected in her eyes, he sees the shadow of himself, the shell of Finn that has been walking around the school hall these past few weeks, save for Glee rehearsals and a few shared conversations where she'd made him forget just for a few minutes what he was going through. He would eternally be grateful for that.
"Anyway, the blues may just wash away, if you wait for a rainy day. But you may find, the chance has passed you by." And she gently reaches out and grasps his hand, her tiny hand soft and warm against his own. And what pains him the most is that he has to pretend that this is all part of the song, because suddenly the people surrounding him are back, and he's painfully aware of their stares, like tiny pinpricks all over his face.
He gently squeezes it and sings "I can't do the walk, I can't do the talk. I can't be your friend, unless I pretend." And as he sings, she smiles. And suddenly all the people are gone again, and he can almost fool himself that she's holding his hand just because, and that they aren't singing a song about turmoil and heartbreak for Glee Club. He can pretend for just a moment that Puck and Quinn and that baby in her belly don't exist and that everything is simple and straightforward. He believes that Rachel and him can finally be together without any complications. And her smile makes him sure that he can hold on to all these hopes for more than just this moment, makes him sure that his dreams could become real.
"So give me the song and I'll sing it like I mean it. Give me the words and I'll say them like I mean it." But then the smile that lights up her face and the room around her is replaced by a sad, melancholy one, and all the hope that he felts dissipates, leaving him feeling hollow again. And it is at that moment that he knows that he would do whatever it takes to get that smile back.
"Because you got my heart in a headlock, you stopped the blood and made my head soft."
"You've got my heart in a headlock, you stopped the blood and made my head soft." Her hand slips out of his, and fiery look graces her face, her eyes darkening as they send rays of anger out at him.
"You made my head soft." And he's pretty sure he's sending angry rays back out at her.
"You made my head soft." There's a whole new layer to her voice now; an emotion that he's never come across and she can't put a name to.
"You made my head soft." Her eyes are boring into his, warming him up and igniting something within.
"You made my head soft." He almost shouts it, he means it so much.
During the instrumental part, he grabs her hand again, holding on tightly in case she chooses to break away this time. But instead, she's holding his tightly too, because she knows that the end of the song is coming, but she doesn't want to let go of this moment they've shared.
They harmonize perfectly on the long "yeah"'s at the end, drawing their last one out even longer than it was supposed to be.
There is a long moment of silence before the audience applauds, unsure of what they have just witnessed.
And Finn and Rachel stand there, trying to catch their breath after the whirlwind of emotion they had just created. She turns to look at him again, her hand still clenched in his, and she smiles, that same joyful smile as before, and it seems only right to scoop her up into a hug as they let the applause rain down around them.
Mr Schuester congratulates them on a wonderful performance, apologizing to Finn for ever doubting him, and praising Rachel on her choice of song and arrangement. But neither of them really hear it; too many thoughts are running through their minds, unknowingly the same as each other.
Mr Schue finally dismisses the club after asking them to try and find a song that they'd never thought would work for them and arranging it so it would, and Rachel finally lets go of Finn's hand and makes for the door.
After saying goodbye to the rest of the club [except for a two... (or is it three?) members], he makes his way over to her locker, where she is carefully pulling books out of her locker and placing them into a bag.
"Hi," he whispers, unsure of how really to broach the subject of what just transpired between them.
"Hi," she whispers back, the ghost of a smile on her lips.
"Uh. I just wanted to let you know that I understood and meant everything we sang about." And he's staring into her eyes, facing up to his feelings, not letting someone else dictate his words for him.
She blinks, once, twice, and then a slow smile creeps across her face, and he thinks it's just about the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.
"You did have my heart in a headlock," she giggles, and the sound makes him laugh too.
"Yeah? Well you stopped the blood and made my head soft."
"God knows, you've got me sewn."
She reaches up to caress his cheek, and stands on the very tip of her toes to plant a kiss on his lips. And this kiss, so simple, so sweet, so pure, feels different than any other they've ever shared. This kiss isn't laced with guilt and regret, it's spiced with honesty and innocence and possibility and happiness. It's the kiss of anticipation of what's yet to come, the kiss that breaks down all the walls, the kiss that signals the end of pretending.
You've got my heart in a headlock,
You stopped the blood and made my head soft.
And God knows, you've got me sewn.