Somebody to Lean On
[In which Sara takes up yoga to manage her stress.]
"Oh boy." Sara's breath left her lungs in a whoosh. "I didn't expect it to feel quite like that."
She was curled in a ball on the floor of her cabin, back to surface and knees to chest. Her sunny hair was arrayed around her head in a fuzzy halo. The audio on the asari yoga vid had faded away heartbeats ago; quiet breaths and soft ambient music filled the space.
"Yoga is a mind-body technique which can help reduce stress levels and increase anxiety control. Your job as Pathfinder places a heavy burden on your body; relaxing and stretching your muscles regularly can increase your general wellness." SAM's voice, while it was at a normal volume, was not at odds with the soft atmosphere of the room.
"Well, it's doing something right, because I could stay in this —what is it called? Vanhasaya? —forever." Her eyes were closed; her body felt heavy as she sank into the floor. Completely relaxed.
"I believe that posture is called 'shavasana'."
"Shavasana." Sara rolled the word around on her tongue, tasting its smooth sibilants and easy vowels. She'd need to thank Lexi for the recommendation next time she saw the doctor. "SAM, can you schedule time tomorrow for another session? I'd like to try this again."
"Of course, Pathfinder. I will line up a selection of videos in the queue."
"Great." She sighed, drawing her shoulder blades in, fully sinking down against the floor. "Maybe there's something to this whole 'stress-relief' thing, after all."
Sara had always had a bit of an obsessive personality.
For as long as she could remember, she'd always had this desire to just learn more. Knowing about mechanics wasn't enough; she needed to know the nitty-gritty ins and outs, how to put together and disassemble any drone she could get her hands on, how to create mods from scratch with raw materials.
Even though she wasn't biotic, she'd done a lot of research on eezo and mass effect fields when mom had gotten sick. This event had spurred on a desire to know more about human physiology, and first aid, and pain relief. How to deal with grief, and do it well.
Alien cultures, you say? Sara was in the libraries, on the extranet, up to her elbows in Prothean artifacts and data streams, all for the sake of knowing more. She'd loved being a Recon Specialist.
Some of it was from a desire to achieve; her and Scott had come out of the womb seeking to wring every last drop of life from the universe, no matter what they did. Most of it was just her, though; she was hardwired to breathe in information and think, the way other people took in oxygen or consumed food. Knowledge was her life blood.
Which made signing up for the Initiative a breeze, all things considered. Unknown alien cultures? New worlds to explore? Sign me up, I won't look back. Adventure, here I come. Albeit, some of her panache and zeal for discovery had been tempered by the kett, and everything that had come in the shitstorm since Habitat 7. But still: climbing the dunes on Elaaden; breathing in the strange, earthy scent on Havarl; feeling the hot wind of Eos blow across her face —Heleus was ripe for the picking, and she wanted it all.
So she really wasn't surprised that when she found yoga to be helping with her stress levels, she went all in. Once-a-day sessions turned into separate morning and bedtime routines. Instead of rereading her favorite Milky Way novels, she read up on the history of yoga, on the different schools, on the way it took root amongst asari culture. She even, at one point, asked Cora and Peebee —and Lexi, since she was the one who recommended it, after all— if they had ever seriously practiced before.
Lexi: "Even though I know of its benefits, I've regrettably never devoted time to exploring them myself."
Peebee: "Naw, never got into all that New Age-y shit. Not really me, you know?" (Sara had tried to hold in her snort, with limited success)
Only Cora had any real experience. "Sometimes, when the other huntresses were feeling particularly tight, we'd practice as a group, or as partners."
Sara's brows scrunched. "As partners?"
"Sure. Partner yoga is a great way to really bond with someone. Each party has to carry their own weight, so to speak, to really get the most out of it." She paused, considering. "I didn't really do it all that often, but if you ever wanted to try it, I'd be willing."
Their friendship had improved vastly over the months; Sara recognized it for the platonic offer it was. After a few sessions of deep stretches —following particularly harry missions— another idea sparked in Sara's brain.
What would partner yoga be like with…well, with a partner?
A few weeks later found Sara with her legs up against the window in her cabin, stretched against the wall in a satisfying viparita karani posture. Her initial fervor had cooled into something more sustainable; even though she had already been in shape, she felt more lithe through her muscles, more loose, more body-conscious than before. She felt in control, for once.
The rhythms that approximated the "nightly" sequence on the Tempest were in full swing. Her cabin lights were dimmed. Half of her hair was pulled up, the other half having escaped to curl lightly against her neck. Quiet music filtered from the speakers, and she counted her breaths.
In. Out. In. Out. In—
The doors to her cabin slid open, and a shadow slanted across the floor.
"Hey, Sara—oh, sorry, didn't know you were busy."
She opened her eyes, rolling her neck back until she was looking at Liam, upside down. "Not busy, just relaxing. Come on in."
He sat on the bed, pulling up his omnitool. Since the soccer match on Podromos, they'd taken to spending more of their down time together —or all of it, as Peebee liked to tease— slowly working their way through Liam's massive movie list. Or kissing. There was also lots of that, too. Sara didn't really mind what they were doing, as long as they were together. She wasn't always sure of how much time she'd get with him, now days with things escalating like they were.
She slowly dropped her legs down to her chest and rolled to the side, savoring the way her back popped as she curled.
"Feeling another 'Blasto' movie? Always a cringe-worthy classic. Or how about—"
"Actually, I have an idea." She sat up, butterflies suddenly flitting around in her stomach. What if he thinks this is dumb? Oh man, potential for embarrassment and rejection! She worried at her bottom lip; Liam stopped flicking through the vids and watched her, noticing her hesitation. "How about trying partner yoga with me?"
She felt her cheeks flush, and she ducked her head slightly, in the way he had come to realize was a self-defense mechanism. It had been easier to spot her insecurities as things with the Kett heated up, and as he got to know her better. In the low-lighting, with her hair slightly frizzy from being against the floor, he thought she looked perfect. "Hell yeah, I'm game."
"What, really? You don't think it's dumb, or anything?"
He let out a soft chuckle. "Sara Ryder, rarely do you ever say or do anything that could be classified as 'dumb'. That's my part of the job, yeah?" He stretched his legs out in front of him, reclining slightly against the bed. "Besides, 'partner yoga'? Sounds like a great idea. Let's do it."
Her breath came out in a soft sound, and for not the first time Liam marveled at how relaxed she was around him, how she wasn't afraid of showing her insecurities and sharing her fears, when it was just them. When she wasn't the Pathfinder. Well, it was his job to support her; he felt damn lucky that things had turned out the way they had.
She patted the floor next to her, pulling up her own omnitool and keying up an asari vid.
"They're not going to do any kinky shit on this, right? Don't really want to see any naked bodies. Except one." He settled in next to her, arms brushing.
She flushed, punching Liam half-heartedly in the arm. "Not that kind of vid, Liam."
He laughed, a quick bark of sound. "Just checking."
The vid popped up on the wallscreen, courtesy of SAM, showing two asari sitting comfortably back to back. "We'll follow the video. Just how flexible are you, Kosta?" She couldn't resist.
"You should be able to answer that one for yourself." He flashed her a cheeky grin before maneuvering to sit back-to-back. "Let me know if I do something that hurts you." He emanated a comfortable warmth against her, and she smiled as she sank into the audio.
The video playing was one for beginners; her and Cora had never gone past the basic postures. She sat up straight, anchored to the floor; Liam's body was firm against her. Elbows locked, fingers rested on knees as they fell into alternating breaths. Then, like the asari on screen, they lifted their hands over their heads in a side stretch. She caught Liam's soft murmur of "Ladies first," before his warm hands encircled her wrists and tugged slightly upward, elongating her stretch. It hurt, but in the good way.
Their inhalations and exhalations mingled with the vid's soft audio; they were the only sounds in the room.
When they reached the back and forward bends, she felt Liam's ribs shake against her as he laughed; she was folded completely to the ground, his body heavy over hers. "I feel like I'm squishing you."
"You haven't yet," was her muffled reply. Then it was time to switch; she slid up and against him, taking a moment to really press her hips to his. She could definitely see the benefits of practicing with a partner, as he exhaled explosively beneath her. Her eyes closed as she relaxed against his back, her fingers extending forward to brush his. With a soft 'pop,' vertebrae in her lower back settled, and she sighed.
The vid played on; they didn't speak, save for requesting less or more pressure be used. For not the first time, Sara was struck by Liam's gentle care with her. Sure, she'd witnessed his obvious compassion for others: he worked tirelessly to get the outposts what they needed, and she knew that same care had surfaced in HUST-1. It even carried over into his combat style, the way he'd throw himself right into the fray to get the fire off of teammates. Off of her.
Being with Liam helped remind her that she was a woman, underneath the title of 'Pathfinder'. He treated her like she was valuable, like she was worth it, their crazy adventures and hijinks all aside. She'd never pictured herself with someone who was so attentive, so kind. Sara hoped that she made him feel the same way he made her feel. All fluttery and goofy and sappy.
She didn't know how she had gotten so lucky.
Hands slid up arms as they faced each other again and reached forward, entering another bend. Her face was starting to feel unreasonably warm; in their wake, his fingers left trails of fire on her skin. As Liam helped her fold forward —legs out wide, feet touching— she savored the feeling of his palms on her shoulder blades. She let out a soft groan as he pressed her deeper into the stretch.
"Too much?"
"Just right." Why was her voice so breathy all of a sudden?
Apparently Liam was noticing the shift in atmosphere, too; when she helped him fold down towards her, he slipped his hands up and over her thighs, his fingers stretching to press teasingly against her lower back. She lightly flinched. How much longer is this vid?
By the time they worked through double downward dog and another round of partner breathing, Sara felt like a soupy, languid mess. Completely relaxed in a deeper way, stretched out, yet also…ahem. Being near Liam always made her feel butterflies, but this?
The room darkened as the vid faded to black. Their elbows were still locked. "Thanks for trying that. What'd you think?"
"Happy to help you relax. We all need someone to lean on."
A beat—then, "You didn't. Were you thinking about that the whole time?"
"Nope. I was thinking about when we'd get to that crazy acrobatic shit people'd always post on the extranet. Next time, right?"
She laughed. "Sure, next time. If you think you can handle it, that is."
He moved around to face her, eyes molten in the light of the stars. His breath fanned against her skin. "Is that a challenge, Sara Ryder?"
She smiled against his skin. "You bet it is, Kosta."
He slid his hand up her arm, repeating the motion from before, cupping her cheek. "Looking forward to it, then." His fingers traced a bright line from her jaw to the back of her neck.
As his mouth met hers and her fingers twined in his hair, Sara decided that partner yoga was a very good idea.