Excerpt
"We'll need some sort of diversion," she said. She turned towards the captain, her eyes sorrowful. "I'll distract them, Hitsugaya-san, and you run. Just run and don't look back. If… if I don't ever see you again, I want to let you know that these past few days have been bearable thanks to you. I… you're just going to let me go on, aren't you?"
"You're facing a toddler armed with a spoon," the captain pointed out. "The odds are in your favor. But go ahead, keep talking."
Chapter One
"Good morning, Ururu," the girl said cheerfully, appearing at the door of Urahara's Shop. She dropped a hand to muss Ururu's hair affectionately.
This girl was a regular at the shop. Her name was Satomi Fujibayashi and she shopped there at least once a week, and always brought Ururu little toys. Ururu herself had taken quite a liking to this tall high school student.
"Good morning, Satomi-san," Ururu said eagerly, her dark little eyes darting down to the bag in Satomi's hands. Satomi laughed.
"Guess what I brought you today?" She asked, crouching down and putting a hand in her bag.
"With any luck, some sort of lizard," Jinta grumbled from nearby as he dragged the broom across the lot. Satomi grinned up at him.
"Nope." She pulled her hand out of the bag and quickly slid something over Ururu's head. Ururu looked down at her neck, where a pretty butterfly pendant hung. "Ta-da!" Satomi said, straightening up.
"Oh!" Ururu exclaimed, fingering the little necklace. "It's so pretty!"
"It's just a bug," Jinta said distastefully. Satomi put her hands on her hips.
"Now, now, Jinta. Be charitable. I got you something, too," she said, reaching back into her bag. Despite himself, Jinta looked up hopefully as Satomi slowly drew her hand out of the bag.
"I saw this in a shop, and it was just so cute that I knew I had to get it for you," she said cheerfully, pulling out a Lego set. She tossed it to Jinta, who caught it deftly. It was some sort of alien invasion Lego set – which made Jinta slightly worried by her use of the adjective 'cute.'
"Enjoy," Satomi said with a wink as she slid open the door and entered the shop. Urahara sat near the back as usual, fan in hand, lazily lying across the wood.
"Good morning, Urahara-san. It's quite hot today, isn't it?" Satomi remarked conversationally. Urahara immediately sat up, smiling.
"Ah, Satomi-san! I was expecting you today. Yes, it's quite hot," he said, fanning himself slowly with his little fan. Satomi smiled.
"I'm hoping it'll rain tomorrow. I sure love the rain," Satomi said as she picked out a few different candies.
"In this temperature? No way," Urahara said, shaking his head. Satomi shrugged.
"Hey, a girl can dream," she said.
"How are your brothers?" Urahara asked pleasantly.
"They're doing well. They all told me what they wanted, so I've got to get nearly one of everything now," Satomi joked, grinning. "Oh, well. How are you doing? Not working Ururu and Jinta too hard, are you?"
"Oh, no, no," Urahara said quickly, snapping his fan open again and waving it a little more fervently.
"Your face betrays you," Satomi said with a sigh, shaking her head.
"Only because you're so good at reading people," Urahara said indignantly. "Otherwise, I'd be perfectly safe."
"Remember that," Satomi said with a chuckle. "I know all your secrets."
"Mm," Urahara murmured, watching her with a strange expression from underneath the brim of his green and white striped hat.
"Well, that'll be all, I think," Satomi said, reaching into her pocket and pulling out a handful of coins. She handed them to Urahara and saluted.
"Have a nice day," she called as she headed back outside.
"Are you leaving already?" Ururu asked as Satomi shut the door behind her.
"Sadly, yes," Satomi said, patting the little girl on the head. "I'm afraid if I don't get this chocolate to my little brothers really fast, it'll melt. Either that, or my brothers will tear apart the house until I give them candy."
"Won't the candy just give them a sugar rush?" Jinta asked from nearby. He was sitting on the ground, the instructions on his lap, putting together the alien ship.
"Yep, but then they'll get worn out and fall asleep, so it's all good," Satomi said. "Sometimes I think I spoil them too much. But hey, with mom and dad off for that conference, I'm in charge. Can't leave them alone too long, you can't trust half of them."
"Be safe!" Ururu called after her as Satomi headed down the street, stopping to turn back and wave goodbye before disappearing. There was a curse from Jinta, who was futilely trying to fit together the alien parts.
"She thinks these are cute?"
"Hey, Satomi! Did you get them?"
"'Tomi-'Tomi-'Tomi-'Tomi!"
"Nee-san!"
"Candy!"
As soon as Satomi opened the door, she was bowled over by five little boys in an effort to tear the bag away from her.
"Oy! Everyone sits at the table, or you get nothing!" Satomi exclaimed. There was a rush of feet and Satomi removed her shoes, leaving them outside. Then she entered the house and shut the door behind her.
"All right," she said, settling down at the kitchen table next to the youngest, Bunta. There were five boys in total – the oldest, Susumu, then Etsuko, then the twins Shiro and Suguru, and finally Bunta. They were all quite different except for the twins, who were nearly exactly alike in personality if not in looks.
Thanks to her talent for remembering things, Satomi distributed the candy carefully; making sure everyone got what they asked for.
"You guys get to eat half now and half after lunch, okay?" She said, standing up. She headed towards the kitchen area and Bunta immediately scurried after her. He enjoyed sitting and watching people work, and he was usually silent.
On the other hand…
"That was mine!" Shiro exclaimed, grabbing for Suguru's candy. His twin held it away and instead grabbed for Shiro's.
"They're both mine!" He exclaimed. "Give it back!"
"It's not giving it back if I didn't take it from you to begin with! This one's mine!"
"No, that one's mine. This one's yours."
"No, this is mine!"
"Fine, keep it, then!"
"You know Suguru basically just led you in the wrong way so you ended up back where you started, right, Shiro?" Etsuko asked. He was always level, always firm, and the top of his class at school. He was especially popular among the grade school girls. Shiro turned slightly, his face covered in chocolate. He glared at Suguru accusingly as Suguru slowly nibbled his. Shiro took a deep breath. Satomi, keeping an eye out for this, immediately walked over and clapped a hand over his mouth. Shiro let out his breath as Satomi began rubbing the chocolate off his face. She knew Shiro had a tendency to scream whenever Suguru tricked him – which was often.
"Shiro-chan," Satomi scolded lightly. "You know mommy doesn't like it when you do that. Suguru, please don't tease him like that. Susumu, could you please get me a wet washcloth? This chocolate is not coming off."
The oldest of the boys slowly got to his feet and headed down the hall to the bathroom to get a washcloth for Shiro's face while Etsuko looked particularly self-satisfied. Suguru and Shiro scowled at each other.
"How about this," Satomi said brightly. "We'll all go to the park today after lunch."
Every boy in the room suddenly looked up at her, and there was eager silence for a split second before they all opened their mouths simultaneously.
"That's an awesome idea!"
"My sister rocks!"
"She's MY sister! That's my sister over there, ugly."
"Don't call me ugly, ugly!"
"Yes, let's go to the park!"
"Bunta?" Satomi asked softly, turning towards the little boy sitting in the corner. "Do you want to go to the park?"
Slowly, the little boy nodded and raised a hand. Satomi caught his hand before his finger entered his nose.
"Don't pick your nose, Bunta, mommy doesn't like it," she said, straightening up. "All right, it's a plan! We're going to the park after lunch, okay? It's hot today, so make sure you put sun lotion on your face."
"I want to put sun lotion on Suguru's butt," Shiro said seriously.
"Bottom," Satomi corrected automatically. "What would be the point of that? He'll be wearing pants," Satomi said, hiding a smile.
"Don't get your hopes up," Etsuko said seriously. "You don't know them like I do. They're gross."
"Suguru's gross, I'm just mildly unappealing," Shiro said indignantly.
"Oh?" Satomi asked, eyebrow raised. "Who told you that?"
"Susumu did," Shiro said, looking crestfallen as Susumu appeared with a sopping-wet washcloth.
"I see," Satomi said, taking the washcloth from him and wringing it out over the sink. Sighing, she knelt to rub the chocolate off Shiro's face before starting on lunch. As she turned back to the kitchen, there was a thumping sound.
"Hey, 'Tomi?" Suguru asked, looking down at the floor. "You know how you said 'try not to kill each other while I'm gone?' And then Etsuko said, 'They couldn't if they tried?'"
Satomi had a sinking feeling as she slowly turned to face him. Shiro lay on the ground in front of him, his hand thrown haphazardly over his face.
"Well, I think I managed it," Suguru said cheerfully, sitting back down. Satomi rushed over to Shiro and helped him up as he began to cry.
"You okay, Shiro-chan?" Satomi asked.
"That bastard Suguru hit me," Shiro whined.
"Don't use such language," Satomi scolded immediately. "Where did you hear that?"
"He heard it at school and asked me what it meant," Etsuko said indignantly as Shiro raised a hand to point at him.
"You didn't tell him, did you?" Satomi exclaimed, aghast.
"Of course I did," Etsuko said smugly. Satomi made a face.
"Listen, whatever Etsuko said is a lie, okay?" Satomi said firmly, patting Shiro softly on the head.
"So… a bastard isn't a mean twin?" Shiro asked, looking up at Satomi with a mixture of awe and disbelief.
"No, it's…" Satomi stopped herself in time and sighed, closing her eyes for a moment. "It's a bad word, okay? Don't use it. And Etsuko? Don't lie to him, please."
"So next time I'm allowed to actually tell him what it means?" Etsuko asked.
"No, just say you don't know," Satomi said exasperatedly.
"But that would be lying," Etsuko pointed out.
"Yeah, well, it's better than a 5-year-old calling his twin a bastard. That's kind of self-insulting, I should think," Satomi said, shaking her head. "Anyway, everyone wash your hands, we're going to eat."
"I'm going to get there first!" Shiro yelled immediately, leaping up.
"Oh, no you don't!" Suguru exclaimed, racing after him.
The other boys followed.
"Susumu, help the younger boys wash up for lunch, okay?" Satomi called down the hall.
"Fine, but don't expect me to do it well," Susumu called back, disappearing into the bathroom with the other boys. Satomi began humming as she began preparing lunch, which was quick because it was just noodles.
She took out six bowls, counted them twice just to be sure, and gathered spoons as the rampage that signaled the boys' arrival began.
"Serve me first!" Suguru exclaimed.
"I want to eat my candy," Shiro said sadly, looking down at the half bar of chocolate squeezed firmly in his chubby fist. It was melting down his hand.
"I ate mine already," Suguru said, eyeing Shiro's candy. Shiro stuffed it in his mouth before Suguru could try anything funny.
"I said you were only allowed to have half before lunch," Satomi said, sitting Bunta down gently and putting a bowl of ramen in front of him.
"Careful, it's hot," she warned as she brought over the soup bowls. She knelt beside Bunta and took his bowl, to blow on it until it was cool enough for him to eat.
"Hot!" Suguru exclaimed, his spoon ricocheting off the table and flying into the air. Satomi instinctively hopped slightly, throwing up her hand and intercepting it midair. She caught it before it hit the ground and handed it back to Suguru, who chuckled.
"I did warn you," Satomi said kindly.
"He did that on purpose to watch you catch it," Etsuko said disapprovingly.
"Why would he do something like that?" Satomi asked with a frown.
"Because he's a sick pervert, that's why," Susumu said from his quiet little spot. Satomi put her hands on her hips.
"Just perfect," Satomi said sarcastically. "Thank you, Susumu. Now that's going to be the new Word of the Week."
"I'm still on 'bastard,'" Shiro offered helpfully from his spot.
"We're going to have Silent Time, okay? No one talks all through lunch," Satomi said firmly. "Shiro-chan, don't say that word."
"Fine, but before we have Silent Time-"
"Too late, it started already. The person who stays quiet longest wins a hundred yen," Satomi said, settling down with her own bowl of soup beside Bunta. Immediate silence ensued.
"Can we breathe?" Suguru whispered through a clenched jaw, sitting rigid and unmoving.
"No," Satomi spat evilly. Susumu smiled slightly.
"Of course you can!" She exclaimed finally when Suguru began to turn blue. "You can breathe, blink your eyes, and move. You just can't talk and don't do anything loud."
"You lost," Shiro exclaimed, pointing accusingly at Suguru. "Didn't you hear him? He talked."
"You lost first. You breathed without asking if you were allowed," Suguru exclaimed, returning the accusing point.
"You're both still in the game if you don't say another word," Satomi said. The boys contented themselves with glowering from across the table and the rest of the meal was eaten in peace.
Captain Toshiro Hitsugaya of Squad 10 of the 13 Court Guard Squads sat dejectedly in front of a pile of paper.
"Why is it that I have to do paperwork even when in the World of the Living?" He grumbled to himself. "I just don't understand it. I accepted this mission to get away from the paperwork."
"Maybe it has little legs and follows you around wherever you go," his lieutenant, Rangiku Matsumoto, said cheerfully from across the room. "You're going to be in the middle of a battle, and your enemy looks down, and he starts laughing. You follow his gaze and there's a row of walking paper nicely stacked up heading straight for you-"
"In which case," Captain Hitsugaya interrupted, "it'd follow you as well. You'd be sitting there minding your own business and suddenly-"
"Please don't, captain," Matsumoto said suddenly, throwing a hand up to her generous chest. "Ooh, I got shivers down my spine already."
"Oh, please, Matsumoto," Hitsugaya said distastefully. "Man up."
"I can't, sir, I'm a woman," Matsumoto said matter-of-factly.
"I'm well aware of that. Try the best you can."
"Well aware, huh? Just how long have you known?"
"Are you trying to be funny, or are you drunk, Matsumoto?"
"I don't know. Which do you think?"
"If I had to hazard a guess, I'd say drunk."
"Oh, captain! You wound me."
With a long-suffering sigh, the white-haired child prodigy got up and headed towards the door.
"Are you going someplace fun without me?" Matsumoto exclaimed, getting up immediately.
"I'm going for a walk. Stay, Matsumoto. Guard. Good girl."
"I'm not a dog, captain," Matsumoto said reproachfully.
"No?" The captain asked innocently as he disappeared out the door and into the outside.
"Come back here, bastard!" Shiro shrieked as he chased his twin across the grass.
"I said not to use that word!" Satomi called from the bench overlooking the park area. Susumu sat next to her silently, his dark eyes following little Bunta, who played in the grass nearby.
"But he is," Shiro insisted, stopping to look back at his older sister pleadingly.
"Believe me, he's not," Satomi replied. "You can call him a meany."
"Meany!" Shiro tried. He turned back to her. "It's just not the same," he complained.
"Yeah, well, deal with it!" Satomi called. Shiro raced off after his twin, who had gotten a decent head start. Satomi watched them for a few more minutes in silence, then looked around for Etsuko, who should've also been keeping an eye on them.
He was standing nearby, leaning casually against a pole, surrounded by three girls about his age listening intently to whatever he was saying.
"Oh," Satomi moaned. Susumu glanced at her.
"You all right?" He asked.
"Yeah, it's just tough having to watch all of them. You're watching Bunta, right?" She asked, looking back at Susumu, who nodded.
"Good – don't put that in your mouth, Shiro-chan!" Satomi yelped suddenly, leaping up and racing down the park to where she guessed Suguru had dared Shiro to eat a worm. Susumu leaned back against the bench, enjoying the warm sunlight.
He slowly closed his eyes and found himself falling asleep.