Evolution
Part I: My Way
By Aeris
My Way or The Highway
By Limp Bizkit
Special, you think your special you do,
I can see it in your eyes
I can see it when you laugh at me
Look down on me and,
You walk around on me
Just one more fight about your leadership
And I will straight up leave your sh**
Cause I've had enough of this and now I'm p***** (yeah)
This time I'm a let it all come out
This time I'm a stand up and shout
I'm a do things my way,
It's my way, my way or the highway
This time I'm a let it all come out
This time I'm a stand up and shout
I'm a do things my way,
It's my way, my way or the highway
Just one more fight about a lotta things
And I will give up everything to be on my own again,
Free again
This time I'm a let it all come out
This time I'm a stand up and shout
I'm a do things my way,
It's my way, my way or the highway
This time I'm a let it all come out
This time I'm a stand up and shout
I'm a do things my way,
It's my way, my way or the highway
Someday you'll see things my way
Cause you never know,
No ya never know when your gonna go
Someday you'll see things my way
Cause you never know,
No ya never know when your gonna go
Just one more fight and I'll be history
Yes I will straight up leave your sh**
And you'll be the one who's left missing me (yeah)
This time I'm a let it all come out
This time I'm a stand up and shout
I'm a do things my way,
It's my way, my way or the highway
This time I'm a let it all come out
This time I'm a stand up and shout
I'm a do things my way, it's my way,
My way or the highway
Someday you'll see things my way
Cause you never know,
When ya never know when your gonna go
Someday you'll see things my way
Cause you never know, when ya never know
"If he's such a ninny then why is he the boss?"
Kerry glanced over at her eight-year-old goddaughter with amusement. The young girl was always determined to see the world in black and white, instead of the greys that she had to deal with on a day-to-day basis. "Because he's a manipulative ninny who happens to be a brilliant surgeon."
"Oh." Jaime spread the freshly shredded cheese over the pizza dough before taking a seat at the island. "Why did he try to fire you?"
"I briefly quit." She smiled as she quickly headed off the on coming question. "I have to protect my staff, even if that means throwing myself in the line of fire."
"Do you love her?"
Her knife stopped midair as she glanced into the girl's earnest blue-green eyes in surprise. She'd only come out, not only to Romano, but to her friends and family, two days ago. Yet, everyone had been fully supportive of her. "Yes."
She laughed quietly as Jamie let out a dreamy, depressed sigh and plopped her chin onto her hand. The young girl had demanded that she stay with her 'Aunt Kerry' after she'd found out about the events of the last few months. Jamie had always been incredibly protective of her, more so after finding out about her being a lesbian. Then again the fact that the girl had two mothers, who'd been illegally married for a little over fifteen years and legally married in Europe for one year, might've had a hand in that.
"Don't worry, Aunt Kerry, it'll all come out ever after."
"Ever after?"
"You know, happily ever after?"
Kerry shook her head unable to grasp the kind of sayings everyone seemed to be using these days. It was like a whole new language.
"I'll get it..."
She dropped the knife as she finally registered not only the insistent ringing of the nearby telephone but the lean, eight-going-on-thirteen girl diving for the phone.
"Hello? Oh. Hello, Kevin..."
One of these days she was going to have to learn that keeping a pre-teen girl and a telephone in the same house was not smart.
Kim narrowed her eyes at the group around the admittance desk as they not-so-subtly stopped talking and scattered. Malucci simply stood there, holding onto a chart like it was a life raft. His normally dark skin was quickly turning a crimson shade.
She came to a halt behind Randi, trying to figure out what was wrong with him. His eyes were glazed over and looking anywhere but at her, his posture was slumped and unsure. He seemed to melt under her gaze until he finally croaked and hastily backed away.
"I don't believe it." She struggled against the sudden urge to laugh. The blunt, harsh-mouthed resident had been blushing.
"No kidding."
Kim eyed the dark-haired clerk wearily. It seemed like every time she walked into a room or approached any of her colleagues they would suddenly lose their ability to speak. Every time she was halfway friendly towards anyone, they seemed to be unable to keep a knowing grin off their face. That wasn't even including the winks and speculative looks. "So...any interesting gossip lately?"
Randi slowly turned to look at her, an innocent look spreading across her face. "Nope, no gossip here."
Kim eyed her suspiciously for a moment, then casually leaned a hip against the desk next to the clerk. "You know," she said idly, "a large part of being a psychiatrist is uncovering the secrets your patients are hiding."
"That so?" said Randi, apparently uninterested.
"You want to know the best way to get something out of someone?"
Randi let out a sigh. "What?"
"You don't say anything," Kim told her. "You just sit there and wait. Because you know that, deep down, they're really just dying to tell someone, but if you ask them, they'll clam up. So you just sit there and look at them until they can't hold it in any longer."
"Really?"
Kim didn't reply, but just stared steadily at Randi, her calm expression never wavering, her gaze never leaving the clerk's.
Their eyes locked in a silent battle. Kim wanted to know what the hell was going on, and how she was involved. She could see the desk clerk's inner struggle and decided to give her an added push. Shifting tactics, she said, "If this is about Shannon Wallace..."
"What?! Hell, no. She's old news by now."
Aha, gotcha, thought Kim. Once they start talking, they usually can't stop even if they want to. "All right, spill," she prompted.
Randi sighed, defeated. As Kim had surmised, she was just itching to talk about it anyway, even if she was normally too cool to let on. "It's Weaver."
Kim blinked in surprise. Everyone knew how unpopular the chief was, and rumors weren't uncommon. But if all the gossip was about Kerry, then why were they treating her like this? "What about Weaver?"
"...so Mommy said that I couldn't go unless her or Mom went with me, but they both have to work."
Kerry carefully kept her face neutral as Jaime turned her best pout on. She knew from experience that if she showed any fear or weakness that the young girl would pounce, and while she didn't mind spending time with her goddaughter, spending a Friday night at the ice rink with a large group of eight-year-olds wasn't what she considered sane. "Well, I'm sure there'll be other parties."
"I know, but Kevin will be leaving for the summer, and it'll be the last time I'll see him until school starts."
'Oh no...' Any doubt she had that she was going to win this argument went out the window. She could feel her defenses weakening as the young girl's bottom lip began to tremble ever so slightly. "Maybe I could take you two to the movies..."
She sighed softly when Jaime's eyes widened pitifully and slumped back in defeat.
'Damn it...' "I'll see if I can switch shifts with Luka..."
Jaime squealed happily and launched herself into Kerry's arms. "Thank you, Aunt Kerry! You're so nice..."
"Nice isn't what I'd call it..." she answered dryly.
'It doesn't change a thing...'
Kim slammed her office door closed, her office windows shaking. She couldn't believe it. How dare she... How dare that woman do this... She had no right to do this, she had no right to make her feel like this. She was over her. She had moved on.
She didn't forgive her. She didn't love her anymore. She didn't want to kiss her, and hold her in her arms. She didn't want to whisper softly in her ears that everything was going to be all right. She didn't want to take her home with her, and never let her go. She didn't want to spend eternity with her.
She had Laura? Lauren? Lori... Lori. She had Lori now. Red...Brown haired, green eyed... No, hazel eyed. Lori.
She collapsed into her chair wearily, searching for the anger that had, up until ten minutes ago, been driving her. The only problem was that there was no anger left in her.
"There you are. I was looking all over for you."
Kerry ignored Romano as he leaned against the counter. She was running late, due to a certain eight-year-old that was determined to get her to take another day off. Going so far as to hide her car keys; of course, Jaime had forgotten about the spare set she kept hidden in her study. "Is there something I can do for you, Robert?"
"I don't suppose you'd stay out of my business from now on?" He grinned at the answering glare. "I didn't think so. I'll take this month's expense report instead."
"It's in your box." 'The one place you never look,' she added silently.
"Just make sure you don't let that girlfriend of yours effect your work anymore." He started out the door and paused. "By the way, it's good to have the old Weaver back..."
For as long as Kerry had known him, Romano had been a chauvinist bastard, concerned only with his own career. A bastard that was willing to strike out at anyone or anything that made him angry. She also knew that, under all of that, he could be fiercely protective of his people when it served his purpose.
So why was he being so good about this? She'd lashed out at him, cut him off at his knees, and basically made him do things her way. In all cases, he would have let his hurt ego take over. Fired her, suspended her, or embarrassed her.
Then again, he couldn't fire her. Not now at least. It would've looked too much like discrimination, and it would've only done more damage to him.
But you never could tell with Romano. He was undependable and erratic.
She was bored. She was very, very bored. She was old enough to stay at home alone, both her parents and her Aunt thought so. But that also meant she couldn't leave the house until Aunt Kerry got home. She didn't really mind, she had plenty of food. Plus, her Aunt had the coolest DVD home entertainment center, a huge movie collection, and the latest Playstation.
The problem was that she was restless, hyper, and on the verge of bouncing off the walls. She'd spent the first hour on the Internet, the second hour on the phone with Kevin, and the last two hours shooting hoops.
Now, she found herself wondering around the two-story townhouse, exploring each room. She'd just finished going through every drawer, closet, and box in the attic. She'd also managed to get through most of the second floor rooms, leaving only the master bedroom. Aunt Kerry wouldn't mind, and even if she did, she wouldn't be able to stay mad at her long. She never could. She was aware of how everyone saw her Aunt. Tough, private, and mean. She knew better, though. She was lucky, she got to see the other side of her Aunt.
Her godmother was like a combination of an older sister and a mother to her. Kind, humorous, slightly stern, and a lot of fun. She still remembered last summer when she'd broken her ankle in a car crash. She'd been shaken to her core when she'd found her Aunt crying.
After that though, they'd had a lot of fun. Aunt Kerry had stayed with them for the next week, they had stayed up late watching old movies and talking about everything and nothing. Even then there had been a raw fear there that had scared her, and made her feel loved. To know that her Aunt loved her that much had been strangely comforting.
Jaime glanced around at the neatly kept bedroom and immediately zeroed in on a medium sized u-haul box seating on the hope chest at the foot of the bed...
Kerry stopped inside the hallway, taking note of the silence. That was the last thing she expected when that house happened to be containing a hyper eight-year-old. In fact, in the eight years she had been in Jaime's life she had never, ever known the girl to be quiet for long.
Pushing back the dread that was swelling in her stomach, she carefully made her way through each room searching for her missing goddaughter. Finding no sign of her she quickly made her way upstairs. She spotted her open bedroom door and relaxed.
Jaime had probably decided to watch the TV in her bedroom. Satisfied that she'd solved the case of the missing moppet, she made her way into the room, and froze.
Setting on her bed, amidst a scattered pile of pictures and letters was a tearful Jaime. Next to the bed was an empty box, a box she'd carelessly forgotten to put up.
Kerry blinked, immediately concerned and curious as to what could cause such tears in the girl...and then she recognized which box it was.
The one she'd sworn to herself that she'd hide forever from the eyes of the world, and from this child in particular. The one she knew she should have burned, but could never bring herself to destroy. THAT one.
Oh, no...
Jaime looked up at the woman she considered her aunt, eyes filled with confusion and curiosity, tinged with hurt. In a very small voice, she said, "Is this true?"
Kerry considered several responses, then settled for simple honesty. She nodded.
"Are you my mother...?"
Part I: My Way
By Aeris
My Way or The Highway
By Limp Bizkit
Special, you think your special you do,
I can see it in your eyes
I can see it when you laugh at me
Look down on me and,
You walk around on me
Just one more fight about your leadership
And I will straight up leave your sh**
Cause I've had enough of this and now I'm p***** (yeah)
This time I'm a let it all come out
This time I'm a stand up and shout
I'm a do things my way,
It's my way, my way or the highway
This time I'm a let it all come out
This time I'm a stand up and shout
I'm a do things my way,
It's my way, my way or the highway
Just one more fight about a lotta things
And I will give up everything to be on my own again,
Free again
This time I'm a let it all come out
This time I'm a stand up and shout
I'm a do things my way,
It's my way, my way or the highway
This time I'm a let it all come out
This time I'm a stand up and shout
I'm a do things my way,
It's my way, my way or the highway
Someday you'll see things my way
Cause you never know,
No ya never know when your gonna go
Someday you'll see things my way
Cause you never know,
No ya never know when your gonna go
Just one more fight and I'll be history
Yes I will straight up leave your sh**
And you'll be the one who's left missing me (yeah)
This time I'm a let it all come out
This time I'm a stand up and shout
I'm a do things my way,
It's my way, my way or the highway
This time I'm a let it all come out
This time I'm a stand up and shout
I'm a do things my way, it's my way,
My way or the highway
Someday you'll see things my way
Cause you never know,
When ya never know when your gonna go
Someday you'll see things my way
Cause you never know, when ya never know
"If he's such a ninny then why is he the boss?"
Kerry glanced over at her eight-year-old goddaughter with amusement. The young girl was always determined to see the world in black and white, instead of the greys that she had to deal with on a day-to-day basis. "Because he's a manipulative ninny who happens to be a brilliant surgeon."
"Oh." Jaime spread the freshly shredded cheese over the pizza dough before taking a seat at the island. "Why did he try to fire you?"
"I briefly quit." She smiled as she quickly headed off the on coming question. "I have to protect my staff, even if that means throwing myself in the line of fire."
"Do you love her?"
Her knife stopped midair as she glanced into the girl's earnest blue-green eyes in surprise. She'd only come out, not only to Romano, but to her friends and family, two days ago. Yet, everyone had been fully supportive of her. "Yes."
She laughed quietly as Jamie let out a dreamy, depressed sigh and plopped her chin onto her hand. The young girl had demanded that she stay with her 'Aunt Kerry' after she'd found out about the events of the last few months. Jamie had always been incredibly protective of her, more so after finding out about her being a lesbian. Then again the fact that the girl had two mothers, who'd been illegally married for a little over fifteen years and legally married in Europe for one year, might've had a hand in that.
"Don't worry, Aunt Kerry, it'll all come out ever after."
"Ever after?"
"You know, happily ever after?"
Kerry shook her head unable to grasp the kind of sayings everyone seemed to be using these days. It was like a whole new language.
"I'll get it..."
She dropped the knife as she finally registered not only the insistent ringing of the nearby telephone but the lean, eight-going-on-thirteen girl diving for the phone.
"Hello? Oh. Hello, Kevin..."
One of these days she was going to have to learn that keeping a pre-teen girl and a telephone in the same house was not smart.
Kim narrowed her eyes at the group around the admittance desk as they not-so-subtly stopped talking and scattered. Malucci simply stood there, holding onto a chart like it was a life raft. His normally dark skin was quickly turning a crimson shade.
She came to a halt behind Randi, trying to figure out what was wrong with him. His eyes were glazed over and looking anywhere but at her, his posture was slumped and unsure. He seemed to melt under her gaze until he finally croaked and hastily backed away.
"I don't believe it." She struggled against the sudden urge to laugh. The blunt, harsh-mouthed resident had been blushing.
"No kidding."
Kim eyed the dark-haired clerk wearily. It seemed like every time she walked into a room or approached any of her colleagues they would suddenly lose their ability to speak. Every time she was halfway friendly towards anyone, they seemed to be unable to keep a knowing grin off their face. That wasn't even including the winks and speculative looks. "So...any interesting gossip lately?"
Randi slowly turned to look at her, an innocent look spreading across her face. "Nope, no gossip here."
Kim eyed her suspiciously for a moment, then casually leaned a hip against the desk next to the clerk. "You know," she said idly, "a large part of being a psychiatrist is uncovering the secrets your patients are hiding."
"That so?" said Randi, apparently uninterested.
"You want to know the best way to get something out of someone?"
Randi let out a sigh. "What?"
"You don't say anything," Kim told her. "You just sit there and wait. Because you know that, deep down, they're really just dying to tell someone, but if you ask them, they'll clam up. So you just sit there and look at them until they can't hold it in any longer."
"Really?"
Kim didn't reply, but just stared steadily at Randi, her calm expression never wavering, her gaze never leaving the clerk's.
Their eyes locked in a silent battle. Kim wanted to know what the hell was going on, and how she was involved. She could see the desk clerk's inner struggle and decided to give her an added push. Shifting tactics, she said, "If this is about Shannon Wallace..."
"What?! Hell, no. She's old news by now."
Aha, gotcha, thought Kim. Once they start talking, they usually can't stop even if they want to. "All right, spill," she prompted.
Randi sighed, defeated. As Kim had surmised, she was just itching to talk about it anyway, even if she was normally too cool to let on. "It's Weaver."
Kim blinked in surprise. Everyone knew how unpopular the chief was, and rumors weren't uncommon. But if all the gossip was about Kerry, then why were they treating her like this? "What about Weaver?"
"...so Mommy said that I couldn't go unless her or Mom went with me, but they both have to work."
Kerry carefully kept her face neutral as Jaime turned her best pout on. She knew from experience that if she showed any fear or weakness that the young girl would pounce, and while she didn't mind spending time with her goddaughter, spending a Friday night at the ice rink with a large group of eight-year-olds wasn't what she considered sane. "Well, I'm sure there'll be other parties."
"I know, but Kevin will be leaving for the summer, and it'll be the last time I'll see him until school starts."
'Oh no...' Any doubt she had that she was going to win this argument went out the window. She could feel her defenses weakening as the young girl's bottom lip began to tremble ever so slightly. "Maybe I could take you two to the movies..."
She sighed softly when Jaime's eyes widened pitifully and slumped back in defeat.
'Damn it...' "I'll see if I can switch shifts with Luka..."
Jaime squealed happily and launched herself into Kerry's arms. "Thank you, Aunt Kerry! You're so nice..."
"Nice isn't what I'd call it..." she answered dryly.
'It doesn't change a thing...'
Kim slammed her office door closed, her office windows shaking. She couldn't believe it. How dare she... How dare that woman do this... She had no right to do this, she had no right to make her feel like this. She was over her. She had moved on.
She didn't forgive her. She didn't love her anymore. She didn't want to kiss her, and hold her in her arms. She didn't want to whisper softly in her ears that everything was going to be all right. She didn't want to take her home with her, and never let her go. She didn't want to spend eternity with her.
She had Laura? Lauren? Lori... Lori. She had Lori now. Red...Brown haired, green eyed... No, hazel eyed. Lori.
She collapsed into her chair wearily, searching for the anger that had, up until ten minutes ago, been driving her. The only problem was that there was no anger left in her.
"There you are. I was looking all over for you."
Kerry ignored Romano as he leaned against the counter. She was running late, due to a certain eight-year-old that was determined to get her to take another day off. Going so far as to hide her car keys; of course, Jaime had forgotten about the spare set she kept hidden in her study. "Is there something I can do for you, Robert?"
"I don't suppose you'd stay out of my business from now on?" He grinned at the answering glare. "I didn't think so. I'll take this month's expense report instead."
"It's in your box." 'The one place you never look,' she added silently.
"Just make sure you don't let that girlfriend of yours effect your work anymore." He started out the door and paused. "By the way, it's good to have the old Weaver back..."
For as long as Kerry had known him, Romano had been a chauvinist bastard, concerned only with his own career. A bastard that was willing to strike out at anyone or anything that made him angry. She also knew that, under all of that, he could be fiercely protective of his people when it served his purpose.
So why was he being so good about this? She'd lashed out at him, cut him off at his knees, and basically made him do things her way. In all cases, he would have let his hurt ego take over. Fired her, suspended her, or embarrassed her.
Then again, he couldn't fire her. Not now at least. It would've looked too much like discrimination, and it would've only done more damage to him.
But you never could tell with Romano. He was undependable and erratic.
She was bored. She was very, very bored. She was old enough to stay at home alone, both her parents and her Aunt thought so. But that also meant she couldn't leave the house until Aunt Kerry got home. She didn't really mind, she had plenty of food. Plus, her Aunt had the coolest DVD home entertainment center, a huge movie collection, and the latest Playstation.
The problem was that she was restless, hyper, and on the verge of bouncing off the walls. She'd spent the first hour on the Internet, the second hour on the phone with Kevin, and the last two hours shooting hoops.
Now, she found herself wondering around the two-story townhouse, exploring each room. She'd just finished going through every drawer, closet, and box in the attic. She'd also managed to get through most of the second floor rooms, leaving only the master bedroom. Aunt Kerry wouldn't mind, and even if she did, she wouldn't be able to stay mad at her long. She never could. She was aware of how everyone saw her Aunt. Tough, private, and mean. She knew better, though. She was lucky, she got to see the other side of her Aunt.
Her godmother was like a combination of an older sister and a mother to her. Kind, humorous, slightly stern, and a lot of fun. She still remembered last summer when she'd broken her ankle in a car crash. She'd been shaken to her core when she'd found her Aunt crying.
After that though, they'd had a lot of fun. Aunt Kerry had stayed with them for the next week, they had stayed up late watching old movies and talking about everything and nothing. Even then there had been a raw fear there that had scared her, and made her feel loved. To know that her Aunt loved her that much had been strangely comforting.
Jaime glanced around at the neatly kept bedroom and immediately zeroed in on a medium sized u-haul box seating on the hope chest at the foot of the bed...
Kerry stopped inside the hallway, taking note of the silence. That was the last thing she expected when that house happened to be containing a hyper eight-year-old. In fact, in the eight years she had been in Jaime's life she had never, ever known the girl to be quiet for long.
Pushing back the dread that was swelling in her stomach, she carefully made her way through each room searching for her missing goddaughter. Finding no sign of her she quickly made her way upstairs. She spotted her open bedroom door and relaxed.
Jaime had probably decided to watch the TV in her bedroom. Satisfied that she'd solved the case of the missing moppet, she made her way into the room, and froze.
Setting on her bed, amidst a scattered pile of pictures and letters was a tearful Jaime. Next to the bed was an empty box, a box she'd carelessly forgotten to put up.
Kerry blinked, immediately concerned and curious as to what could cause such tears in the girl...and then she recognized which box it was.
The one she'd sworn to herself that she'd hide forever from the eyes of the world, and from this child in particular. The one she knew she should have burned, but could never bring herself to destroy. THAT one.
Oh, no...
Jaime looked up at the woman she considered her aunt, eyes filled with confusion and curiosity, tinged with hurt. In a very small voice, she said, "Is this true?"
Kerry considered several responses, then settled for simple honesty. She nodded.
"Are you my mother...?"