Chapter 1: A Man (By This World's Legal Definition) Chooses
"Greetings, and welcome to the world of Pokémon!"
The group of children immediately quieted from their chattering and watched in awe as a middle aged man in a lab coat addressed them. For many of them it was their first time in the Pallet Town pokémon lab, and as a result most of them were close to jumping up and down with anticipation.
"My name is Oak," the man in the lab coat said. "People affectionately call me the Pokémon Professor."
Oak smiled as he pulled out a red and white ball. Pressing a button on the ball's equator caused the ball to open and unleash a stream of bluish-white energy, with a small blue rodent like creature materializing from it.
"Nidoran!" the creature spoke.
"Oooooh," the children said collectively.
Oak scooped the Nidoran up in his arms. "This world is inhabited by creatures called Pokémon. For some people, Pokémon are pets. Others use them for battling. As for myself…"
The Pokémon Professor scratched the Nidoran's ears before setting her down. Another beam of light came from the ball and dematerialized the pokémon, signifying its return to the ball.
"I study pokémon as a profession."
The professor turned to his left. "Now, what's your name?"
Oak stopped speaking, as if waiting for someone else to start in his place. The children waited in silent confusion.
"…Um, sorry," Oak chuckled. "This is where my assistant usually chimes in. Red. Red?"
A black haired boy clad in a red short-sleeve jacket, jeans and red and white baseball cap leaning against the lab's inner entrance jolted once he heard his name.
"S-sorry professor," Red said.
The boy cleared his throat, getting into character.
"I'm Red," he said with a tone indicating he's done this multiple times before. "And I've made it my goal to become a trainer. As a trainer, one has to know quite a bit about pokémon! Now, who's ready to take a tour of the lab so you guys can learn how to become trainers too?"
Every last kid raised their hands and shouted "Me! Me! Me!" at the top of their little lungs.
"Well too bad," Red said. "Because I released all the lab's pokémon back into the harsh wilderness this morning."
"Red!"
"I'm just kidding!" Red said assuredly as some of the children began quivering their lips. "Your very own Pokémon legend is about to unfold. Let's go!"
The group of children cheered as Red led them into the laboratory, with Professor Oak following the group in, shaking his head with an amused grin towards his assistant.
The professor knew Red since the boy was a baby, and felt that he had become a second grandson to him. The boy grew up with only his mother looking after him, and has had a love for pokémon ever since becoming friends with his mother's Poliwag, now a Poliwhirl, as a toddler.
As of the tomorrow though, Red will be eleven years old, which is the official age one would be legally able to travel the Kanto region in search of pokémon, a journey dozens make. It is during that journey many boys and girls determine what kind of man and woman they will be for the rest of their lives, deciding on their careers and pursuing their dreams.
The only problem is, out of all the young would-be trainers Oak had mentored through his own career as a professor, Red was the only one who absolutely would not tell him what he wants to do once on his journey.
Fortunately for this year, Professor Oak thinks he has devised something to get Red motivated. Something that has never been done before, something that could change the field of pokémon study and allow its participants to go down in history.
Red led the children all around the lab and showed them the different species of pokémon, perfectly explaining their types and qualities, answering any questions the group had and letting some smaller pokémon out for the children to interact with themselves. Oak's pride for Red swelled in that moment, second only to the pride he felt for his grandson, who was returning from his training that night.
"Hope you guys learned a lot!" Red said to the group as he opened the door leading back outside. "And be nice for the next guy when you come back next year."
"Will we see you again Mister Red?" one little boy asked.
Red paused. "Not for a while. But I promise if I'm back by next year, I'll have some presents for you guys."
"Yay!" the children cheered as they went out the door where their parents waited.
"You really are good at this," Professor Oak said as Red shut the door once more. "I'm going to miss having you around to help me."
Red grinned. "And I'm going to miss raiding your fridge."
"You did stop drinking my juice, right?" Oak asked with suspicion. "It was imported from Kalos and made with special grapes."
Red raised his hands. "I already said I was sorry about that. And I only ever drank the one bottle, which took forever to pay off by the way."
Red went back into the lab to grab his backpack.
"So," Oak said as he followed Red. "Tomorrow's the big day. Nervous? Excited?"
"Some of Column A," Red said as he opened the bag to re-check its contents, "Mostly Column B."
"Any thoughts on what you might do on your journey?" Oak asked.
Red shrugged. "I figured I'd just make it up as I go along."
Oak frowned slightly. The answer he expected but not the one he hoped for.
"One thing for sure though, I'm going to catch as many pokémon as I see."
Oak grinned at hearing that. "Funny you should mention that. I was wondering if you'd like to swing back by the lab early tomorrow morning. I have a couple of things I'd like to give you."
Red raised an eyebrow and chuckled. "Is this another one of your experiments? Because the last one ended so well."
"If you're referring to the incident involving that Mr. Mime and that one Sherryl Crow album, I seem to recall it being your idea."
"You sanctioned it!" Red argued with a laugh.
"I didn't think you would actually go through with it," Oak said. "Or that the other pokémon would behave in that manner."
"Yeah," Red said. "The town's never going to let me live that one down."
"They might if you… I don't know…competed in the-"
"No," Red said, zipping his backpack.
"You never told me why," Oak said.
"I don't want to," Red said. "Simple as that."
"I'm not going to force it on you," Professor Oak said. "I just think it would be good for you."
"I just don't see the point," Red said as he hoisted his pack over one shoulder and slipped his other arm through the second strap. "We haven't had a champion in twelve years, and most trainers from here never make it as far as the sixth gym."
"Well, you could always be the first," Professor Oak said.
"What about your grandson?" Red said.
"Oh yes, um… what was his name again?"
Red cast a deadpan look. "Please tell me you didn't seriously forget your own flesh and blood's name."
The professor chuckled. "Of course not, I'm only teasing. Anyway, Blue should be returning from his training within a couple of hours."
"He has more of a chance becoming champion than I do," Red said. "I've never even used a pokémon to battle before and he's definitely not going to let me forget that."
"Come now, I'm sure he's matured by now."
"No he hasn't," Red stated simply.
"No he hasn't," Oak agreed with resignation. "Well, if you do not wish to compete in the Indigo League that's more than fine. It was only a suggestion."
Red scratched his neck awkwardly. Wishing to change the subject, he said, "So… you want me to pick up a couple of things tomorrow?"
"Oh, yes," the professor nodded. "I believe they will help you and Blue on your journeys, especially if you want to catch as many pokémon as possible."
Red's eyes widened after the professor said that.
"What is it?" he asked excitedly.
"You'll see," Oak winked.
"Is one of those things a pokémon?" Red asked, jumping up and down in place. "You're giving me a starter, right?"
"Maybe…." Professor Oak replied.
As Red kept jumping for the next few seconds, Oak sighed once he realized Red wouldn't leave without a confirmation.
"Yes."
"Whoo-hoo!" Red shouted. "I'll be here at the crack of dawn professor!"
"Well, you don't have to be here that early-" the professor said.
"If I do, can I get first pick?"
"I-I suppose so…"
"Thank you so much professor!" Red said. "I can't wait!"
Professor Oak smiled as he held out a wad of bills towards his now-officially former assistant.
"Here's your last pay wage," Oak said. "Hopefully that will last you for at least a little while on your journey."
Red accepted the cash, stuffed it in his pocket and shook the professor's hand.
"It was great working with you Professor! I'll see you tomorrow!"
Red let go and ran out the door of the lab and all the way through Pallet Town back to his house, where he spent the rest of the evening eagerly waiting for the dawn of the next day.
"Jigglypuff, Ji-guh-leee-puff"
Red slapped the Jigglypuff alarm clock off his nightstand immediately as he woke. He chuckled, for he had studied from a book on Normal-types how Jigglypuff would use Sing to put opponents in a light comatose state with a tune of its own creation.
The boy had a healthy love of irony.
Once Red got dressed, he bolted down the stairs towards the blue walled living room of his house, only to nearly tumble into Poli, the family Poliwhirl, at the foot of the stairs.
"Poliwhirl!" the Tadpole Pokémon exclaimed.
"Yeah, today's the day!" Red agreed.
"Do you have everything ready to take with you honey?" Red's mom asked while in the house's small kitchen.
"Everything except what Professor Oak said he had for me," Red replied. "Which I'm going to get this morning."
Red looked back at Poli. "And you're going to have a new buddy traveling with us."
Poli's eyes lit up at that. Red could tell he's wanted a fellow pokémon to play with for a while and now he looked like Christmas came early.
"Come get some breakfast first," Red's mom said. "I made your favorite."
Chocolate chip and peanut butter pancakes, Red thought. Favorite is an understatement.
Mother and son sat down to eat together, each beginning to realize that this would be the last meal the two will share for a while.
"You will call in every town right?" Red's mom asked.
"Of course," Red replied.
Red's mom smiled. "My little baby boy, all grown up now."
She placed her fork down as tears started to shine in her eyes.
"Aw, Mom," Red said, putting down his own fork and putting a hand over his mother's. "It's not like I'm never coming back."
"I know," Red's mom said. "And I'm sure you'll have a promising career as a trainer, no matter what path you decide to take."
Red removed his hand and darted his eyes to the side. He didn't want to tell his mother that he still didn't know what he wanted to do once he became a trainer. He could take the route Professor Oak did and become a researcher, but it seemed everyone he talked to always suggested battling first.
It's not that Red did not know anything about battling or never gave thought to doing it. Heck, he loved watching matches on TV. He knew from his research that pokémon were naturally competitive, a trait that all species were determined to have shared as a result of having one common ancestor…which is an unconfirmed theory, but has merit as evidenced by the biology of the Ditto species. He ran simulations as part of his tutelage and was able to win a majority of them due to exploiting type advantages.
But real life would no doubt be different, and Red doubted felling a large pokémon with one effective move would be that quick, easy and frequent. Plus, he felt unprepared for status enhancing moves pokémon could perform, as he never had the patience for them in the simulations.
And catching pokémon required at least a little battling.
Was he really going to be cut out for this?
"What if I…" Red started. He shut his mouth as he thought of what to say, but then opened it again. "What if I-I'm not saying I will but-if I decide to actually battle, what if I can't do it?"
Red's mother placed her hand on his shoulder and pulled him into a hug.
"You can do anything Red," she said. "You're an intelligent boy and pokémon love you. I'm not going to lie, there will be times where you will have to battle outside of catching pokémon. Especially with those Team Rocket characters prowling about. But if you decide to compete, just remember it's not about winning. It's about strengthening the bond between you and your pokémon."
Red smiled. He wasn't fully reassured, but his mom always knew how to make him feel slightly more at ease.
"Thanks mom."
"Now go pick up that starter pokémon," Red's mom said excitedly. "And be sure to swing back by to pick up Poli. Wouldn't want to forget him."
"Never," Red agreed. "That Poliwhirl saved my life."
After he finished eating, Red went out the front door and walked down the path leading to the lab, the black sky slowly becoming pink and orange as daybreak approached. Once Red made it back to the rectangular building that had become a second home to him, he fumbled through his pocket for the keys, grinning to himself that he made it before-
"Well, well, well, well, well," a cocky voice echoed from behind. "Wet-The-Bed Red. It's been a while."
Red groaned. He turned to the voice with a glare.
"Not long enough of a while, Blue."
Blue Oak smirked. Some parts of him were the same as when Red last saw him; same brown spiky hair, same blue long sleeved shirt, same punch able smirk. Two major things were different though.
One, over the waist of his jeans was a belt that had a single pokéball attached, which meant Blue had already found a pokémon while away, which will most likely be more powerful than the starters in Professor Oak's lab and maybe more powerful than Poli.
The other thing Red noticed was how Blue had now gotten slightly taller than him. That's one more thing Blue can add to his list of things to annoy Red about, in addition to his embarrassing nickname (based on ONE incident from when they were five and had a sleepover).
Blue whistled. "Harsh. I thought we were friends."
"Really?" Red asked. "Because last time I checked a dictionary, the word friend wasn't defined as 'guy who suddenly started harassing me for no reason and developed the need to shove his superiority complex in one's face'."
"Could you be any wordier when talking?" Blue said, rolling his eyes.
"Ok, how's this: You're a jerk."
"And you are a dork," Blue replied. "We all have flaws."
Red rolled his eyes and continued to unlock the door. Blue wasn't going to get to him anymore. He is the grown-up one, not Blue.
"Gramps is right behind me by the way," Blue said as he followed Red in. "Just in case you were thinking of running off with all three pokémon, since we all know how greedy you can be."
"Oh like you've never raided one or two fridges," Red replied, already wishing he was back in bed despite being full of energy before.
Once the two were in the lab's main room, Professor Oak walked around them to a table with three pokéballs lined in a row. Each had a label in front of them displaying the pokémon's name.
"Well," Oak began with a proud grin. "Eleven years ago today you were both born only hours apart. Now, you both are ready to travel through Kanto and train pokémon. Time certainly flies doesn't it?"
Oak gestured to the table. "I've prepared something for the two of you, but first let's get the part you two are most excited for out of the way. Red, since I promised you could get first pick if you were early, go on ahead."
Red breathed in and walked forward. He stopped in front of the table and read each of the labels:
Bulbasaur, the Seed Pokémon
Charmander, the Lizard Pokémon
Squirtle, the Tiny Turtle Pokémon
"Ok," Red said more to himself than the others. "I've thought on this for a while last night and all of this morning, and the pokémon I choose is…"
He picked up the first pokéball in the row.
"Bulbasaur," Red confirmed, holding up the pokéball for the professor to see.
"Good choice Red," Professor Oak nodded.
Blue, however, snorted. "You would choose the one nobody else would, you hipster."
Red glared. "Bulbasaur is reliable. Not only is it the only starter that's dual typed in all three of its evolutionary stages, but it also can learn a multitude of status inflicting moves that help in both battling and catching other pokémon."
"Whatever," Blue said as he came up to the table himself. "I actually thought you were going to choose Charmander because of some stupid reason like it matching your name."
Blue smirked as he picked up Charmander's pokéball. "Oh well, that just means I can take it now."
"So Red, you have chosen Bulbasaur," Professor Oak said, "and Blue, you have chosen Charmander. Excellent!"
"What will happen to the Squirtle?" Red asked, slightly feeling bad that it didn't get chosen.
"It will stay in the lab with the other pokémon," Oak said, "and be cared for until a trainer can be found for it."
Professor Oak walked around the table towards a cabinet. "Now, to get to the main reason you two are here. You two may be used to the presence of PCs having grown up with them, but they are still a relatively new invention. To think we could digitally store pokémon; I still marvel at it."
Professor Oak opened the cabinet and reached in. "It is my belief that this technology has opened the door for my life's dream to finally come true. You both are aware that there are several books and journals written on individual pokémon species, types and so on, but no comprehensive encyclopedia on all 149 species found in the Kanto region."
Professor Oak placed two red devices on the table and closed the cabinet. "Thanks to the PC, one could potentially catch all 149 species and make this encyclopedia. But it won't be written with ink and paper."
The professor turned and held up one of the devices. "It will be recorded on this."
Red and Blue looked at each other, then back to the device in confusion.
"What is it?" Red asked.
"This, my boy, is the Pokédex," Professor Oak said with triumph. "I've spent the past two years developing it. A device that, after scanning a pokémon, will be able to tell you all sorts of information on it; its habitat, cry, weight, even the potential move list it could know.
Oak handed the rectangular device to Red. "These are prototypes, so they are the only two in existence at the moment. However, the board for the Pokémon Institute said if it proves to be a success in Kanto, they will permit professors from other regions to build and issue their own versions."
"And you're giving these to us?" Red asked with amazement.
"I believe the two of you are the best candidates," Professor Oak said. "You have my complete trust."
"How do these work?" Blue asked as his grandfather handed him the other pokédex.
"If one of you would release your starter," Professor Oak said, "I can demonstrate."
"I'll go," Red said as he gave back his pokédex and prepared his pokéball. "Bulbasaur, go!"
Red threw the pokéball in the air, which released a stream of light that materialized into a dinosaur like creature with a green bulb on its back.
"…Saur?"
"Now," Professor Oak said, holding up the pokédex so the small, circular blue scanner on the top left hand corner of the device was facing Bulbasaur. "All you need to do is point this at any pokémon in front of you and the pokémon will automatically be scanned."
Professor Oak then pressed a triangular button on the right hand side, causing the device to swing open from right to left, revealing a miniature keyboard and a small screen.
"Then, the pokémon most recently scanned will appear on this screen, along with all of its information."
An image of Bulbasaur appeared on the screen, along with text below that the professor scrolled through with the directional buttons.
"Cool," Red said as the Professor handed him back the device.
The Bulbasaur sniffed at the feet of his new trainer.
"Hey there," Red said, knees bending so he could be on the same level as his new pokémon. "I'm Red."
Bulbasaur stared at Red for minutes. As Red was about to reach out and pet it in reassurance, vines came from the sides of his bulb and reached behind Red.
"AAAAAAUUGGGHH!"
Red was being lifted up by his underwear, pulled from inside his jeans.
Blue was laughing harder than Red have ever seen, enough to where his face was turning purple.
"Oh man, being given a wedgie by your own starter," Blue said, gasping as he calmed down. "That's too good."
He released his new Charmander and picked it up with it facing him.
"You won't do anything like that to me," he said proudly. "You're the better one-"
Before Blue could finish, Charmander spat a stream of flame into his face. Once the pokémon stopped, the boy's face was singed. All he could do was cough out a puff of smoke.
It was now Red's turn to laugh, in spite of the pain he was in at the moment.
Professor Oak sweatdropped. "Well, um… they may be a little tricky to reign in at first. They are technically still children after all."
Red sighed. If this was going to be what the rest of his journey would be like, then so help him.
AN: So it's been a really long time since I posted something on this site. I was going back through my old Pokémon parody story and there was a bit that I was no longer satisfied with, some parts I feel either haven't aged well or could be improved. So I decided to remake it, and hopefully I can finish it in time for the anniversary of when Pokémon came to the U.S. by next year.
The main difference between this version and the previous version is that this one will be less of a parody and more of an adaptation of various parts of Pokémon Gen 1 media, combining aspects from the games, Adventures manga and anime.
There will be still humor, and I am thinking of salvaging the jokes I still think work from the previous version, but it will be less of a surreal and overt parody, and more a celebration of the franchise's beginnings while still poking fun at some aspects like many Pokémon fan works.
Let me know what you guys think, any kind of criticism is welcome!