"Um, no. I'm good (Name)."
"But please Mina!, just give it a shot, you never know!" You clasped your hands and begged for the black-haired girl to try. About a month ago, you had an amazing idea. You would start a matchmaking service and try to get your peers together, despite the pleads of your classmates, telling you it would be a disaster, you went on with it.
You stood there, mouth agape, with your hand out, as she backed up and ran. You thought back to your 'success' stories, you had almost gotten Hannah and Franz together, except you didn't.
You heard that the two ended up together, without your help.
You groaned and picked up the flyers that no one took, and proceeded to walk back to your locker. As you were headed to your destination, you meet eyes with a particular smiling brunet.
"Oh, hey (Y/n)!"
"...hey Marco," You looked down and your faced darkened. Marco sensed something wrong with your mood and hesitantly asked if he can help carry your stack of papers. (Like the sweet little angel he was is 3)
It was quiet as you two were walking down. He opened his mouth but quickly shut it, seeing your glowering expression. You were not having it today. After arriving to your locker, he put the flyers down and sighed.
"(Nam-"
"I don't want to hear it." You quickly interjected. You knew it. He was probably going to say:'(Name), this match-maker shit is complete utter bullshit, in his nicest way possible. But you knew he wouldn't do that. He wasn't as brutally honest as Jean or as crude as Ymir.
"That's not it (Name), you shouldn't..." Marco paused trying to think of a better way to word his advice. He sighed. "You shouldn't force people to try out your club. It might make you look... desperate."
Your eyes widen. Even the caring Marco was trying to stop you from achieving your dreams. "Well, gee thanks Marco," You harshly slammed your locker and walked the other way, leaving Marco bewildered.
The thing is you knew deep down he was right, and that you simply just couldn't face reality. After watching all those dramatic telenovelas, and Indian soap operas, you should've known people would stay far away from you and your delusion of being some weird horoscope match-making God.
Not to mention whenever, questioned about your love life, you had no idea how to answer them.
"Oi (Name) do you really think people are going to try your little 'service' to get laid? Dumbest shit I've ever heard!" The tall brunette sneered to you, only for a blond goddess petite girl to headbutt her back."Ow!"
"Ymir, that's not nice at all!" The girl exclaimed, shaking her head, with her arms crossed and eyebrows furrowed.
A few minutes ago you thought you had a willing customer: Sasha. It turned out she only played along in exchange for your half-eaten energy bar. She quickly ran back to her seat with drool coming from her mouth.
The blonde turned to give you a nervous smile. "Um, (name), How about you try recruiting another time, seeing that we're in science right now?" She reasoned, pointing to a beaker full of bubbling chemicals.
You stuck your tongue out to Ymir and faced to smile at the girl, "I knew you would help me out Historia!" You proceeded to hug her, with Ymir's eye twitching at the sight. "THANK YOU SO MUCH!"
"(Name), please shut up."
Historia then let out a nervous chuckle, and looked around catching the faces of bothered classmates."Um, about that (n-"
"I KNOW RIGHT? I MEAN WE COULD MAKE OUR OWN CLUB AND ASK THE STUDENT COUNCIL TO ADVERTISE IT IN THE MORNING ANNOUNCEMENTS!" You jumped up and down earning a series of annoyed glances and remarks. Historia was trying to calm you down, until a voice interrupted you. "OR WE COU-"
"Not going to happen," An irritated voice stated flatly. All three of you looked to the left to see a familiar annoyed blond. Porco: Marcel's evil grinch brother as you would jokingly say. You then realized he was part of the student council.
"But Po-"
"No."
You squinted your eyes at him. Porko then shook his head, roll his eyes and continued to work with his lab partner. You looked down in defeat, then heard a muffled laugh behind you. Turning around you saw Reiner's red face trying his best not to burst out in tears; You deadpanned.
"I haven't seen him that irritated since I took his spot in varsity," He said careful enough not to let him hear, with his face turning serious. You raised an eyebrow in confusion, then eyed his tall tan partner gander off in the distance, totally inattentive of whats happening.
You shrugged and went back to work on your lab with Historia, giving you a weak smile.
Suddenly, you jerked your head up, causing Historia's eyes to widen. A plan. You came up with a plan that had an 100 percent chance of success. A plan that wouldn't come and bite you in the ass, an idea that would not and could not get your ass beat later on.
You smirked, with a mischievous atmosphere coming from you. "What're you smirking for?" Ymir asked, her eyebrows furrowed.
Eyeing in the direction that Bertolt was staring off at, you took sight of a small blonde with a hooked nose. The girl's face was enough to scare off cupid, with an unreadable expression and blue eyes that had a I-can-and-I-will-kick-your-sorry-ass, radiating from it. You winced, this was going to be a hard one. (But not impossible for anything is possible with the power of love. CRINGE)
"Bertolt, you should just go for it," Reiner said casually while laying back in his seat. Bertolt's face immediately flushed red.
About a minute ago he was just staring studying Annie's features from afar. He looked to his friend and waved his hands, trying to deny his assumption.
"I-its not like t-"
"You stare too much, enough that everyone can tell," The buff blond pointed to his eyes then back to Bertolt's with Ymir nodding in agreement.
"Its true," Ymir piped in with a smirk. She leaned into Bertolt's ear and whispered."Mr. Staretolt,"With this he was sweating profusely. He groaned in embarrassment and shame. What if Annie thought if him as a stalker? Or ended up hating him?
"-the USSR then to built the wall that would eventually..." You were currently in history class with Mr. Smith. A tall lanky bushy eyebrows man as your teacher.
"Just ask her out for the homecoming dance, I'm sure any girl would fall for your charms," said Reiner, causing Bertolt to timidly look down and think of all the downfalls. Poor boy. Always thinking negatively.
You were sleeping until you heard the conversation that part your interest. Now's my chance!
Ymir, Bertolt, Reiner and you shared assigned seats together. You forgot about your 'plan' for awhile. You slowly lift your head and saw Bertolt looked as if he was having a Vietnam flashback. You jolted from your seat causing Ymir to give you the most irritated glare.
"Reiner's right," You crossed your arms and gave confused Bertolt a hard look, you then looked over to where Annie was sitting, her face expressionless, with a typical resting bitch face."I'll give you some of my magic, if you give me five dollars."
The trio looked at you, like you had sacrificed three baby titans. Ymir shook her head, dismissing you and Reiner rolled his eyes. While Bertolt looked as if he was in thought but uncertain.
"Bertolt, don't tell me you're actually co-"
"I'll make a deal." You suggested, cutting off Ymir. You decided to make a bet. You were going to give each of them $40 if your plan fails (like all your success stories), or they were going to give you $50 if somehow your sacrifices actually sufficed, and got Bertolt and Annie together.
Ymir huffed, her smile stretching miles. Reiner's face was hesitant but he eventually gave in.
"Deal."
"(N-Name), its a-alright I d-"
"But I insist!" You promised Bertolt that you were going to help him with asking Annie out, despite him begging you not to do anything. The rest of the class was of Bertolt panicking and having secondhand thoughts. Reiner and Ymir had to physically drag his beanpole ass out of class. (hehe that rhymed)
You smiled to yourself. "I promise I won't mess up."
It was lunchtime and you headed outside to sit by a tree, alone like usual. Since most of your friends like book smart Marco, was probably talking to a teacher trying to raise his 99.9% grade to an 100%. Or doing stupid stunts like trying to catch a butterfly with a fidget spinner, you awed at Sasha and Connie. You took a deep breath and took out your phone.
You were in the midst of googling stupid crack-fan fictions, when you caught eye at a disinterested blond. It was Annie. She wore long ripped leggings with a couple of ear piercings. Her outfit looked of the typical angst y-rebel teenager with daddy issues. You laughed inwardly to yourself.
You've also heard weird stuff about her. Like how she kept a ring-blade and cut herself with it, how she likes sweets despite her grouchy appearance (Now you learned not to rely on Sasha for reliable facts), and how she could kick a grown man's ass. You dismissed all of it. You weren't quick to make judgement s, after all you've never seen her actually talk to you or others.
She was a lone-wolf, the unapproachable kind. You had no idea how you were going to execute your 'plan'. You felt the warm breeze of the summer air upon you, and reflected back to the earlier events.
This was it. With your head held up and your chest puffed out, you were walking your ass over to her. She was sitting at the school's bench presumably reading a book, before she looked up to you dully.
"Hi Annie!" You said almost too excitedly. You immediately regret it, upon seeing her dark eyes. She had her usual I-am-done-with-life look, and she didn't look as pleased to seeing you. Surprisingly her expression hasn't changed.
"Hi?" She said almost questioningly. You then stared at each other for a good 10 seconds; you saw that her big bad roman-nose was pierced. You seriously didn't want to be on her bad side. "What do you want?" Her voice disinterested and cold, you shuddered.
"S-so, do you have any plans for the homecoming dance?" You hesitantly asked. You were not going to give up. You're (Name) (Last Name), and you will prove that you're more than a strange delusional match-maker.
"No and I don't plan to go," She answered bluntly. You blinked at her words.
Okay. Maybe you're just a delusional weirdo. This was harder than you thought it would be. She probably heard about you:(Name), a weirdo that everyone should avoid. You should've listened to Marco. Poor Marco.
You then backed away as fast as you could leaving Annie in confusion, before she shrugged and went back to reading her book.
"Give me my $40," Ymir demanded, her hand stretched out.
You frowned at her words. "Ymir its only been a day and homecoming is still four days from now."
"Tch."
Right now you two were currently in gym class with Mr. Shadis, (*cough*) Satan(*cough*), playing the deadly game of dodge ball. Oh, how you loved getting socked in the face now and then, and seeing your teammates losing every fucking round. You frowned at Armin, seeing he got hit, along with several of your other teammates.
You stood in a deep trance. You had no idea how you were going to get the two together, a tall grasshopper and big bad nose girl. You snickered, until you were abruptly sent backwards by a force hitting your face.
"(NAME), OUT!"
Loud groans and cheers could be heard. You were on the ground, your ass aching in pain. You were sent back to the bench with the other losers. You sat and looked to the side to see Sasha munching on your an energy bar and Connie scolding her for losing.
"...like really Sasha? Eating noodles during a freaking dodge ball game!?"
And the school's lovey-dovey couple, Hannah and Franz intertwined in their love, cuddling about.
They gave you a cautious smile, then went back to their PDA. You nearly gagged. You then saw a pissed off Ymir coming your way, she sat 2 meters beside you and crossed her arms, stubbornly.
"We fucking lost the game," The brunette was then seen glaring at the winners. You pondered why she took this seriously,until you realized it was for a fucking grade.
Moments after, Eren, Mikasa and Bertolt who were part of the winning team came and sat down, waiting for dismissal. Eren and Mikasa sat with Armin, the green-eyed boy occasionally whispering random shit, careful enough so Mr. Shadis wouldn't hear.
"...I can't stand Mr. Shadis,"
Bertolt sat by himself, worked up by the labor. You pouted and huffed out of anger, considering your broke ass. You walked up and took the seat beside him, his face streaming rivers and he looked at you, uncertain of what to say.
"Bertolt," You said slowly,"There is no way in hell am I paying each one of you 40 fucking dollars, so you better put on your big boy panties and ask Annie the fuck out."
The boy's eyes widen at your sudden collision of words. "B-bu-" The bell rung and you got up quickly, not giving him a chance to finish. He dug his hands in his scalp and internally weeped.
He didn't ask for this cruelty. He didn't want your 'help' in the first place. You should've just stayed out of people's business, especially after the Hannah/Franz incident. Oh (Name) and your nosy tendencies. It looks like you have to find a job at McDonald's to pay off your shit. (Cringe)
Three days later, and you were still not making progress. You should've known better. You lumped back on the tree watching random memes on your phone. Annie was nowhere to be found and you doubt that Mr. Beanpole actually did anything.
"Ugh homecomings tomorrow," you complained to no one, holding the two homecoming tickets in your left hand and sighed. You didn't know where this was going, almost on the verge of giving up, you got up and went inside to get some french fries.
Reiner however, was fed up. He was constantly demanding that Bertolt ask Annie whenever she was around, which would result in Bertolt running away or cowering like a pug.
This time he was going to make him. He even ignored Ymir's pleads, he could care less about $40 over his companion's happiness. Hell, he was willing to bribe fucking Porko for tickets. He took a sip of his soda, glaring at his friend, waiting for him to finish his sandwich.
Bertolt noticed Reiner's strange behavior and began to worry. Was this about the Annie thing again? He didn't want to bring it up, in fear of Reiner's chastisement.
You stood in line for a minute before seeing the duo. You got your fries and sought an update on the situation. You headed towards them and slammed your bag on the table, causing Bertolt to nearly choke. The blond gave you a questioning look and you narrowed your eyes at Bertolt and pulled out the two tickets.
You forcefully handed it to him,"Here now you won't have an excuse to not asking her out. I had to beg fuck boy Porko last minute for the tickets."
His eyes widen and his jaw went slack. "W-wai-"
Reiner then motioned him off, as to show him someone. He nodded his head toward a particular individual, Annie. You looked in Reiner's direction to see her impassive face casually scrolling her phone, not giving a shit like usual.
Smirk. Smirk. Smirk
Bertolt's face went pale. He immediately packed his stuff and proceeded to leave only to be grabbed by Reiner. He forced Bertolt to make eye contact with the most dangerous expression.
"You're asking her out this fucking instant," Reiner ordered, Bertolt's eyes shocked at the profanity.
"Right here, right now?!"
"Yes right here, right now!" He gulped and caught the curious stares of the people around,"Oi Annie! Bertolt has something important he'd like ask you!" Annie looked up from her phone and raised an eyebrow.
She put her phone down and stalked over to the table with the same stoic expression. This girl had the darkest eye makeup on; Bertolt looked as if he just saw harambe come out the grave.
"Do you need anything?" She looked up at the taller male, with the same disinterested expression.
"U-um, Annie.." Bertolt's face went tomato red and she waited for an answer. "D-do you want to go to homecoming with me!" He asked too loudly, causing her to back up a little.
She looked up as in thought of the offer. You and Reiner were watching with attentive eyes, making Bertolt even more nervous; this better be worth it (Name).
"Sure."
"I knew you could do it Bertolt!"
You gave Ymir a side look and motioned your hand out, only for it to be harshly slapped. Looking in your palm you saw a used gum wrapper and a single dollar bill.
You ignored the insufficient amount for your head was full of pride and even more 'amazing' ideas. You glanced at your next victims pair. The whole morning consisted of you bragging to your friends about your success and people straying far away from you, even more than usual. You slumped back and lifted the corners of your mouth.
"The fuck are you smiling for?"
Homecoming was today and you decided it would be a fantastic thing to volunteer and advertise your 'service'. You got your flyers ready and contributed, even though the student council didn't need your help or your shitty ideas. Under normal circumstances, you would probably be eating pocky in your room, watching dank meme compilations, but today was special. You made sure to annoy your mother into getting a dress last minute. Now you just had to wait.
Bertolt was currently a mess. He looked at the two crumpled tickets and gulped,"So what're your plans Bertolt?" Reiner suddenly asked, causing the bean pole to look up from his hand.
He heated up and realized. What exactly was he suppose to do? Dance? With Annie? Confess his feelings? Oh hell no, it was all too embarrassing! He put down his head and silently screamed.
"I don't know..."
Ymir nudged in, "Just ask her out," you nodded in approval,but considering the fact that Bertolt had 0 experiences with girls, let alone Annie, he was already prepared for failure. But he had already made it this far. Its almost as if your 'magic' is working!
"I have an idea," Reiner suggested. "Find a time to be alone with her, and ask her to be your girlfriend." All three of you smirked.
Bertolt could see the world grow darker, as yellow spots clouded his visions. He then looked closer at the spots and realized they were mini Annie chibi's with a big nose in the middle, his heart pounded and Reiner could see his friend's eyes rolling to the back of his head. His body swayed backwards with his shin up in the air and went to a peaceful sleep.
"Oi! Bertolt, wake up!"
"What a weird sleeping position;I bet tomorrow its gonna rain!" Connie concluded. (You'll get this joke if you watched junior high.)
The time has come and you stood by the school's entrance with a stack of flyers in your hand. Instead of checking tickets you just handed out your flyers, causing confusion among the students. Most just tossed them on the floor and cringed after reading the contents. You laughed inwardly to yourself, the council members would be pissed.
"(Y/n), What're you doing?!" A voice hissed. "You're suppose to check tickets, NOT hand out your flyers!" Ilse Langer, a senior nerd from the council picked up a flyer, with her glasses flaring in anger, you exhaled.
"You should be thanking me," You reasoned, smiling as you saw Bertolt being dragged in by Reiner, his feet feeling the fire from the friction of the shiny floor. Annoyed, Ilse dismissed you leaving you off duty.
Your hair stuck to your greasy forehead and you paced to the front door, motioning the duo to follow you. The whole school was dark and except for the gym where the dance was, walking in you met up with Ymir and Historia. The blonde's beautiful ivory lace dress glimpsed in the dim light with Ymir admiring the sight, "Hey Guys!"
Upon seeing Historia's godlike appearance, Reiner felt the blood coming down his nostrils and suddenly felt himself being shy, "Y-you look pretty His-" Ymir pushed Reiner away not giving him a chance to finish.
"Historia, you look so pretty!" Reiner scowled at Ymir with his face twitching in jealously, looking at this you finally realized. Ymir and Historia?! A couple!? You only wished you were the one to pair them up.
"Thank you Ymir!" She beamed at Ymir, only for it to fade seeing Bertolt's panicked expression. "Bertolt, whats wrong? Are you alright?"
In front of Bertolt, was a blonde girl just slightly taller than Historia. She wore a small white mini-dress, totally different from her normal attire. Its Annie!
"O-oh, hello Annie," Bertolt greeted shyly. Ymir and Reiner, seeing this immediately walked closer to Bertolt. He could feel himself drowning in sweat wearing his borrowed suit.
Ymir and Reiner nudged his back and whispered in unison, "Compliment her."
Annie's impassive face made Bertolt even more nervous than usual. He couldn't help the blush rising to his cheeks, as he saw her intense blue eyes and the way her white dress clamped perfectly to her body. W-what the hell am I thinking?!
Eventually all four of you decided to go to the courtyard and gave the two some time to be 'alone'. (You and Reiner were watching them). Ymir and Historia went back inside. You guys could hear the trap music blasting from inside the school. Bertolt was a nervous wreck, he and Annie were outside sitting in the bench. They sat for about ten minutes not doing a thing.
"Come on Bertolt, just do it fam!"
"Shut up Reiner!" you whispered harshly, almost causing the two to look behind. Currently you two were hiding in an alley, trying to see if your plan fully succeeded.
Your jaw dropped at the sight in front of you. Bertolt nervously held Annie's hands, holding it closer and gulped. The girl had a soft curious expression. "U-um Annie..." He stammered.
"Bertolt, why are you holding my hands?"
"I-I have s-something I'd like to conf-" The sound of a person violently coughing immediately interrupted him. The two turned around, seeing a sick Reiner holding his stomach, with your mouth awestruck in horror. My fucking plan! Ruined!
"Reiner! Are you alright?" Bertolt asked, and confused seeing him here.
"Annie, Can't you be a little less scary? I mean with that expression..." Reiner immediately stopped talking dead in his tracks and you could feel yourself sinking more into the portal of failure.
Annie realizing the shenanigan,furrowed her eyebrows, walked toward Reiner with the most terrifying glare, proceeded to kick him causing him to land upside down on his back, with his legs over his head. This was the moment your emotions started running. This was like the Hannah Franz incident all over again except you had a female squidward ninja who could literally kick your ass. Her face turned back to her normal expression, except slightly irritated.
Bertolt however, was doing just fine. Actually no. Think of the most humiliating moment of your life and multiply it buy a thousand infinite sweating Bertolts, and there you have it. His mental state. He rushed over to Reiner, and looking around he could see Annie was gone.
You went back inside, mentally cursing at Reiner for ruining your plan. You could see Sasha with a whole bag of potato chips in her hands, while seeing Connie trying to grab a piece, near the snack counter. You hadn't realized just how hot the gym really was, while you walked over at Sasha.
"Woah, (Name). You alright?" Connie asked. Sasha's instinct told her something was wrong and thought maybe it had something to do with your match making shit; she handed you a small piece of potato chip with a look of concern on her face, like she always did whenever you failed. You took the whole bag from her and stuffed your face in it and sobbed.
"Nico. Nico. Need to kill myself," You smiled in agony with potato crumbs sticking to your sweaty face. Connie grimaced, seeing your state of being.
Oh (Name)! Maybe it'll work next time? You should've have known that this would fail, except you had actual hope! Only if it weren't for Reiner choking on his piece of gum! It was like a repeated cycle. First you found your pair, then you tried to get them to interact and third of all, just have them end up happily ever after! Like in Romeo And Juliet, plus minus the part where they kill themselves, but still! For a long period of time you hadn't tried pairing anyone up. Until, you saw them...
