She fixes her hair and looks into a pocket mirror just before her meal arrives. Simple pleasures that she does not take for granted. Not anymore.
The woman looks up at the waiter. She recognizes him, as she is a frequent customer at the diner.
He watches her carefully, as if he can discover more to her by just glancing her way. He sets her plate before her and backs away slowly, only stopping to say, "It's a pretty large meal, are you sure you can eat all of it?"
The woman nods, and takes a bite of her meal. It's a hamburger with fries. The man notices that she didn't follow his recommendation of ordering a cheeseburger. People generally listen to him. He knows he shouldn't take it personally but it does kind of hurt.
He must be still watching her as he runs the cash register, as his manager calls out, "Alfred! Are you in love or something? You've been staring at that girl for a while. Staring will scare the customers away, you know. Also, there's a girl to the right wants another soda, if you haven't noticed."
Alfred isn't in love, though. He's just curious to find out about the woman. She wears her sleeves long, though summer is right around the corner. Her accent is thick; he figures she immigrated not too long ago.
They've spoken several times, but all Al's been able to find out is her name. Erzsébet Hedervary. He has trouble with pronouncing her name, so he calls her Elizabeth instead. Alfred feels the need to know her, why she's here and why she doesn't talk to anyone.
Though he isn't in love, he did make the incredibly bad decision to ask her out on a date.
"See a movie or something," he had said. He only wanted to make Erzsi feel more welcome to New York.
Her face went pale. "No." She answered plainly. "No thank you."
"Oh. Okay." Al said.
Erzsi doesn't want to be with anyone but Roderich, her husband. Her husband-to-be.
But they will never get married. Roderich is dead, just like the rest of her family. The two of them dreamed of America, of moving to New York for so long, she once felt like they would be able to make it a reality.
Roderich would become a professional pianist and she would become a singer.
She's the only one who can achieve their dream, now. At this moment, though, she has to put her singing career on hold. She's in need of a day job and is going to apply the diner. She goes up to talk to Al.
"I'm not really the one you should be talking about for applications," he says, "But I can bring you to the manager."
"Okay," she says, and Alfred brings her to the manager.
Mr. Kirkland is a shot blond man with thick eyebrows and an irritable temper, whom happens to be the manager of the diner.
"We're hiring, aren't we, Arthur?" Al asks.
"In the workplace you are to call me Mr. Kirkland," he reminds Alfred.
"I'm sorry. I keep forgetting," says Al with his know-it-all smile.
Mr. Kirkland is in need of employees. He doesn't have the time for her to do a proper work application. He has Erzsi sit in a chair and answer questions, how long she's been in America, where she was from, what her job was before. She keeps her answers short and vague, a little too vague for Mr. Kirkland.
But Mr. Kirkland needs employees other than that blockheaded Alfred Jones. He tells her she got the job.
"Thank you Mr. Kirkland," she says.
"No problem," he says. He then looks at Alfred and smirks. "And please, call me Arthur."
Before she leaves, Erzsébet buys Feliciano spaghetti Bolognese. Feli loves the food from the diner but finds the environment overwhelming. It's much safer for him to go to a quiet café.
Feliciano is the young man that stays with Erzsi. Erzsébet is actually somewhat of a caretaker for him, as he is unable to manage on his own. She doesn't know much about him except that he rocks in the corner sometimes and he lack social skills. She knows there's something a little off about him but she doesn't ask. It might hurt his feelings. And when he cries, there's nothing, nothing she can do to help. There are some days when he has full-blown meltdowns.
Today is one of those days.
Erzsébet takes the elevator to their apartment though they only live on the second floor. It'll take too long otherwise. Either way, both the stairwell and the elevator reek of cigarette smoke, a smell Erzsi likes. Roderich smoked for a while before the war and she'd gotten used to the smell when she visited his house.
A bell dings; informing her it's her stop. She draws in a deep breath and slowly exhales as she leaves the elevator.
Some man is next to her door. It's her next door neighbor, Mr. Zwingli. He seems rather irritated. "Someone's screaming bloody murder in your apartment. Don't tell me you're still babysitting that idiot man." He says in his Swiss German.
Oh no. "Excuse me, jackass. Don't you dare call him an idiot! Look, I need to check him myself." She retorts.
She opens her door to find Feli in a terrifying state: crying, screaming, and banging his head on the floor. She's seen this happen before, but still doesn't know how to help him. She grips her face, cursing in Hungarian. Feliciano is, in general, a lovely man to room with but today she just can't handle him having a meltdown.
Instead of trying to comfort him, she slams the container of spaghetti Bolognese onto their kitchen table and goes to her room. She just can't take it. Any of it. This is too much stress on her, too much change, too much of a new language that she struggles to speak.
She closes her door and cries. She wants her family back, she needs Roderich. Erzsébet Hedervary feels like her new life is just a poor substitute for her old one.
It has its perks, but she's nowhere near as happy as she pictured herself in New York.
Maybe it's because I'm not with Roderich. She thinks. She sits on her floor crying for several minutes until she considers herself ready to help Feli.
Feli seems to be much better. He isn't crying as hard anymore and his words are legible.
"Lovino! I just want Lovino!" he sobs.
She thinks that might be his brother.
"Are you okay?" she asks in the little Italian she knows.
"I want Lovino back," he cries.
"I know dear. I understand completely," she says. Feliciano stares at her in his odd manner, averting his eyes just slightly so they do not make eye contact.
"But Lovino wasn't your brother. How come you understand?" he asks.
"I lost someone, too."
"I didn't lose him, Erzsébet, he was killed." Feliciano has trouble with figures of speech.
Erzsébet holds Feli close and begins to tell him a story: the story of how she met Rod, and how they were torn apart. She thinks to herself, if Roderich were here, he'd be proud that I'm telling our story.
The two of them met at a coffee shop at Music Night, a night where all the local musicians, amateur and professional alike could get together and play in front of an audience. There was a piano in the corner which was played occasionally, but no one had ever done that poor piano justice.
At least, that's what Roderich would say whenever they told each other their story.
Roderich hadn't ever come to the Music Night for he was busy working. Working and practicing his piano skills. He wouldn't go until he was positive he'd be the best performer of the night.
And that he was. Erzsébet was immediately captivated by his piano playing, and began to sing along. After several encores, Erzsi went up to Rod and complimented him on his playing. She then asked if he would like to join her where she was sitting. He said yes and asked to buy her a coffee.
Thus their relationship began. They began to visit each other often and went on dates. After the first month they had their first kiss. After three months they introduced each other to their parents and started a tradition of going over to the other's house for Shabbat dinner. At six months their relationship became more serious, more intimate.
As their first year drew to a close, Roderich proposed. Erzsébet said yes wholeheartedly.
Just as they began to plan the rest of their life together, everything changed.
It was a slow but noticeable change. Not being allowed at certain stores, being fired from a job, all because they were Jewish.
The two of them and their families had to go into hiding so they wouldn't get killed. They stayed with a sweet Belgian girl and her brother who were nice enough risk their lives for them.
It lasted for six months until they were discovered.
She leaves out much detail on that part. It's too painful to talk, even think about.
Erzsébet continues the story, leaving it fast and vague.
They were immediately dragged off into a living hell known as a concentration camp.
And she hasn't seen Roderich since.
She hasn't told her story to anyone else in America, and she's not even sure if Feliciano was even fully listening, but feels nice for her to not have it bottled up inside her anymore.
She holds Feliciano just a little longer, making sure he's completely calmed down. He's asleep now. she gently nudges him awake and leads him to his bed.
At around ten Erzsébet decides to go to sleep, too. She washes up and gets into her nightclothes. She says a small prayer and then climbs into her bed.
She closes her eyes and wonders if she'll ever be truly happy again.