Author Note Thingummy: Hi! So, um...this is my second fanfiction story. It's my (pathetic) attempt at angst. Please review and tell me how terrible, horrible, or maybe even...fantastic it was? Thank you!

(Line break that I don't know how to do)

To whoever is reading this,

I'm not perfect. Life's not perfect. I get it. But I want somebody to tell me that it will be okay, that I'll be fine. That's what I tell everyone: "I'm fine". But I'm not! My world is spinning too fast, and I can't take it anymore. I'm done. I give up. Death seems to be the only way out, but I'm scared. I'm scared that I'll fail, that I'll live. I don't want to anymore. I want to die. I feel mentally sick. I'm trapped in my head, and it's torture. Nobody seems to love me. I want help. I'm screaming inside, hoping somebody will hear me. Nobody does. I want out of here.

I don't think anyone would actually miss me if I died. I really don't. But I'm scared to die. What would Percy think? Would he or Annabeth even care? And what about Thalia, would she care? She hasn't talked to me since we saved Olympus four years ago. She acts like I don't exist. Oh gods, what about my father? He would kill me! I'll already be dead of course, so that might complicate things for him a bit. Then again, he IS the god of the Underworld... Anyways, I've tried talking to him, but he seemed so distant, like he honestly couldn't care less about me.

That's why I want to die, because nobody cares about me. Percy and Annabeth have their perfect lives to live, why would they want anything to do with my messed up one? Sure, they were really nice after we saved Olympus, but now? All they care about is each other. They don't care about me. Father ignores me. Thalia hates me. Why does she hate me? Because I was foolish enough to fall in love with a Huntress and tell her so. She swore never to fall in love. I nearly made her break that promise. That's why she hates me.

If I died, I would get to see Bianca again too. I miss her so much. When Percy told me that she was dead, it was like a part of me died too. Or like having your heart ripped out, messed with, then stitched back into your chest. Painful. I couldn't breathe. But now I can, and I hate it. Father tells me all the time that he wishes that she had lived, and I had died instead. It hurts. It's painful knowing that your own father loves your dead sister more than he will ever love you. For a while, I believed that he was just upset about her death, and he didn't mean it. I was wrong. He meant every word he said. Every time he told me I was worthless, he meant it. Every time he told me that he wishes that I had never been born, he meant it. Every time he ignored me...he meant it.

I give up. Who was I kidding when I told myself that anyone would actually care about me? I was kidding me. No, that doesn't make sense, but I honestly don't care. Why should I? Nobody cares about me. I know, you are probably thinking, "Oh look at the poor emo wannabe son of Hades! He has everything! He's a son of a god! He gets to go on quests and save the world! What is he complaining about?" Well, I'm sorry to say that the life of a demigod isn't all quests and awards. No, it's running for your life, with only your sword and instincts to help you. It's praying to a god who never answers. It's training for years and years, but never getting to go on a quest. It's not training at all and being sent on a quest, a glorified death sentence. It's hell on earth. It's my life. Cheerful, right? Welcome to my world. My world of pain, endless crushing pain.

Goodbye life. You sucked.

Sincerely,

Nico di Angelo