Regina shifts uncomfortably in her grey silk dress. It clings to her too tightly, suffocating her, but perhaps the weight of the situation is. She shifts again and runs her palms down her thighs nervously. It also helps dry her sweaty palms.
She probably has no right to be so downtrodden, not when she had the chance to tell Emma how she truly felt about the engagement and soon to be marriage, but it felt like a betrayal. Regina refuses to believe that her blonde friend was blind to her flirting and hints so, to her, it was a clear rejection.
"Mom? Hook's at the alter already. You should probably get up there." Agreeing to marry the two was a moment of insanity, but Regina hadn't had the heart to back out, not when Emma had smiled so wide and so brightly and told her that it would mean the world to have Regina next to her as she started a new chapter in her happy ending. Regina wasn't sure how the bile stayed down.
She makes her way to the alter numbly, ignoring the pitying looks Snow and Charming send her way. How the two idiots figured it all out before Emma, Regina would never know. The buffoon, who deserved to walk the plank, not marry Emma Swan, is standing at the front of the Church in his suit. He looks dashing, she loathed to admit. His looks were never the issue. His misogyny and chauvinism, however, made Regina want to throttle him, especially when it made Emma show up at her door during the late hours of the night, crying because of a fight. The fights became more physical as time went on. One night it was a bottle thrown at a mirror, the next it was a punch to the wall, then a little shove at Emma. While the entire situation and events were troubling, the escalation was cause for intense worry. Regina couldn't help but imagine the horrid things that would come next. Men like Hook, like Leopold, never changed after all.
A hush falls over the room right before the organist begins to play. Each beat feels like a punch to the gut.
"How does it feel, Your Majesty?" She hears whispered into her ear menacingly as a sharp hook pokes her lower back, out of view to the audience. Hook's strong cologne assaults her senses as he leans in closer, the hook digging in more forcefully and making Regina flinch slightly. He's quiet for a moment as the organist continues to play, the stench of alcohol strong on his breath, then he hisses under his breath, "She chose me. I have my happy ending, I took it, and you're about to watch me win."
Regina's growls under her breath and her fingers tingle, but she closes her eyes and breathes, attempting to let the anger go. The hook digging into her back twists then disappears completely, leaving a residual pain that pulsates through her body. Snow watches her, concern shining in her eyes, but Regina stares at the church doors, terrified to see Emma walk down that aisle, no matter how beautiful she'd look doing so.
The organist continues to play, the audience continues to stare at the beginning of the aisle, but Emma never comes. Hope surges through Regina, but she quickly tampers the feeling down because Emma is probably upset and all alone. She looks at Snow, who subtlety tilts her head toward the front of the church, silently urging her to go to Emma.
She takes one step forward when an arm wraps around her back, a hard body against her side, and a hook tickles her side in an almost threatening manner. She can see him out of the corner of her eye. He's smiling falsely for the crowd as he whispers, "She's my true love. I'll handle it."
He walks down the aisle swiftly, his shoulders stiff and his fists clenched, and Regina feels dread settle into the pit of her stomach as she watches him. Snow comes running toward her with wide eyes and a frantic tightness to her eyebrows and lips. She leans in so that the the rest of the guests can't see and pleads, "Go help her."
When she reaches the lobby of the church, she can hear Hook's angry hushed tones emanating from the left room, where Emma spent the hour before the ceremony loitering around and staring at herself in the mirror, looking fairly unhappy for a woman about to start a life with her so-called happy ending.
When she quietly enters the room, Hook has his hand raised, the sharp instrument attached pointed straight at Emma, and Regina's instincts kick in immediately, sending the bastard flying across the room and into a mirror that shatters on impact.
"That's bad luck." Emma whispers, stunned. With a wave of her hand, the two women appear in Regina's bedroom. Before Emma can even blink, Regina is leaning over her and has her warm hands hovering over Emma's arms, her brown eyes asking the question her mouth doesn't want to voice in fear of the answer.
"He didn't get to... to hurt me." Emma stutters disbelievingly. Though she had started to fear her fiancé, she never expected him to truly hurt her physically. His words cut sharper than any weapon anyway.
Regina sighs then drops her hovering hands onto Emma's biceps to squeeze reassuringly. "Emma, are you okay?" At Emma's confusion, Regina elaborates. "This situation is quite difficult. I know he didn't lay a hand-or hook-on you, but it can still leave a mark. So, how are you feeling?"
Emma usually shrugs off loaded questions, mostly because she still hasn't learned how to deal with emotions very well, but this time she finds the words easily. "I feel... relieved."
"Relieved?" Regina repeats as she sits on the bed, next to the blonde, who immediately links their pinkies.
"Yeah, I used to feel trapped with him, like I had to put my all into it for the fact that he wanted me and I wanted to be what everyone wanted, to have a fairytale happy ending. He and I always felt so hard, and I know relationships aren't easy but they shouldn't be that hard either, you know?" Emma's finger slips behind Regina's pinky and the rest of the digits curl around the olive skin to hold onto Regina's hand softly. "But now I have a real reason to let it go."
"Emma, the sole fact that you were unhappy would've been enough." Regina whispers, her voice small in the silence.
"For you, maybe." Regina trembles inside, because Emma puts so much stake into what others think of her that she'd allow herself to be mistreated. The small warmth that comes from knowing Emma sees her love as unconditional doesn't stop Regina's teeth from grinding.
"You deserve to be happy." Regina blurts then purses her lips. She was never the overt one, really. Her love was subtle and came in actions and in her eyes, where she sometimes let the adoration for the goofy blonde slip through, but hardly in words. She wasn't someone that made grand proclamations and, while it didn't seem like much, the sentence she uttered was a touchy subject for them.
Emma stares at Regina's throat, her gaze stagnant and empty as she exhales through her nose. "You think so?"
The soft, unsure whisper makes Regina's heart drop to her feet. So she lines her response with steely determination, because Emma had to know how good she was. "You deserve it more than anyone." Regina pauses, expecting a rebuttal but Emma stays quiet. "You've always had our backs, all of ours, and dammit, Emma, you deserve someone behind you to watch yours. You deserve to fall asleep with a smile on your lips."
"So do you." Emma says bluntly. Regina's happy ending is still an obsession to the Savior and Regina wants to shake her.
"I already have it, Emma." Regina squeezes the hand curled around her own and stares at the emerald gaze peeking at her. "Henry and I see each other every day, our relationship stronger than ever. Your parents don't want to burn me at the stake. Hell, I'd even say that we love each other. And I have you."
"Me?" Emma's shy question reminds Regina of all the times Emma wasn't chosen or included and her chest pulsates at the thought that maybe she can help put a piece of Emma's heart back together again.
"Of course." Regina hesitates for a moment then turns to face Emma fully, tucking her leg under her body, which makes her dress shift up her thigh. Emma notices immediately but looks away with a blush. It boosts Regina's confidence. "You believed in me when no one else did. You've put me first and saved me countless times. And while all of that is important, the fact that you're Emma Swan, a woman who drives a rust bucket and eats like a child and has enough strength and hope to weather any storm... that's what makes you so grand. Emma, you matter to me, more than you can ever know."
Emma's eyes shine in the dark room, so brightly that Regina swears her bedroom feels lighter. "You really mean that." It's a statement. The human lie detector announcing results. Emma smiles. For the first time in months, it's reaches her eyes.
Regina flits her gaze from those emotional eyes to plump, pink-stained lips to prominent cheek bones. She's staring at the dimple next to Emma's shy grin when she hears, "You have me in more ways than you think, Regina."
Then they're kissing, just a shy slight press of the lips, like Emma was afraid Regina would disappear if she pushed too hard. Regina grabs Emma's free hand that has been drifting in mid-air, uncertain where to land, and pulls it to her chest, between her breasts. She folds her fingers to make Emma's hand flat, wanting her to feel just how fast she makes Regina's heart race.
Regina is the one to pull away, eager for some kind of declaration that this really happened and what it meant if it wasn't just a figment of Regina's love-addled imagination. Emma tries to reconnect their lips but Regina leans forward to wrap her arms around the blonde. Emma's still wearing her wedding dress. It makes her chest tighten.
"Emma?" That's all she's got, really. She's speechless... and boneless but that's probably from the electric current that zipped down to her toes when Emma had nipped her bottom lip.
Emma kisses her neck and presses her fingertips into Regina's back. "I knew what my happy ending really was. I was just scared to grab it." Emma pulls back, looks at her, and smiles that goofy smile that makes Regina pine like the fool she is. "I'm not scared now, Regina."
"I can see that." Regina replies as she swallows a fond chuckle.
"So... will you?" Emma asks.
"Will I what, darling?"
"Have me in more ways than one?" It could've been romantic if Emma didn't wiggle her eyebrows suggestively but she wouldn't have it any other way. So Regina just laughs, lightly and freely, until Emma raises a brow.
To soothe the trepidation she sees in Emma, Regina blurts, "Yes, Emma, of course I want you."
"Yeah, I know, Regina. You're not subtle, at least not for a while now." Emma states seriously, though the twinkle of mischief in her eyes gives her away before she opens her mouth again. "What I meant was if you wanted to have me? You know, have me?"
Regina jumps when the innuendo finally dawns on her and she's sure her cheeks are pink, but she's a queen and refined so she tries to smirk seductively. It fails but Emma seems entranced so it doesn't matter. She sighs as she answers with, "I don't think that's a good idea."
"Why-"
Regina cuts her off with a loving peck to the cheek. She keeps her lips against the sun kissed skin and whispers, "You just ran out on your own wedding, darling. Snow probably sent out a search party already."
"Yeah." Emma's smile wobbles with uncertainty. "But we will, right? You want to?"
It's no longer an innuendo or about anything physical. It's from years of not being chosen and not being cared for or loved. So Regina cups Emma's jaw and makes her intentions clear. "I want to be with you, in every way possible. Believe me when I say that. I have... very deep feelings for you, Emma. I have for a long time."
"Yeah," Emma's smile solidifies. It's strong and filled with joy. "Sounds good to me." Then Emma slides a hand onto Regina's knee and squeezes. Her eyes darken slightly. "But are you sure you don't want to- I could call my parents and tell them I need a few hours to think."
Regina feels her resolve disintegrate. If she and Emma wanted it, it doesn't truly matter that Emma was a runaway bride, especially if this day was years in the making. However, there's one thing Regina needs before she can moved forward.
"I don't want to be the other woman for a second time in my life."
"I don't know if you've noticed, Regina, but that relationship is very much dead." Emma says. Her lithe fingers pull at a intricate bead on her dress. It just serves as another reminder that Hook is probably somewhere, nursing cuts from glass and, most likely, a bottom of rum.
"You know that but does he?"
"What do you think I was telling him that made him raise his hook at me?" Emma hisses, not from anger necessarily but the day made weariness settle in her bones. "I told him that I couldn't marry him and couldn't be with him anymore. He thought I was cheating, wouldn't believe me when I said I wasn't, but he was right when he said my heart wasn't with him, that it was with someone else."
Regina's heart palpitates when Emma peers at her from under her lashes. The question Regina wants to ask is clear in her eyes. The bead Emma had been toying with snaps off and Emma rolls it between her fingers as she answers the unspoken question. "Yeah, my heart is somewhere else. It's with Henry and my parents and you. You've had it for a while, to be honest, but it's just..."
"You were scared."
"You have no idea just how terrified I was to go for it and be rejected or to not be rejected then face everyone because I didn't know what fairytale land thought about lady loving." Emma exhales deeply and Regina reaches down to lovingly pat the hand on her thigh.
"I think I have an idea." Regina grins. "Well, except for the last part. The Enchanted Forest wasn't a beacon of progressive culture but same sex relationships did occur. There were no laws against them and everyone didn't seem to mind. I had a female lover during my reign." An image of Regina and Mal instantly appeared in Emma's mind and she quickly shook it off. "But I did worry about how everyone would react. Perhaps they'd think this is some grand scheme to punish Snow White or that I put you under some spell."
"Love can't be created through magic." Emma whispers and Regina smiles. So the blonde did actually pay attention during her magic lessons.
"No, it can't, but the rabble in town aren't well versed in the rules of magic. Though those rules have certainly been bent and broken over the years." Regina says as she thinks of Hook entering Granny's decidedly not dead like they had last seen him in the Underworld.
"It'll be okay, though, because we'll be together." Emma smiles as she says it, like the cheesy dope she is, and Regina nods with a grin, like the lovesick fool she most definitely is.
"You sound like a Hallmark card." Regina tries to sound snarky but it comes out jumbled and muddled by emotion. It makes the blonde laugh, though, so maybe that's all right.
A few minutes roll by in silence as the women enjoy the peaceful atmosphere. Usually they're fighting an antagonist or fighting inner demons but the moment is unburdened and they want to drown in its levity. Emma eventually borrows Regina's cellphone and, after finding her mom under Regina's favorites, calls to inform her family that she's alright and that the wedding is indeed off. She asks them to give her the rest of the day to think and unwind. She tells them she's fine, truly for once, and pleads for them to cancel all of the wedding plans and return the bridesmaids dresses. They agree to it all without hesitation and Emma feels warmth in her heart at their loyalty and care.
Regina basically pushes a pajama set into her hands, a set Regina had bought and stored in the guest room just for Emma, and tells her to change out of "that god awful dress". It really is awful, Emma thinks as she stares at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. It's frilly and poofy and lacy and completely not Emma's style at all. Though Emma's attempt to appease Hook, to be the doting girlfriend he wanted, left her wardrobe resembling Snow's. She became someone else entirely. All for a man. She could retch. First thing she's doing tomorrow is pulling out her leather jackets, jeans, and tank tops, because her next partner seems to like her authentic self anyway.
But for now, Emma rips off the white dress without an ounce of care. She hears a tear partway through but keeps pulling until the fabric pools at her feet. She fingers the flannel pajama set Regina had handed her with indecision.
"Emma?" She hears through the door. If she's looking for a sign, that's definitely it. So she leaves the clothes on the counter and the dress on the floor, and saunters to the door. When Regina sees her, the air becomes stilted with tension. She shuffles nervously as Regina's eyes linger on the red lingerie Ruby had gotten her for the wedding night. Looks like the wedding night suddenly became a steamy early afternoon, except this would be with the right person.
"D-Did the clothes not fit?" Regina stumbles over her words and an amused smile slides onto Emma's lips. Regina usually is every bit a queen, composed and regal, but to know that she made the brunette stutter and fumble sort of strokes Emma's ego.
"I don't know. I didn't try them on." Emma says, measured and unabashedly flirtatious. Regina's cheeks turn a beautiful shade of pink at the revelation as she attempts to keep her gaze above the collarbone. "You can look. I want you to. That was kind of the whole point."
"Emma." Regina sighs. It's soft and loving, and Emma's stays rooted, unsure whether the tone means she should close the distance or put on the flannel pajamas. Regina makes the decision for her when she presses her clothed body against Emma's. The silk of Regina's pajamas feels sinful against her bare tummy and thighs.
Regina cradles Emma's cheeks with her hands then slides them back to bury her fingers in blonde waves. The hairdresser that morning had created an updo using an inordinate amount of bobby pins. Pulling them out had left her hair disheveled, more wavy than she can remember. Hook had said he preferred her hair straightened so she'd complied. Regina had commented a few times that she missed Emma's wild waves and curls. She'd told her that it fit Emma to a tee. Just another aspect of her life that she let a man change. Although, in Regina's arms, she found she couldn't care less, not when Regina was wrapping a curl around her finger and smiling at it with a certain nostalgia.
"You look beautiful, Emma." The curl is tugged playfully then softly tossed back to expose a lean neck.
As Regina licks a line from Emma's collarbone to right under her left ear, Emma manages a shaky, "You're the beautiful one."
Her pulse point gets a hearty suck then she feels a whisper float over her ear, making her shiver. "Agree to disagree, darling."
Regina's hands disentangle from blonde hair and find their way to Emma's bony hip. Had she always been that thin? No, Regina decides. Emma had been muscular, strong, but lately she's become bony and downright skeletal. Regina definitely needs to feed Emma and, perhaps, set the pirate on fire while she's at it. Her thumbs dip into the indentations left by jutting hip bones on each side.
"Today has been so hectic." Regina says, more so to herself than to Emma. Though the blonde is listening intently and nods in agreement, even if she's unsure where Regina is heading with this topic. She's just hoping it's leading them to bed. "I'm a bit tired."
For sex. She wanted to go to bed to have sex, not to sleep, but she takes a good look at Regina and sees weariness. She sees bags under her eyes that were mostly hidden by layers of makeup. She sees a slight droop in Regina's eyelid, one the brunette tries to combat by blinking rapidly but fails tremendously. She sees the sag of Regina's shoulders. So instead of acting on the desire in her belly and the desire in Regina's eyes, Emma takes Regina's hand and leads her to the bed.
"Let's sleep." Emma states firmly. Regina looks ready to protest, her brown eyes darting down to the damp spot on Emma's panties. The blonde smiles at her placatingly and says, "We have all the time in the world to take this further, but you look exhausted and I'm feeling a bit run down too. So we'll sleep and cuddle a lot, and maybe later we can release that sexual tension that's been bottled up for years. Okay?"
Regina's eyes slip close as she nods sleepily. Emma scoots until they're flush against each other in the middle of the bed and lays one arm over Regina's fleshy waist while the other cushions Regina's head, her palm flat against Regina's back. Their foreheads touch with each breath.
Emma watches Regina for a few minutes, mesmerized by how the sunlight peeking through the windows highlights the scar on Regina's upper lip. She finds out that Regina snores, though she does so cutely. It's more like loud exhales with an occasional fluttering of her nose, but Emma can't stop smiling when it happens. Soon, though, she finds her own eyes closing as she burrows into the warmth of Regina's body and is soothed by the glow of the sun barely peeking through the blinds.
She wakes up later to a slightly darker room, with the sun beginning to set. The clock on the nightstand clues her in to the fact that they'd slept several hours. Regina is still asleep but seemingly on the cusp of awaking. The brunette groans groggily under her breath and curls her body inward.
"Regina, you awake?"
"No." Regina's mumbles, her lips presses to Emma's chin.
"You snore." It gets the exact reaction she was hoping for. Regina shoots up, supported by her elbows, eyes wide open, and glares at her in a way that makes her feel nostalgic.
"That's defamation, Miss Swan." Regina tilts forward, the glare melts into an amused smirk as Emma's grin turn absolutely joyous at the banter.
"You can try to sue me, Mayor, but I can easily prove my case. I'll just take video next time." Emma says. Regina thinks about retorting with a sarcastic comment about not allowing Emma in her bed again but realizes it may hurt the other woman, so she refrains.
"I suppose if you keep this a little secret between us then it's fine." She says instead, softly and with enough affection to make her vulnerable.
"I don't know." Emma sighs dramatically, humorously, "Maybe my mouth needs a distraction."
Regina hesitates for only a moment then rises to kiss Emma with the passion she'd been holding in for years. At first, it's a hard press of their lips but Emma takes initiative and flicks her tongue against Regina's lower lip. The brunette's mouth opens and their tongues caress for a moment before Regina pulls back with a nip to Emma's fleshy lip. Her lips travel over a strong jawline. Emma's skin feels like it's crackling with each touch and she needs more. She's been waiting for so long to be closer to Regina, craving any touch she could get. She savored the short elbow grabs and shoulder squeezes, but never imagined she'd be able to feel this, to feel Regina's lips against her skin, Regina's breasts pressing against her own, Regina's skin lighting a fire under her own when they moved together.
"Where'd you go?" Regina asks as she pauses, leaving her lips against the corner of Emma's mouth.
Emma sighs, "Nowhere, honest. I'm just glad we got here."
"As am I, darling." Regina hesitates then adds, "I worried for a while that perhaps I read all of the signals wrong, that maybe I wasn't what you wanted, but I can't express how ecstatic I am that I was right, as per usual."
Emma scoffs, her smile tinged with amusement. "Smart ass." She waits until Regina's chuckle dies down then reaches up to frame Regina's face with her palms. "You are what I wanted and what I want. You were right."
"Good." Regina says seriously, her eyes glistening with the weight of the moment. She's lying in bed, kissing Emma Swan, and she's not dreaming or fantasizing. It's real, which makes it all the more frightening, yet she feels weightless, like everything she's ever gone through has prepared her for Emma.
While she still had her doubts about moving into such intimate waters, Regina tries to appear confident as she leans in to capture Emma's lips in a passionate kiss. It deepens, their body's moving in a perfect rhythm. They were always so complimentary, yin and yang, and it was no surprise that it extended into their intimacy. When Emma nips, Regina sucks to soothe them both. When Regina's hands cup Emma's breast, Emma allows her hands to squeeze the ass she's been worshipping for years. When one moans, the other groans. The air becomes sparked with the energy. Perhaps it's magic, in more ways than one.
"Take it all off." Regina demands, her voice deep and raspy, like she's gone days without water, without something life sustaining. Maybe Emma was like that for her, if perhaps less extreme.
She'd been living in darkness for so long that she'd forgotten what it was like to have the sun warm her face. She got a rays of it when Henry was placed in her arms the first time, when she soothed him for the first time, after he took his first steps, when he came home from his first day at school and cried because he missed her. She'd slipped into the dark again when he started to distance himself. That hurt more than anything, to have felt the sun only to have it taken away, but she slowly collected sun rays with every apology she gave and forgiveness she received. But with Emma, here in her arms, she feels like it's noon and she's looking skyward. She feels that overwhelming warmth and comfort, because she has Henry, forgiveness from those she hurt, Snow and Charming, and now she has Emma, but even now, with all the happiness in the world thrumming through her veins, she's awaiting an eclipse, something that'll take her light.
It makes her hesitate and pause when she'd normally try to control the situation. It makes her shy and unsure when she'd normally pull no punches and take what she wants. So she lets Emma direct their movement. She lets Emma slowly unravel each piece of clothing until they're both bare, open for each other to see. She lets Emma kiss and caress her body until she's ready to beg.
Emma's hands massage the other woman's inner thighs patiently as she kisses between Regina's breasts, just working Regina up until her nipples harden under the ministrations. They're both already so wet but Emma wants to savor every second. She takes her time sucking on each breast, drawing out moans and vigorous bucking of hips. Her attentions will leave marks that Regina will stare at with a smile for days to come.
"Emma." Regina finds her voice as Emma bites down gently on her nipple. "We have all the time in the world for teasing. That time is not right now."
Emma chuckles but follows the order, sliding down until her mouth skims Regina's hipbone. She exhales nervously but puts as much confidence into her movements as her tongue slides through Regina's folds for the first time, closing her eyes and taking in the feel and taste. Regina's moan echoes throughout the mansion and it gives Emma a boost. She finds Regina's clit and sucks gently, afraid of being too harsh on the bundle of nerves.
Which dissolves when Regina whispers, "More. Harder."
She opens her mouth wider and lashes her tongue roughly against Regina's throbbing clit. She alternates between sucking, licking, and nipping until she feels Regina's thighs start to quiver and close in on her head. She doesn't slow, but instead keeps her pace, working Regina up and up until she's moaning loudly enough for the neighbors to hear.
"God, Emma, yes." Regina whispers under her breath. She's gone from loud to quiet as she comes closer climax. Her words come out low and rapid, mostly under her breath like she's talking to herself, like she's so immersed in her own pleasure that everything else fades away.
When she comes undone, it's with a silent scream, her mouth dropping open but no sound making it out. Emma slows a bit but doesn't stop, wanting to draw out the pleasure, and Regina trembles until Emma's mouth departs with a kiss to her sensitive clit.
Well, Emma Swan may eat like a child but she eats out like a pro. Before Emma can even smirk, ready to tease her lover over her prowess, Regina's flipping them over so she's on top.
"Your turn." Regina says, then swiftly inserts two fingers into Emma. Emma immediately bucks her hips. Regina starts to thrust, and curls her fingers until they rub Emma's inner walls roughly, and Emma just about comes when Regina's thumb presses down on the edge of her clit, massaging the one side then the other. It's not enough to push her over and it's maddening. Emma can't help but growl at the teasing, silently cursing Regina's hypocrisy. The head board smacks the wall with every hip movement, she can hear just how wet she is every time Regina enters her, and, for some reason, it turns her on more than it probably should. With a pinch to her nipple and a press to her clit, Emma lets go, a loud wail escaping her. Where Regina gets quiet, Emma gets loud. Yin and yang.
Regina collapses on top of her and traps her own hand between them, not that she's making any moves to removes her fingers. The two digits stay inside her as they rest, trying to catch their breath. Regina wiggles them playfully and Emma moans and swats at Regina's shoulder.
When Regina rolls off and onto the cold spot next to her, Emma's chest tightens. She misses Regina's body already. She also feels like an idiot for thinking that, but it's truly a testament to what they can be. Without thinking, Emma whispers, "We should get married."
Regina startles, probably staring at Emma incredulously, but then she chuckles. "You're delirious from that orgasm." Emma frowns at that and Regina clears her throat. She adds, "Maybe someday."
"That's a start."