"Fuck."
That was the only thing that the woman could whisper, barely awake and lying on her bed, with her blond hair all over her face. She hated that sound more than anything in the world; the brain-piercing sound of the alarm going off so early in the morning. Admittedly, it wasn't that early, just a little later than nine o'clock but, well, she wasn't a morning person. Keeping her eyes closed, she reached and turned off the alarm, more or less throwing it on the floor. The hard part was opening her eyes and starting the day.
Get up.
No.
Yes.
No.
Yes.
"Fuck," she said again in a sleepy voice and opened her eyes, slowly sitting up on her bed.
She stayed there for a few minutes, rubbing her eyes and looking around, enjoying the silence. It wasn't that silent, it never was in the city, but she still hadn't gotten used to the silence that had taken over her home for a few months now.
The woman slowly walked to the kitchen and made coffee. A part of her, especially when she was sleepy, still waited to hear her daughter's giggles in the morning, teasing her for the way her hair looked after she'd just gotten up. But then, the moment passed and she remembered that Rindy had two homes now.
She wasn't bitter. She wasn't sad. She wasn't angry. If anything, her relationship with Harge was the best that she could hope for. Some months ago she wouldn't even have dared to imagine that they could get along so well. That was one of the reasons that the idea of their separation had scared her; if they ended up hating each other, her job would be on the line, they worked together after all. But they were good, maybe even better than when they were married. They had realised that it couldn't work. Harge had found out about her little "adventure" with Abby and she had known for a while that he had been sleeping with other women.
But in a weird way, they loved each other. They cared for each other. They had basically matured together and their daughter would keep them linked forever. He was a good man and a good father; if there was one thing that she could be sure about was the fact that she could not have made a better choice for her child's father. But it had never gone further. She had never been in love with him and she believed that he hadn't either. She knew that there was something missing, maybe not from the beginning, but she knew. And when, out of nowhere, the "adventure" happened with Abby, it was like the pieces of a puzzle had fallen together. Like something inside her had changed, like she had woken up from a very long sleep. But still, not entirely. She still didn't know who she was. All these years she had been focused on being good as a wife, good at her job and good as a mother, obviously missing many more things on the way.
She took her coffee and sat on her sofa.
That time of the year had come again. The start of the new season. The time when they had to decide which plays they would do this year, who would direct what, which actors they would choose and so on. Since she had begun working as a director, this had been one of her favorite times of the year. It was recently that she had realised that this was just because it gave her the illusion of a new beginning, like she could erase everything and begin again, make different choices. It was also recently that she had realised she shouldn't be confusing her work with her life. No matter how many new beginnings she could have as a director, her life had already begun and despite her illusions, it was going on without her being able to control it, sometimes not even realising how fast it went by.
But now she was excited because it signified a new beginning in her life as well. She was divorced now and she could focus on living her life as a woman and not as a wife. However, a part of her was thinking that it was not a new beginning, just a chapter that had ended, because nothing new was coming. But her job fulfilled her and she was going to give it her best this year, letting no one and nothing distract her.
Keeping that thought in her mind, she finished her coffee and started getting ready.
About half an hour later, she threw her keys and her phone in her bag and left her appartment. She hailed a cab and wished more than anything that she wouldn't be late. She didn't want people to think that because she was Harge's wife and he was basically their boss, she didn't take her job as seriously. Besides, very few people knew about their separation; they had decided to keep it private for a while, until they settled on some things.
Fortunately, it wasn't ten o'clock yet when the taxi stopped in front of the theater. She walked to the entrance in a hurry and almost didn't see Abby, who was standing beside the door and smoking a cigarette.
"Hey, blondie."
"Hey," she responded with a smile, reaching her and giving her a kiss on the cheek, "am I late?"
"No, I don't think everyone is here yet but we should probably go upstairs."
Abby finished her cigarette and they went inside, walking together.
"How are you?"
"Good. Coming to terms with my new life. A bit lonely I guess, but I'll get over it."
"I told you you can come live with me for a while if that would make you feel better."
She avoided looking Abby in the eye, even though she could feel her friend's eyes on her. Even though they hadn't talked about their affair since it had happened and they had been pretending as if nothing had ever happened at all, there were some moments that they could feel some tension between them. And this was one of these moments.
"I know. But I'd better get used to it, if I come live with you it will be harder when I'll have to be on my own again."
Abby looked like she wanted to say something more on the topic but she shook her head, like she had decided against it.
"Okay."
They reached the door of the office in which the meeting would take place and knocked on the door.
"Come in," came Harge's voice from inside the room.
They waked inside and saw mostly familiar faces, the others presumably being new producers that Harge had been able to draw in.
"Ah, Carol! Welcome and good morning! Same goes for you, Abby. Why don't you sit down so we can start?" Harge said with a charming smile.
As she went to sit next to him, Carol noticed some questioning looks from some of the producers.
"One of us has to drive the little one to school, you know?" Harge said with a laugh.
"And Harge had to be here early, obviously," Carol said, looking at him and giving him a nod, wanting it to mean "thank you".
He smiled in response and eventually everyone took their places.
"So," Harge started with a loud voice, "welcome everybody. As you all know, we are here to make the plans for the new season. With some of you, we have worked together before and with the rest of you, we are very happy to begin a collaboration. I understand that some of you have business to attend to so I'll get right to the point. We took a look at some statistics from the past few years and reached some conclusions. One of them is, and it's not very surprising, that the audiences seem to prefer plays that they are familiar with; classics, as they call them. So it would be wise for us to prefer them as well because they are the ones that earn money."
Some of the men smiled at that remark.
Of course, that's what they're all here for anyway. The money, Carol couldn't help but think bitterly.
This was something that they had often disagreed on with Harge. He wanted big productions, plays that would be sure to draw big audiences and thus, big money. One thing he would say often was 'I don't mind spending money if I'm sure I'm going to get it back.' And her response would always be 'you shouldn't mind spending money if you're sure that the result is going to be worth it artistically.' But the he would start teasing her about being too "artsy" and not understanding how the world of business ran. And even though that were true, she always refused to treat theatre as a business and talk about it in such a way.
But Harge was right in some aspects. He had to run the theatre and he couldn't do that if he didn't make a profit from their productions. He was the owner and the artistic director of the theatre after all and Carol had to admit that he was good at it and he gave her the space to do things that she was sure he wouldn't let anyone else do.
"So, our thought was with a couple of our producers, that we would start with a so-called classic and see how it goes. If it goes well, we'll have enough money to do things that we want to do for the rest of the year because our budget will have become bigger," he continued, giving a quick look at Carol.
Most of the people around the table nodded in agreement.
"Basically, as you can understand, our goal for the beginning of the season is to draw audiences and make money."
"And make a good play," Carol added.
"Of course, of course," Harge said smiling, "we want it to be good from every aspect but also give emphasis on some aspects that we don't always pay that much attention to."
"Like?" Abby asked.
"Like making this a big production. I know, it's not something that we usually care about, but now I'm talking impressive scenery, wonderful costumes and such. These are things that draw people's attention. Of course, we're also going to need some very skilled actors," he quickly added as Carol opened her mouth to speak.
"Of course," agreed one bearded man with glasses; one of the new producers, Carol guessed.
"I know that we have collaborated with some very skilled and talented directors but this is something that is of very big importance to me and there is only one person whom I would trust this with and that is Carol Aird, and not because she's my wife," Harge said with a smile, making the people around the table laugh.
"Thank you, Harge."
"I think we'd all agree she has done some very good jobs in the last years and I trust her with this completely, as this is also a play that I know she will love."
A few men nodded, smiling at Carol.
"So you already have a play in mind then?" Carol asked, turning to look at Harge.
"Yes. But it is not a play. It's a book and one of your favorites if I remember correctly. We have decided to start our new season with 'Anna Karenina'. There's something in it for everybody. There's love, there's drama. It's undeniably a classic. And one of the best love stories ever told."
"It's not a bad idea," Abby said reluctantly.
"We'll need an insanely good protagonist though," added Carol.
"Yes, that's true," Harge said.
"And we'll also need two very good actors for Karenin and Vronsky, they're both really difficult parts," one of the producers said.
"Why don't you play Karenin, Harge?" one of the men said and they all laughed.
"I'm not an actor, Adam," Harge replied with a laugh, "and I don't think that the part of the oppressive husband would suit me," he added in a whisper to Carol and she smiled.
"But Karenina, Karenina should obviously be our main concern," Abby said and Carol nodded in agreement.
"We could get a Hollywood actress," Adam said.
"That's not a bad idea," Abby said but Carol winced. She always disliked that idea.
"What about Julia Roberts?"
"Mm, I don't think she's quite right for it," one of them said.
"Keira Knightley?"
"She did the movie, it wouldn't be wise to have her play the same part."
"Cate Blanchett?"
"She's filming a movie in Cincinnati."
"Actually," Harge interrupted, "if you don't mind, I kind of already have someone in mind," he said and everyone stopped talking.
"Who?" Abby asked, furrowing her eyebrows.
"What would you all say about Therese Belivet?"
Notes: I fell in love with these two when I read the book and when I saw the movie and after reading some fics on here, I fell in love with Carol and Therese even more!
This is my first fic sooo be nice with me but feel free to correct me (English is not my first language) and drop constructive criticism!
Thank you if you read this, tell me what you think of it!