Taking a Chance
Summary: Taking a vacation helps John and Teyla realize that it is time to put their fears aside and take a chance. Post Season 5.
A/N: This idea came to me recently and I didn't think I would have time to write it down but then I had this irresistible urge to write. So in between homework and classes I managed to write and well...this is what came out. Takes place after Season 5 so if you haven't watched it yet beware there are a few spoilers for it.
He easily found a parking space, since it was still afternoon on a weekday it wasn't as full as if it would have been the weekend. Rodney and Ronon had decided to stay at the mall which was only a few minutes away, while John and Teyla took Torren to the park. They had decided they would meet for lunch later.
"We're here," he announced as he turned off the car.
He turned towards Teyla and saw her looking out the window, "It's beautiful," she said.
"Yeah it is. Always loved the park," he said as he opened his door and climbed out while she followed suit. He opened the back door and found Torren looking around as well.
"Hey buddy, ready for some fun?"
Torren laughed, clapped and then stretched out his arms toward John, eager to be taken out of the car seat.
John chuckled, "I guess that's a yes."
He unbuckled the belt, which had been a hassle earlier, he hadn't a clue how to work a car seat and it had taken all three men almost an hour to properly fit it in the car. He slowly picked up Torren and closed the door, double checking his pockets for the car keys before he closed his own door.
"Ready to go?" he asked both of them. Teyla nodded and Torren screamed in delight. John chuckled once again.
"Do you wish for me to help you with Torren, John?" Teyla asked as they headed towards the park.
John shook his head. "It's fine, plus he's holding on pretty tight. I don't think you'll be able to pry him away from me."
She smiled as she noticed Torren's little hand grip the back of John's light jacket tightly.
"This place looks very big, have you visited this place before?"
"Nope, never been here and it is pretty big but don't worry we won't get lost…I think."
She smiled once again. They reached a path that led to several different directions of the park.
"Which path should we take?"
"Well, there's a playground over there so how about we go there?" he said as he pointed ahead of them.
"Very well."
They walked in silence for a while, only the sound of their shoes stepping on the gravel and the occasional sound of a bird filling the air. They looked out, taking in the view when suddenly Torren gave out a laugh. They both turned to look at him and followed his gaze to a squirrel that had decided to venture out of his home. John noticed that the grass was pretty leveled, no bumps or holes that Torren could trip over so he carefully set him down. As soon as his sneakers touched the grass he began to walk as quickly as he could towards the squirrel, clapping and pointing at it. He had already been walking on his own for a few weeks and hardly fell anymore.
Teyla and John walked behind him, keeping a close eye on him, making sure he didn't fall.
"Looks like he's enjoying himself already."
"He surely is." She smiled as she watched her son attempt to catch up with the squirrel.
"How 'bout you?" he asked looking at her.
"I am as well. I am enjoying being away from Atlantis for a while."
"That's good, we could all use some time away right now."
She nodded in agreement. They both turned to look back at Torren who was looking up a tree where the squirrel had apparently scurried up to.
John crouched down next to him. "Looks like you scared the poor squirrel away, buddy."
Torren just gave him a confused look, not understanding why the creature wouldn't want to play with him.
He stood up and took Torren's hand. "C'mon the playground's over there."
They finally reached the playground and as soon as Torren saw the brightly colored equipment he began clapping and screaming, eager to climb on everything. John and Teyla laughed as they watched his reaction.
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Teyla felt her heart grow warm as she watched John play with Torren. She enjoyed watching them together, it seemed that John had a great way with children and every time he would be around Torren he showed a different side of him. He seemed to care much for her son and this only intensified her feelings for him. She never told him how she felt even before Kanaan came along for fear that he would not feel the same. She had to bury those feelings deep inside and had successfully managed to do so but after her relationship with Kanaan ended, those feelings began to creep back up. She thought she would be able to control them but every time that he would brush past her or be at close proximity they would make their way to the surface once again.
She had struggled with her feelings even more the past few days since they had begun to spend more time together. When John suggested that all five of them should take a few days trip away from Atlantis to help them relax, she thought it would be a good idea.
Her trip to the hotel spa had helped her tremendously but when she went to pick up Torren from John's room, who had volunteered to take care of him while she had some time to herself, the scene before her brought all those feelings to the surface at full force. She found them both asleep, Torren resting comfortably on top of John, his head resting on his chest and his small hand clutching the front of John's shirt. In turn John had one hand on Torren's back while he had his other arm protectively around her son. She had stood by the door, not wanting to wake them, trying to control herself, something that she had been very good at until that moment.
She had looked around the room and found Torren's toys spread out all over the floor including an empty cookie package, which made her smile. John always seemed to find a way to give Torren some sort of sweet.
The sound of laughter brought her back to the present and she turned to see that they had moved on to what John had informed her were swings. As John continued to push Torren, he kept laughing and screaming in delight. She smiled once again.
"Hey Teyla, why don't you join us?" John called out to her.
She walked towards them and saw John give her one of his lopsided smiles and she couldn't help but give him one of her own.
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John watched as Teyla went down the slide with Torren. He was glad that she seemed to be enjoying herself, she had seemed stressed out more than usual lately and he guessed that leaving her home had finally taken a toll on her. He thought that a bit of a vacation might be good for the team, especially for her and when she agreed he was delighted. He wanted to make her laugh and smile again and take her on a short tour of Earth to make her forget her troubles even if only for a while.
Her happiness was the only thing that mattered to him, always had been but he couldn't tell her how he felt. He didn't want to lose her but he knew if he didn't tell her he would regret it. His fear of her not feeling the same way kept him from acting on his feelings. Many thought that he was fearless, that nothing scared him but the thought of losing her gave him many restless nights and had become his greatest fear.
He hoped that this trip, away from everything and everyone would give him enough courage to tell her how he felt because ever since she and Kanaan had split up, his feelings for her broke through the wall that he had so successfully built. It would eat at him everyday and whenever he would spend any time with her those feelings threatened to burst onto the surface to make themselves known. It took every ounce of strength he had to keep them from showing but it had become increasingly harder to do so lately. His control would occasionally slip and he knew he wouldn't be able to keep it up much longer. He would have to take the inevitable rejection and live with it but at least he would not beat himself up for it anymore.
Her laughter brought him back to Earth and the smile that had been permanently plastered on his face since they arrived at the park grew bigger, that was the laugh that he had been so eager to hear all day.
"Hey, you two having fun without me?" he yelled out as he ran over to them.
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After an hour of playing in the playground they decided to take a break. They sat on the grass, watching Torren chase another squirrel. It looked like he would tire himself out sooner rather than later. John quickly glanced at Teyla and noticed her smile, it seemed that her mood had improved greatly and he was glad, he didn't like to see her sad or worried. A slight breeze blew and a strand of her hair covered her eyes which she quickly tucked the strand behind her ear, never looking away from Torren.
"You know we're gonna get back as soon as we can," he told her.
Teyla turned to look at him with a confused look on her face.
"To Pegasus. You're going to see your people again."
She smiled, "I know, John."
"Well, I just wanted you to know that. I know you still miss them and that it must be hard for you to be here and not there. I noticed how preoccupied you were the past week and-"
"Wait, John, you thought it was my people that was worrying me?"
"Well, yeah. It wasn't?" Maybe he shouldn't have said anything, he thought.
She smiled. "My people are always on my mind but it has nothing to do with the last week. I was preoccupied with other things but do not worry I will be fine."
"Oh, well I just assumed…"
She placed a hand on his arm. "It is all right, I appreciate your concern."
She gave him a smile and noticed something new in his eyes, something that she had not seen from him before and suddenly those feelings threatened to make their way back to the surface again.
John didn't look away and when she had placed her hand on his arm, the final ounce of strength that he had left shattered and those feelings finally broke through that wall. He knew that if he didn't take the chance right now he might regret it forever so he leaned towards her hoping that she wouldn't pull back. He felt his lips brush against hers and he started gentle and slow, making sure to give her the freedom to pull back if she wanted to but she didn't. The only thought in his mind was the way that her lips felt against his, the sweet smell of what he could only describe as Teyla and the taste of the chocolate that she had eaten earlier. He finally remembered where they were and he grudgingly shortened the sweet kiss. As they pulled apart he noticed her smile and he couldn't help the smile that had suddenly appeared on his own face. Well, she hadn't run away, he thought and if the smile on her face was any indication, she didn't regret it either.
"So…" he began, "that was interesting." He remembered saying that before and thought back to that kiss.
She gave a chuckle, obviously thinking back to the same event. "Yes, very."
He smiled and then cleared his throat, not really sure of what to do next, he hadn't thought that far ahead. He didn't want to mess this one up, he cared too much for Teyla and he wanted her to know that.
Teyla could not believe what had just happened, the one thing that she had thought would never happen just had. She noticed John's internal struggle and she knew that maybe he needed a bit of encouragement to say what he apparently wanted to say. This time she pressed her lips to his, he was momentarily stunned but recovered quickly and responded to her kiss. The same gentleness as before was there and she applied a bit more pressure to assure him that she wanted this as well. They broke apart and Teyla gave him what she hoped was an encouraging smile, which apparently worked because he took her hand and cleared his throat once again.
"I was an idiot for not telling you how I felt before but I was scared that maybe you didn't feel the same way and that it would ruin the wonderful friendship we have, it was something that I didn't want to happen so I buried those feelings deep inside. Then Kanaan came into the picture and I thought that I had lost my chance forever but then I saw that maybe I had been given a second chance. I knew that I would regret it for the rest of my life if I didn't tell you how I felt but the fear was still there. I knew I had to take a chance or beat myself up forever for it. I care for you Teyla, I always had, more than I have ever cared for anyone, " he looked towards Torren, who was now sitting near them looking at a butterfly, "I care for Torren as well, he's the greatest kid I know. I know that I'm probably not the greatest with kids but well…I just don't want to keep these feelings for you inside anymore."
He saw Teyla's eyes glisten with tears but the smile never left her face.
"John, I must confess that I have also felt the same way for a long time but felt that you might not feel the same way. I accepted Kanaan's attention because I thought I would never have a chance with you and since then my feelings for you have only grown. It has been harder to keep them in control for the past few days and I could not figure the best way to keep them at bay but to know that you feel as I do…I have no words to express my happiness."
His smile grew bigger, if that was even possible. He cupped her face with his hands and leaned towards her once again and when their lips met once again, he knew that he would never get tired of kissing her.
"Ma!"
They broke apart and turned towards Torren, who had tired of looking at butterflies and squirrels and was standing next to them. They both looked sheepishly at him.
Suddenly, John's phone rang, they had all been given phones to use during their vacation. He looked at the screen and rolled his eyes. "It's Rodney," he told her.
"Yes, Meredith," he answered with a smile.
Teyla chuckled as she sat Torren on her lap. She heard Rodney's voice carry over to where she was.
"You're always hungry, nothing out of the ordinary there," he said into the phone and she heard Rodney's voice answer back.
"Fine. We'll be right there. Yes, Rodney we're leaving right now. Bye."
"Well apparently it's time to go," he announced as he picked up Torren from Teyla's lap and stretched out his hand to help her up.
"Rodney is hungry, I presume?" she asked as she took his hand.
John laughed, "yeah, told me that his glucose level is dangerously low but I think that Ronon's driving him nuts already."
Teyla laughed as she dusted herself off.
"Well buddy, time to go. Uncle Rodney is hungry but I promise we'll be back soon," he told Torren as he tickled him. Torren giggled and grabbed onto the back of John's jacket once again.
He put his arm around Teyla, "You don't mind, do you?" he asked her as they made their way towards the car. He usually wasn't one for such public display of affection but he couldn't help himself at the moment.
She snuggled closer, a bit surprised with both the question and action. "Of course not and about your earlier comment, I believe you have a great way with children and a great influence on Torren…at times," she smiled. "Right, Torren?"
He nodded his head and planted a kiss on John's cheek.
John gave a shy smile, "if you say so."
"I wonder how Ronon and Rodney are going to react?" Teyla asked.
"I'm not really sure, but I think having a camera handy would be great."
Thanks for reading and hope you enjoyed it. Reviews are welcome :)