Roxas arrived at the clock tower as usual. After his mission at Beast's Castle and his encounter with Xaldin, there were still so many questions left on his mind. At least here, he could get away from his thoughts for awhile as he eat ice cream and stared at the sunset with his friends. Whenever he was around them, it was like he didn't have a care in the world.
As he came around the corner atop of the clock tower, Axel was the only person sitting there. He looked to be lost in thought. When he saw Roxas coming, his disposition immediately shifted, and a grin broke out on his face.
"Hey, here comes the hard worker," Axel stated, pulling out two ice creams as Roxas came and sat down next to him. Roxas smiled and took the ice cream from Axel, and the duo both began to eat it as they stared ahead.
"Xion around?" Roxas asked. Axel began shaking his head and then started scratching the back of his head with his free hand.
"Haven't seen her."
"Oh…"
"Somebody's gotta talk to that girl."
"It's her choice if she wants to come with us or not," Roxas replied, biting into his ice cream.
"I guess that's fair."
As a silence began to envelop between the two, Roxas felt his thoughts slowly drifting back to his mission today. He wasn't sure why, but something about it was bothering him. It was a familiar feeling - he'd felt it several times before, but he wasn't sure what it was.
"Axel, I need to ask you something," Roxas suddenly chimed up. Axel looked at him with a quizzical expression.
"What's up? Did something happen?" Axel asked. Roxas began shaking his head.
"Nah, it's just... This is gonna sound stupid," Roxas began, stopping his assault on his ice cream. He decided it was better to get it out now then wait later. "Do you know what love is?"
Axel practically began choking on his ice cream as soon as the question left Roxas' lips. It took him a second to calm down and let his body relax.
"'Scuse me?"
"I found out about love on today's mission - that it's something powerful." Roxas replied. His ice cream was beginning to melt and drip.
"That's true. It is. But I'll never get to experience it."
"Nobodies can't love?" Roxas asked, shocked.
"You need a heart, man," Axel replied, pointing his ice cream at Roxas.
"Right…" Roxas replied in disbelief. There were so many things that Nobodies apparently "couldn't" feel or "couldn't" do because of the fact they lacked a heart. But something about that struck Roxas as odd. In fact, a lot of the things he had been told seemed quite questionable to him.
"Love is what happens if there's something really special between two people."
"You mean, like, if they're best friends?" Roxs wondered. He considered Xion and Axel his best friends, and so that must mean that he loved them.
"Well, you can care about your friends, I guess, but that's not what I'm talking about."
"So then...love is like a step above friends?" Roxas was beginning to feel lost again.
"Yes... Well, no. There aren't 'steps.'"
"I don't get it." Roxas remarked.
"What does it matter? We'll never know the difference."
Roxas rose up without warning, startling Axel. Roxas had an angry expression on his face and dropped his ice cream.
"I'm tired of people saying that," Roxas replied. "Everyone keeps saying that Nobodies can't feel or can't do something, but is that really true? Maybe love isn't what you feel specifically for friends, but you still have to care for your friends. Isn't that an emotion?"
"Roxas-"
"I care about Xion, and I care about you, too. I may be a Nobody, but that doesn't mean that I'm not like everybody else. You say you can only remember the way things feel because of your memory, but what about me? I don't have any memories, and yet, I still feel all of these things, Axel. Tell me, how that makes sense?"
Axel stayed quiet. He turned away from Roxas and stared at the sunset, trying to lose himself in the sight.
"Axel!"
Roxas reached down and grabbed Axel by his collar, forcing him to stand up straight. Axel was knocked off balance and he dropped his ice cream. The Keyblade wielder pulled the slender man toward himself, closing the distance between one another, a look of anguish on his face.
"I have all these thoughts and all these feelings inside of me, Axel," he whispered. "How am I supposed t deal with them when everyone keeps telling me that they're not real, or that they're simply figments of my memories? Maybe I don't have a heart, but that doesn't mean anything. I know what I'm feeling."
"You think I don't understand, Roxas?" Axel began, shaking Roxas' hold off of him. He glared at the boy for a second, but his look quickly softened into one of regret. "I guess I should have told you sooner. I know how you feel. Truth is, I've had the same problems too, and while I wanted to think it was my memories affecting me, that what I thought should be an illusion couldn't be real… I couldn't believe it. There were some things that I just couldn't rationalize."
"Like what?" Roxas asked, staring up at Axel with pleading eyes.
"It's your fault, you know," Axel jested. "I was fine right up till I meant you and Saix lumped us together for some babysitting time. But then, as time began to pass, and we kept spending time together, I realized that those feelings couldn't be feelings I had when I was younger. Before all of this," he said, gesturing toward himself and the black robe, "happened."
"What do you mean?" Roxas asked.
"You want to know what love is, right?" Axel asked, turning his gaze away from Roxas' and nervously scratching the back of his head. "Truth is, I never really experienced it… not until I was a Nobody. Not until the day I met you."
Axel turned back to look at the boy and sighed, like he was both relieved and regretting releasing such a hefty load of information. Roxas began stepping closer towards the man, lost in his words.
"I couldn't shake this feeling earlier, ever since Xaldin told me about what love was," Roxas began, "and it felt familiar. At first, I couldn't figure out why. I didn't know how I knew the feeling, or why had felt it multiple times before, but now that I can recognize it, now that there's a name to it, I do know it," Roxas replied. "It's the feeling I get whenever I'm with you."
"Man, you're not making this any easier," Axel huffed. He began walking closer towards Roxas, and soon there was but mere inches between the two of them. "I mean, I should be the one saying that all the ice cream has gone to our heads, and that we must be imagining things."
They both closed their eyes as their faces grew nearer, and soon their lips touched and they both kissed one another. As they pulled each other into an embrace, Roxas felt bewldered by this strange action, but felt good as well. Somehow, kissing Axel made everything feel good again. His thoughts were gone, his questions disappeared, and his anxiety seemed to be at ease. It was like a long time desire had finally come to fruition between the two.
As the two pulled away from one another, opening their eyes and staring at one another, they each both smiled and then began to laugh. Once they both had ceased laughter and calmed down, Axel sat back down on the edge of the clock tower and gestured for Roxas to follow suit. The boy sat next to him without any hesitation, but this time closed the distance between the two so they were right next to each other.
"That feeling… It's just a feeling you share with one other person, right?" Roxas asked. "I mean, love. You don't feel like that with everyone else. right?"
"No, it doesn't really work that way," Axel replied. "It's a feeling you share with your own special someone. Like me and you… If you want."
"Yeah!" Roxas replied eagerly. "I want it. It just feel natural. Whatever we did right now, I'm not sure what it was, but I liked it."
"Are you telling me you don't know what kissing is?" Axel asked, appalled.
"Is that what it's called?"
"Oh man, if you don't even know what that is, I guess I'm gonna have to teach you quite an extensive list of things huh?"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
As the two continued bickering and playfully arguing as they usually did, the sun continued to set in the background, painting the sky with colors of orange, yellow and red - traveling farther than any other.
Roxas's Diary Entry: Day 171
On my mission at Beast's Castle, Xaldin told me about "love" and the special power it has over people. When I tried to ask Axel about it, he tried to dodge the question but the two of us eventually came to an understanding. I think I know what love is now. When Xion comes tomorrow, I can't wait to tell her about today. Where is she?
