Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece.

Warning: This is an OC with no romance. There may be romance going on with the other characters depending on how they work out in my story but the OC will have none.

Screams and shouts of: "A person just appeared on the table!" "The world's ending!" and "My food disappeared!" awoke me from my slumber.

Groggily, I rubbed my eyelids and groaned, "Five more minutes." The mass of tissue, called my head, felt like somebody had crushed it with a sledgehammer, rolled over it with a truck then dropped it from Mount Everest. Needless to say, I did not want to wake up.

The floors shook.

I whined, "Stop shaking."

Urg, I thought that living in a tenth story apartment meant having nice solid floors that didn't shake. And I lived at least a ten-kilometer radius from the ocean! Unless I developed bat ears while sleeping, I was NOT supposed to hear ocean waves.

My brain processed the thought again.

I froze.

What?

How was the floor shaking? And when did waves become available in the middle of freaking Canada? Eyes snapping open, I blinked rapidly, adjusting to the glaring sunlight. The blurry figures sharpened and… my jaw dropped.

Cooks with knives and other deadly cooking utensils stood in front of me, ready to attack if I made a suspicious move. A mass of pointy weapons was directed at my face. Swearing colorfully inside my head, I stood stock still, not giving them an excuse to lop my head off.

Okay this was overkill. Did they really need to let a harmless, powerless teenager know that they were a threat by trying to kill them?

Their cold eyes stared back.

I realized that they did.

I paled further when I recognized people – no – characters behind the mass of cooks. There was Sanji, the yellow haired cook with long curly eyebrows and Zoro, a buff man with greenish mossy hair, his hand near his swords ready for anything. Ussop was behind Zoro, his long nose wrinkled from frowning at me in wonder and a bit of amusement. And of course Nami, who had bright orange hair standing on the other side of the swordsman, studying me curiously.

"Is this for real?" I whispered.

I pinched myself.

It hurt.

I punched myself.

It hurt… like a lot

No freaking way.

I started to swear with words that I didn't even know existed. Breaths coming out in harsh gasps I thought, 'How did I get here? Did somebody kidnap me and take me to a Cosplay convention for a prank?

Somebody jabbed me.

"What are you?" A boy with a straw hat asked curiously, munching on a stolen piece of meat.

I flinched.

Was this Luffy?

"G-get the f-fuck away from me!" I shouted and backed away, being careful not to bump into any of the pointy objects. "Anyway, it's none of your business!"

Without warning, a fist slammed onto my head.

SLAM!

Tears welled up in my eyes from the pain. "Ow…" I moaned. Angrily, I turned towards the man who had hit me.

He had long blond hair braided into two and a substitute wooden stick leg that stuck out from his right thigh. His face was marred with lines of annoyance and it was even more pronounced from disapproval. He was Chief Zeff.

"Don't swear kid!" Chief Zeff shouted, his mustache quivering.

"I'm not a kid, you…" I hesitated. Should I call him that? Would he kill me if I did?

As if sensing my fear, he triumphantly sneered down at me, his mouth twitching into a smirk. I got annoyed.

Oh no you didn't!

Flatly I said, "I'm not a KID you CROSS-DRESSING old man! Besides, you're a pirate, why would you care if I swore?"

Zeff worked his jaw.

Luffy kept munching on his meat, like he was watching a particularly entertaining TV show.

Everybody else looked at Zeff a little differently. Silence filled the air as a significant amount of killing intent flowed from Zeff.

Sanji snorted. "C-cross dressing old man." Not able to maintain a straight face any longer, he started to snigger.

Others followed Sanji, laughing silently or loudly.

"How dare you laugh about the head chef!" Zeff shouted, two red dots appearing on his cheeks. When Sanji and the others didn't stop laughing, Zeff snarled, "Take this" and hit Sanji with his cook hat. The man, hit unexpectedly by a huge force, flew and smashed into a table, breaking it in half. But he kept on laughing.

The others stopped in fright.

"I'm confused. Are you an old woman, old man?" Luffy asked, prompting Sanji to laugh even louder. Luffy smiled happlily.

Zeff took calming breaths, "Don't you have eyes?" He roared. Kicking his wooden leg up, he slammed it down onto Luffy's head. My eyes widened. The leg had made a dent in Luffy's skull. This was either special effects or an alternate universe.

"I am a man you idiots!" Zeff roared.

A snort escaped my lips.

The old man's fist fell on the same spot it had hit last time. I clutched my head in agony. Impulsively, without censoring my words as I should've, I snarled, "You shitty old man! Don't hit me like I'm a little kid!"

Zeff went red. He walked towards me, his face enraged.

I'm going to die. I'm going to die…

"You are a little kid, kid." Zeff sneered down at me.

I felt another spark of annoyance. "Are you an idiot or what? Or could you be blind in your senility? I'm a teen, not a child!"

"You must be the shortest teen I've ever met." Zeff snorted. "Are you playing dress up to look like you're older, kid? Your shirt seems ready to fall."

"Hey, I'll let you know that I'm taller than most people my age…" My voice fell short. Now aware of my surroundings, unlike earlier when I was terrified by the mass of weapons, I realized that I was short. Either that or everyone around me were bigger and taller because they were monsters. (If they were, I didn't doubt it.)

Slowly, I looked down at my hands and almost screamed. They were small, like grade school small. It looked like a child's hand. Shaking in horror, I glanced at a shiny plate in front of me. I was a kid.

"N-no." I stuttered, shocked out of my mind. Forgetting the people around me, I wailed, "I'm seventeen! Oh my freaking god! My height, my hair, my fully developed body… it's gone!"

The crew, the guests, and the cooks looked at me as if I was crazy. Zeff looked ready to hit me again.

"Its not real…" I muttered, trying to convince myself.

Luffy started laughing.

I glared at him.

"You're so funny!" Luffy said, grinning widely, showing off his teeth, "You should join the crew and be my entertainer!" A human elastic arm looped around Luffy's crew, including Sanji.

Sanji grew an angry tick mark on his forehead. "When did I tell you that I would join your crew?"

"You asked these crazy people to join our group Luffy?" Ussop asked, his eyes bugging out. He stared at us for a moment and said, "I'm the great pirate captain Usopp and you should all bow down to ME!"

"Shut Up!" Sanji and I yelled.

Zoro sighed. Nami looked like she wanted to either face palm or laugh. Everybody else stared at us with horrified fascination.

I said in my most serious tone, "If you're who I think you are, I'm not going to join your crew. You're gonna have batshit crazy adventures and I don't want to get caught up in it. Besides, in less then two days Don–"

Suddenly I felt a painful sensation in my gut and doubled over, not able to complete my sentence.

"Arrg…" I groaned.

Zeff frowned. "You alright ki-."

The man suddenly stiffened, as did the other people in the floating restaurant. In fact, the wine glass that Luffy knocked over stopped mid-air.

What's going on? Did Cronus come to visit?

I didn't have time to contemplate it any further. The pain - I felt like I swallowed blue flames and the flames were burning my stomach slowly. I dropped down to my knees. This was worse that the time I had diarrhea for a week.

"Fuckity fuck!" I groaned.

"Nyyyyyyan, you're not supposed to do that Nyyyyyyan!" a high-pitched voice drawled.

Miraculously at the same time, the intense pain vanished.

What the Hell?

I stared.

In front of me was a man wearing a black suite without pants, revealing bright green underwear. But insanely enough, that wasn't the most bizarre part of him. On top of his head were cat ears the size of hands. And sticking out of his green underwear was a tail, a cattail to be exact.

I inched away from the man.

"You're not supposed to tell them about their future Nyyyyyan." The man replied, swaying slightly from side to side. The man looked quite drunk, holding a liquor bottle that was filled with a bluish green fluid.

Without thinking, I blurted, "What are you?"

He glared at me.

"I mean… who are you?"

It wasn't my fault I called him a what. He didn't look human.

"I am what you would commonly refer to as God."

I blinked. "I've never heard of a god like you."

He sighed. "The only Gods you know are those who are incredibly idealistic or narcissistic, most of us don't bother with you mortals Nyyyyan. If we did, you'd have several billion religions by now and every one of you would be fighting to create a cult because there's more gods than humans Nyyyyan."

"Oh…" There wasn't much to say to that. "Then did you do this?" I gestured to time that had stopped.

"Of course, Nyyyyyan!"

"Why?" I asked.

No way he's a god. He probably staged this whole incident as a prank. But if I want to get out of here so I might as well humor him.

For a second, a hard glint entered the man's eyes but it passed quickly.

I shuddered. It was probably nothing. Besides, he had nothing to be angry about… unless he'd read my thoughts. But that wasn't possible, normal people didn't have telepathy.

"I told you before," He said, rolling his eyes, "Because you were going to tell them their future Nyyyyan!"

"So you brought me here?" I asked, annoyed by his nonchalant attitude.

The man nodded.

"Why?" I shouted.

The man stared at me with his red-rimmed eyes. He groaned, "Don't you remember me Nyyyyan? Don't you remember what happened Nyyyyan?"

"What are you talking about?" I snapped.

The man sighed again.

"The cute kitty?" He questioned.

I frowned.

The man sighed for the third time and snapped his fingers. In a puff of smoke, he turned into a black adorable kitten with a green stripe that ran across his middle.

"Do you remember now Nyyyyyan?" He, no, the cat asked in a Do-you-finally-understand-you-idiot tone.

I gaped. This wasn't possible. Men couldn't turn into kittens. Was he a god after all? But more importantly, I remembered that kitten.

Thank you for reading. Please follow, favorite, or comment on your way out - they help me write tremendously.