Hey! Well, welcome to my first Lord of the Rings humor fic! The only excuse I have for this is I was bored during U.S. History and I have writers block on my other unposted Lord of the Rings fic! So I know this will be odd, but please read and review anyway! And now without further ado here is Rubber Duckies and Pints (or Lack Thereof)
Chapter One: What's Wal-Mart?
"Ok, let me get this straight. We're in what year?" Legolas asked as he and the rest of the Fellowship stared at the three strangely dressed females standing in front of them.
"Two thousand two," Liz said, trying to get a better look at his ass.
"And how exactly did we get to the future?" Boromir (a/n: Nope he's not dead. Just back to be tortured in a future chaper) asked cautiously.
"See that girl over there? Ask her," Liz said, pointing to Chrissy who was inching her way towards Aragorn.
"Why are you blaming me? All I did was find a really cool ring!" she said with a smile. "Then I read this thing from a book. There was a big flash of light and poof! Here you are!" she said as someone else burst into the room.
"Wal-Mart's having a sale, let's go!" Mary yelled. "FRODO!!" she squealed, attacking him.
"Master Frodo! Don't worry, I'll save you!" Sam yelled, helplessly pulling on Mary's arm.
"Mary get off of him. No crushing the Hobbits," Chrissy said with a laugh.
"You mean not yet," Mary said, refusing to let go of Frodo.
"Did you happen to say that Wal-Mart was having a sale?" Liz asked.
"Yup. Wanna go?" Mary asked.
"Sure. Anyway, these gorgeous men need modern clothes. I'm thinking leather for mine," Chrissy said with an evil grin.
"What's a Wal-Mart?" Merry asked.
"And can we get food there?" Pippin asked.
"You'll see what Wal-Mart is when we get there and yes Pippin, you can get food there," Liz said, slipping her shoes on.
"And as for you nine, leave the weapons here," Chrissy said, taking Aragorns sword.
"But we need our weapons. I never travel without my sword," Aragorn said, finally speaking,
"I said, leave them," she said, giving then all a death glare.
"Alright, alright, don't go evil on us," Legolas said, placing his bow on Liz's bed.
"Now how do we get them to Wal-Mart?" Mary asked.
"Well, we all drive so we each grab three and meet there," Chrissy said, grabbing Aragorns arm. "I get this cutie here, Boromir, and I guess Gandalf. Ok, you two pick," she said to Mary and Liz.
"I get Frodo, Merry and Pippin," Mary said immediately.
"Fine. I guess I get Legolasm Gimili and Sam," Liz said, latching onto Legolas.
"Ok, let's. Aragorn gets shotgun," Chrissy said as they walked outside.
"What are these things? Motorized horses?" Sam asked, noticing the cars..
"Something like that. I'll explain on the way," Liz said as they got into the car.
"See ya guys later and no pit stops Mary!" Chrissy said as she started the car.
THE END!!!! Chapter two should be up soon!!
Chapter One: What's Wal-Mart?
"Ok, let me get this straight. We're in what year?" Legolas asked as he and the rest of the Fellowship stared at the three strangely dressed females standing in front of them.
"Two thousand two," Liz said, trying to get a better look at his ass.
"And how exactly did we get to the future?" Boromir (a/n: Nope he's not dead. Just back to be tortured in a future chaper) asked cautiously.
"See that girl over there? Ask her," Liz said, pointing to Chrissy who was inching her way towards Aragorn.
"Why are you blaming me? All I did was find a really cool ring!" she said with a smile. "Then I read this thing from a book. There was a big flash of light and poof! Here you are!" she said as someone else burst into the room.
"Wal-Mart's having a sale, let's go!" Mary yelled. "FRODO!!" she squealed, attacking him.
"Master Frodo! Don't worry, I'll save you!" Sam yelled, helplessly pulling on Mary's arm.
"Mary get off of him. No crushing the Hobbits," Chrissy said with a laugh.
"You mean not yet," Mary said, refusing to let go of Frodo.
"Did you happen to say that Wal-Mart was having a sale?" Liz asked.
"Yup. Wanna go?" Mary asked.
"Sure. Anyway, these gorgeous men need modern clothes. I'm thinking leather for mine," Chrissy said with an evil grin.
"What's a Wal-Mart?" Merry asked.
"And can we get food there?" Pippin asked.
"You'll see what Wal-Mart is when we get there and yes Pippin, you can get food there," Liz said, slipping her shoes on.
"And as for you nine, leave the weapons here," Chrissy said, taking Aragorns sword.
"But we need our weapons. I never travel without my sword," Aragorn said, finally speaking,
"I said, leave them," she said, giving then all a death glare.
"Alright, alright, don't go evil on us," Legolas said, placing his bow on Liz's bed.
"Now how do we get them to Wal-Mart?" Mary asked.
"Well, we all drive so we each grab three and meet there," Chrissy said, grabbing Aragorns arm. "I get this cutie here, Boromir, and I guess Gandalf. Ok, you two pick," she said to Mary and Liz.
"I get Frodo, Merry and Pippin," Mary said immediately.
"Fine. I guess I get Legolasm Gimili and Sam," Liz said, latching onto Legolas.
"Ok, let's. Aragorn gets shotgun," Chrissy said as they walked outside.
"What are these things? Motorized horses?" Sam asked, noticing the cars..
"Something like that. I'll explain on the way," Liz said as they got into the car.
"See ya guys later and no pit stops Mary!" Chrissy said as she started the car.
THE END!!!! Chapter two should be up soon!!