Bold = Goodnight little everything
Regular = Blazichu
LET'S HAVE SOME FUN WITH THIS. Have at you! YEAH.
SO THIS IS JUST SOME RANDOM CRAP THAT WE'RE WRITING. AND THE CRAZIEST YOU'LL EVER SEE ANY OF MY A/NS.
Also, Luigi and Bowser are the only ones in character.
And Mario x Bowser x Peach is totally canon! (And yes, Bowser IS in the middle for a reason...)
(Just fyi... don't take this seriously. AT ALL. It was meant to be a badfic parodying other fics but it... spun out of control from there.)
(Seriously. If you value your sanity, reconsider reading any further)
Once upon a time, Mario went on an adventure. Again.
An exciting one.
He was going to defeat Bowser for the bajillionth time, because obviously Bowser is the only enemy in the entire Mario series! (Except...there might've been that one guy, with the red, and the green, and the fury and such... who was that, again?)
(Your mom.)
So Mario walked across a field (which we'll skip because we can't write fighting scenes but we're compensating for this to put a grand skipping scene in so that way we don't look like idiots on FFnet, even though people are more inclined to believe we are idiots simply because of the fact we won't even try anything)
(Wait, you mean we aren't idiots?)
(UM... BACK TO THE STORY!)
So *CONVENIENT SKIP TIME* Mario gets to the cassle and confronts BOWZURZ. Bowser roars and fling LARGE FIRE BALL but Mario dodge and suddenly MARIO JUMP AND SQUASH BOWSER'S HEAD. (EXCELLENT!)
"No, my love!"
"THE POWER OF LOVE COMPELS YOU!"
*insert another out of place quote here*
"BABY DON'T HURT ME, DON'T HURT ME!"
And then Luigi was attacked by a ravenous, mutant creature who usually lives behind a computer screen and draws and writes all day.
Oh, that's just GLE. Sorry!
"... What." That's what Bowser said! Ohhhhh!
"What's going on here?"
"I DON'T KNOW."
"Of course you know!" Mario exclaimed. "You're the writer! You have to know!"
"No I don't," said Blazichu. LOL GLE WROTE ANOTHER CHARACTER.
And then the world exploded! (But GLE- we're IN this world!)
(Blazichu, Blazichu, Blazichu... Blazichu! Blazichu, Blazichu! Don't you know? We have awesome ninja powers! *teenage mutant ninja turtles theme plays*)
Oh, whatever- in any case, there was stuff going on in the princess's castle. Really, really good, awesome stuff. Some threesome stuff. Ohhhh yeah.
No, no, NO! Stuff needs to make SENSE... I think. Does stuff need to make sense? I can't remember.
GLE looks at Blazichu (shifting the tense of the story, as well), with an odd look. "... No it doesn't." She then proceeds to glomping Luigi again.
"Hey!" Blazichu protested obnoxiously, "It's MY turn!"
"Agh!" Luigi cried, the only one actually making sense in this stupid fanfiction. "What the- what are you doing! Leave me alone!"
Aww- innit he cute?
"No, I'm- well, wait, I can be cute, I- agh, you confuse me!" Luigi protested, somehow reading the narration. Yeah, somehow. GLE can't be bothered to expand how. (It has nothing to do with the fact that she really can't explain... yeah, really. I promise... I mean, wait. GLE promises. … Oh fudge. (PLOT DEVICE))
Blazichu and GLE then proceeded to throw away any sort of sense and tackled Luigi, who gave a loud cry of protest. Zillions of miles away, Mario and Peach were gettin' it on. Those two are totally related, yep.
Wait... what about Bowser? He needs some serious lovin'!
OH, REALLY? THEN- THEN I'LL WRITE THIS!
Suddenly, everyone glomped Bowser (except for Luigi). Yes, while Mario and Peach were still gettin' it on. What.
"... Why did I bother try to make sense of this fanfiction?" Luigi complained. LOL HE BROKE THE FOURTH WALL, SEE READERS SEE! HE DID! HE DID HE DID HE DID! AND I HAVE TO POINT IT OUT BECAUSE I THINK YOU CAN'T SEE IT! (There's a trope for that ;))
Speaking of which, TV Tropes eated everyone's souls. (That's why we're writing THIS! TA-DA!)
"Everything's better with a ta-da," Blazichu said. (... No, she really actually said that.)
HEY! DON'T TELL THE READERS HOW BIG A DORK I AM!
BUT I THOUGHT... I THOUGHT THEY ALREADY KNEW. ARE YOU HIDING THINGS FROM OUR READERS? YOU TRAITOR!
B-b-b-b-b- buuuuuuuuutttt (lol you said "butt")... I DON'T EVEN KNOW ANYMORE! WHO AM I! Mommy, is that you?
"... I'm just gonna go break stuff now," Bowser said, walking away and leaving this fanfiction. Good riddance. His shell was poking me. (This is why he's one of the only sane characters in this mess...)
"... Why didn't I think of doing that?" Luigi asks himself (and of course, GLE shifts the tense again!), but as he tries to exit, he only runs into an invisible wall. "... Great..."
"I'll get you my pretty!" Blazichu cackled, mind finally gone. "And your little dog, too!" GLE continued, once again shifting back to past tense, and rebelling - using two quotes without putting an enter between them from two different characters! Gasp!
And then a Smash Ball suddenly appeared.
Oh no! Please don't mark me down, teacher! I didn't mean to, honest!
"... Why is there a Super Smash Brothers reference in a Mario fanfiction?" Luigi asked. Then crossed his arms over his chest crossly. "... And why is the section called Mario, anyway? I mean, why can't it be called Mario BROS., or, maybe this is a bit far-fetched but, Luigi?"
...HE'S GOT A POINT. (lol Blazichu originally said "pointi") (Coming from little-miss 'asid'...) (SHUT UP OKAY)
"That sounds like you're asking her to shut up," Luigi told GLE. GLE promptly put duct tape on his mouth. (Oh, that's gonna smart, later on!)
And GLE and Blazichu once again glomp Luigi. And GLE SHIFTS THE TENSE AGAIN!
Anyway, there was something important going on with Mario and Peach, but we've kind of forgotten where we were going with that...
Because no other characters except Luigi matter, duh!
Rickroll time?
"NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP-"
"AW PMMPH STMMPH," Luigi cried, muffled by his duct tape. Which GLE actually consistently remembered! (Was the duct tape the plot device from earlier? Who knows! Checkov's gun, people!)
"NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN-"
WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN.
IT'S OVER 9000!
NO, IT'S FIVE HUNDRED AND NINETY NINE US DOLLARS.
NO, I'M TWELVE AND WHAT IS THIS?
NO, IT'S GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAK! (IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE!)
NO, IT'S DEATHWATER!
NO, IT'S *insert another internet meme here*
Where were we, again?
I DON'T KNOW, LET'S JUST END IT HERE BEFORE OTHERS GET SUSPICIOUS THAT THERE WAS AN ACTUAL PLOT.
And so the love triangle was finally settled, and everyone went crazy because MarioxBowserxPeach was never meant for human eyes. And Luigi never got that duct tape off, either. (Can we keep him, GLE?)
And GLE and Blazichu kept him. (WISH GRANTED, MORTAL.)
END OF CHAPTER (Duh duh duh duuuuuh duh duh!)
I mean...sanity.