Date: 10/19/2001
Title: I'm Happy Now
Author: The Peanut Butter General
Genres: Story Angst Alternate universe.
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Proof of Purchase
Summary: Max/Logan/Zack and others, no sex involved! *Max leaves Seattle after a fight with Logan
DISCLAIMER: All characters who appear in this story belong to their respective creators, including Cameron/Eglee Productions and 20th Century Studios. No money is being made from the use of these characters.
I had left Seattle ten years ago. We had a horrible fight; me and Logan. He spent countless hours begging me to help his friend Asha, I didn't want to, but I knew I would. Alec had come to Logan's that night; he looked as though someone or something had kicked his ass. I rose quickly to tend to him. He said he was fine and pushed me away, and he started to warn me about a possible attack on the transgenics. Before Alec could even finish, Logan cut him off. First by snapping some comment about how "you people" never knock, mainly meaning my people and then telling Alec that I didn't need him. My mouth dropped open. I had heard him use that tone of voice before, whenever Zack was around. It was like he thought he owned me or somehow commanded me.
Well, that night, I was in no mood for it. I quickly grabbed Alec's arm and half dragged him out of the apartment. I ignored Logan's pages for the next three days. It was actually quite easy; Alec, Joshua and I were staying in an old house in Sector Four. Kendra moved back in with Cindy to help pay the rent. And no one knew where to find me. About a week later, Cindy said Logan had come looking for me at the apartment. She said he looked horrible and felt bad about what happened. I told her if Logan came back to tell him to go to hell. Cindy didn't ask any questions, she could tell I was mad. I ignored Logan's pages for about another two weeks, until his new messenger girl came calling.
I had met Cindy and Sketchy for a drink and in walks Asha, telling me that Logan missed me and that she couldn't believe I was mad at him. Then went on to practically berate me about my family showing up at his place. I was mad, maybe a little moody too. I told her to tell Logan that he wouldn't have to worry about it anymore; I had been spending way too much time there anyway. I stormed out of the bar that night. A few days later I confronted Logan, before leaving Seattle for good. I
had stormed into his apartment, without knocking, no announcement, I just threw myself into the apartment and started screaming at him. "You want my family out of your life, fine! We're all out! You treated Zack like shit every time he was in town. You treat Alec like he's an annoyance, just because he can help me and you and your sorry ass can't! You treat everyone I love like they are nothing, like they don't meet the "Logan Cale" Seal of Approval. So Fine, I'm out. Gone, Ba-bye."
I didn't even wait for him to speak; I just stormed back out of the apartment. Well, actually I did a little more than that. I sort of kicked the door off the hinges. Looking back on that now, I probably shouldn't have. But I left that night, Joshua following me. We settled in Santa Fe. Even got a nice place, kind of out of the way. The nearest people were more than twenty miles away. Joshua could be free here, provided he stayed out of town. Alec moved down with us a few months later, followed by Jondy, Krit, Syl and a barrage of X-6s. We built new houses on the land and set up a small community of transgenics. It was a beautiful thing. Zane visited every so often, along with others that he found. Some stayed, some left, some found love.
About one year later, Zane showed up with the biggest surprise ever, Zack! Whatever those butchers at Manticore did, they had managed to not only save him, but also bring him back to life. It was a miracle. Over the years, things changed between us all. Those of us, who had relied on Zack for protection and help, were now helping him. It was a slow process, but over the first seven months Zack did get better. He was never quite as strong as he once was, but at least he was alive.
Eventually, Zack and I began to talk more. I told him about Logan, about leaving and never looking back. About how Logan treated Alec, and how Logan treated him. I apologized if Logan ever hurt his feelings. I had never noticed it before. Zack listened. He never did anything but listen, holding my hand, stroking my hair and comforting me in my misery. I began to fall in love with him. Eventually Zack and I moved in together and started a family of our own. We had a beautiful daughter with in the first year and a son two years later. I was content. I was happy.
Over the years, we all still watched the Eyes Only broadcasts. More than once, we thought they were meant for us. Subtle messages about the 'perfect soldiers' and how they were being hunted. There were more than 100 of us living in Santa Fe by the time Eyes Only stopped his broadcasting about the Manticore soldiers. I didn't miss it.
But now here I am, back in Seattle, ten years later. Zack and kids are home. I traveled up for Cindy's wedding. I'm glad I kept in touch with her and Kendra over the years. It was so nice to see them again. Seattle looked worse then ever. The roads and buildings were all a mess; rubble laid everywhere.
We all met at the Crash for a beer; the whole gang was there. Cindy, Kendra, Sketchy, Herbal, even Normal showed up. We had quite the good time. Cindy's girlfriend is so very nice and so sweet. She and Cindy seem happy together, and even happier that they can now legally marry. The pre-wedding party wrapped up around dawn and everyone scuttled off to their beds. I crashed for a while at Kendra's place, but I never really was a good sleeper. So I left Kendra a note and went for a walk.
And now I'm stopped, dead in my tracks, staring up at his apartment. I can see him in there, still wheeling around. I wonder if he even uses his braces anymore. I must have been in quite the daze, because Bling scared the hell out of me. "Max."
He said, in that deep steady voice. "That you?"
"Yea." I answered and turned toward him. I didn't really feel like elaborating.
"You gonna go talk to him, or just stand here?" Bling asked.
"I don't want to see him. And I doubt he wants to see me." I said.
"Max." Bling said, turning me towards him. "Logan loves you. Always has always will. He is still trying to find you. He's had his informants everywhere looking, but every time he thinks he's close, you're not there."
"Maybe because I don't want to be found." I said. "I'm happy now."
"I'm glad you're happy." He said, emphasizing the word you're, "Too bad Logan can't be happy too. You're all he talks about. Even when he tracks down another transgenic, he still asks if they know you."
"Well, I'm really sorry." I said sarcastically. "I couldn't be his go-to girl. I was tired of the way he treated me."
"How was he supposed to treat you?" Bling asked. "You came back to him with a deadly touch. What was he supposed to do? You started treating him differently."
"Everything had changed." I said. "We had no future together, but he was trying to act like nothing was wrong."
"Because he loves you." Bling interjected.
"But," I said, "he continuously treated my family like crap. Even before. When Zack came around, Logan treated him like competition. And he treated Alec that way too. He even treated Joshua like crap. I was tired of it. He didn't treat Tinga's husband like that. And I know why. Logan was just as prejudiced as the rest of the world is toward us."
"Yea." Bling said. "So now, here you are, watching him from a distance. At least give the man a chance and go see him. He loves you."
I looked at Bling. "I'm married now."
"You're what?" He asked.
"Married." I said, taking a deep breath. "Zack didn't die. Manticore fixed him. We fell in love and we married. Not traditionally, but we are together, we have kids."
Bling didn't say another word; he just looked up at the man in the window and walked away from me. I stood there, for about another hour or so before leaving.
I walked back to Kendra's apartment and began to get ready for the wedding. Zack had gone to town and got me the most beautiful dress I had ever seen. So now, I was pulling myself into these damn pantyhose and pulling on my light pink dress. I did my hair, curly. I liked the way it looked curly. Kendra and I talked; we caught up. Then went on to the wedding. The wedding was wonderful. There were fresh flowers everywhere and so many people cried. Cindy's mother came for the wedding, along with her brothers. It was so nice. The reception was a blast. Normal had rented a warehouse just for Cindy. I think he'd gone soft over the years. He had even borrowed tables and chairs from a friend. We danced and laughed and had a great time.
And all too soon, it was over and it was time for me to get going. I said my good byes to everyone. Cindy and I cried. Kendra made me promise that I would visit again soon. Sketchy even shed a tear when I left. I really did miss my friends in Seattle. I loaded back on to my bike and began heading out of Seattle. I reached the first border stop about twenty minutes later. I could see Logan's apartment from my place in line. And stupidly, turned back towards it. I arrived at Logan's at five in the morning and scaled up to his penthouse. I quietly eased in and dropped to the hallway floor. I slowly walked back to his bedroom, where he lay comfortably in his bed. I stood there, watching him.
His eyes popped open and grabbed for his glasses and handgun. "Don't shoot." I said. "I'm not armed."
"Max?" He half growled.
"Yea." I said. "I was in town for a wedding and thought I'd drop by to say hello and good bye. I really never said good bye before."
"Max." He said again and pulled himself out of bed. "God, Max. I've missed you." He wheeled over to me. "How are you?"
"Still deadly to the touch." I said, pulling back from him.
"Of course." He said, he almost sounded upset. "Well, how long are you going to be here?"
"I was on my way out of town and something possessed me to stop by first." I said. "I guess Bling didn't tell you he saw me."
"No." Logan said. "He didn't. How come you're leaving? Can't you stay? Just for a little bit."
"No." I said. "I've gotta get home."
"Home." He repeated. "To what? You're crappy job and hovel of an apartment with Joshua? And Alec, I presume."
"You presume too much." I scoffed. "Alec does live near by. He and an X-6 that he married. I meant I needed to get home to my family. My husband and children."
He looked as though I had just slapped him in the face. "Husband? Children?" He said.
"Yes." I answered. "Zack and I and our children, we are happy. I'm happy. I'm happier now than I ever was."
"Then why are you here, in my apartment, just come to rip my heart out again?" He asked.
"No." I said. "I came for closure. To tell you to move on with your life. Get up and get out, don't sit here waiting for me."
"You think you are so special!" He screamed. "You think that after ten years you can just waltz in here and tell me get on with my life. I've spent ten years searching for you. I've missed you every day for ten long years. How many did you spend missing me, a day, maybe a month? Get out."
"I did miss you." I said. "Every day, I missed you. Every day I told Joshua that I was coming back here and every day I stopped myself. You stopped me."
"Me?" He said. "How did I stop you?"
"That attitude, you care about every thing and every body, except me and mine." I said. "Every time I wanted you, wanted to come back to you. I just remembered how you treated my family. And I didn't come."
"And Zack?" He asked.
"I found comfort in Zack. And eventually fell in love with him." I said. "And I do love him with all of my heart. All of his heart, actually. We're together forever now."
And with that I turned and left. I did still miss Logan. His friendship, his companionship. But I never once missed that attitude.
Title: I'm Happy Now
Author: The Peanut Butter General
Genres: Story Angst Alternate universe.
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Proof of Purchase
Summary: Max/Logan/Zack and others, no sex involved! *Max leaves Seattle after a fight with Logan
DISCLAIMER: All characters who appear in this story belong to their respective creators, including Cameron/Eglee Productions and 20th Century Studios. No money is being made from the use of these characters.
I had left Seattle ten years ago. We had a horrible fight; me and Logan. He spent countless hours begging me to help his friend Asha, I didn't want to, but I knew I would. Alec had come to Logan's that night; he looked as though someone or something had kicked his ass. I rose quickly to tend to him. He said he was fine and pushed me away, and he started to warn me about a possible attack on the transgenics. Before Alec could even finish, Logan cut him off. First by snapping some comment about how "you people" never knock, mainly meaning my people and then telling Alec that I didn't need him. My mouth dropped open. I had heard him use that tone of voice before, whenever Zack was around. It was like he thought he owned me or somehow commanded me.
Well, that night, I was in no mood for it. I quickly grabbed Alec's arm and half dragged him out of the apartment. I ignored Logan's pages for the next three days. It was actually quite easy; Alec, Joshua and I were staying in an old house in Sector Four. Kendra moved back in with Cindy to help pay the rent. And no one knew where to find me. About a week later, Cindy said Logan had come looking for me at the apartment. She said he looked horrible and felt bad about what happened. I told her if Logan came back to tell him to go to hell. Cindy didn't ask any questions, she could tell I was mad. I ignored Logan's pages for about another two weeks, until his new messenger girl came calling.
I had met Cindy and Sketchy for a drink and in walks Asha, telling me that Logan missed me and that she couldn't believe I was mad at him. Then went on to practically berate me about my family showing up at his place. I was mad, maybe a little moody too. I told her to tell Logan that he wouldn't have to worry about it anymore; I had been spending way too much time there anyway. I stormed out of the bar that night. A few days later I confronted Logan, before leaving Seattle for good. I
had stormed into his apartment, without knocking, no announcement, I just threw myself into the apartment and started screaming at him. "You want my family out of your life, fine! We're all out! You treated Zack like shit every time he was in town. You treat Alec like he's an annoyance, just because he can help me and you and your sorry ass can't! You treat everyone I love like they are nothing, like they don't meet the "Logan Cale" Seal of Approval. So Fine, I'm out. Gone, Ba-bye."
I didn't even wait for him to speak; I just stormed back out of the apartment. Well, actually I did a little more than that. I sort of kicked the door off the hinges. Looking back on that now, I probably shouldn't have. But I left that night, Joshua following me. We settled in Santa Fe. Even got a nice place, kind of out of the way. The nearest people were more than twenty miles away. Joshua could be free here, provided he stayed out of town. Alec moved down with us a few months later, followed by Jondy, Krit, Syl and a barrage of X-6s. We built new houses on the land and set up a small community of transgenics. It was a beautiful thing. Zane visited every so often, along with others that he found. Some stayed, some left, some found love.
About one year later, Zane showed up with the biggest surprise ever, Zack! Whatever those butchers at Manticore did, they had managed to not only save him, but also bring him back to life. It was a miracle. Over the years, things changed between us all. Those of us, who had relied on Zack for protection and help, were now helping him. It was a slow process, but over the first seven months Zack did get better. He was never quite as strong as he once was, but at least he was alive.
Eventually, Zack and I began to talk more. I told him about Logan, about leaving and never looking back. About how Logan treated Alec, and how Logan treated him. I apologized if Logan ever hurt his feelings. I had never noticed it before. Zack listened. He never did anything but listen, holding my hand, stroking my hair and comforting me in my misery. I began to fall in love with him. Eventually Zack and I moved in together and started a family of our own. We had a beautiful daughter with in the first year and a son two years later. I was content. I was happy.
Over the years, we all still watched the Eyes Only broadcasts. More than once, we thought they were meant for us. Subtle messages about the 'perfect soldiers' and how they were being hunted. There were more than 100 of us living in Santa Fe by the time Eyes Only stopped his broadcasting about the Manticore soldiers. I didn't miss it.
But now here I am, back in Seattle, ten years later. Zack and kids are home. I traveled up for Cindy's wedding. I'm glad I kept in touch with her and Kendra over the years. It was so nice to see them again. Seattle looked worse then ever. The roads and buildings were all a mess; rubble laid everywhere.
We all met at the Crash for a beer; the whole gang was there. Cindy, Kendra, Sketchy, Herbal, even Normal showed up. We had quite the good time. Cindy's girlfriend is so very nice and so sweet. She and Cindy seem happy together, and even happier that they can now legally marry. The pre-wedding party wrapped up around dawn and everyone scuttled off to their beds. I crashed for a while at Kendra's place, but I never really was a good sleeper. So I left Kendra a note and went for a walk.
And now I'm stopped, dead in my tracks, staring up at his apartment. I can see him in there, still wheeling around. I wonder if he even uses his braces anymore. I must have been in quite the daze, because Bling scared the hell out of me. "Max."
He said, in that deep steady voice. "That you?"
"Yea." I answered and turned toward him. I didn't really feel like elaborating.
"You gonna go talk to him, or just stand here?" Bling asked.
"I don't want to see him. And I doubt he wants to see me." I said.
"Max." Bling said, turning me towards him. "Logan loves you. Always has always will. He is still trying to find you. He's had his informants everywhere looking, but every time he thinks he's close, you're not there."
"Maybe because I don't want to be found." I said. "I'm happy now."
"I'm glad you're happy." He said, emphasizing the word you're, "Too bad Logan can't be happy too. You're all he talks about. Even when he tracks down another transgenic, he still asks if they know you."
"Well, I'm really sorry." I said sarcastically. "I couldn't be his go-to girl. I was tired of the way he treated me."
"How was he supposed to treat you?" Bling asked. "You came back to him with a deadly touch. What was he supposed to do? You started treating him differently."
"Everything had changed." I said. "We had no future together, but he was trying to act like nothing was wrong."
"Because he loves you." Bling interjected.
"But," I said, "he continuously treated my family like crap. Even before. When Zack came around, Logan treated him like competition. And he treated Alec that way too. He even treated Joshua like crap. I was tired of it. He didn't treat Tinga's husband like that. And I know why. Logan was just as prejudiced as the rest of the world is toward us."
"Yea." Bling said. "So now, here you are, watching him from a distance. At least give the man a chance and go see him. He loves you."
I looked at Bling. "I'm married now."
"You're what?" He asked.
"Married." I said, taking a deep breath. "Zack didn't die. Manticore fixed him. We fell in love and we married. Not traditionally, but we are together, we have kids."
Bling didn't say another word; he just looked up at the man in the window and walked away from me. I stood there, for about another hour or so before leaving.
I walked back to Kendra's apartment and began to get ready for the wedding. Zack had gone to town and got me the most beautiful dress I had ever seen. So now, I was pulling myself into these damn pantyhose and pulling on my light pink dress. I did my hair, curly. I liked the way it looked curly. Kendra and I talked; we caught up. Then went on to the wedding. The wedding was wonderful. There were fresh flowers everywhere and so many people cried. Cindy's mother came for the wedding, along with her brothers. It was so nice. The reception was a blast. Normal had rented a warehouse just for Cindy. I think he'd gone soft over the years. He had even borrowed tables and chairs from a friend. We danced and laughed and had a great time.
And all too soon, it was over and it was time for me to get going. I said my good byes to everyone. Cindy and I cried. Kendra made me promise that I would visit again soon. Sketchy even shed a tear when I left. I really did miss my friends in Seattle. I loaded back on to my bike and began heading out of Seattle. I reached the first border stop about twenty minutes later. I could see Logan's apartment from my place in line. And stupidly, turned back towards it. I arrived at Logan's at five in the morning and scaled up to his penthouse. I quietly eased in and dropped to the hallway floor. I slowly walked back to his bedroom, where he lay comfortably in his bed. I stood there, watching him.
His eyes popped open and grabbed for his glasses and handgun. "Don't shoot." I said. "I'm not armed."
"Max?" He half growled.
"Yea." I said. "I was in town for a wedding and thought I'd drop by to say hello and good bye. I really never said good bye before."
"Max." He said again and pulled himself out of bed. "God, Max. I've missed you." He wheeled over to me. "How are you?"
"Still deadly to the touch." I said, pulling back from him.
"Of course." He said, he almost sounded upset. "Well, how long are you going to be here?"
"I was on my way out of town and something possessed me to stop by first." I said. "I guess Bling didn't tell you he saw me."
"No." Logan said. "He didn't. How come you're leaving? Can't you stay? Just for a little bit."
"No." I said. "I've gotta get home."
"Home." He repeated. "To what? You're crappy job and hovel of an apartment with Joshua? And Alec, I presume."
"You presume too much." I scoffed. "Alec does live near by. He and an X-6 that he married. I meant I needed to get home to my family. My husband and children."
He looked as though I had just slapped him in the face. "Husband? Children?" He said.
"Yes." I answered. "Zack and I and our children, we are happy. I'm happy. I'm happier now than I ever was."
"Then why are you here, in my apartment, just come to rip my heart out again?" He asked.
"No." I said. "I came for closure. To tell you to move on with your life. Get up and get out, don't sit here waiting for me."
"You think you are so special!" He screamed. "You think that after ten years you can just waltz in here and tell me get on with my life. I've spent ten years searching for you. I've missed you every day for ten long years. How many did you spend missing me, a day, maybe a month? Get out."
"I did miss you." I said. "Every day, I missed you. Every day I told Joshua that I was coming back here and every day I stopped myself. You stopped me."
"Me?" He said. "How did I stop you?"
"That attitude, you care about every thing and every body, except me and mine." I said. "Every time I wanted you, wanted to come back to you. I just remembered how you treated my family. And I didn't come."
"And Zack?" He asked.
"I found comfort in Zack. And eventually fell in love with him." I said. "And I do love him with all of my heart. All of his heart, actually. We're together forever now."
And with that I turned and left. I did still miss Logan. His friendship, his companionship. But I never once missed that attitude.