Hi! I just couldn't resist writing this. I love one-shots with a funny twist at the end! Do I own anything? The sad answer is no, I do not.
"WHERE IS IT? WHERE DID YOU TAKE IT!" James, Sirius, and Peter heard. They all turned around.
"Remus! Remus, chill!" said James, trying to calm him.
"Where did you put it? What have you done with it?"
"Remus! Remus! Dude, it was for your own good!" exclaimed Sirius.
Our favorite werewolf wasn't looking too well. He seemed ready to lunge at someone, rocking back and forth, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, leaning forward. He almost seemed to froth at the mouth. A manic look gleamed in his eye as he glared at his three best friends, head tilted toward the ground, withering them with the angry look in his usually soft brown eyes as he intensely glared through his eyebrows. He seemed crazed, insane, even. He laughed maniacally as if to prove our point.
"Remus..." Peter soothed. "Remus... it's gone." He said gently.
"NOOOOOOOO!" He screamed, breaking into a wild fit on the ground, spazzing out in all directions. It almost looked like a seizure. After maybe five minutes of his carrying on, everything went black for Remus, and he was finally still.
"What the bloody hell did you do that for?" yelled James.
"How else was I supposed to calm him down? He was going to hurt himself!" exclaimed Sirius, defending himself.
"So you punched him?"
"In the shoulder?" asked Peter meekly.
"You'd be surprised to see the full extent of my knowledge of pressure points."
"Why did you bother to learn them?"
"Ha! Funny story, actually. Once, my dear old mummy decided to make me hug Kreatcher as punishment for... well, you don't need to know that. Long story short, I went wild, and punched her in the temple just the right way to knock her out. She woke up 4 hours later, not remembering anything."
James gasped. This was an like a whole new education! How many things could he do with this newfound possible power? Oooooh, so many possibilities...
"So what's going to happen to Moony?" asked Peter.
"Oh, he'll have a nice dreamless sleep for a couple of hours. He'll still remember everything though, but it will take a while to come back to him. We can break the news gently."
Peter looked down sadly.
"Poor Remy. But it was a horrid obsession. It was getting unhealthy, really."
"Don't worry, Peter." assured James. "We'll get him help. He's strong. He has willpower. It will be hard, but he'll get over his addiction someday."
"Someday..." Sirius said thoughtfully.
4 HOURS LATER
"Where am I?" asked Remus groggily. Slowly, the blurred figures came into focus. The shortest one started to bounce up and down.
"Remus! Oh, Hurray! You're okay!" The short(but not small) figure threw himself at Remus.
"Peter? Peter, get off me!"
The two taller figures pulled Peter off of Remus.
"James? Sirius? Uuuuuurg, my head hurts... I need some-"
Remus' pupils dilated as he took in a sharp gust of air.
"No!"
"Remus, calm down. It's okay. We're here. It's going to be alright."
"Noooo! No, it isn't going to be alright! Because YOU-" Remus pointed his finger accusingly at the three currently sane marauders. "took my secret stash away! It's gone now! Gone! I LIVE on that stuff! And you took it all away!"
"Remus?" asked Peter timidly.
"What?" Remus responded sharply.
"I was just wondering... how did you get addicted in the first place?"
At first Remus got angry. But then his eyes took on a faraway look.
"Well... I was walking along the city, and I went into a store. There it was, eyeing me. I got curious. What would it be like? So I tried one little piece... and I couldn't stop. I just kept consuming it until... I became one with it. It became a part of me. I felt that if I gave up that part of me, that I couldn't live. That it would be like giving away a lung, or my heart. So I didn't stop. I couldn't. And I didn't want to, anyway. It was just too good."
Sirius let out a breath. "Wow. That must be really hard, man."
"It is. And it always will be."
"Not always." said James. "We'll help you get through this. You're not alone."
Remus nodded. He vowed to never consume it irresponsibly ever again. He would never again get addicted to the richness, the creaminess...
Chocolate.
There you have it! Remus was a chocoholic. I'm sure that a lot of you reading this are fellow chocoholics. I also bet that some of you were surprised that he was addicted to chocolate, and not something else. I hope you enjoyed!