AN: Sorry for the delay, but my summer Philosophy class was surprisingly difficult. Now that it's over, (and Improv should be MUCH less writing), I should be back to posting more often.

AN2: Huge thanks to Bathtub Literature for the story idea. I really loved writing your suggestion. Again, sorry it took me so long. Best of luck in your own Philosophy class.

Fiyero was coolness personified. Untouched by any resemblance of anxiety, and the very vision of grace and poise. The famed and scandalacious Prince served as a carefree inspiration to all.

So there was no way he'd be going out on that ice.

He lounged lazily against the rail, watching Galinda twirl through a complicated pattern. She looked pretty, but most importantly, she looked upright. He allowed himself to appreciate that unfathomable skill.

"No glide, gliiiide." Boq chanted to Elphaba as she tried to glower the ice into submission. He was half-surprised it didn't melt. "Yes, there, that's it." It wasn't. She was so terrible, in the most utterly endearing way. But Boq's attention had wandered to the blonde beauty whirling around the rink.

He abandoned Elphaba to chase her roommate comically through her arcs around the rink. Fiyero let out a laugh as Galinda unknowing sent the munchkin in a half-loop that almost trampled a pair of little girls.

Elphaba scowled in his direction. "What're you chortling at?"

He did not chortle. His laugh was a musical lilt. "Just watching you skate."

She raised an eyebrow. "Mr. Dancing-Through-Life is going to sit out the ice skating? Isn't this kind of frivolity right up your alley?"

He shot her a look. "I grew up in the Vinkus." She waved him on, and his look intensified. "The Vinkus is a desert."

"Oh." Her smile was smug. "So you're afraid you're not good at it."

"No." Yes. "My people just have a very healthy distrust of giant frozen pools of waters."

"If you say so."

He watched her fumble the next couple steps, and before he could even reason why he was giving in to her goading, he had his skates on. "Fine. But if I fall, I'm taking you down with me."

She snorted. With awkward, choppy steps, he made his way onto the ice. He clutched the wall and dragged himself toward her, pleased when he didn't topple over.

"Fiyero!" A blonde blur of pink accosted him, and were it not for his death grip on the wall, he would have tumbled to his feet like a fawn's first steps. "I thought you weren't skating."

"To be fair, I don't think he is."

Despite every ounce of self-preservation, he let go of the wall. He had an appearance to maintain, after all.

Galinda clutched his arm, giggling. "Oh, Fiyero, isn't ice skating splendiferous?" She hauled him with her, and only his absolute refusal kept his eyes from bugging out as they sped away from the wall. Too fast. Much too fast.

She flung herself off him to spin in a giddy twirl, and he wobbled on the thin edge of his skates. He reached out for the wall as if pure willpower could make it leap several yards closer.

"What're you doing?" Galinda had stopped her spin and looked genuinely confused to see Fiyero carefully toeing his way back toward safety.

He forced himself to straighten. "What do you mean? I'm skating."

"But…?"

With all the confidence he could muster, he added, "That's how we skate in the Vinkus. Isn't that how you skate here?"

Elphaba tumbled heavily to the ice, barely hiding her laughter. "Elphie, are you alright?" Galinda glided over to lift her friend back up.

"Yep. Just dandy." She held back a grin, eyes shining.

Boq watched Fiyero for a moment, and then adopted the same posture. For a moment, Fiyero almost asked him what he was doing, before he realized that the munchkin had believed him. He allowed himself a moment of self-satisfied awe for just how much he could convince people.

"That could be fun. So like this?" Galinda glided over, arms groping in the posture from before. "Am I doing it right?"

"A little more toe," he advised somberly, and again Elphaba nearly toppled over with muffled laughter. Galinda frowned, trying to glide and mimic his half-stumbling steps at the same time. "This is difficult. You must be really advanced."

"How much practice does it take, do you think?" Elphaba smirked from her place against the wall. "Hours and hours?"

He narrowed his eyes at her. She wanted to play? "Oh, sure. But I think the best Vinkus skaters would say it takes a certain gift. To be really graceful in the Vinkan style."

Her face split into a grin to which the others were oblivious.

"Shall I show you?" He fumbled his way across the ice to her in his best impression of his fictitious style. "I'm sure you'd like some private study." Galinda and Boq both spoke up, proclaiming that he should teach them all, but he shook his head somberly. "I think Miss Elphaba could benefit from the individual study. And she's got no bad habits from Gillikinese skating to undo. She's a blank canvas. No skill whatsoever."

Elphaba's look was not impressed.

He held out a hand and waggled an eyebrow suggestively. "Would you like me to show you how we do things?"

She crossed her arms. "Not even slightly."

"You can show me," Galinda offered, coquettishly tossing her hair. "I'd love to learn."

Ever flexible, he flashed his own grin and wrapped an arm around her waist. "Happy to oblige."

The door to the rink opened, and a dozen heavily padded boys skated on the ice. Aggressively, they spread out in force and began drilling along the length of the rink.

"Hey!" Galinda shouted as she narrowly escaped a charging stick. "What're you doing? We were here first."

"Hockey time, honey." Avaric skated up, a smarmy sneer on his face as he watched Boq mimic the manufactured Vinkan style. "Time for the real men to use the ice." His eyes slid to Fiyero, registering genuine surprise. "Oh, you're with the powder puff league? I thought you didn't do skating?"

"Trust me, he doesn't." As soon as she'd said it, Elphaba seemed to regret the words, as if she'd sided with an even worse creature by accident.

Fiyero threw on his most nonchalant air. "Not my sport."

Avaric nodded in agreement. "To each their own, I guess." He leaned on his stick. "You wanna join today? Get in a workout?"

"Nah, not today." He nodded at Galinda meaningfully, and Avaric grinned.

"Oh, yeah, I'll leave you to it."

A large boy behind him grunted. "Yeah, right. He's just afraid we'll hurt his pretty little face." As a matter of fact…

"Shut up, Knobes." Avaric shoved his teammate's shoulder. "Why're you admiring his face for, anyway? Maybe you should be with the powder puff league."

"I didn't say I admired his face."

"Called it pretty. Been thinking about his face a lot?"

Fiyero slipped an arm around Galinda. "Sorry, mate. Also not my cup of tea."

Avaric chortled at him, and the rest of the team fell to pestering Knobes until the crisis had passed. Fiyero let out a breath of relief, and glanced at Elphaba, surprised to see eyes narrowed in his direction.

"What?"

She rolled her eyes. "Oz, anything for your precious reputation."

Galinda looked over when he dropped his arm, and caught sight of her roommate's glare. "Oh, do you want to go, Elphie?" She whispered an unneeded explanation, "She doesn't like Avaric very much."

"I'm sure she doesn't want to learn how to skate with them all trying to knock her over, either," Boq chimed in with an uneasy glance at the bullish players closest to him.

"Or maybe I don't want everyone speaking for me as if I'm too afraid to do so for myself. Honestly, since when have I been known not to speak my mind?"

Galinda started to answer, then caught herself when Elphaba started to blush. Now that was interesting. Fiyero leaned toward her as if he could see her thoughts. What in Oz could actually make the unshakeable Elphaba blush?

Before he could pursue it, a puck came whizzing straight for him. He scrambled back, just enough to clear the path, but his sudden movement knocked Galinda off-balance and into a bulky player.

The oaf shoved her back, and she slammed Fiyero forward to smack rather gracelessly flat into Elphaba and against the wall. It knocked the breath out of her, and she glared at him as if it were all his fault. Which it was, perhaps, indirectly.

"Sorry," he offered, his hands steadying her at the waist. So close, her blush seemed darker. Did…was she blushing because of him? Not that he was a stranger to female attention, but he'd never imagined Elphaba could feel that way.

A cocky grin wandered onto his face, and she scowled from where he had her trapped against the wall. "Get off me, you big lummox. I'd like to breathe."

"Do I take your breath away?"

She shoved him hard in the stomach.

He let her go, but he grinned after her. "Not a 'no'."

"Why don't you go 'tutor' Galinda on your imaginary skating style and leave me in peace?"

He moved closer. "If you remember, I was quite adamant about wanting to teach you."

"As if you could teach me anything."

"I'd love to teach you any number of things." She didn't press his come-on, but her blush drove him to distraction. He followed her down the rink.

"Go away. Why do you insist on bothering me?"

Honestly, he had no good reason. He found her blush oddly fascinating, but he was never one to pursue for the sake of the chase. Why bother when there were a hundred easier options? He settled for, "You're very botherable."

"That's not a word."

"Is."

She snorted. "And that's not even a sentence."

"Isn't it?"

"Oz, you're insufferable."

"So insufferable's a word, but botherable isn't?"

She stopped skating to stare at him as if he were incredibly stupid. Then resumed without attempting to answer.

"See, irrefutable logic."

"You know irrefutable, but not insufferable? I'd have thought you heard the second one far more often."

He ran a hand through his hair. "Can we stop talking about vocabulary? You're making this about as fun as Literature with Professor Doxly."

"Feel free to leave."

He considered doing just that, but a glance at where Avaric stood flexing for Galinda held him short. To skate to her, he'd have to skate in front of everyone, and he'd rather not expose his deficiency if not strictly necessary. "I'm bored. Let's go get hot chocolate."

"Oz, what is it about this you don't understand?" She turned to glare at him. "I am not your babysitter. You are free to wander about and entertain yourself however you see fit."

"And if how I see fit is pestering you?"

She sighed heavily. "Go away."

He maneuvered in front of her and caught her wrist. "See, if we were dancing, this would be much more worthwhile." He reached for her waist, but she spun away.

"We're not, and this is not 'going away.'"

But he had found a realization. He could dance, and skating didn't seem independently that different. He reached for her again, surprised when her shove actually sent him wobbling to land flat on his rear. That ice was cold. Very cold. Not at all butt-friendly. He hauled himself up. "That was uncalled for."

"What?" Her eyes were hysterically wide. "I told you at least three times to leave me alone, but you persist in pestering me for no reason than your own insecurities."

"Wait now, insecurity?" He propped himself in a casual pose against the wall. "Have we met? Handsome playboy prince…remember?"

"The trouble with shallow thoughts, Fiyero? They're easy to read." She eyed Galinda meaningfully, and the long span of ice in between.

He refused to blush. How did she cut through him like that? "And if I like being shallow?"

That look again. He felt naked, more than physically, as that usually didn't bother him. Exposed. He took a subconscious step back.

"I'll have you know I have a deep appreciation for the shallow things in life."

She didn't bother to glance at him. "If you did, you'd have flounced your way off to some bimbo, pouted your little puppy eyes, and wandered off to…I don't know, compliment yourself. You wouldn't be wasting your time on me."

True. Galinda might be across the rink, but he wasn't really that picky. He could be flirting with any number of passably pretty girls that would fall all over themselves to boost his ego, skater or not. He shrugged. "I like pestering you. You're…interesting."

"Am I? Lucky me."

He grinned. "At last, we finally agree."

"Well if you're going to annoy me, why don't you at least try to learn how to skate? In an actual style."

He watched her next couple steps, and sighed. "It looks hard."

She rolled her eyes. "Oz forbid you do anything that might be the least bet challenging."

He toed his way ahead of her and tilted his head to best highlight his dimples. "I can think of more rewarding ways to pass our time."

"As can I, but I think you've grown fond of keeping all your body parts."

He leaned close. "How scandalous. Which body parts of mine have you been thinking about?"

She hid her blush in a scowl. "I think if you'd stop fighting so hard to avoid effort, you'd actually make a fairly good skater. Better than me."

Probably. Graceful was not a word he associated with her. Intimidating, intelligent, determined, yes. But not graceful. "Well, you'd probably do a lot better if you'd stop obsessing about it. It's ice skating, not open heart surgery."

"Says the one who can't skate."

"Ditto."

She stopped to stare at him. "Why don't you want to try, anyway? Are you really that concerned that someone might see you?" His eyes subconsciously flicked to Avaric, and she shook her head. "You don't have to be perfect, you know."

A grin spread across his face. "Why, Miss Elphaba, you think I'm nearly perfect?"

"Not what I said."

"It sorta was."

She started to say something when they heard Boq bellow out a falsely brave, "Stop!" Fiyero looked over to see the munchkin cornered by Knobes and three of his friends, who were tossing a puck inches from Boq's face in a demented game of catch.

Elphaba started toward them, but Fiyero caught her arm. "You'll make it worse." She wanted to argue, but he held her firm. "At best, what do you think will they'll say if he's has to be saved by a girl?"

"That's the stupidest chauvinistic-"

"Still true."

She shook him off. "Well I'm not going to just watch them assault him."

Fiyero drew in a heavy breath. He wanted more than anything not to do what he was about to. Why hadn't he stayed on the bench where he could have slipped away? No one would've known about his spectacular lack of talent. He could have bluffed his way through in peace.

Instead he fumbled his way across the ice in the most pathetic display of skatesmanship Oz had ever witnessed. No one jeered, but he felt the looks of the others fall on him as they stopped skating to watch. In all his life, Fiyero had never felt less than beloved – fame far beyond popularity. But as he skated awkwardly across the ice, he felt what Elphaba must have felt at that dance – the shock, then amusement at his total embarrassment.

He reached the cluster of jocks tormenting the munchkin and stepped into the circle. Unaware, Knobes flung the puck, but Fiyero caught it before it could hit. "That's enough."

Knobes looked at him with a measuring sneer. "Oh, cause you say so? Or is it munchkins are your 'cup of tea', huh?"

Fiyero stood his ground with a calm, "You had your fun. Let it go."

The beefy boy pushed his chest out and shoved his jaw right into Fiyero's face. "You gonna make me?"

He weighed his options. He could probably save a little face by punching the thug, and truth be told, no one would intervene. He could hold his own, ice or not, and a busted face could repair his reputation in its own way.

But they'd turn on Boq. And the munchkin would get massacred. So he flipped the puck to one of the others behind him and skated back a fumbling step. "Boq?"

The boy burst past him to get free of the group, and zoomed across the rink in a blink. Fiyero turned and wobbled forward. He could feel Knobes aggression, and for a moment he thought the boy would tackle him.

But then he heard a huff of laughter. It deepened, and soon all four were echoing with raucous guffaws. "You look like a drunk pigeon! Lurline, no wonder you didn't want to skate with us. You're terrible!"

Elphaba had reached him, and she sneered back at Knobes. "At least he's not an imbecilic cretin." Her eyes blazed, but when she glanced at him, he caught a hint of approval. Even admiration. At least something good had come of it.

"Oh, shut up, Greenie."

He chanced a sidelong glance at Elphaba, and cooed back, "Now, Knobes, don't be jealous."

"Jealous? Of what?" He snorted a laugh. "Your skating skills? I don't think I've ever seen anyone as terrible as you."

He shrugged. "Maybe not. I like to focus my talents elsewhere." Before she could protest, he caught Elphaba around the waist and hauled her to him for a wild, fierce kiss. "For the record, kid, that's my cup of tea."

He couldn't help a touch of vanity at the catcalls.

"Go on back to your little game. Maybe when you're all grown up, I'll explain what adults do as a better use of their time. Some things are more important than skating." Elphaba would kill him, that much was certain, but he took the lack of a slap as a tacit approval. As such, she'd wait to murder him when there weren't any witnesses.

And for that, he almost kissed her again. Just for that, of course.