Don't ask what this is. I honestly don't know. An insane fic? Slightly, yes. Something else......most likely. Twisted SasuSaku? That, too. Please review and tell me if I should continue this, let it drop, or something else. Also, I need to know if I should leave this a oneshot (not likely), a twoshot (theres a possibility) or turn it into a full-length fic (LOTS of fun and excitement and scary insanness there!)

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, it would be nothing like it is now. It would be MUCH darker.

She laughed happily and skipped around the room, her pink hair flowing behind her. "La di da da dum dum dum dee dee!" she sang, her voice filled with happiness. He just stared at her disbelievingly, fear in his eyes.

She turned to him and he began quivering in fright. This was not the girl that had tried to stop him from leaving all those years ago, nor was this the teen who had tried to save him from Orochimaru. She was a woman now; had a beautiful, curvy figure, short hair that was cropped much like his own, but in a more feminine style, and glowing emerald eyes filled with warmth and happiness. But he got shivers down his spine when she turned her eyes on him. This was a fear he couldn't shake off; he, Sasuke Uchiha, was scared of nothing at all, but just by looking at him, she made him quake. The girl that he thought was pathetic, annoying, and useless all those years ago was striking a shinobi's deepest hidden cord: fear. He could tell that beneath her shining, happy, polished exterior she was ruthless; much more ruthless than himself, Orochimaru, even more ruthless than Madara. Perhaps she was more ruthless than all of them put together.

She cocked her head to the side in a way that was obviously natural to her and strikingly innocent to any onlookers (not that there were any). "What's wrong, Sasuke-kun? You look frightened or something. Is Nyoko scaring you?" she asked, petting the hideous (though obviously harmless)….thing, on her shoulder. It had hideous gray/brown/green wrinkled, scabbed skin, two large toxic-yellow bulbous eyes; thirteen lime green tails, and sharp, spindly arms that ended in not razor-like fingers but fingers that resembled a gecko's rounded, sticky appendages. It had beautiful feathered wings on its shoulders that were bloody crimson and totally contrasted the rest of its body.

She caught him staring at Nyoko the……. 'thing'. "Oh, you like her? Isn't she adorable?" she cooed, petting the creature's head. He just stared at the female, slowly becoming more freaked out about her odd behavior. She turned to him again, and her emerald eyes gradually bled into an odd silver eye-technique. It was, as aforementioned, silvery, and it had multiple rings around the small pupil.

"This is the Rinnegan, Sasuke-kun. Only my brother and I possess it currently" she sang, caressing his cheek with a feather-like touch. He stiffened, becoming as stiff as a board. She stared into his Sharingan with her own Rinnegan, and she sighed as he broke into a cold sweat from the malice that she was unconsciously emanating. "Sasuke-kun, Sasuke-kun. You have nothing to be afraid of" she laughed, hugging him as a reassuring gesture. Then her exposed skin that was grazing his topless form turned cold, and her voice became deep and gravelly, almost masculine, but it still held a measure of femininity in it. "Much" the voice added

Then her skin became warm again, and she retreated from the hug. "Now, Sasuke-kun, what to do with you? Madara-chan is dead, nii-chan is busy with Konan-chan and the rest of the Akatsuki, and nobody else wants to see you. Itachi-kun is dead, and Naruto-kun is busy being Rokudaime, and he probably doesn't even know where you or I am. He might even think I'm dead" she added, laughing in glee at the last sentence.

"Alright, Sasuke-kun, back to the point. Now that you're here, I'm supposed to…..what? Interrogate you? Am I supposed to be a prison guard? Nii-chan wasn't very specific" she sighed and closed her eyes in childlike annoyance. "All he said was 'put the Uchiha in Cell 5164' and then he left"

She smiled at him again. "So…..do you want to play until then, Sasuke-kun? No one else is in the base. It's just you and me"

She paused a minute, then added: "Well, I suppose that your nation's ANBU and Naruto-kun's personal ANBU searching the base could mean that we aren't alone but…..it's true. No one hears you in this room" she smiled radiantly at the end of that sentence. Then she frowned slightly, looking like a lost puppy. Sasuke began to relax after ten minutes of her and 'Nyoko's silence, but just when he began to loosen his tight muscles, she suddenly darted across the room and grabbed a book out of a wooden chest. She flashed back to him and sat in his lap. With his hands tied behind his back like they were, he couldn't push her off or away like he would have in their Genin days. Not that he would even if they weren't tied in fear of this strange-but-familiar kunoichi's actions as a consequence.

"Wanna see my photo album?" she asked, flashing him a brilliant smile that was, once again, almost childlike, and would have looked unnatural on any other 22-year-old woman. But not on her.

Absently he wondered why it didn't bother her that he was silent. Back in their Genin days she would have been fawning all over him because he was so amazingly 'hot' when he acted 'cold'. But now it seemed….natural that she was talking to someone frozen in horror not odd in the slightest.

Seemingly sensing his thoughts, she turned to him with a small smile upon her face. "Don't worry about anything, Sasuke-kun. I'm not here to hurt you. Well, not yet, at least. Nii-chan wasn't exactly nice about what he planned to do to you later……cuz you did, you know, kinda-sorta kill one of his members……but it's alright! I'll defend you! After all, being his younger sister and the Akatsuki interrogator has to have its benefits, right?"

Then she opened the scrapbook which had a purple leather cover. She pointed to the first picture. "Me and Nii-chan at my fourth birthday party. I couldn't remember it back when I was in Konoha because Kaa-san erased it form my memory because she didn't want me to remember my brother, but I remembered when Tsunade-shishou returned my memories to me after that one illness"

The picture showed a grinning Sakura as a young girl with a twelve-year-old orange-haired boy with his arm slung around her shoulders. He was grinning as well, and in the background you could see a blue-haired female talking to the infamous Mrs. Haruno, deceased hunternin of Konoha, deceased for fourteen years.

Sakura pointed to the picture below it. "That's me and Nii-chan currently. I put it in to see how we changed over time. Like it?"

She continued to show him the photo album for two more hours, not getting a single response from him.

She paced back and forth as the Uchiha slumped forward in his chair. Perhaps not feeding him for three days wasn't such a good idea……

But she shrugged anyway. Who cares? He was an Uchiha…….you know, the evil, cold-hearted bastard-clan from Konoha? But…..he WAS still human……..dammit. Or was he snake-ish? She honestly didn't know. It had been....what? A few years since she last saw him? He could have turned into a snake, since he was with Orochimaru. Ech. He probably lost his virginity to that gay pedophile, too. She shivered just a bit. She would have killed Orochimaru if Sasuke had not already, but even though she was stronger than him, she was fascinated by his odd experiments with the shinobi techniques handed down generation to generation. She had infiltrated his base, gone through all the traps, and filched as many books on his and Kabuto's research as possible. The Rinnegan sure helped when it came to handling those jutsus. Some of them were pretty dangerous, like the Ryuu Sora no Jutsu could-

'Getting off track, girl'' that annoying voice in her head growled. He sure was a meanie! He called himself Takeshi, which she thought fit, because he was as strict as Kakuzu-kun was before he was killed by Kakashi-sensei and Naruto-kun. Also, he was always telling her to kill people or say mean things. He wasn't very nice.

'Now now, Sakura-hime, shouldn't you tend to Sasuke-kun? He looks rather malnourished.....your nii-chan won't be home for awhile. He needs to be looked after' a gentler, more soothing voice whispered. That was Aimi. She was nice, almost motherly, like Kaa-san was. She was apparently Takeshi's sister. She always told Sakura to let all of the people go and treat them nicely, because otherwise karma would bite you for it later. Sakura rarely listened to her, but her nii-chan would let her if she wanted. She just didn't want to, since that would mean that she couldn't have her fun torturing her prisoners. Honestly, sometimes Sakura thought that Ibiki could be her father. But she knew that wasn't so. He was her uncle! Her Kaa-san's brother!

She watched Sasuke as his bare chest rose and fell with his shallow breaths of unconsciousness. She needed to get him to talk. The little-kid facade just scared him. Stage 1: Complete. Now, on to Stage 2.