On this fine day I decided to revisit the fandom and edit a fic that I wrote a long time ago. I never posted it because it was a short derpy thing. So here I am being a top notch procrastinator; homework? Nah, who needs that?
"Fujiwarano Sai from the Hein period tutored the emperor in go. After a dispute with the other instructor the two masters were ordered to play a game against each other, pivotal in the careers of both. The winner would remain at the palace and the other would have to move on elsewhere. Sai was falsely accused of cheating during the match and was exciled, resulting in his decision to commit suicide in a river three days later."
Hikaru paused to glance out the window, and idly noticed that there was a crushed fly on the outside of the glass. His free-write was supposed to be about an important historical figure, and it was worth quite an amount in his final exams. He never paid attention in class, or actually researched for papers so in his mind choosing Sai was the obvious thing to do since he could just ask about what his life had been like.
Smiling he turned back to the classroom and looked at where Sai would normally crouch next to his desk. Flinching back when an empty space filled his vision Hikaru scoured the room for his friend, but was met with nothing but his classmates and teacher. It didn't worry him, sometimes Sai skipped out on school to go watch matches at the local go salons.
'Sai hurry up and get back here so I can get a 100 on this free-write!' A few seconds later. 'Why did you choose today to leave me alone at school? I guess I'll just go on what I already know.'
"The other tutor-" 'His name doesn't matter that much right? Well I can't remember it, so it's fine.' "Was the actual cheater during the game. The two were evenly matched, so he resorted to foul play to cement his position with the emperor. He covertly slipped a misplaced stone into his captured pile, then accused Sai of his crime to cover his tracks. The emperor ordered them to continue, but Sai was emotionally wrecked by the cheating and lost sight of his next move during the endgame. In the end the investment he had put into the game was for naught; he lost the match."
'It seems even worse now that I'm writing it down…'
"Up until that point Fujiwarano Sai was the closest to achieving the Hand of God."
'I should probably put how I would have changed his actions, since I don't know much more about Sai except his time with Torojiro.'
"I believe that instead of giving up on his goal Sai should have kept moving forward without regrets. His leverage at the palace may have been revoked, but not his talent as a go player. From the very beginning Sai was a prodigy; his reputation was never a deciding factor."
Hikaru paused to sigh and scratch his head. 'But then we never would have met, and I don't want that. Sai has become an important part of my life, whether he was originally welcomed or not.' Smirking he remembered the day Sai had made him throw up during class because he had said that he wasn't going to play go. His mean streak activating Hikaru began to write again, forgetting completely that he was turning this paper in for a grade.
"He is very childish when he doesn't get his way and pouts when he is unable to play go. Go is indisputably the most important aspect of his existence. He wants to play all the time, and watches every game with interest. Though others have mocked weaker players he does not. Though he does do rude things like play teaching matches against people who are at the pro level without asking first."
He snickered, thinking of how Sai had followed him into the salon for the first time looking like he was about to be handed a hunk of chocolate.
"Actually he's willing to play teaching games with anyone, no matter what their rank." Going off on another thought tangent he slumped back in his chair, replaying Sai's match with the dishonest goban seller.
"The only thing he's truly serious about is go. When the game is disrespected he flies into a frenzied rage that no one can adjust to. When Sai is playing a serious match there is an aura that makes anyone spectating the game cringe away with fear, a power that makes his opponents cower at his feet. There are very few who have the skill to honestly challenge Fujiwarano Sai, the man who will play the Hand of God."
'You really are something, aren't you?' Feeling nostalgic Hikaru almost didn't hear his teacher calling out to the class,
"Time's up! I'm coming around to pick up your papers. If there are more than one paper clip the sheets together before I get to you." Panicking his brown eyes scanned what he had written, realizing that he had switched tenses. Sai wasn't supposed to be alive! All of those things in present tense were going to get him a bad grade and a one way ticket to therapy. Internally screaming as his teacher drew nearer to his row he began to violently scratch out the last part of his paper. Before it was completely obscured a hand grabbed it off the desk.
"Nice work Shindou-kun, it looks like you put a lot of work into this." The unspoken "unlike your other assignments" hung in the air between them. Groaning Hikaru slammed his head onto his desk in defeat as the paper was whisked away onto the growing stack. There were going to be some repercussions for this later…
'Sai where are you?' Asked grumpily. 'I was pretty nice to you just now. Come on, hurry up. We can talk about the Hand of God.' He waited. 'I'll let you play at the salon where we met Akira after class…' Two minutes later he was losing his cool. 'Sai? Why aren't you coming back?!' Since class was so close to being finished he excused himself and ran out into the hall, still calling for his absent friend.
By the time he had gotten out of the building he was whispering aloud. When he reached the street he was talking at a normal conversation volume. Five minutes later he was essentially screaming as he sprinted up and down various roads to different salons, his chest heaving with the effort.
There are two endings for this, the next section is the happy one. The second section is a lot like what actually ends up happening in the series. (Spoilers maybe? Idk really...)
After hours of searching in the city he finally found himself back at his home. Head down and spirits lower than the ground Hikaru tried to formulate an idea for finding Sai. Where else could he have gone? His family had no doubt finished eating dinner a long time ago, and he wasn't hungry anyway. Feet dragging he slipped into the bathroom to take a shower, as it had been raining for the past twenty minutes. As he stood under the warm water he wondered what he had done wrong. 'Do you hate me Sai?' Tears came unbidden, and his hair stuck to his face when he turned it away from the water.
'I know that Torajiro let you play more, but… But you can't leave me! I still need you!' He waited in vain, hoping, praying that his ghostly friend would respond or appear. Even though he was in the shower. 'We're friends right? I like go now… I'll play with you whenever you want, just come back! I can't even imagine life without you now…'
He lay in bed for hours that night, eyes peeled for the return of the go player. No matter how much he pleaded or begged his room remained devoid of the presence he yearned for, and he fell asleep with tear tracks on his cheeks.
"Torajiro? What are you doing here?" He questioned quietly. How he had managed to recognize the man was beyond him.
"I'm here to take Sai back with me. He's been gone a long time, and I miss him terribly." The older man's tone was sad, but firm. "Besides, in this place how much can he possibly play go? He must be very unhappy. I don't want him to suffer for being stuck here because of that old goban." If there was any doubt in Torajiro's mind that Sai wouldn't want to return with him it was well masked.
"No! You can't take him, he…" 'Was always praising you, hoping to see you again. You let him play all the time, allowed him to race forward in pursuit of his dream. I haven't even been giving him the chance to practice for a game where he could achieve the Hand of God.'
Silently crying he glanced around for the first time. They were standing next to a gently moving river; it was so clear that it was possible to see the assortment of stones that made up the bottom bank. Surrounding the water and the grassy area where they stood where small cherry tree saplings, no more than a few years old. A few of them were dropping their petals into the water, making circular ripples before gently beginning to float downstream. Then he saw Sai. He was coming out of the trees on the other side of the river. He began to steadily walk into the current without any regrets etched into his features.
He was going to have to stand by and watch Sai drown himself.
"Wait!" He cried out, knowing that there was a slim possibility that Sai would do so. "Go with Torajiro and leave me behind, it's better than you dying!" It escaped his mind that if Sai had never committed suicide he would have never met either of them. Tears obscuring his vision he tried to leap into the river, but was stopped by an invisible wall.
"Sai! Please no, stop! Sai!"
Sweating Hikaru jolted awake and got tangled in his blankets in the struggle to get up. He started rolling in his sheet burrito and flopped onto the floor, hurriedly yanking himself free. Then he was startled by familiar laughter coming from the corner of his room.
"Sai!" He ran over the white clad figure and tried to hug him, grab him, or even just touch him for the shortest moment. "Where were you? I thought you were never coming back and that you were going to, to…" He paused and panted, trying to catch his breath. Still amused by his earlier mishap Sai just smiled.
"I was looking around on my own. I do have a little bit of privacy you know." Sternly he looked into Hikaru's eyes before grinning again almost immediately, too fast to see Hikaru's discomfort. "I was looking at a simply beautiful set of stones in an old museum-" The purple haired ghost prattled on about the stones, not seeing how relieved his friend looked. After about five minutes of nonstop chattering his voice was halted by Hikaru interrupting him.
"Let's go to a salon tomorrow morning. You can play everyone there, alright?" The strain was still evident in his tone, but not near as much as when he had previously spoken.
"But Hikaru… You keep saying that my playing attracts attention and that it's bad to play matches in public." Sai was confused, but excited at the same time, and it made Hikaru grin gently. Even confronted with the option of doing what he loved best, playing a game, Sai was still worried about putting in his all because of past excuses.
"That doesn't matter anymore. Play your best in the matches tomorrow."
On to the second section! In case you were scrolling... The above is the happier ending and down below here is the sadder one.
He searched for hours, trying anyplace that might have a possible relation to go. At one point he entered the salon where he had first met Akira, and the other was inside at his usual board. Emotion welling up inside of him he openly refused the pro's invitation to a game. The demand more like. Sai was the only one who could do this, not him. Why had he ever thought that he was good enough to get through the ranks on his own? When it came down to it without Sai he was a loser; the teachings he had received thus far were like a drop of water from the ocean. He still had so far to go that it was impossible to be thinking that he would ever be in the same league as Sai.
"He's a prodigy," Hikaru muttered to Akira's face. "I'll never be as good as him. Why did I push him away and use him like that? All he wanted was to play." His voice cracking Hikaru turned and left the salon, leaving a very confused rival within. Pulling himself onward down roads he had never even seen or heard of before, getting hopelessly lost. As thunder rumbled overhead and dark gray clouds began to release rain he couldn't bring it in himself to care. What did he matter anyway? Sai was the superior one. He was a better friend, and a better go player than he could ever dream to be.
Trudging along with his yellow t-shirt clinging to his skin, Hikaru looked very much like a tiny kitten that had been separated from its mother. By the time he found a landmark he recognized it was well into the night, and the only illumination he received was from people's outside porch lights. Nose running and shivering he slipped off his waterlogged sneakers before sneaking through his kitchen up the stairs, hoping to be able to dry off and get to bed without alerting his mother. He was successful and yanked on some sweats and a red shirt. Sitting on his bed dejectedly Hikaru wondered where he had gone wrong. 'Did I make him mad by not letting him play? But… He will come back right? Because without me he can't play at all.'
Then he remembered that there was one last place that he had yet to look. It was so obvious that his mind must have passed it by, but it was also the most likely option for where Sai was hanging out. Grabbing an old ragged pair of running shoes and a jacket he left his house with every intention of not coming back alone for a second time.
On the way to his grandfather's house he wondered why Sai was going on strike once more. 'It really must be because I'm not letting him play that much. All he gets to do is tutor me and once in a while cream some poor guy in a run-down salon. He always talks about how much he got to play with Torajiro. I guess I'm not as good of a host to haunt as him.' Sighing he bowed his head and walked up the path to his grandfather's back door, knowing that it would be unlocked. 'He's not going to go back and wait for a better host is he?!' Urgently he slammed the door shut and bolted up the stairs to the attic, fear rushing through his veins.
The goban had been moved so that it sat below the window, directly in a shaft of moonlight. The bloodstain in the corner was so faint that he could barely see it when he squinted.
"Sai?" He whispered cautiously. Even though it was what he was eagerly awaiting he didn't expect a response.
"Hikaru." A Sai's pale outline was hardly visible, with moonlight streaming through his form. "I'm going to disappear. It seems I've long outstayed my invitation to be in this world."
"No, you can't leave me! I need you Sai, please!" His voice was desperate, grasping for anything that might save his friend from his imminent departure.
"There's nothing you can do. It's fine, I should have realized long ago that I wasn't worthy of playing the Hand of God," he sadly murmured.
"I'll play with you every day like Torajiro! We can go to tournaments and stuff! I won't play anymore, just don't go…" Hikaru felt as though his vocal cords were going to snap with the pressure he was putting on them.
"Don't berate yourself, I love being with you just as much as with Torajiro. I had a great time watching you grow as a player. Don't give up on go; you have so much potential. I'll always watch to see how you plan the next move, Hikaru…"
He blinked, and when his eyes opened Sai was gone. Immediately he bent to examine the goban board, hunting for the telltale crimson splashes. There were none. His right hand caressed the smooth wood where it had been, remembering the exact shape. A single tear dripped onto the corner.
The goban found a new home by the next morning in Hikaru's bedroom.