DISCLAIMER: I don't own twilight characters or I'm Too Sexy (song).
Meet you at the bottom.
Emmett's too sexy?
Alice's POV:
Yay! I feel a vision coming on! I thought. Lucky Edwards gone to get Bella so I can see this without him rummaging through my head.
Vision:
Emmett calling our family to the lounge room. He is wearing fireman pants and the braces, and he is all greased up.
He is putting a show on for all of us and singing, I'm too sexy. And stripping!
End vision.
Oh My Lord this is going to be hysterical!
Emmett's POV:
Where's the goddamn moisturiser? That should make me all sexy and greasy. Hahaha Rose should enjoy this. Me stripping to I'm too sexy hahaha.
Alice should already no what I'm going to do, I'll ask her to help me.
"Ali-" before I had finished calling her name she was already there.
"Yes, darling big brother of mine?" she said.
" Need you help. I knew you would already now what I'm up to and all with your SUPER cool gift, and I don't want to spoil it for the others. So what do you say?"
" Like I'm going to miss a chance in helping someone look HOT! So yes I'm in!"
" Thanks lil sis. Now you can grease my back up I can't reach."
"That's so gross Emmett! I need to shave your back first! What are doing back here? Growing a national forest?! UGH!" I knew I could completely gross her out some how.
"Fine! Shave me up! Rosalie will love you forever! She always complains about my back hair."
With that Alice was off to get her razors, and all her makeup. I hope Edward ain't home yet with the breakable human that I love. I thought.
"Alice, how long to Eddie and Bellie get home?" She looked into the future…
"Ummm, 10 mins and 37 seconds." She said coming out of her retrieve.
"Is that enough time to get me done before he gets home? I hate blocking my thoughts it's so hard!"
" It will be if we get to work straight away!"
And Alice pulled me into the bathroom and went to work. Shaving takes no time at all at vamp speed. Alice had my back shaved, my chest, bikini zone and my legs waxed in a world record time… 1 minute.
Alice instead on makeup so I had a foundation, eyeliner, lip liner, blush and all that done, even my eye lashes curled! I looked SEXY!
"Right, time to get dressed!" Alice exclaimed.
"What am I going to wear? Alice what did you see me wearing?" I asked her.
"Ok, your wearing fireman pants the braces and the hat. I didn't see you stripping, but to keep it in theme maybe go with a red thong. Can I dress you?"
"Umm, yeah ok, you have already seen me naked so many times, what's another time, right?"
"Whatever Emmett!" and she pulled me into my room again and pulled out all the stuff we needed.
"How long until Eddie gets back?" I asked, we must be getting close now.
"5 minutes, don't worry about blocking your mind until I tell you to ok." Alice told me. "well, take your Speedo's off, and put these on, I'm not watching!"
I pulled them off and put my red thong on. Crap there small! " Alice I'm covered you can turn around now."
"Get any smaller?" she mutted. Of course being a vamp I could hear her.
"I know right? Oh well smaller the better, I hope Bella throws up! Mwhahahaha!" I evil laughed.
"Hurry up Emmett, Eddie is going to be here in 3 minutes, and as soon as where've got you dressed block your mind!"
Alice and I raced through putting the pants and braces on and she placed the hat just right on my head.
Alphabet backwards
Z…Y…X…W…V…U…T…S…R…
Edward's POV:
Why is Emmett and Alice blocking there thought? I thought. Emmett was reciting the alphabet backwards and Alice was counting how much money she has and how long until she can go shopping again.
I helped my love out of the car. " What's wrong Edward?" she asked
"Nothing Bell's. Just that Emmett and Alice are up to something, there both blocking there thoughts."
"Right show time in 1 minute Emmett." I heard Alice say with my super vampire hearing.
Now they were both counting back for 60.
"Come, lets go inside and see what there up to." We walked at human pace. As me and Bella walked through the door Emmett and Alice reached 1.
Alice came zooming down the stairs and was standing in the lounge room.
"Edward. Bella. Carlisle. Esme. Jasper and Rosalie come here me and Emmett have a performance for you all to see!" Alice called.
At once everyone ran to the lounge room and I scoped Bella up bridal style and ran too.
" Emmett has a song and dance for you all so if you could kindly have a seat, he will start." Every one had a seat while Alice stood and waited. " Ok Emmett. HIT IT!" she called at the stairs.
The music started instantly. Oh no, I'm too sexy by Right Said Fred.
Bella's POV:
I heard Emmett's booming voice filter from the stairs.
"I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my love
Love is going to leave me."
Emmett entered sliding down the rail for the stairs.
He was wearing fireman pants braces and a hat.
"I'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt
So sexy it hurts."
He pulled down the braces and let them hang down by his sides.
I stuck my fingers in my mouth and wolf whistled. Everyone burst out with laughter. And Emmett winked at me.
"And I'm too sexy for Milan too sexy for Milan
New York and Japan."
"And I'm too sexy for your party" he pointed at Edward.
"Too sexy for your party
No way I'm disco dancing"
Emmett shock his head and pointed at the sky and then diagonal down to his other side. Everyone was laughing so hard; I was clutching my side with tears rolling down my face.
"I'm a model you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah
I do my little turn on the catwalk"
Emmett did a spin and showed us his butt.
"I'm too sexy for my car too sexy for my car
too sexy by far"
He pretended to drive a car.
" And I'm too sexy for my hat
Too sexy for my hat what do you think about that?"
Emmett took of his hat and throws it at Rosalie.
"I'm a model you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah
I shake my little touche on the catwalk"
At that Emmett ripped his pants off showing us him in a way to small red thong.
I dry heaved, which made everyone laugh harder.
" I'm too sexy for my too sexy for my too sexy for my
"'Cos I'm a model you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah
I shake my little touche on the catwalk"
Emmett wiggled his butt for us.
"I'm too sexy for my cat too sexy for my cat
Poor pussy poor pussy cat
I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my love
Love's going to leave me"
Emmett blow a kiss at Rosalie and then at me, I blushed.
" And I'm too sexy for this song!"
Emmett struck a pose for us one hand on his hip and the other behind his neck and stuck his lips out.
A/N:
Hope you all liked it!
Tell me what you think.
That was a one shot.
If you haven't already, please read my other story, I haven't updated it yet but I'm on holidays now so I'll get around to it.
I just had the idea to write this cause the song came on the radio just before and I thought of Emmett so yeah. Thanks for reading PLEASE REVIEW!