Disclaimer: I own nothing!! It's all credited to the genius, Ms. Stephenie Meyer!
This is my first fanfic so who knows how it really is… please review!! Flames for the sake of improvement are definitely welcome!! Enjoy!!
I stared at Melanie as she checked in on the kid. There is a wistful look in her eye, and I know her well enough to know that she is just happy to see Jamie comfortable. She closed the door softly and came to sit next to me on the shabby, little couch.
"Thank you," she said. Her beautiful voice quiet, so as not to wake him up, I guessed. "I feel bad. This couch is much too short for you maybe you should take the bed with Jamie."
I couldn't help but laugh at that. Characteristic Mel. She thought of me before herself even in a world where that kind of generosity could cost her her life. "Mel, you're only a few inches shorter than I am. Sleep comfortably, for once. Next time I'm out ill steal my self a cot or something." I tried to keep it light. I didn't want her to see how much I wanted to stay with her, to be with her in every way. I doubted if she wanted me the way I wanted her, and even if she did… that was a dangerous train of thought. She was just too young!
I put my arms around her and she leans into my touch. I try to ignore the fact that it feels like the entire left side of my body has been caught on fire and I just didn't feel the pain yet. She looked like something was hurting her; I couldn't take that look from her much longer. Her pain was mine.
"Why the frown?" I was trying to cheer her up.
"When will you… when will WE have to leave again?" she emphasized. I fought a smile.
"We scavenged enough on our way up that we are set for a few months. I can do a few short raids if you want to stay in one place for a while, I'm sure your tired of running."
"Yes, I am," she agrees. She breaths heavily, "but if you go, I go." I feel proud. She is so brave. I pull her tighter to my side as if to hold her there permanently.
"I'll admit I prefer it that way. The thought of being separated from you…" I laughed to keep her from seeing the depth of but then I blurt out, "does it sound crazy to say that I'd rather die? Too melodramatic?"
"No, I know what you mean." Did that mean she saw me as more than a protector? More than just another human in this alien ridden world? Some thing seems different about tonight than every other night we've spent together. Something's missing. Then with a flash of excitement and nervousness I realize that we are completely alone. Jamie listening in. I love him like my own family, but now that I am truly alone with Mel I realize what I was missing. She starts to breathe faster and I wonder if she is thinking the same thing. No, I tell myself, she cant be.
"I don't think you need to find a cot. Not yet." I looked at the girl, no, woman in my arms. She refused to look at me.
"We'll stay here until the food is gone, don't worry. Iv slept on worse things than this couch."
"That's not what I mean." Her eyes are on the floor.
"You get the bed, Mel. I'm not budging on that." Chivalry had been ingrained since birth and I wasn't going to give it up then.
"That's not what I mean either," her voice is quiet again, but for a different reason, I suspect. "I meant the couch is plenty big for Jamie. He won't outgrow it for a long time. I could share the bed with… you."
I can't speak. She still won't look at me and when I can't take it any more, I put my fingers under her chin to make eyes meat mine. A shock runs through me when she looks at me. The heat between us is overwhelming. Does she feel that too? And then it occurs to me that she probably just thinks that she owes me. That just because we are the only ones left… she owes me that. As much as I didn't want to, I had to tell her otherwise.
"Mel, I…" I didn't know how to fraise it. I look away from her penetrating gaze, "you don't owe me that, Melanie. You don't owe me any thing at all."
"I'm not saying… I didn't mean that I felt obligated. And… you shouldn't either. Forget I said anything."
"Not likely, Mel," I still can't look at her or ill never finish, "Mel, it doesn't have to be like that. Just because we're together, just because we're the last man and woman on earth…" I can't find the right words. But I know that it is just because I didn't want to say them. "That doesn't mean you have to do any thing you don't want to. I'm not the kind of man who would expect… you don't have to…"
"That's not what I mean- 'have to' is not what I'm talking about and I don't think you're 'that kind of man'. No. it's just that-"
"Just that…?" I'm dying for her to finish her sentence. She tries to shake her head but I can't let her look away. "Mel?"
She pulls away from my hand and shakes her head vigorously. Suddenly I'm fighting between what I want so much and the way I know it should be. "Will you talk to me please?" I'm very aware of how close I am to her.
She finally looks at me and starts to speak, "if I had to pick anyone, anyone at all, to be stranded on a deserted planed with, it would be you. I always want to be with you. And not just… not just to talk to. When you touch me…" the burning heat between us increased. She ran her thin fingers down my arm. I sucked in air as my eyes rolled back and closed. I pulled her closer if that were possible, not wanting any space to separate us. "I don't want you to stop. If you don't feel the same way, I understand. Maybe it isn't the same for you, that's ok."
She had no idea what she did to me. "Oh, Mel," I couldn't resist her any longer. I pulled her face up and crushed my lips to hers. The feel of her soft lips moving in unison with mine was heaven and hell rolled into one. This moment was so perfect. I knew it had to stop then though. My hands tangled in her long silky hair. I moved to whisper in her ear before I got carried away.
"It was a miracle- more than a miracle- when I found you, Melanie. Right now, if I were given the choice between having the world back and having you, I wouldn't be able to give you up."
"That's wrong"
"Very wrong, but very true." There. Now she saw the depth of my feelings for her. I had laid it all on the table.
"Jared," she breathed, her voice full of longing, making it nearly impossible to resist her.
"But…" that was one of the most difficult words I had ever had to say.
"But?" she sounded exasperated.
"But your seventeen, Melanie. And I'm twenty- six."
"What's that got to do with any thing?" I couldn't stop my self from touching her. I ran my hands down her bare arms, absorbing the heat.
She groans and leans away from my chest. "You've got to be kidding me. You're going to worry about conventions when we're past the end of the world?"
"Most conventions exist for a reason, Mel. I would feel like a bad person, like I was taking advantage. You're very young."
"no ones young any more anyone who survived this long is antient."
"maybe your right but this isn't something we need to rush."
"what is there to wait for?" she demands,
I stop, thinking how to phrase this, but not wanting to say it at all. "well for one thing there are some practical matters to consider." She raised one eyebrow, not under standing me. "see, when I was stocking this place I wasn't much planning for… guests. What I mean is…" the next part spilled from my mouth so fast it was almost incoherent, "birth control was pretty much the last thing on my mind."
"oh" was her only response.
Then I got angry. When you love someone as much as I loved Melanie, you shouldn't have to think about this. "This isn't the kind of world I want to bring a child into."
I smiled, thinking back on our time together, "besides, we've got plenty of time to… think about this. Do you realize how very, very little time we've been together so far? Its just been four weeks since we found each other." That was hard to believe.
"that cant be." She said, mirroring my thoughts.
"twenty-nine days. im counting." She looks thoughtful, "we've got time." Her face changes from thoughtful to almost paniced.
"you don't know that."
I laughed to lighten the mood, then I kissed her forehead. "don't worry, mel. Miracles don't work that way. I will never loose you, I will never let you get away from me."