Hello readers! Thanks for stopping by. Don't read if you don't want to be spoiled up through 6x02!
I am a long time TVD fan and an off and on FF writer. Its been a long time since I've been on this site, but I'm back and excited to share stories with you all. This story is, of course, Delena, as all my TVD fics are. It is based on the concept that Elena can't really remove her love for Damon from her mind, and that trying to do so has consequences. She's suffering with headaches and confusion and a longing she can't place. And Damon would never let her live in that kind of misery.
Hope you all enjoy, and I would really love to hear back from you! Reader feedback makes writing so much more fun.
XOXO
There was a vacancy. Elena didn't know what could fill the vacancy, but something told her whatever it was would be strong and tender, hard and soft, rough and gentle. It would be powerful and all-consuming and most importantly it would complete her.
Whatever it was.
She shouldered her backpack and headed toward her next class. College was a thing people were supposed to do, and she was pretending to be a person. A vampire-person. A blood-craving, recently reckless, incredibly mpty vampire-person. That should mix really well with the campus party scene.
That made her think of the night she went to a college party with Damon. Why would she do that? Damon was a monster and a killer. Not just any killer, but the killer who had tried to take her brother from her.
She had liked dancing with him that night, and she remembered wanting more of his body against hers. She remembered dreaming about his lips and getting caught up in the sensual haze of his brilliantly blue eyes trained on hers.
Another flash hit her. They were in bed. Naked. He was all over her, and she was urging him on, giving her body over to him, never more certain about what she wanted.
Elena shook her head. She must be going crazy, to be seeing Damon Salvatore like that. Those memories felt real, but they didn't match the other things in her head. He had killed Jeremy. He had tried to kiss her on her porch and she'd pushed him away. He hadn't been there the night of her birthday.
Wait. Why was that important? So what if he hadn't been there?
"Elena!" Alaric jogged up to her. "Hey, I was hoping to catch you before class. How are you doing?"
She shrugged, sweeping her hair back from her face. "Uh, fine, I guess. You know. Decent. You?"
"Fine," He replied, studying her closely. "Any confusing thoughts? Conflicting emotions?"
Was he in her head again? She blinked. Why would it be again? Alaric had never been in her head.
"Just back to school stuff," She told him casually. "Trying the whole normal thing again. Usually goes well for me."
He gave her a half smile. "Yeah. So I was just wondering if you'd thought at all about Damon. We're thinking of visiting his grave."
Yes. She could visit Damon's grave. Except she hated him. Obviously. "Why would I want to do that?"
Alaric was still staring at her. "No reason. Guess you wouldn't really."
"Uh, no. I wouldn't," She agreed, wondering why her head was suddenly pounding to the point that she was almost dizzy. "He's dead and good riddance." The words fell flat, lacking a punch of sincerity. Maybe that was because she was suddenly, randomly, wishing he had been there to fill in for Stefan when he had stood her up at the Miss Mystic Falls dance. Damon would have been a great dance partner. She sighed.
"You sure you're okay?"
"Fine." She spoke a little testily this time. "I just don't have any interest in mourning Stefan's dead brother. Sorry. I know you guys were close or whatever, but Damon and I… we weren't really even friends. We were nothing alike."
Alaric's deep brown eyes were filled with a sorrow Elena didn't understand. "Yeah, of course. Okay. I'll let you get to class."
Elena shrugged again. "Sure. See ya."
XOXO
I love you, Elena.
This is our time.
You look beautiful.
I'm happy.
Elena woke with a start, groaning at the sunlight streaming into her eyes. Her head was throbbing again. It seemed to always be throbbing lately, as though straining in a way totally beyond her control. Yanking the covers up over her head, she shut her eyes tightly and tried to fall back into the dream she thought she'd been having. It was already slipping away from her, but it was such a warm and happy dream that she missed it with an ache she didn't understand.
Her alarm went off, signaling that she had twenty minutes to get to her first class, but she shoved one arm out from the covers and slapped at her phone until the alarm shut off. In the dark aloneness of her bed, she fell back to sleep within seconds.
I wanted to dance with you today.
His eyes were so surprised, and then so gentle. It made her long for him, just to see the hope her words brought him. He loved her so much.
And she loved him too.
She took his hand, letting him pull her into a slow dance. Her fingers curled around his and he looked into her eyes like she was the only person in his world. And she knew she was. That's the way he loved her.
It was impossible to wait another moment to kiss him, and as he spun her out she made the decision. The moment their bodies touched again, her mouth was on his and her hands were all over him. It was about passion, yes, but so much more. It was about ages of waiting, longing, needing, dreaming. It was all coming true in this moment as they explored each other with abandon, for once nothing standing in their way.
They made love over and over, their supernatural bodies in possession of more stamina than could be spent in a night. When they finally did fall asleep, it was by accident as they lay in each other's arms, talking and kissing. She had woken up hours later and found his shirt, wrapping it around her slight body and freshening up before sneaking back into bed with him and starting all over again.
He walked her to the door, and she hated to leave. He must have felt the same because he looped her scarf around her neck and drew her in for one more kiss. Damon didn't say the words that morning, but she saw his love in his eyes, felt in his touch, and heard it in his voice. And all day long as she dreamed of being in his arms again, she whispered the words to herself, eager to tell him.
"I love you."
Elena heard her own groggy voice through the haze of sleep and slowly blinked her eyes open. Had she just spoken? Great. Now she was talking in her sleep. She wondered how the new roommate who would be arriving today would feel about that, especially if she was whispering sweet nothings in the middle of the night to strange men who existed only in her mind. But who seemed strangely familiar.
Well, if she got too freaked out, Elena could just tell her she was a vampire. That'd make the sleep-talking thing blow over pretty quickly.
She got up and stretched, lifting her arms over her head as she yawned. Making her way to the bathroom, she started to get undressed for a scalding hot, come-on-body-wake-up shower. Just as she leaned over the sink toward the mirror to get a better look at her glazed eyes, she saw one of her lip glosses float upwards, making her jump back with a startled curse.
Words appeared on the mirror.
THIS ISN'T THE ANSWER
"What isn't the answer?" She demanded of the invisible entity, too used to supernatural occurrences to be truly frightened, but disturbed nonetheless. "Who are you?"
YOU KNOW. IT ISN'T RIGHT TO HOLD ON. ITS NOT RIGHT TO FORGET EITHER.
"Is this really the time for riddles?" Elena crossed her arms, staring down no one except herself in the mirror. "Who are you?"
YOU CAN'T TAMPER WITH YOUR MIND, ELENA. ITS NOT SAFE. ITS GOING TO COME BACK TO HAUNT YOU.
She arched an eyebrow. "Speaking of haunting…"
HA. HA.
"Great, the ghost thinks I'm funny," She muttered. "Look, out with it, or I call someone to get rid of you. And I know a lot of people who could do that, by the way."
YOU ALREADY GOT RID OF ME. YOU NEED TO BRING ME BACK AND LET GO THE RIGHT WAY.
"Who ARE you?" Elena shouted.
I'M DAMON SALVATORE. STEFAN'S BROTHER. I'M A MONSTER.
Elena's jaw dropped and she took a step back. Conflicting emotions bombarded her, bits and pieces of memories pinging in her head but not connecting in a thread that made sense to her. Pain throbbed in her temples and behind her eyes. "Damon…"
ELENA
"Damon…" She closed her eyes. "Why do I feel like this?"
BECAUSE PART OF YOU IS MISSING. GET HELP, ELENA.
XOXO
Elena watched Alaric's face as he processed everything she had just told him about her encounter in the bathroom. She didn't understand his almost tortured expression, and when he had been silent for five full minutes, she prodded him.
"Ric?"
He sighed. "I knew this was a bad idea from the beginning, and I chose to do it anyway. I'm so sorry, Elena."
Confused, she shook her head. "What are you talking about? Do you have something to do with my weird memories?"
"What weird memories?"
She told him about her dreams and the random flashes she would get, all centered around Damon in a way that didn't make sense to her. He was just Stefan's brother.
"He's more than that," Alaric said quietly. "But I'm afraid if I try to tamper with your memories again, it'll do even more damage. What Damon is trying to tell you from the other side is that you're playing with fire. I know you don't understand that, but I do. And I have to figure out some way to fix what we did."
More confused than ever, Elena rubbed her aching forehead. "It would be great if someone could just tell me what's going on."
"I know." Ric stood up and touched her shoulder gently. "And I will. As soon as I figure out a way."
XOXO
Elena didn't hear from Ric for another three weeks. Nor did she hear from Damon. In fact, she didn't really talk to or interact with anyone because anytime she tried to process an emotion or an experience, her head would ache so much that she could hardly keep upright. It was like her mind was slowly shutting down, lacking some mystery element required for her to go on.
Part of you is missing.
That's what Damon had written on the mirror. She still couldn't figure out what he meant. Did he mean him? Surely he couldn't be so arrogant as to think that now that he was gone, she couldn't go one. They had had some good times together. She knew because those memories flashed into her mind now and then, reminding her of something that seemed far away and unreachable. At some point she had been with him. Or she had dreamed she'd been with him.
Was that it? Was this all a series of powerful dreams ripping the sense from her life?
There was a loud knock on her dorm room door and Alaric entered before she could answer him. He was moving with purpose, striding over to her and taking her by the shoulders in a way that startled her.
"Ric?"
"I've got it, Elena," He rasped, his voice rough from what she could only assume was sleep deprivation. Her father figure stand in looked wrecked.
She guided him to sit down. "Got what?"
"The answer," He explained, sagging into the chair. "I've spent the last few weeks researching, begging, calling in favors, even praying. I have to tell you something, Elena." Sitting up, he clasped her hand in his. "If we don't restore what we took away, then who you are is going to get lost. I took too big a part of you, and I'm sorry that I ever even entertained the idea."
"Ric," Elena said uncertainly, concerned but ever confused.
He shook his head. "I can't explain any more to you without triggering a break. The only way to fix what we've done is to put you where you're safest and slowly restore everything you've forgotten you knew. And when we do that, Elena, you're going to feel better. But you're going to have to grieve."
"Grieve who?" She demanded, not at all comfortable with anything Ric was saying. "You have to tell me what's happening to me, Ric. Please."
"I'll tell you."
She heard words, but Ric's lips hadn't moved. The sound had come from behind her, deep, rich, and familiar. It made her ache and that made her frustrated because why should his voice make her ache?
Turning, she stared into Damon Salvatore's face. "Can the world never get rid of you?"
His lips twitched, almost in a smile but without the humor. "The world, yes. You… no, Elena. You can't get rid of me."
"How are you here?" She stood up, wanting to run to him, slap him, scream at him. Her head, in a constant state of ache these days, pounded even harder.
"Like Ric said, he called in a few favors." Damon sat down carefully on the bed, his eyes never leaving hers. "I'm only here for a little while, Elena. One day. And no one can see me but you. Will you come with me?"
She tried to sneer. "Why so you can snap my neck too?"
There was a flicker of hurt across his face, but his voice stayed calm. "No. So I can help you understand everything."
That was tempting, and so was he. She still resisted. "I have school."
"You haven't been to class in four days," He pointed out. "And… its Saturday."
Elena glared at him. "Being dead, I guess you don't have much to do other than stalk people."
"I watch you all the time."
Her heart constricted and she felt emotion suddenly welling up, making her gaze drop to her feet. Then Ric was behind her, holding her shoulders. "Go, Elena. Please. You need to."
Knowing as much as he did that she needed answers, Elena nodded. "Yeah. Okay."
XOXO
More on the way soon, I hope! Don't forget to leave a note :)