Author's Note: One shot for Yullen Week. Since Novelist Pup's written the best darn thing for Dec 22nd's theme Playground, I thought I'd switch it up a bit and combine Leather AND Playground. Happy Yullen Week, everyone!
Disclaimer: Still no.
"Fight Like Children"
Lenalee Lee was a pretty practical person. So, for Christmas, she figured that the best gifts to give someone were things that were practical. Therefore, for the joyous holiday, she gave her brother a new coffee maker, clothes bleach for Reever to use on his lab coat (after all, his job is pretty dirty), a new cooking pan for Jerry, a new white shirt for Allen, and a better lamp for Lavi when Bookman makes him read late at night. Skipping down the halls, the Chinese girl happily looked for the last person she hadn't given a gift to yet—Yu Kanda.
Turning many ways and out a heavy door, she bounded into the training hall where she found Kanda meditating. Lenalee took off her shoes respectfully when she joined his side on the wooden floor overlooking a grassy area.
She waited a while before turning to him, "Hey, Kanda."
"What?" The Japanese teen replied brusquely, cracking one eye open to see her face.
"Happy Christmas!" She exclaimed, holding a wrapped box out to him.
"Shit!" He cursed, not expecting her sudden outburst and nearly getting smacked in the face with the box. Seeing her eager face, he sighed and grabbed the box, hastily tearing the red and green paper off and throwing the top of the box off and yanking the gift out. The swordsman slowly unfolded it, discovering that it was a new pair of leather pants. He looked at her quizzically, one eyebrow raised for emphasis.
"Well, I knew you needed a new pair," she explained thoughtfully after letting out a girlish giggle, "Your old ones were worn out. Basically, they've seen better days. I thought you might like a new pair."
Kanda looked back and forth between the pair of leather pants and the Chinese girl, "Che."
"You're welcome!" She responded happily, knowing that was about all she was going to get out of the man, and took her leave.
Later on that day, before going to the cafeteria, Kanda figured that, to make Lenalee happy when she saw him later, he would try on the damned pants. He soon found that the waist was a little loose. It had a lot of give to them. Did she think he needed room to grow or something? The raven-haired man quickly looped his belt through the loops to keep them on and proceeded to the cafeteria with his usually grumpy attitude.
However, that already bad attitude soon became worse, since the first face Kanda saw in that cafeteria was none other than that of an annoying, small, white-haired Moyashi. Grunting, he ordered his soba from Jerry and grudgingly sat across from Allen, seeing that there was literally no other table that was free enough. He noticed the new white button up shirt he was wearing, but chose not to comment.
"Yay! What did I do to deserve this?!" Allen cried in mock joy as Kanda lifted a leg to climb over the bench to take a seat. "Yu Kanda is gracing me with his presence?!"
"Shut it, stupid Brit before I make you" Kanda snapped, chewing on some of his soba noodles without directly looking at the boy.
After a few moments of silence, Allen piped up again, "Hey, Kanda…"
"What the FUCK to you want?!"
"Niiiiice new pants."
"Oh, fuck you."
"You know what they remind me of?"
"I don't give a rat's flying balls about what idiotic thing your brain will think of next."
"They look like stripper pants."
"Honestly, Moyashi. WHAT THE FUCK?!" Kanda banged his fists on the table.
"Just saying…"
"You know what?" Kanda thought menacingly, "You wear leather pants, too."
Allen grumbling, crossing his arms defiantly, "Well…that's different."
"How so?" Kanda smirked while waiting for an answer.
Allen tried to make a retort, but obviously forgot that we cannot speak and chew at the same time, so his words came out garbled and indistinguishable.
"What's that?" Kanda mocked, "I thought we were all grown up? We use words now. C'mon, sound it out, twatface."
Allen swallowed the food in his mouth painfully, "You're a demonic bastard." The smaller exorcist completed his statement by throwing a piece of food at Kanda, successfully hitting his chest before it landed in the other's soba.
Growling, the swordsman picked it out callously and chucked it back at Allen, hitting the other's hand who was prepared to launch another piece of food for a supporting fire, "Asshole."
"Fringe-cut," Allen teased as he picked up the food he was about to throw and flung it harder this time, knocking the older man's chopsticks over.
"Cursed brat!" Kanda spat out, picking up his chopsticks and hurling them at the boy, and Allen efficiently ducked so as to not be speared by them.
"You missed! Did your girly bangs get in your eyes, BaKanda?!" Allen laughed, whipping a French fry at Kanda. However, as soon as it left Allen's hand he knew that this may be Kanda's last straw.
And it was, the fry hit Kanda square on the chin. His glare turned even fiercer, and fully enraged, he stood up in a blind fury and threw his cup of tea all over Allen. The small boy shrieked at the scalding liquid that seeped through his shirt onto his chest and torso.
"Kanda!" Allen yelled, "Now why the hell did you have to do that?"
The Japanese sunk back into his seat and his shoulders shook a little as he let out a dry chuckle, "Dunno. You started it, dumbass."
"Yeah, but Kanda! You don't go and pour something this hot on someone. Especially someone wearing a brand new white shirt! Now help me before Lenalee gets mad!"
He contemplated this for a few seconds, before complying, deciding to not face an angry Chinese girl with a devilish kick today, "Whatever, Moyashi."
Kanda set to work on an area by the boy's stomach, patting it with a napkin trying to soak up some liquid. Allen was already attacking his own shoulder, trying to wring it out. Looking at it now, Kanda realized how see-through the shirt had actually become. You could clearly see Allen's black innocence arm and the design on his shoulder. You could see the pale skin and the definition of his muscles. You could even see how pink his n---what?!
Kanda's brain shut down, and suddenly, those loose leather pants weren't so loose anymore.
Jerry shook his head from the kitchen window, yelling to the exorcist pair, "Next time you two want to play with each other, don't do it on the Order's grounds! I run a tight place here, darlins!" Even when scolding, Jerry's high pitched gay voice didn't seem to have any sort of annoyance in it.
Allen laughed and Kanda turned his attention back to the boy in order to watch Allen finish the fight by digging into his dessert and smearing whip cream on the swordsman's face. The boy laughed like a hyena at Kanda, both at the face that he had the guts to do it and the way Kanda looked like that.
Kanda lunged at the boy and they both took of full sprint out of the cafeteria, Allen running for his life but cackling all the while.
Author's Note: Yay for random Yullenness!